A/N - I sadly do not own twilight.
"No, oh god, no, please, please, just leave me alone!" I screamed to the figure approaching me. I knew who he was and I knew what he wanted.
"Oh baby, I love it when you beg. Beg some more for me baby and I might leave you alone," he taunted me. I could feel the sneer on his face, and I could smell the alcohol on his breath. Oh god, it was going to happen again, I should be used to it but now but it hurts more and more each time. Why couldn't he leave me alone? I saw her come into the room also, and just walk out. She knew what was happening too, she didn't care.
The tears started to come out one by one as I prepared myself for the horror that was about to come. My stomach started clenching and the instinct to curl up into a ball took me over. Calm down Bella, this will all be over soon. You've endured all the before countless times, today is not different, you can do this, my mind told me in an effort to be positive, but there was nothing positive about this situation. Nothing could make this better, except his death.
I heard his snake-like footsteps shortening the gap between us and his bulky arms swung by his side making him look like a bloodthirsty animal, he would touch me soon enough and another little piece of me would die again. I calmed my muscles into a narcotic state, the less I fought, the quicker all of this would be over and he would leave me alone to mind my own business until the next time he wanted to use me. I felt everything within me go limp and my brain began to stop functioning so that I could remember as little of his assault as possible.
I felt his fingers start to trail down my face and my silent tears intensified. As soon as his rough, calloused fingers touched my skin I immediately shut everything down and didn't speak.
"That's right darling, just don't resist, everything works better that way," he whispered in my ear as his other hand rested on my thigh. "You know I love you baby, I would never hurt you," he said as he brought his lip down to mine hungrily and started to take my shirt off...
Beep. Beep. Beep.
My alarm clock went off waking me up from my horrible nightmare. I saw that my sheets were twisted at the end of my bed and that sweat drenched my forehead. My breathing slowed down as I basked in my surroundings, thankful it was just a dream.
However dreams are always based on some aspect of truth and the dream I just experienced was no different. That dream was the way my mind coped with the horrors of what happens to me at least 4 times a week. My mind makes me relieve the horror in my sleep so that when it happens in reality I believe I am dreaming and will wake up the next morning in my comfy bed, completely safe.
But I was never safe, not in my dwelling, not with my father or my mother. My life was literally hell on earth. I would wish what I go through day in and day out on absolutely no one.
I quickly got up out of bed and began to hide the black and blue marks on my skin with black pants. My clothes act as a shield toward anyone getting too close. No one wanted to be around the dark emo chick with the bad clothes, plain face and too much eyeliner. As I pulled a tank top over my head, I winced as the fabric tugged on the half healed scars on my back. The tight shirt clung to me and made me feel exposed, like I wanted people to look at me and witness my pain, I quickly threw a black sweatshirt on covering the tank top, making me feel a little more covered up.
I threw all of my stuff into my book bag, grabbed my iPod and left the house, wanting to escape the confinement that it represented. School would be better, at least there people don't pay any attention to me and I can be alone with my thoughts and actions.
I made my way into my new black BMW; my parents feel the need to shower me with gifts as a way of showing how much they care for me. Right, as if, they care about me the same as one would care about a dead mouse. I'm insignificant and repulsive and a burden my parents want to get rid of.
I wished my car wasn't so conspicuous though, I hated the attention it got me every time I parked on our school grounds. I hear the popular girls saying "How does someone like her own a BMW, she is pathetic, that car is so much better suited for me," Lauren Malory, the head cheerleader of Cawthra Park Secondary School for the Arts, the school I was subjected to going to since my family moved to Toronto because my dad got a promotion. He was an international businessman and as a result we travel very often. This was the only place we have lived in for more than two years. I had a talent for visual arts and applied to this school, I got accepted and my parents decided not to change schools on me since I "finally found something in the world that Bella was remotely okay at" in the words of my father.
I sighed and got out of my car, swung the strap of my book bag over my shoulder and was ready to being another day at school. I went to my first period English class and was thankful that we were starting a new book. Don't get me wrong, Funny Boy was an okay book but it allowed the feelings of isolation and the powerlessness I felt everyday in my own life to creep up within me every time I opened the book. I was glad we were starting 1984, Animal Farm was amazing and as a result 1984 was met with my high expectations.
I caught snickers behind my back as I walked to my seat in the back of the large classroom. Jacob was still being an asshole because we dated last year (before the incident) and I broke up with him. His ego still thinks he's the reason why I am what I am, how wrong he was.
"Hey, Bella, can I borrow your eyeliner, I seem to have run out. Oh you're out, hmm, well by the looks of the amount that on your face, I know how you ended up finishing it all the moment you opened it," Jacob said in an attempt at dissing me, but it was so bad it hardly even counted.
"Drop dead Jacob Black," I replied and looked away, turning my attention to the teacher.
"Oh feisty, did your dealer teach you that?" he said stupidly. Of course, anyone who wore black was instantly emo and on drugs, never one or the other, always both, how did I ever date this piece of shit I thought to myself while giving him the finger.
Ms. Wood started the class with introducing our new student.
"Good morning everyone," she began. What was so good about it, I didn't quite understand. "This is Edward Cullen. He just transferred here from New York and is a musical protégé on the piano, we are very lucky to have him at our fine institution," she continued. I looked up and barely noticed the new kid. He was blond and built; he would instantly think I was goth and have nothing to do with me. There was no point in me troubling myself with the need to size him up like I saw my other classmates doing. The male population was giving him looks and the females swooned at the sight of him. Pathetic! I thought.
"Edward, please take the empty seat next to Bella, so that we may begin our lesson on 1984. Now Orwell's warning of totalitarianism..." I zoned out of the lecture as he sat down next to me.
He was very handsome, muscular but somehow soft at the same time. His bright green eyes were complimented very well with his fair hair. He was dressed very well, with hints of designer origins, well he was a protégé, so he must be filthy rich I thought as I flung my hair across my shoulder so there was a barrier between us.
The lesson droned on and on and I felt my neighbours gaze on me constantly, but I didn't care. He couldn't do anything to help me. No one could. I was alone, always alone. I just wish it was over. I felt the tears start to build up and I knew that I had to stop thinking about it if I wanted to survive this school day. I quickly wiped my sleeve over my eyes and saw the note that was passed to me.
"Are you all right?"
It said in the most clear and elegant script I'd ever seen. Well a steady hand comes from playing the piano I guess. I chose to ignore the note. I don't do making friends, especially good looking friends. I know what he and every other guy want when they see me. They think that depressed girls are an easy lay. Please, I wouldn't give him the satisfaction.
The bell quickly rang and I gathered my stuff, tore the note up and threw it in the garbage on my way out the door, making sure he saw me do it. The rest of the day passed without incident. At lunch I sat alone at the very back of the cafeteria, like always and saw that the new guy was looking at me when I glance up from my food. He threw me a curious glance and I quickly looked down, avoiding his gaze.
As soon as my last class was over, I dreaded the thought of going home. He would be there in about 2 hours. I chuckled dryly at myself for knowing his schedule so well. I made my way into my car and drove away from the school.
As I reached my house I saw his car parked in the driveway. Fear took control of my body. He was never home this early. Something must have gone wrong at work or else he would be out with assistant catching an early dinner right now. Oh god, I felt the hairs on the back of neck stand up as I made my way out of my car. I knew he knew I was home and he would be sure to make use of me as soon as I entered the door.
I dragged my feet as I made my way to the door in an effort to postpone the inevitable. I hugged my book bag close to my body taking comfort in the little protection it gave me and I slowly opened the door. I was trying not to make a sound, if he didn't hear me enter, I would be able to get upstairs and hopefully avoid everything for a little while, even though a little while would truly be a very small amount of time.
Creeeeek I felt the floorboard make sounds as I walked, dammit, he would definitely hear me now.
"Bella?" He asked, his voice slurred by the alcohol I knew he was consuming.
"Y-yes," I answered timidly. Oh god, he knew I was here, and he wasn't going to waste anytime. I started breathing deeply, and trying to calm myself down, I hoped it would be quick today but by the sound of his voice, nothing would be slow today, he would take all of his anger out on me.
"Bella!" his voice roared. "Do you know the kind of day I have had today? One of the company's stocks plummeted, the stock I was supporting, now my boss is giving me hell, and my so called assistant quit today saying that I wasn't good enough for her, and to top it all off, I am put on temporary leave for the next week!" he shouted as I stood closed the door and listened.
Oh god, he was really pissed off, I winced as I remembered the last time he was this mad. I couldn't get out of bed for two full days because the skin on my back was stripped bare.
"And what are you doing! Why you are not over here helping me get over this CRAP!" he bellowed at me. I felt the force of his words hit me like a brick wall. I knew I had to move close to him, make him not move, it would be better for me that way, but I couldn't seem to move. I couldn't make myself endure him today, I just couldn't. Tears escaped from my eyes and I couldn't hold them back, I knew they would fall intensely later on and I should save them but I couldn't stop myself from the pain I knew was coming.
"BELLA!" I heard him yell as he drunkenly got up from the armchair in the living room and started to walk towards me. I quickly retraced my steps so that my back was against the door. "GET OVER HERE YOU WHORE! USE YOUR ABILITIES TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER!" he screamed at me as I felt a beer bottle crash into the wall beside me and shatter into a million pieces. Oh god, it was starting.
A/N - Okay so I am very sad FanFiction won't allow other font. : ( Edwards writing looked so much better on word. -sigh- Anyways, I hope you guys like the story, I actually like the idea a lot and I've always wanted to write something angsty, so yeah. Review, I like reviews, they make me smile. : D