Even though I don't really like one-shots, I decided to write one. Go figure, eh? It takes place when the Baudelaires are at Prufrock Preparatory School. In the books, Klaus and Violet seem to have a different relationship than my friends do with their siblings (I'm an only child! YAY!). The Baudelaires don't have much of an I-tagged-you-back sort of thing going on, and I thought that maybe I'd slip it in there. I haven't reread any of the ASOUE books since February, so I used baudelairette dot net for help. (It's my favorite fansite for the series!) Anyway, enjoy!

Sunny Baudelaire looked proudly at her work. One thousand, nine hundred forty five staples made. Just ninety-three left.
She bit into another medal rod as Vice Principal Nero stepped in to check on her.
"How are the staples going?" he asked in an irritated voice.
"Dientivo," she said, which means something like, "Very well, but this is rather hard on my teeth!"
"Dientivo," Nero mimicked. Then he began to practice his violin playing yet again. The horrible sounds made Sunny decide to work faster.
After another hour, she was complete. She handed her staples to Nero, then left the office.

"How many centimeters wide was the sink?" Mrs. Bass asked Klaus Baudelaire when he returned from the bathroom.
"Thirty-six," he informed her as he took his seat.
"Now," Mrs. Bass said, taking a ruler from the unsuspecting student sitting in front of her. "I would like you all to measure - " she tapped her ruler on the desk, making some students jump "- the height and width of all the books you find in this classroom."
The bell rang.
All of the students got up to leave and end school for the day, but Mrs. Bass stopped them. "Not so fast, we're not finished!"
Reluctantly the students returned to their seats.
"Go on! Measure!"
After a few minutes, she asked, "Anyone having problems?"
One student said, "Yes, Mrs. Bass."
Everyone stopped to look at her.
Their teacher narrowed her eyes. "What?"
"You took my ruler."
Mrs. Bass slammed the ruler down on the girl's desk. She shrieked and nearly knocked over the sleeping boy sitting next to her, who immediately awoke.
"Here. CLASS DISMISSED!"

Sunny walked across the school grounds to the little shack where she and her siblings lived. It was a cold, raining evening. S.O.R.E. was always better when the weather was cold or rainy, because the three Baudelaires weren't as hot as normal. Sunny shivered in her jacket and put on her mittens and hat. She knocked on the door.
"Hello, hello, hello," said a voice from inside.
Sunny wanted to drop dead.
"Jeavilin!" Sunny shouted defensively, a word that here means, "Whatever you're doing in there, don't hurt my siblings and get out!"
She peeked in the window. She yelled. It was Olaf.
"Not so quickly," said the voice. "Come in, come in, come in."
Sunny gulped. She wasn't sure what to do….
Someone screamed from inside, and she was certain it was Violet.
Sunny took a deep breath and opened the door. Her jaw dropped.
For it was Violet who had screamed, but she was rolling on the floor with laughter, a replica in paper form of Olaf's face in her hand.
"What?" Sunny said, starting to laugh a little bit.
"It's a joke!" Violet choked. "I made this mask that looks like Olaf to scare you and Klaus. Wonder where he is, anyway?"
She looked out the window.
"How make?" Sunny asked.
"I tied up thread in a series of different knots I made up to get the hair and eyebrows like Olaf's. I did the rest with paint and pencils. We got out of class early, because Mr. Remora is going to be making up a new story about whales he saw in New Zealand."
"Lifelike."
Violet smiled.
"Jinfu -" Sunny said, which meant something like "But I think it's a kind of mean -"
Violet heard someone at the door and slipped her mask back on.
"Shhh," she whispered, putting a finger to her lips. She cleared her voice and said, "Come in, come in, come in…"

Klaus stopped. That doesn't sound good, he thought.
"FAKE!" screamed Sunny. "FAKE!"
There was a loud bang.
Maybe he's hurting her!
Klaus slammed open the door and did a dive into the house, accidentally knocking over Violet, who was choking with laughter. He crashed into one of the three piles of hay that he and his siblings slept on.
"Where is he?" Klaus asked nervously, his voice slightly muffled.
"He's here." Violet waved her mask in his face once he emerged from the straw. He jumped and she laughed some more.
"I wouldn't be laughing if I were you," Klaus said, very seriously, brushing himself off. "You're the one stuck with the crabs on your back."
Violet stopped. "Really? I don't feel them."
"That's because they're stuck to the rather large amount of fungi, dripping down from your neck."
Violet reached for her back, but Klaus stopped her.
"Don't! You don't want to touch the crabs. They could bite and transfer a series of unpleasant diseases into you. But I found out at school today that there is a way to kill them."
"What is it?"
Klaus smiled. "Stop thinking that the crabs and the fungi are there, because they're not."