Chapter I

Blue and white. Blue and white. Blue and white…These were the colours on Nowaki's umbrella, which he was spinning round and round. Well, they had gotten a bit wet by now, since he spent almost an hour standing in front of Akihiko Usami's place, waiting for the guy to come out. His coat was already soaked, his shoes and trousers too. The rain was getting heavier and he was just going to walk himself back home without seeing Usami but just when he was turning on his toes to head back, Akihiko approached him.

Nowaki almost freaked out and wanted to run away but he noticed that Akihiko wasn't looking at him at all; he didn't seem to pay any attention to him. Just stood under a tree lighting a cigarette. He was keeping his head low while inhaling the first wisp of smoke and shoved the lighter back into the pocket of his brownish coat.

If a person standing under a tree, smoking a cigarette in the rain, looking down on the ground with his hair getting wetter and sticking to his forehead is unhappy, then Akihiko Usami was unhappy. Keeping his left hand in his pocket, he seemed to be playing with the lighter. After a moment, he took his hand out; it was holding a little yellow teddy bear. Nowaki couldn't believe his eyes when he saw that adult man looking at the bear with wet eyes. If it wasn't raining, he would be certain that Usami was crying…

'He doesn't even notice my presence…' thought Nowaki. 'Is he that deep in thought or is he just pretending?' Not caring for Usami's reaction, he decided to approach him directly.
'Akihiko Usami!' he shouted in an angry but yet trembling voice. Akihiko sized him up and threw away the cigarette while making a few steps toward the weird guy who obviously wanted something from him.

'If you have a pen and a piece of paper, well of course you have, you guys always have, I'll sign it for you. Or your sister, mother, girlfriend, or whoever and then you'll vanish ok?' Akihiko said it a single breath, barely paying attention to Nowaki who was so stunned with this sudden screed that he didn't know what to do and just stood in place staring at Usami.
'Not good enough?' Akihiko continued with a grin 'I noticed that you were standing there for some time, so I guess you would want a book for all your effort, ne? So come to my place.
I have some of that crap my publisher leaves me; she thinks that I want to give them to my friends. Poor stupid woman. Anyway, I have enough wood for my fireplace so I can give you my latest novel.' He finished and started walking towards the entrance of his house at a slow pace so that Nowaki could catch up with him.

They didn't look at each other in the lift. Akihiko was still keeping his hands in his pockets, obviously thinking that his "fan" was the one obligated to keep the conversation flowing. Nowaki was appalled, not knowing how to response to this "welcome" and misunderstanding. They didn't have a word with each other even when they reached the front of Usami's door; while he looked for his keys…

Nowaki was quite impressed with the style of Usami's apartment. Minimalist yet posh. A leather couch sat in the middle of the guest room, a glass table right in front of it. Pale walls, some green flowers in the corner were making it look stylish, but maybe a little cold. He opened his eyes wider when he noticed the big yellow teddy bear sitting on the couch.
'This guy is out of this world…' he thought sadly 'No wonder that he and Hiro-san…They are both special.' The thought just popped into his mind unwillingly. Every time he even thought about Hiroki, he got this feeling deep in his heart. A warm embrace just from seeing his face.

'Stalker, are you listening?' Usami interrupted Nowaki's day dream 'I just said that you're kind of wet. Would you be nice enough to get undressed?'
'Ummm? YuWaMeUndres?' that was what came out of Nowaki's mouth.
'Whatever you said…nope. Not in that sense, moron. You are WET so go to the bathroom upstairs and change your clothes for a bath robe so you won't stain my carpet'.

While Nowaki, not knowing what else to do, went upstairs, Usami lighted another cigarette and sat next to his bear.
'Suzuki-san, do you have any idea who that guy is? He looks familiar...'he said out loud not noticing that his guest was already back downstairs, standing behind him.
'No wonder I look familiar, you know Hiro-san, don't you?'
'Yeah. But you are not Hiroki. Are you? If you are, then the plastic surgeon did a nice job.'

'I mean you are not similar at all, but I preferred the previous version. While saying this, Usami grabbed Nowaki and threw him onto the couch, pushing against his chest.

Nowaki struggled wildly.
'Get off!' he shouted at the top of his voice. And surprisingly, Usami did.
'You're not Hiroki. He would never react that way...'
Nowaki looked away, not wanting Akihiko to see his tears.
'He always says it to me…' he said quietly.
'Sad…But what have I to do with it?' Usami was confused. But deep in his heart he knew what Nowaki meant. He had been fighting for Misaki's affection for such a long time now. Without much effect.
'You're asking me what you have to do with it? Don't play me for a fool. You are in his dreams and in his thoughts. I feel guilty that I'm not you and I can't make him happy because of that.' Nowaki lost it and jumped off the couch, walking around the room while continuing his monologue 'In my dreams HE is, there wasn't never anybody else. He is my whole world and I would do anything to make him smile at me the way he smiles at your photo when he thinks I can't see him. I would make you disappear. I would kill you if that would make him forget you. Hiroki loves you, you stupid megalomaniac…' he lowered his voiced before saying the last words '...and you should do something to make him happy. Be with him.'

Akihiko didn't know whether to laugh or to cry. It was just so hilarious that this guy, who he thought was a crazy fan, ended up being Hiroki's partner and came all the way here just to say to him what he'd just said. But the moment he wanted to reply, he noticed Misaki standing in the anteroom.

At first it was because he didn't want to disturb them, thinking that Usagi-san wass having an important business meeting. But he apparently heard the whole conversation. The next moment, he dropped the shopping bags on the floor and left, slamming the door.
'Misaki! Misaki! Come back this minute!' Usami yelled at him but Misaki was already running down the stairs. They could hear the racket he was making.

Akihiko turned to Nowaki, who was confused with the sudden interruption.
'That was the man I love. If I don't manage to get him back here, you better hide somewhere, at least 10,000 km away because I will find you.' He stood up. 'Now listen, go back to Hiroki. I'm not a therapist to help you with your sick relationships, but maybe you're just doing something wrong? Acting too emotionally?' his voice softened 'Hiroki needs a strong hand you know, and I'm not telling you this to upset you. Just be a little harsh and he'll get back to normal, he likes being the center of attention, but he likes it even more to fight to be there if you know what I mean.' Usami finished with a smirk.
'So you won't take him from me?' Nowaki asked with wet eyes. Not waiting for a reply, he headed towards the door.' Thank you, Akihiko Usami. If you want any of my help with that boy, I will do it. Should I explain everything to him?'
'It's no use. I have to fetch him myself. Just go now'

After Nowaki closed the door on the other side, Usami found his mobile and dialed Hiroki's number.
'Hiroki? That wicked bastard of yours came to my place today rumbling about you being unhappy because of me ruining your life…And ended up ruining mine…Would you please do something about him next time? Like, I don't know. Maybe let him have you finally? No, I'm not a pervert Hiroki. Just do it. He deserves you.'