happy arahika day! :9 i'll be honest im actually not done with this fanfic yet (OIKAWA POSE) but it is arahika day and im not waiting another year to post this
special thanks to everyone who helped with the makings of this fic! aka reading the first drafts and telling me what you guys thought of it and giving me advice
also find me on my writing blog right over at kensei-lancelot dot tumblr dot com. when i complete posting all the chapters here on AO3 and FFN, i'll finally post the entirety of this fanfic on my tumblr and i'll publish the fanmix i made for this fic on 8tracks too
sometimes you just gotta take matters into your own hands whoops
please enjoy!
Night after night, I hear myself say, why can't this feeling just fade away?
—If I Let You Go, Westlife—
When he opens the door, the first thing he notices is how cold it is. The second is the darkness—which quickly disappears with the flick of a switch. And the third, a strange lump of blue on his bed. His eyebrows rise as he walks over, picking up said garment from his pillow.
His blue eyes widen at the sight, stifling a gasp. Why is this here? Arata couldn't have forgotten it. Or did he leave it on purpose? No, that shouldn't be right. He can't help but to stare at the clothing in his hand, the jacket Arata always wore under his uniform; the uniform of the academy he recently left.
Staring out the dark window, he can't resist feeling an emotion he hadn't felt ever since entering Kamui Daimon Comprehensive Academy.
Loneliness.
He feels lonely.
The next morning comes and he crawls out of bed, yawning and stretching, his hair a mess. He is about to wake the person sleeping in the other bed—when he remembers that there is no one sleeping in the other bed. His mouth curves into a frown and he gets ready for school with a sigh.
Just as he steps out the door, clad in his navy blue blazer and yellow tie, the boy shivers noticeably. It's cold—colder than usual this morning. Is this normal weather or is it just him? His eyes trail back to the blue jacket he had folded neatly and placed on the unoccupied bed last night.
… It can't hurt anyone.
For an odd reason the walk to school is dreadful, and he would rather go back to the Duck Manor and sleep the rest of the day away. But he knows Haruki wouldn't let him without a good reason and so he toughens up and climbs the hill—not noticing how heavy his breathing is or his sluggish steps.
By the time he reaches classroom 2-5 and slides the door open, Haruki is over him in two seconds flat. "You missed breakfast today and you're later than usual. Are you alright?" he goes straight to the point, his brow furrowing—apparently a look that never leaves him, the blond concludes.
He awaits a comment regarding his attire for the day and replies, "I'm fine." But by now he isn't so sure himself. Is he fine? He knows he's fine. But in the same time it's like he's been knocked out for two weeks. He tries to walk past the platoon captain so he can sit down already but someone stops him by his shoulder. A hand rests on his forehead and he's not sure whose it is. He can see a tinge of brown mixed with black. Screw that—he can't see anything now.
Only when he closed them he realizes his eyes are burning and it's still cold even with Arata's jacket under his blazer. Something hits his knees and it's like he's hanging from the edge of a tree branch. He hears familiar voices call out his name—some calmly and some frantically. But he waits for one voice, for one voice to call him. He doesn't hear it.
"Ara… ta…"
An all too familiar ceiling greets him when he forces his eyes open. He grunts and moans, pain shooting through him as he struggles to sit up. His hand holds his throbbing head and he panics as he realizes the jacket and his blazer are not on him. He calms when he sees said garments in the basin by the foot of the bed.
"You've got it bad this time. Higher than what should be normal," the commander of Harness slash school doctor says, turning her chair towards him. "You should go back to sleep—unless you're hungry. You can eat the food your friends brought for you," she says, pointing towards the bento box on the tray beside his bed. "There're painkillers too, if you want them."
He nods his head and she gets up, rummaging through the cupboard. The last time he had a fever, Arata offered to send him to the infirmary—which he rejected rudely. The rest of the day didn't exactly go in his favour, but he learnt a precious lesson that he's not going to forget anytime soon. If Arata hadn't entered the school, he's sure a lot of things would've gone differently. Perhaps they would still be under Seledy's command…
"Pardon the intrusion," a voice says as the door opens. It's Muraku, with Haruki and Sakuya behind him. Funny, he experiences an odd feeling of déjà vu. Higurashi-sensei lets them in. "You guys have nice timing. I have to meet with Mito-sensei after this—you can keep him company while I'm gone," she says. She places a cup of water on the tray and a packet of what he assumes is painkillers.
"We understand." Haruki replies for the trio and she nods, disappearing through the door. A yawn comes out of him and he tries to sit properly to eat. The others crowd at the edge of his bed. "How are you feeling?" Muraku asks, to which he's tempted to reply with, 'Like shit.'
"Horrible." He says instead for the sake of good manners and reaches out for the bento, which Muraku quickly takes and hands it to him. "Thanks." He opens the box and he sees onigiri. He stares at the balls of rice before he takes one and slowly begins chewing. For one reason or another, his eyes water a little and he blinks them away quickly.
"Why did you still come to school?" Haruki asks. "If you felt sick you should've just stayed in bed."
"I felt fine, that's why I came."
Silence lands between the four teenagers as he eats, until Sakuya takes notice of the blue jacket. His eyes blink before he lifts it up. "Isn't this Arata's?" he asks, turning his gaze back to him. A look of surprise appears on Muraku's and Haruki's face and they too stare at him.
He struggles to answer without choking. "I found it on his bed last night. I guess he forgot. It was feeling cold today so I thought I could borrow it," he lies, only a little bit. He still doesn't understand why Arata left it on his bed. Not the redhead's bed, but his bed.
Maybe one day, when they meet again, he can ask.
Haruki and Sakuya exchange glances and Muraku closes his eyes, arms crossed. It honestly feels strange in the infirmary, he knows it and he's sure the others know it too. As he ponders on his thoughts while eating, he slowly comes to realize why it feels different.
Perhaps the reason why it's cold today is because the red Sun between all of them is gone.
It took a while for him to recover; it took longer for him to finally get used to the missing warmth. It was the same for the rest of his friends, but they managed and graduated from the school without further life-threatening incidents.
And here he is, on a boat with most others, returning to the mainland after all these years. He looks down at the envelope in his hand and he frowns. It was the last letter Arata sent Jenock, before he stopped writing abruptly when they were in their middle school third year—nearing junior high graduation. Not even text or calls were answered after that. It still disturbs him, despite what others say. They promised to keep in touch, after all. Why did Arata break it?
"Still thinking over him?" a voice says from behind and he recognizes it as Haruki. "How can I not?" he replies, as the black haired teen leans on the rails next to him. "Something tells me you're going after him once we hit land." He says, untying and retying his long hair. He didn't have it cut or trimmed for a long time now—and it is a good look on Haruki, he has to admit. A bit on the wild side like the other's preferred LBX type.
He himself wasn't any different. Other than his bangs, he didn't cut or trim, letting his blond hair stay in a very long ponytail. He's considering cutting it when he gets home. Considering. It does get troublesome sometimes, so he wouldn't really mind. Maybe miss having it. He's not so sure.
Keeping the envelope his classmates were kind enough to let him own safe into his bag, he laughs a little at the other male's assumption. "Not immediately." He stresses. He needs to see his parents first, of course. And then maybe rest for a couple of days, laze around, read books. After that, maybe, he'll finally stomp up the Sena family's home and demand for the redhead.
There's a smirk on Haruki's face. "You're not one for cliffhangers, are you?"
"I'm not one for unanswered questions, and this is one question that's been bothering me for years."
"I can relate. If you need any help, the others and I are willing to lend a hand."
"Like I didn't know that."
What awaits them at the port is an unexpected welcome back crew, hosted by the ex-members of Jenock. Catherine is the loudest, greeting them before the boat even docked properly.
"I flew all the way from Country A just to see you guys!" She exclaims with a big smile, running up to Yuno and Kiyoka. She crushes them in a tight hug and Hanako follows behind her calmly, giggling at their antics.
Gendou is here too and he extends a hand for Haruki to shake. "It's nice to see you again." He says with a smile. "The pleasure is mutual." Haruki replies, smiling as well.
Some of them begin to tear up and some of them are laughing. Remarkably, even Kaito is here too—and the previous members of his platoon are gathered around him, all four of them choking back sobs. It looks like not even Nozomi expected to see Kaito.
"How did you guys know we're coming back today?" the blond asks with curious eyes.
Rikuya is the first to reply to him. "Jin-san told us. He informed us of your graduation day and decided to host a welcome back party. He's supposed to be here right now but it seems he's running late…" the redhead explains, looking at his watch and then at the streets. He seems more laidback now, in his casual clothes. Not so uptight like he was years ago.
Speak of the Emperor, Jin arrives not long after in a car and the graduates beam at the sight of him. He steps out, a nice smile on his face and waves at them. "Sorry for the delay. I got stuck in traffic." He explains and some of them laugh.
But when Mito Reina climbs out the car too, most of them shout in excitement and run towards her. The girls squeal and the boys gape at the wedding ring she's wearing. They almost crush her with questions, per se.
It's all a good reunion and Jin invites them over to a café run by his friend—Blue Cat's Coffee or something, the blond didn't quite catch the name—and they're all in on it. The blond calls his parents to tell them, and they're fine with it so he goes as well, despite the nagging feeling that something isn't right.
The café isn't crowded as he expected, and the décor is welcoming. There's a retro feel to it, but not as retro as the Shopping District. More like jazz and soul. A burly man in a red vest greets Jin from behind the counter and they exchange words before he introduces himself as Gouda Hanzou—not like most of them hadn't recognized him already.
"Oh man, Hinako's going to be so jealous when she finds out about this." Catherine pipes up with a mischievous smile, to which he and the others can't help but to smile at. He, Muraku, Rikuya, Yuno and Catherine sit together around a table—it's almost like they had agreed silently to talk and catch up on things. Haruki, Sakuya, Rinko, Gendou and the rest all sit on different tables in random groups. The café is empty except for the graduates and a few customers who were already dining here before they came.
"You're still in contact with her?" Yuno asks, looking at Catherine with a face of curiosity.
He places his bag by his feet, not exactly listening to their conversation.
"Of course! We still owe each other a lot of LBX battles." Catherine says, almost as if she's in disbelief at her friend's words.
"That's only because those battles keep ending in a tie." Rikuya comments, an amused smile on his face. Catherine looks embarrassed now and she's about to land a punch on Rikuya's shoulder as he's laughing when Jin interrupts her by sitting with them next to Muraku.
"You two keep bothering about my love life," the man starts, "shouldn't you two be more concerned about each other?" There's a smirk on his face now, something the blond thought he'd never see.
He coughs into his hand; it doesn't do much but at least it stops him from uncontrollably laughing his guts out. The sight of Catherine's and Rikuya's red faces as they deny any sort of romantic feelings towards each other isn't helping. Everyone else seems to be holding back laughter, if Muraku's twitching lips is any indication.
Things calm down as the group finally cease their giggles and Gouda serves them their drinks accompanied by some snacks they definitely didn't order. On the house, he says, much to their delight.
As Catherine eats a macaroon, her face contorts into an expression that says she realized something. "Ne, Jin-san, did you really invite everyone who was in class 2-5?" she asks, looking at him.
The man nods his head with a furrowed brow. "Yes. Why are you asking?"
"I don't see Arata."
Everyone falls into silence and stop their movements, except for Jin and Rikuya, who gasp instead. The young Hoshihara wants to hammer his head with his fists. So this is the reason for the nagging feeling. A Jenock reunion without Sena Arata, of course it would feel weird. What an idiot he is for forgetting! The mood must've carried him away.
All eyes turn towards Jin, who takes a deep breath and sighs. Rikuya fiddles with his fingers before he looks up. "I guess it really was futile to hope that none of you would notice." He says with a small smile on his face. Yuno looks unnerved. Muraku looks calm but the blond is sure even he's twitching inside from agitation. He can say the same for himself; if he isn't too busy focusing on Jin.
"What happened?" he asks with eyes narrowed. Jin's and Rikuya's nervous faces are only sending him awry vibes. It can't be good news. The atmosphere around the table is gloomy and Jin tries to speak but Rikuya stops him.
"I'll tell them." He quickly says, to which Jin nods.
"Back when all of us were still in middle school," the redhead starts, "Arata-kun agreed to help NICS in their experiments. I was scouted into NICS as a trainee, so we met each other a lot. However, the two of us agreed to a contract to never tell anyone except close family members about our connection with NICS."
The blond grips his fists. That would explain why Arata never said anything about affiliations with the big company in his letters.
"Professor Mito, Yamano Ban, Kazama Kirito and Jin-san were involved directly with Arata-kun's experiments. NICS wanted to see how far the Overload can go without hurting him too much, and the higher-ups knew the best people for that would be those four. If Arata-kun was left in the hands of any other scientist, I don't know what could've happened to him."
He spares a glance towards Jin, and the blond sees him gripping his right arm tightly.
"He was happy with how things were going in his life, I'm sure of it, and the experiments were always successful. But then, a year later in our third year of middle school… an incident happened."
The unexplained halt of letters and unanswered calls suddenly made sense.
"I'll take it from here, Rikuya." Jin says, to which the younger male nods.
"There was an explosion in the lab where we were and the control pod occupied by Arata at the time was separated from its base due to the shockwave," Jin says in one breath, eyeing their faces. "It was confirmed to have been an attack. The five of us barely managed to escape the rubble and flames but Arata was put in a state of coma. His parents demanded to end his contract with NICS. After that, they took Arata away while he was still comatose and we lost all connection to the Sena family."
"Their actions were understandable. They must have feared for Arata-kun's life. Even when he agreed to help NICS, they were quite hesitant and tried to talk him out of it," Rikuya says with a solemn expression. "We don't even know if he woke up from his coma."
"Didn't you guys at least tried to regain contact?" Yuno asks with her eyes wide. The blond can barely hear her however. His fists are tightly gripped on his knees, turning his knuckles white. His gaze stays on the table as he tries to comprehend the story.
Explosion? Experiments? Coma? What…?
Rikuya's reply to the girl's question almost went past him. "Best to leave him alone," he hears, "his parents wouldn't be happy to see faces from NICS again…"
"And the attack? Was the culprit caught?" a deep voice asks. Typical of Muraku, the blond thinks to himself. If it wasn't Muraku, it'd be Haruki. Their leadership habits don't look like they're leaving anytime soon. Old habits die hard.
He stands up and excuses himself to the toilet, not even caring about the details of the attack even though he feels like he should. It was the cause of Arata's injuries, after all. But he can't bring himself to sit at the table any longer—not when he's suffocating. Splashing water onto his face, hoping it can cool him down, the young man stares at his own reflection in the mirror. His features harden as he grips the sink and grits his teeth.
His stubbornness dies hard too.
If Arata's family moved, that means going to the address on the letters wouldn't cut it. He needs to use more than one method of search. It's not going to be as easy as visiting the Lost and Found box, that's for sure.
"Are you really going to look for him?" Muraku asks as they walk out the café's door. His eyebrows are a little lifted and he speaks softly. "Even after knowing the reason he stopped contacting us?"
"I want to see him more now that I do know the reason." He replies, sending the black haired male a peeved glance.
The other sighs. "I guess there's really no changing your mind."
"Quit trying to stop me. I know you want to meet him too."
"I do. But maybe… never mind," Muraku stops himself before he can finish his sentence and shakes his head.
Everyone else is saying their goodbyes and taking their separate ways. Though he's curious about what Muraku wanted to say, he lets it go. The black haired male holds out a hand to him. He takes it. "Good luck," are the words that come out of Muraku's mouth, accompanied by one smile.
The blond returns the smile and says, "I'll definitely find him."