If Onlys
A/N: I'm extremely new to BSG and have only seen the miniseries at the moment so opinions on this little piece would be appreciated. Thanks.
"We need to get the hell out of here and we need to start having babies."
She could just tell those words were going to come back to haunt her. Not just professionally either. She lay in the tiny bed in the space she now called home and finally, now the immediate crisis was over, let her thoughts drift.
If only seemed to be the words most of her thoughts started with. She didn't know what it was about him but there was definitely something about William Adama that made her think, 'If only I was five years younger' which inevitably led to the thought 'If only I wasn't dying'. She tried to push the selfishness behind her but the events of the last two days finally caught up and she felt herself start to sob. The tears were slow at first for all her body wracked with sorrow but soon they were flowing freely and soaking her pillow.
Gradually she recovered and she knew her face was red and puffy as it always was after and she was glad she was on her own. Trying to push her impending death from her mind she tried to figure out what was so damned special about the man she was likely to spend her last days working with.
She hadn't spent that much time with him yet and what time they had had together had mostly been spent butting heads. He wasn't the type she usually went for but there was definitely something about him that appealed to her. Maybe it was his ability to admit his mistakes or his coolness under fire or the inspiring speech he had given at the memorial service. That was more like it she decided. She spent long minutes pondering this conclusion when finally she settled upon his voice. She could just imagine the effect his voice would have on her if he whispered in her ear. She tingled at the mere thought and this and the thoughts that followed finally distracted her enough from the nightmare of reality to drift into sleep and dream of if onlys.