Last Christmas

by Sami-Band

Oneshot. Five years of Christmas. How they met, how they became friends and much more in between. Rated M for obvious reasons. Akuroku. Sorry for the lateness, its been a bad few months : . Enjoy!

AN: Oh my freaking god I am so sorry to like, everyone. Seriously I don't know what happened, well I do but it sounds like bullshit. The laptop had to be taken in to get fixed, then they lost it, then they found out that they had given it to someone else… so what was meant to take two weeks, took like two months!

This oneshot was completed before bonfire night, believe it or not.

Anyway, enjoy it and let me know what you think and if you have any questions etc about my other fics, email me, I don't bite; promise :)

Last Christmas.

Year One… 25th December.

Why the hell did I agree to this again? Why the hell did I decide to spend my Christmas night here of all the places I would rather be. Like in a pub, or in bed… why here? I guess you're probably wondering where here is right? Well here just so happens to be a party. I know I know, since when have I ever not wanted to go to a party? Well in all honesty, its not that I don't want to be here, I'm just being negative. I guess if Sora hadn't have invited me to his stupid party then I would have just complained about why I didn't get an invite. So yeah, every year Sora throws a massive Christmas party and we always have a great time, like I said, I'm just being picky and negative. I don't even really know why, I mean it's Christmas day!

And it had been a great Christmas too; lots of nice cards and gifts and everything, just because I'm nineteen doesn't mean I can't enjoy Christmas like the younger kids. I freaking love Christmas! All the pretty lights and the tree and decorations and for some reason, it always seems to bring out the niceness of people, the generosity and kindness. And I like it when people are nice to me.

So yeah, anyway, Sora's party… every year, Sora throws a Christmas party and it's a blast, we all just drink and laugh and joke and play games and really get in the festive spirit, and then New Years Eve, I throw a party and we all see the new year in together, its been a tradition for years now. And Sora had really gone all out this year. Every year it just seems to get better and better, and this year the decorations and the tree and the general feel of the place was amazing. Tinsel was placed around every photo frame and even on top of the TV. Cards were pinned to the wall and glowing Santa's and singing snowmen littered the mantelpiece, along with a red and a green cotton boot that was stuffed with candy canes. The fire was lit and crackled loudly, making the room cosy and snug and Sora had obviously put some fragrance in the room because it smelt of oranges and spice… just like Christmas. The tree was stunning, full of flashing lights and a little angel sat on top like she owned the damn thing… which I guess she kinda did. There was more tinsel and beads and baubles and little glass icicles hanging from the tree and it all looked so spectacular. More decorations were hung to the wall and ceiling, and even a little gold and red banner that read 'Merry Christmas' above the mirror over the fireplace.

Sora certainly did know how to make the place look all Christmassy. I was impressed.

Everyone was here… and I mean everyone, loads of Sora's friends from college and Riku's friends and people he had met through work and then the usual gang. Demyx with his new best friend Zexion, Riku, Kairi, Ollette, Hayner and Pence, Leon and Cloud (who were doing reasonably well this year, last year they couldn't keep their hands off of each other.) even Yuffie, Tiffa and Sephiroth showed up! Sora's mom, Aerith was in the kitchen making more things to eat and showing everyone where to find the alcohol. She was there every year and even though most people wouldn't be able to get away with having the parents at a party, Sora could… solely because his mom was an absolute angel and a lovely woman. She was also really laid back and easy going. As long as you didn't break anything and throw up on her carpet, she would pretty much let you do whatever you wanted. Plus she made the best food ever! I mean seriously I had tasted a lot of food in the past and Aerith's cooking was just, mwah!

Then my eyes landed on a boy I had never seen before. He was sitting on the sofa beside Zexion and talking and smiling at him warmly and I cocked my head to the side. He had blonde spiky hair and blue eyes, he wore a white tank top and a pair of dark blue fitted jeans, not too tight but not exactly loose either. Sora came over to me and touched my arm, gaining my attention instantly.

"Hey Axel, you wanna beer or something?" I smiled. Sora knew me too well, but that was to be expected really, we were good friends, not best friends and we hadn't really known each other all that long, but we knew each other well enough to be classed as good friends. I nodded my head and he led me to the kitchen. My eyes travelled down to the blonde who was sitting on the sofa as I walked past and his eyes met mine. He gave a small smile before continuing his conversation with Zexion and I continued to follow Sora. I couldn't remember seeing him before, and if he knew Zexion, then he must have known Demyx, who was my best friend… so how come I didn't know him? I mean he and Zexion looked pretty close, and it was just a normal thing for everyone to get to know each other. Plus if Sora knew him, I certainly should have met him before today.

When Sora and I got to the kitchen he handed me a bottle and I touched his arm gently to get his attention. He blinked at me and waited for me to start speaking.

"Who's the blonde sitting with Zexion?" I asked as I sipped the beer Sora had given me. Sora frowned and then thought for a moment before clicking his fingers.

"Oh right yeah, er that's Roxas, he's a friend of mine. We met round about the same time you and I did… maybe just after. Haven't you met him before already?" I shook my head and smiled and Sora hit his forehead.

"Duh, I'm dense! He was meant to have come to my birthday party but he couldn't make it because his mom was sick and he hasn't really been out since. Come on I'll introduce you!" he took me by the wrist and literally dragged me into the living room and stood in front of the blonde. I felt like some stupid kid being forced to talk to someone and was too scared to just go over and say hey to someone by myself. But I knew Sora, this was how he liked to do things and everyone else knew it too, so hopefully no one would think I was some shy school girl.

The blonde was still engrossed in conversation with Zexion and I briefly wondered where Demyx was, those two were usually glued together at the damn hip! Sora cleared his throat and the blonde looked up to Sora, smiling kindly.

"Hey Sora, great party, I'm starting to wish that Christmas came around more often." The blonde said, sipping his bottle and Sora smiled and chuckled.

"Roxas, you were only saying fifteen minutes ago how much Christmas depressed you because you don't like spending your 'hard earned cash on everyone else'." The blonde just shrugged, still smiling and Zexion chuckled.

"I can't say I blame you." The blonde beamed at Sora and snapped his fingers.

"Ha! See! I'm not the only one!" Sora rolled his eyes and shook his head and I smiled. He sounded so young, but surely he couldn't be that young if he was drinking alcohol right? He looked about the same age as Zexion, and he was seventeen.

"Oh by the way I want to introduce you to a friend of mine. This is Axel, Axel this is Roxas, I thought you two had met already but apparently not." Roxas looked at me, still smiling and nodded his head, raising a hand in a small wave.

"Hello." I smiled back and waved once.

"Hey…" things felt awkward, why did things feel awkward? I didn't know but I just knew that I wasn't going to let it carry on this way. I didn't do well in awkward situations. Luckily before I could do something about it, Roxas spoke again and made the whole situation relax slightly.

"So how long have you known Sora for?" Roxas asked me, leaning back in the sofa and placing a finger to his temple in a slightly feminine gesture. I thought about it and Sora and I both looked at each other, trying to figure out exactly how long it had been.

"Erm, gotta have been about five months now." Roxas nodded his head and smiled warmly.

"Same here, only I think it's a little closer to four than five." I felt myself relax slightly and after a small chat about whatever came to our minds, I felt myself relax completely. Roxas wasn't an intimidating and antisocial kid, he was actually really fucking sociable and we just seemed to click.

After three minutes, we were already laughing with each other and Sora headed off to continue entertaining his guests. Roxas, Zexion and I continued to talk and when Demyx walked over to Zexion and threw his arms around the younger teen. Demyx was my age, even though you would never guess it because he acts like a damn five year old sometimes.

"Zexy!! I'm… I'm… I'm a little… woah the room is spinning! Lookie dat!" he pointed out to the decorations on the wall and Roxas watched the mullet haired man with apparent amusement written all over his face. He was trying to stifle a laugh, shaking his head slightly. Zexion's eyes widened and I chuckled. Demyx looked truly intrigued in Sora's Christmas decorations and it was obvious that Zexion was slightly scared. He patted Demyx gently and then stood up.

"Come on you, I think somebody needs to lie down before they break something… like the humorous bone or something." Demyx chuckled.

"But that would be funny! D'ya get it… humorous, funny… it's meant to be… ah never mind!" Zexion rolled his eyes and helped lead Demyx out of the living room towards the front door, bidding goodbye to Sora as he did so. Roxas looked at me and chuckled.

"My god if I get that wrecked call me a taxi and send me home will you?" I chuckled and nodded my head.

"Yeah sure." I replied and Roxas patted the seat beside him.

"Sit down will you, you're making my neck hurt looking up to you like this." I chuckled softly and sat down beside Roxas, who turned to face me, pulling his knees up to his chest and resting his chin on his arms. We continued to talk for a good while, grabbing drinks and the occasional plate of food as we did. We just couldn't seem to find something to not talk about. Even the most random things, we'd talk about for ages, we talked about music, school, work, friends, girls (and boys in my case) past experiences, vegetables, likes and dislikes, sports, concerts… we told jokes and made each other laugh and within an hour and half, we were both totally relaxed in each others company. Roxas had positioned himself in a more comfortable position and was now facing me front on, knees bent and tucked underneath him and leaning against the sofa, arm resting along the back and I sat facing him, leaning against the arm of the chair and talking amiably.

It was the best conversation I had had in ages. We agreed on a lot of things and had shit loads in common and then to make it even better, we disagreed on things too. And it seemed that we both liked to argue our point and try and win the argument. For example, we somehow got onto the topic of Nirvana and (more accurately) Kurt Cobain. The argument was quite simple: Did he kill himself or was he murdered and if so, by whom?

Roxas swore black and blue that his wife killed him and I completely disagreed. We must have talked about that for at least forty minutes, just trying to make each other see the 'right' way. In the end, we agreed to disagree.

"This isn't over you know, you will agree with me." Roxas stated playfully and I laughed and nodded my head.

"Sure thing blondie whatever you say." Roxas smiled more then and shook his head, chuckling lightly.

Half way through another debate, Roxas jumped and then slipped his hand into his pocket and pulled out his mobile, which was vibrating and flashing in his palm. He groaned and sighed.

"Meh it's dad… probably wants to know where the hell I am and what time I'm going to be back." I blinked.

"Don't your parents know you're out?" I asked and Roxas sighed.

"Parent." He corrected, removing the battery from his phone and then slipping them both back into his pocket as he turned to look at me.

"My mom died two months ago… that's why I couldn't make it to Sora's party." I internally kicked myself and gave a sympathetic smile.

"I'm sorry." Roxas smiled.

"It's not your fault, you didn't know. Its getting a little better now but… this is obviously my first Christmas without her here and its going to be so weird and hard." I leaned forward and patted his shoulder for comfort and Roxas looked at me and smiled shaking his head and scoffing slightly.

"It's a good thing I'm not suicidal Axel because if I were you would be the last person I'd come to for comfort." We both laughed hard at that and Roxas continued to talk to me about his mom and Christmas time with his family. It sounded really nice and I felt so sorry for him that he couldn't have it again this year.

We talked all night. Fuck the party we enjoyed each others company and we hadn't ran out of things to talk about… and there hadn't been that awkward silence that says one of you needs to leave now and never return so we kept at it. We had a few more drinks and a bite to eat and by the end of the night, we were both laughing and joking with each other. It must have looked odd because Sora and Riku were standing over the other side of the room giving us strange smiles. I could sort of understand why though. I found it difficult to get on with people straight away, people didn't like my sarcasm and bluntness and I found them boring. But it wasn't like that with Roxas and I was glad that he had come to the party tonight.

When it was time for us all to leave, Roxas and I headed outside and sat down on Sora's porch waiting for our taxi's. Roxas pulled out his phone and clipped the battery back inside, still leaving it turned off.

"Hey Ax, can I use your phone?" I nodded my head and handed him the phone and he smiled and opened it up, pressing in whatever he needed to do.

"I've given you my number OK? Give me a call sometime and we'll hang out." And with that he snapped the phone shut and handed it back to me. I nodded my head and smiled as Roxas got to his feet and headed out to a silver car that was waiting for him, with a big yellow sign that read 'Taxi'. He opened the door and waved back at me.

"See you soon Axel, Merry Christmas." I waved back.

"Merry Christmas Rox."

And that, was the start of mine and Roxas' friendship. That was how we met; at one of Sora's Christmas parties. And I didn't even feel negative anymore. That was by far the best Christmas party ever.

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Year Two… 25th December.

After that day, I didn't get in touch with Roxas for a few weeks. I had no free time to talk or see anyone anyway, not with all the Christmas stuff that I had to try and sort out. Like taking trimmings down and paying off debts and then New Year was coming up. That was when I got in touch with him. I sent him a text message at 12:00am wishing him a happy New Year and asking him how he was. Roxas texted me back and that was it, we were off again. We stayed up until four am talking to each other and catching up and arranged to meet up sometime soon.

"I was certain that I wasn't going to hear from you to be honest, so this is a nice surprise." Roxas chuckled and I smiled and nodded my head. I had decided to call him a couple of hours ago because we were both running low on credit, so now I just had to deal with a super high phone bill instead.

When we finally had the time to meet up, we did and we spent the whole day with each other and then met up again the day after. And that was it, from that day on we were friends and within three months, we were best friends. I had never met anyone quite like him and we both found out so much about each other. We knew quite a bit about each other anyway but more personal stuff like past experiences both good and bad and we just clicked.

It was strange because we were so totally different. Roxas was more polite and well mannered and friendly, he made friends really easy and was a social person. I wasn't really. I mean sure I had friends and everything and got along with certain people but Roxas hit it off with everyone straight away, like it was natural to him. I also had a very small fuse, whereas Roxas could tolerate even the intolerable for hours at a time without batting an eyelid. Even simple things we differed on, but we both shared plenty of things in common too. Like our love for fruit and music and all the good stuff.

So Roxas and I hit it off and we became best friends… good, close friends. It was rare for us to be seen without each other but on this particular day, we had arranged to meet at Sora's house for the usual Christmas party. We had talked only a few days ago and I hadn't heard from him since, I guess that was OK though because I had been so busy with shopping for presents and the usual humdrum that Christmas brings.

I got to Sora's and knocked on the door. Riku opened it and smiled, gesturing for me to come inside and I followed him, receiving a pat on the back from him and a murmured greeting as I got into the hallway.

"Is Roxas here?" I asked, wondering if the blonde had actually turned up early. Riku arched an eyebrow.

"He's the life and soul of the party. I don't know what's wrong with him… he isn't himself Axel." The tone Riku was using oozed concern and I was suddenly very worried. I remembered that Roxas wasn't overly keen on Christmas because it reminded him of his mom, who had died last year on Christmas Eve. It depressed him and he openly admitted it. I sighed softly and headed into the living room and took in the scene before me.

Roxas was drinking. And I mean drinking heavily, his eyes were slightly red and it was obvious that he was slightly drunk. How much had he drunk!? I watched as Roxas downed another shot with a completely pissed Zexion and waved his hand to signal that he wanted a top up. There was a small crowd of people gathering around them, cheering them on and laughing and joking. Zexion shook his head and stood up in defeat and Roxas laughed and shook Zexion's hand giving him a warm pat on the bag and very quick 'man-hug' before staggering to his feet and making the crowd erupt into laughs and more cheers. Roxas looked over to me and gave a small smile and I stared back, shocked at what I was seeing. Roxas wasn't a drinker, he hardly ever had a drink, yet alone got completely plastered. I had known him twelve months to the day and I had never seen him get drunk.

He finally managed to get over to me and I gave a small smile.

"Hey Axshul… 'm you OK?" I blinked and nodded my head, resting my hand on his shoulders and leading him to the sofa, intent on making him sit down and hopefully fall asleep so he can sober up. Roxas batted my hand away.

"No. I dun' wanna shit down. I… I wanna 'nother dwink!" he turned from me and stumbled into the kitchen and I shook my head. Jesus fucking Christ I knew that Roxas had a hard time dealing with Christmas and everything but that was no excuse. Now if he had have gotten pissed last year, then fair enough because it was his first year without his mom, but Roxas didn't really seem that affected by it usually. And I thought he was wrong.

I headed into the brightly lit kitchen to see Roxas sitting on the counter, a bottle of whiskey in his hand as he swigged from the bottle greedily. I frowned and approached him, snapping the bottle from his clumsy hands and fixing him with a stern frown. Roxas looked at me saddened and reached forward for the bottle.

"No! Gimme back!" he fell from the counter and somehow managed to land on his feet, falling back against the counter and gripping the sides tightly to try and steady himself. His eyes locked on to the ground and I saw him swallow hard before he looked up at me. I hated Roxas like this. He looked so sad, so sad and lost and I just wanted to hug him and kiss him and make him feel better.

Yes that's right, I liked Roxas. Over the last three months my feelings for Roxas, my best friend had changed completely. I found him physically attractive, I mean I always thought that Roxas was a good looking kid, but recently… wow.

His beautiful blonde and soft hair, his gorgeous cerulean eyes, and the fucking breathtaking smile… it had really been getting to me. I hadn't even been able to escape him in my dreams… because Roxas was the star in most of them. And damn it when I woke up in the morning I freaking knew about it! I wasn't exactly sure when it happened and what changed, what made me see him differently and look at him as more of a potential boyfriend as oppose to best friend. I only knew when I realised it.

We were lying in Roxas' garden, looking up at the starry night sky and talking and when I looked at him, I realised just how damn beautiful he was and that ladies and gentlemen, is when I realised that I liked Roxas. With his dark eyes twinkling and his skin looking paler than usual, arms placed above his head and his chest rising and falling as he breathed steadily. It was like someone had just whacked me around the head and shouted 'Hey Axel this kid is more to you than just a friend and you fucking know it!'

So to see him like this now, red eyes… no; red, sad eyes. Like he was crying out to me, like he was lost and needed help finding his way back to wherever he was going and I was the only one around to help him. Like I was the only one who could help him and he needed me more than ever and I just couldn't do anything about it. I shook my head and licked my lips.

"Roxas… what's wrong? Seriously this is so out of character for you?" Roxas glowered at me slightly and shook his head, scowling and then smacking my hand away.

"Shut the fuck up I'm fine." He told me in a semi-serious tone. He tried to stumble away and I grabbed his arm firmly, making him wince and turn around. He glared at my arm for a few seconds as if he were trying to hurt it without touching me so I'd let him go and then he looked at me.

"No Roxas, you're not fine. What is it what's wrong? Come on you know we don't have secrets from each other." Roxas screwed his face up and shook his head, yanking his arm away aggressively.

"I shed its nothin' Axshel so jus' back off n' leave me alone!" and without another word he turned and left, I stood flabbergasted for a second before leaving the kitchen, placing the whiskey on the counter as I did so. I immediately set about searching for Roxas. He wasn't in the living room, and there was no way I was searching the whole house looking for the little shit. I licked my lips and headed over to Demyx, who was sitting on the sofa nursing a very drunk Zexion.

"Have you seen Roxas?" I asked and Demyx nodded his head.

"Yeah he just went outside, looks like he's had a little too much to drink. Is he OK?" I shrugged and shook my head.

"Who knows. See you in a bit." Demyx saluted me and I turned and headed towards the back garden where Demyx had pointed. I looked outside and squinted, unable to make out Roxas' figure and then slid the door open and closed it behind me, blocking out the loud music and chants of 'chug' and laughter. I glanced around Sora's massive garden. I swear to god the garden was bigger than his house! What with all the flowers and bushes and ponds… it was crazy. I noticed Roxas sitting on Sora's swinging sofa chair… thing. You know those things you have in the garden? Yeah, one of those. I walked over to him and sat beside him silently, waiting for him to start talking.

After about five minutes, Roxas sighed, he didn't seem as agitated now and a lot less drunk. Guess the fresh air must have sobered him up or something.

"Ollette left me. She's not interested anymore." I blinked and frowned. He had been dating Ollette for the last seven months and I thought that things were fine between them. Apparently not.

"Why?" I asked softly. Roxas just shrugged.

"I don't know. Maybe she finally decided to give Pence a chance or something. I don't know, I just know that apparently she doesn't feel how she did when we very first started going out and she thinks we should break up. All the usual bullshit. I actually laughed when she threw the whole 'its not you, its me' line." That explained a lot. Roxas really liked Ollette, and he had done a lot for that girl over the last seven months. He had ditched me, went to hers when she was sad at three o clock in the morning, given her money to help her out, spoil her rotten; you name it he had done it. I shook my head.

"Well I know it's not what you wanna hear, but you're better off without her Rox, you can do so much better…" Roxas nodded his head and smiled softly.

"Well at least you tried a little harder than Sora. The best he could say was 'at least you can take her present back and get a full refund!' ha. Some friend huh?" I felt bad for Roxas then. Just once I'd like for him to have a good Christmas. A proper nice Christmas with no drama and no hurt.

"Sora was probably just trying to cheer you up Rox, you know what he's like." Roxas nodded his head and sighed.

"I know. I'm sorry for being such an ass… I just… don't understand." I could see Roxas' eyes fill with tears and I suddenly wanted to stab Ollette. I placed a hand to Roxas' back and rubbed softly and when I saw a tear trickle down his cheek I couldn't stop myself from doing what I did. I wrapped an arm around his shoulders and gently pulled him to me, wrapping another arm around him and hugging him warmly, gently stroking his arm and scratching lightly at his scalp. Roxas didn't even resist, instead he let out a shaky sigh and moved closer to me, clutching onto the fabric of my shirt and burying his head into my chest. I shook my head slightly.

"Don't let her upset you Roxas. Trust me you'll find someone better than her." Roxas silently nodded his head and I squeezed him in reassurance. Roxas copied my action and then let out a content sigh.

"Mmm, you're so warm." I chuckled and nodded my head.

"Yeah I'm like some sort of radiator." Roxas chuckled and looked up at me, sitting up properly so we were more eye level and smiled.

"I'm glad I met you Axel. You're the best friend anyone could ever ask for." I smiled and rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, I know." He hit my arm playfully and we both chuckled slightly. Roxas looked so gorgeous right then. He was back to his normal sober self and he looked happier than earlier.

I looked at Roxas and reached forward, brushing a stray piece of hair out of his face and letting my fingers slightly drag across his cheek. Roxas smiled and reached up, taking my hand in his and then pressing his lips to my fingers for a long moment. When he pulled away he looked at me, a small smile on his face and I felt my stomach tighten slightly.

"I'd be lost without you Ax." And with that he moved closer and wrapped both arms around my neck and hugged me again. I hugged him back and knew then that I had to do something about my predicament… I had to tell Roxas how I felt. It was now or never, make or break. I couldn't go on like this being his best friend when I wanted to be so much more.

"Roxas…" I started. Roxas looked at me, letting his hands drop to his lap and he nodded once.

"Yeah?" he replied. I licked my lips and took in a short breath, trying to calm my nerves, why the hell did I feel like a damn school girl again!?

"I really like you." I told him and he smiled and shook his head.

"Well that's lucky then, because I'd be really pissed off if you were just pretending to be my friend and like me for twelve months…"

"No… I mean… I really like you." Roxas just stared at me blankly for a few seconds and then I rolled my eyes, growing impatient. Damn it when did he get so dense? I rubbed my forehead. He was making this harder than what it needed to be.

"OK, how about I show you what I mean?" Roxas shrugged and nodded his head.

"Sure OK." I felt my stomach tighten at the thoughts running through my mind and swallowed, licking my suddenly dry lips.

"Promise not to wallop me one?" Roxas laughed and nodded his head.

"Yeah sure. I promise." I watched Roxas for a moment, taking in his composure and trying to figure out if he was telling the truth or not and when I discovered he was waiting for me to do something, I wasted no time in leaning forward and pressing my lips against his gently. Neither of us moved for a moment and I felt Roxas stiffen slightly so made sure I didn't try and take things further until his mind had processed what was going on.

I felt Roxas' body relax and felt his hand gently reach up and rest on my shoulder and when he didn't push me away, I started to kiss him; moving my lips against Roxas' in slow and gentle motions and successfully coaxing him into joining the kiss. He openly participated, moving his own lips against mine and his fingers on my shoulder tightened slightly. I reached up and gently cupped his neck, bringing him a little closer and stroking his cheek with my thumb, causing the smaller blonde to jump and gasp slightly. But he didn't relent, he actually threw himself further into it resting his other hand on my waist and gently scraping his fingers along my shirt. I took full advantage of Roxas' slightly open mouth and gently but swiftly pressed my tongue against his, massaging the muscle and delighting in the small whimper the blonde gave from the action.

I couldn't believe exactly what was going on. I couldn't believe I was kissing Roxas and even more so, he was kissing me back! It was the most unlikely thing I would have expected him to do at that moment in time, but I guess he's just full of surprises.

Roxas' hand slipped round to the nape of my neck and I felt him pull me a little closer. I smiled slightly against his lips and then slowly pulled away, unsure of how Roxas was going to react to what we had just done and dreading finishing the kiss. But it had to be done sooner or later, and sooner or later both of us would need to face the fact that we had just made out.

We both locked eyes with each other and Roxas swallowed and then licked his lips, slowly releasing his grip on my neck and moving his hands back to his lap. I noted the faint tint of pink across his cheeks and he troubled his bottom lip for a moment. The silence was awkward and I didn't like it, it was the first one we had ever encountered with each other and it was unusual and… well awkward.

"Axel…" I took a deep breath and released it, expecting him to tell me that that must never happen again and it was just a big mistake. He was going to tell me that he just did it because he felt bad about Ollette and then he'd probably get angry at me for taking advantage… shit I really didn't think this through very well did I?

"Is… is that what you meant? When you said..?" I nodded my head.

"Yeah. I've liked you for a while now and I just… I don't know." Roxas smiled softly and lowered his head slightly, nodding slightly.

"Its alright, you don't need to try and explain. I just… wanted to know." I swallowed hard, worried that maybe Roxas was going to walk away at any given moment and not talk to me ever again, or at least for a very long time.

"You're freaked out right?" I asked and he shook his head.

"Actually, no, just shocked. You should have said something to me sooner." His voice was gentle almost as if he were going to dump me! It was unnerving and really strange.

"Why so you could make fun?" I teased and Roxas smiled more and shook his head.

"I wouldn't do that, silly." And without much more warning, Roxas leaned forward again, planting his lips onto mine. I was completely taken aback by his actions and faltered for a few seconds before copying Roxas and started to kiss him back. Wow, that I wasn't expecting. Roxas just kissed me, of his own accord! Wow! What does that mean? He likes me too right?

The kiss wasn't as long as the first and when Roxas pulled away he lay casually against the cushion and sighed softly. I didn't know what to do or say so I just sat there in silence, contemplating everything that had just happened and been said and trying to figure out where I stood.

"So… you're not mad?" Roxas shook his head and rested his head against my shoulder, an action he did a lot when he was tired. I smiled slightly and raised my arm, letting Roxas rest his head more comfortably and he shuffled closer. I let my arm rest casually behind his neck and Roxas reached up and gripped the tip of my fingers, holding my hand lightly.

"No I'm not mad Axel." There was another few moments of awkward silence before Roxas spoke up, eyebrows furrowing slightly as if he were trying to figure something out.

"So… does this mean that we're… together then?" he asked, puzzlement written all over his face. I smiled and gripped his hand a little tighter. Neither of us could bring ourselves to make eye contact with each other because we both knew exactly how it would turn out. We'd try and play it off as a joke to each other because it was probably the simplest and easiest thing to do. And I didn't want it to be a joke, stealing a quick glance at Roxas from the corner of my eye I realised that he was being just as serious about this as I was.

"I think I'd like that." I replied quieter than what I intended and Roxas smiled and licked his lips, fingers tightening slightly and then softly running over my own as he held my hand.

"Yeah… me too."

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Year Three… 25th December.

"Bastard!!" I quickly moved to the side and ducked as a china plate came whirling towards my head. I looked back to the thrower of the object with total shock and apparent concern written across my features. The figure before me stood, flushed from sheer anger and shaking as though they were having some sort of seizure. I had never seen Roxas so furious in all his life.

His fists were clenched at his sides and his breathing was shaky and he looked like he was about to kill me. Not that I could blame him really. This last year had been hard enough on us as it was, and I was just making things harder, especially the last few months.

"You complete and utter bastard!!" he screamed, voice louder than I had ever heard, it was deafening. I decided there and then that I didn't like to hear Roxas shout, not just at me but at all. Especially when he had that undertone in his voice… his voice was mixed. Anger overpowered the majority of it but when he spoke, you could still hear the hurt in his voice, the hurt and sadness and complete and total heartbreak… and it killed me to know that I was the cause of the Roxas before me now.

I was the reason he was mad, I was the reason he was upset… I was the reason for this outburst. Jesus I'm such a bastard.

I turned to Roxas and held up my hands as if to try and ward off a rabid dog, feeling very nervous suddenly. Because despite popular belief that due to his size Roxas was a pushover, he really wasn't. He could hurt someone really bad if the mood suited him, and right now; the mood suited him perfectly. When we had been play fighting before I had been shocked by his strength and the fact that we were both pretty equally matched; until Roxas used his size to his advantage and threw his whole body weight at me… then I generally lost. So right now, I was kinda scared for my well being as well as Roxas', he looked like he was going to explode and have a mental breakdown every second that ticked by.

"OK, Roxie just calm…"

"DON'T call me Roxie! And don't even THINK of finishing off that sentence!" I lowered my head slightly and sighed, running a hand through my hair. One of my nervous habits, it was also something Roxas did a lot when he was pissed off or really upset. No surprise then that he had done it several times whilst we had been talking not five minutes ago.

I could see the tears in Roxas' eyes; I could see the hurt underneath the hard shell of sheer anger. How he was not punching the shit out of me right now I will never know because if I were him, I would have lost it. But I knew I wouldn't have been able to hit Roxas, I loved him just too much. And I knew he loved me too, which is why this was hurting him so much.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, shaking my head. My god I was so fucking stupid! Roxas was the best thing that had ever happened to me and I knew it, I also had a sneaky suspicion that Roxas felt the same way even though he would never admit it; and yet I still went and hurt him like this. It was something I swore I would never do, I swore to myself and I made a promise to Roxas that I would never hurt him like how others had in his life. I would never hit him, or cheat on him, or drive him away or become so unbearable that he had no choice but to leave. I'd never leave him alone and make him live with spiders, or hold snakes or say he couldn't have a puppy or anything. But I'd clearly broke at least one of those promises… because he was hurt, and he was hurt more than I had ever seen.

"How could you do that Axel? I mean after the rollercoaster ride year we've had why the fuck would you want to go and make it worse?!" I heard Roxas' voice break on the last word and it was the most heart wrenching thing I had ever heard. I thought hearing him sad was bad, I thought hearing him cry was even worse, but hearing him so utterly overcome with emotion that he couldn't even talk was unreal.

And Roxas was right. Since last year everything had happened. We had got together for starters, and it was incredibly. I loved every second of it in the first two or three months. We told close friends only that we were seeing each other. And we pretty much told them straight away. I mean it might have been a little obvious anyway when we were walking around arm in arm or hand in hand. But apparently nobody knew until we told them. Sora was the first person we trusted to tell. And he took it really well, he seemed happy enough for us and when we told Riku, he just rolled his eyes and I'm sure I heard him mutter a 'finally' as he smiled at us.

However it wasn't all a bed of fucking roses and we figured that out the hard way. When we started to let other people know after the first couple of months, it all went from great to bad to worse. Roxas' best friend, Hayner, was completely against it for example. He and Roxas had a huge fight about it and I don't really know all of what happened because Roxas refuses to tell me, I just know that they had a massive fight, some hurtful words were exchanged and Hayner told Roxas that he wanted nothing more to do with him. Roxas hasn't seen Hayner since. The asshole.

Other people such as Ollette and Pence and Kairi thought it was a bad idea, there were about ten people who didn't think it was a good idea for us to be together, though not one of them could really give a valid reason. I think that the only decent reason came from Leon, who made a point that it would end in tears, mostly with Roxas being the one crying because of the way I was. I couldn't really argue with that but we had done pretty damn well. It was everyone else who was causing the fucking trouble! If they were to just fuck off and leave us alone then we'd be great, but people have a tendency to poke their noses into other peoples business.

Other people literally tried to split us up. Starting rumours and twisting thing. It had caused a lot of arguments between me and Roxas. I didn't fully understand what everyone's damn problem was! I mean seriously when they saw us together then we were great, and we were; Roxas and I just worked well together and if I saw someone who worked well together like how me and Roxas did, I wouldn't be trying to cause shit for them. Sora aptly named us the 'cutest couple of the century' or something like that. So why all the bitterness and scheming? The amount of times Roxas and I had argued because one of us had heard something and confronted the other about it and then things had kicked off was unreal. Usually we'd argue and then one of us would walk off and just sit on our own for a few hours, then we'd make up. Which was always the best part of any argument.

Don't get me wrong our relationship wasn't sex based, as in at all. We hadn't got that far yet. Roxas was a little unsure about it and nervy and everything so I just said that I'd wait, it wasn't like I didn't have a perfectly working right hand, right?

So yes I know it sounds strange, we've been together a year to the day and we haven't had sex yet. But it's not all that bad really, it doesn't me much, though I think it plays on Roxas' mind a little too much.

"I didn't plan it Roxas. It was a stupid fucking mistake, honest." I pleaded, trying my hardest to convince the blonde and maybe get him to calm down.

"What, you think that because you were pissed it excuses you? Well think again! Fucking hell..!" Roxas ran his hand through his hair and shook his head, growing tired. He looked so emotionally drained it was unreal. I just wanted to hug him and kiss him and make him feel better. But I knew better than to even attempt it because the mood Roxas was in, he would probably punch me. And I couldn't blame him.

"Rox… please, let's just sit down and, and talk this through." Roxas scoffed, a bitter smile crossing his features. He looked so pissed off.

"Yeah Axel lets sit and talk about how you fucked somebody else because you decided to go to your friends party and get completely fucked. Both literally and…"

"Roxas… please, it wasn't like that OK. I didn't go out intending on sleeping with someone. It just kinda…" but Roxas wasn't listening, his arms were folded across his chest and he was lost in his own thoughts.

"Doesn't even matter that the person you slept with just so happened to be my FUCKING EX!!" Roxas exploded, fists clenching again and he glared at me with smouldering eyes. He looked furious, and really I couldn't say that I blamed him. But that wasn't how it happened. Yes I slept with Ollette, but it wasn't like I went out with the idea in my mind.

I was invited to Demyx's party, and I knew Demyx really well, and knew he threw great parties. I had asked Roxas to come but the poor kid had had to work so he had told me to go and have fun for him. I felt terrible leaving him to work while I was out at a party but I had promised Demyx that I would go so I did. At first I just thought about Roxas, wondering if he would maybe pop in after he had finished work or something but knew that he'd probably just have a bath and go to bed. Then I had a few drinks, and a few drinks turned into more than a few and everyone at the party was already pretty pissed…

Next thing I knew my lips were glued to somebody else's.

I don't remember sleeping with Ollette. I just remember waking up the next morning in somebody else's bed, naked, lying next to a girl… who was also naked. So I remembered kissing the girl and now we woke up naked together, I just put two and two together and came to the conclusion that I had slept with her. When I looked at her and realised it was Ollette, I was instantly reminded of Roxas and I threw up. I felt fucking awful to say the least and when Ollette tried to talk to me, I literally pushed her away and I was freaking out. It was obvious.

I had just cheated on Roxas, and not just with anyone, but with the one girl I hate who just so happens to be his ex.

I had left it for a week, but I had distanced myself from Roxas even more than usual. The last seven or eight months had been hard on us. What with friends being assholes and parents being even worse. Because you see, we had told our parents about each other, yeah… bad move.

When Roxas told his father, then that was just the icing on the cake for him really. You see, Roxas had had a little sister that had died when she was born, then on top of that Roxas' mother had died just two years ago, and now, his only son has told him he's gay and he has a boyfriend. He didn't take it too well and it caused a massive argument between Roxas and his father. He was pretty much ordering Roxas to leave me but Roxas doesn't do well with orders, nobody orders him to do anything and he told his father to fuck off (in nicer words). So Roxas' father had pretty much disowned him, saying he didn't want to know his son when he was a 'faggot', but that was fine by Roxas. So he packed up his stuff and had moved in with me and we had been living quite happily together since.

And then my parents weren't exactly happy with it either so we both moved out from my house and got our own place. It wasn't much, just a little flat but it was nice and it was our home and neither of us had to be worried. We didn't have to be worried that our parents would come in and catch us together and cause an argument, we didn't have to worry about people randomly coming in while we were making out or something. It was nice.

So when all the shit had started, it immediately put a massive strain on mine and Roxas' relationship. And I'll be honest, there were a few times where I thought we weren't going to make it, when we'd end up splitting up or something. And over the last few months, I knew we had both been making things even more awkward for us. We would start arguments over the most simplest things and hold grudges for days. We'd do things that we knew annoyed each other just to start a fight. When we made up one time, Roxas asked me what was going on and I kissed his forehead.

"We're just going through a rough patch, it'll get better."

"I hate arguing with you so why are we picking fights?" I shook my head because I had no idea. We were both just so frustrated and pissed off with families and friends and life in general that we were taking it out on each other. Probably because we spent the most time together and we were closer and they do say you always hurt the ones you love. But that didn't make it OK and we both knew it. So for me to go and do something stupid like this, was fucking idiotic. But we pulled through everything anybody threw at us and that just made our relationship stronger and better. So in all honesty I wasn't really worried about the argument now, I just felt terrible about it.

"Roxas please, just listen to me." I whispered, trying desperately to get him to listen to what I had to say.

"What else could you have to say? You fucked Ollette, end of conversation. Unless of course you're going to tell me that you invited in a third party? Why not just put the icing on the cake and say that you asked my best friend to join in?" I scowled at Roxas, growing impatient. Yes I was in the wrong, and yes Roxas had every right to be angry and say those things and much more… I just didn't want him to and I didn't like it.

"No. Roxas." I stated firmly. Roxas just shrugged carelessly.

"Well, that settles it then." He said his voice surprisingly calm and not even sarcastic. Just like he was talking normally only with a slight hint of agitation. There was silence for a moment as I prepared myself for another onslaught but nothing came. Roxas just lowered his head and walked past me, heading into the bedroom, closing the door with a soft click behind him. I ran a hand through my hair and let out a long deep breath. Well that could have gone a hell of a lot better.

When Roxas emerged from the bedroom I looked at him, knowing that we were ready to make up. Because this was how it went all the time, we argued, we left each other alone and then we'd make up. So needless to say I was completely taken aback when I saw Roxas standing there with a very full duffel bag in toll. I stared at the bag and then looked at Roxas, who looked straight back at me, eyes cold and emotionless.

"Roxas…" I whispered, my tone telling him I was confused as to what was going on.

"I'm going to Sora's. I've already called him to make sure its OK." My eyes nearly popped out of my head when he said those words.

"What?! What no you're not, you live here Roxas. What are you doing?" Roxas stared at me, not giving away what he was really feeling or anything of the sort.

"I'm leaving Axel. I can't… no… I don't want to stay here with you." His tone was calm but firm and I felt my heart start to hurt. My eyes immediately filled with tears and there was a tightening in my stomach followed by a sudden sickness. My usually warm body went freezing cold and I felt clammy and suddenly, very, very scared. I felt like I couldn't catch my breath and I felt my body start to shake. What the hell was going on? When Roxas and I had argued before, neither of us had ever left, not even for a night to cool off. This was stupid!

"Roxas we've argued before, let's just do what we usually do and just sit and talk things through." Roxas shook his head.

"No Axel, I don't want to. I want to leave." Those words cut into me like a sharp knife would cut through butter. It hurt. It hurt me so much to think that Roxas couldn't stand to be around me, to think that he didn't want to be with me anymore.

"When will you be back?" I asked, feeling my voice start to give way on me. Roxas just shrugged and shook his head.

"I don't think I will be coming back Axel. I can't, stay with someone who's a fucking cheater. I know I can do better for myself than that." I shook my head and tried to reach out to him, begging him and telling him it was a mistake but Roxas just stepped back, looking at my hands as though they had cooties or something.

"Don't… touch me… ever again." I shook my head in disbelief and felt the tears start to roll down my cheeks.

"Roxas please." I whispered, my voice not able to handle anything above a whisper in my desperation. Roxas just looked at me and shook his head.

"Merry fucking Christmas, Axel." Roxas hissed, his eyes suddenly angered again and he adjusted the strap on his shoulder before turning and heading for the door. I called out to him several times, my voice getting louder with every time I called his name, my desperation level peaking along with all my other emotions. My sadness, confusion, heartbreak, bitterness and anger… everything I could feel I felt at that moment in time. I was angry Roxas was leaving, but mostly I was angry at myself for causing it.

This was the first time either of us had left the other over an argument, over anything. I walked to the bedroom and opened the wardrobe, finding that all of Roxas' clothes were gone, I checked the drawers and there were only a few pairs of jeans left in them along with a couple of pairs of trainers around the room. He'd taken his personal belongings and the majority of his clothes. Roxas had really left.

I sat on the bed and cried and cried hard. Probably not the best thing in the world to do as the pillow still smelled like Roxas and every time I breathed I could smell him. I hurt. Physically my stomach and chest hurt and my eyes were stinging from crying so hard. I was finding it hard to catch my breath and I just didn't know what to do.

I wanted Roxas back, but the likelihood of that happening looked highly impossible.

In the distance I could hear a small choir singing Christmas carols. Their melodic voices seemed to echo throughout the whole flat, amplifying its sheer emptiness. And it did feel empty already. It felt like a shell. An echo chamber reflecting and repeating past memories of the place and making each memory as louder than the last, and each one hurt twice as much.

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Year Four… 25th December.

Last year, was the worst year of my life. Without a shadow of a doubt. Roxas left me, I spent Christmas on my own and mine and Roxas' relationship was constantly on the rocks. This year things improved dramatically. Roxas and I got back together, on New Years Eve… kinda. It's complicated…

I called Roxas at about eight thirty New Years Eve, and he answered the phone, (which I told him later on actually surprised me and he said he just didn't think, he just flipped it open).

"Hello?"

"Hey Roxas it's me… Axel." Silence. A silence so awkward I wished that I could go back in time to that Christmas when Roxas and I kissed. We thought that that was awkward, so needless to say that this was even worse!

"I figured. Why are you calling me?" I sighed. It was obvious that he was still pissed off with me and to be perfectly honest I really couldn't blame him that much. I had completely ruined things for the both of us. I remember the time me and Roxas got together, I really wished that he could just have a nice normal Christmas. And so far, I have failed to give him that, because I slept with his ex.

"I just wanted to talk Roxas; I've missed you so much. How was your Christmas?" I knew that it wasn't the best thing in the world to ask but it was a start.

"How do you think Axel?" I sighed. This was going to be hard but I'd be damned if I just sit back and let the kid fade out of my life. No way. We talked for a while, Roxas giving me his catty comments and I let him. He had to get it off his chest and out of his system otherwise we would never be able to be friends again. And I desperately wanted us to be so much more than that so I let him have his digs and his nasty comments and I took it and tried to explain.

That night we stayed on the phone all night. He was at a party with his friends and I remember him telling me that he might go and sleep with some random girl when he gets pissed. Man that hurt. Just the thought of Roxas doing something like that when we weren't even together hurt me, so I can't even begin to imagine how he must have felt when I told him. I guess it was my fault for saying something but when I asked him if he would have preferred me to stay quiet he replied with a simple 'No, I'm glad you told me because if it proves one thing then it proves you're honest.'

"So you can trust me right?" I asked, pushing my luck a little.

"I don't know Axel. Trust isn't given its earned…"

"But how can I earn your trust back if you won't give me a chance Roxie. All I want is another chance. I want a chance to prove to you that I can get this right and I want to prove it to everybody else who fucking caused so much shit for us last year! I want to be with you Roxas." There was another silence and Roxas sighed heavily into the receiver.

"How do I know that you're not going to just, do it again. You have no idea how much that hurt Axel. I felt like you were going to somebody else for your pleasures because I wasn't ready to." My jaw dropped.

"What! No Roxas, no! OK that's just… no. You're wrong baby I tried to tell you but you just wouldn't listen!" I could suddenly understand why Roxas had taken it so bad. I mean finding out that your partner has cheated on you is bad enough… but then they sleep with a girl… and it happens to be your partners ex… and you two haven't been having sex… it kinda mounted up and made Roxas feel totally insecure. I felt like an ass all over again.

We talked all night right up until the countdown to New Years Day.

"I feel bad because I've kept you away from your party all night." I joked and I could hear Roxas' smile.

"It was for a good cause."

Boing…

"I just had to talk to you Rox. You have no idea how much I've missed you."

Boing…

"I might have some idea…" Roxas' voice was soft and quiet and I nearly missed what he said. But I heard it and it made me smile. He was missing me too I knew it. You can't just turn your feelings for someone off just like that. It's just not possible.

Boing…

"Yeah?" I asked, slight disbelieving in my voice.

"Yeah." Roxas clarified and I smiled and let a small sigh out.

Boing… Boing… Boing…

"Roxas?"

"Yeah?" I held my breath and swallowed hard, petrified of being rejected by him again.

Boing… Boing… Boing…

"I love you." My voice was quiet and I could feel the nerves start to kick in. what if he told me to fuck off and it would never happen ever again? What if he says yes? What if he told me he hated me and wished he had never even met me… but what if he says yes…

Boing…

"I love you too."

Boing…

And that was solid clarification that things between us were good again. We stayed on the phone for pretty much the rest of the night, and within half an hour, the conversation took an interesting turn and resulted in… some very interesting conversations, mostly about what we would do to each other if we were with each other right now. Man I got so hot it was unreal and when Roxas finally hung up, I had to have a cold, cold shower to calm myself down. Not that it mattered that much because, oh my god, Roxas was a horny bastard and had pretty openly jacked off whilst talking to me over the phone.

My mind came to several conclusions that night. That this year was going to be so much better than last. That Roxas was a sexy horny bastard who enjoyed phone sex and sounded so fucking hot when he comes. And thirdly, it sucked that I wasn't there to witness it.

And this year was so much better than last. Roxas and I were hardly arguing, we were together and happy and ignoring all the apparent rumours and everything that everyone was causing and most people had stopped trying to cause trouble by now anyway. Sexually things between Roxas and I had remained the same or pretty much and everyone who was OK with us being together thought that I had the patience of a fucking saint. Theoretically we had been together for two years now, only had one major argument and still, no sex. I mean it was fine for us to jack ourselves off… which was kinda lucky really. But Roxas never did anything like that when I was around, probably because he knew I would probably have just jumped him if I ever saw him doing something that damn sexy.

It gave my mind something interesting to think about though. All the 'I wonders' running through my mind… god I get turned on just thinking about some of them. I was sitting in the living room to our flat, setting up something special for Roxas. In all honesty I don't think I had fully forgiven myself for the shitty Christmas Roxas had had last year, knowing it was my fault and everything and I wanted to make sure that this year, his Christmas was perfect.

That morning, we had woken up together and I had made him a small something to eat in bed and then had blindfolded him. Roxas protested greatly and I just chuckled.

"Trust me, yeah. Just relax." Roxas let out a disgruntled sigh and folded his arms over his chest. Roxas really was such a kid sometimes, even now. He still sulked, still pouted (which looked incredibly cute) and still wore pyjamas for bed. And he got just as excited on Christmas day as I did. This year, I made it special. Roxas hasn't got a clue about anything I've gotten them and I asked Sora to keep the presents at his house until early Christmas morning. So while Roxas slept, I snuck round to Sora's and got the presents, turned off all the big lights and put on the Christmas lights instead, making sure not one was unlit and then put all of Roxas' presents under the tree. Roxas was gutted Christmas Eve when he went to bed with nothing to look at and get all excited over, but this was so much better.

I led him to the living room and told him he could take off the blindfold and his face was just a picture. His eyes widened and his jaw dropped and his whole face lit up, a massive smile on his lips and tears in his eyes.

"Oh my god!" he exclaimed and I smiled when he threw his arms around me excitedly and kissed me madly. It was the best feeling in the world, seeing him so fucking happy like that. Neither of us wasted any time in opening up the presents and by the time we were through, it was starting to get light outside. I had woke Roxas up at six in the morning, while it was still dark outside so the lights would look even more gorgeous and by about half seven, all the presents were open and the sun was starting to rise. We tidied up the mess and then I set about getting the Christmas dinner ready.

Roxas received a text message from Sora, wishing everyone a merry Christmas and then several others came through straight away, Roxas' phone vibrated in his hand for five minutes solid until it had finished receiving all the texts and then Roxas opened his phone.

"Sora, Riku, Zexion, Demyx, Kairi, Cloud, Leon, Sephiroth, Marluxia, Pence, Ollette, your mom and you dad, Reno, Wakka, Tidus, Namine, Tiffa, Yuffie, Kadaj, Loz and Yazoo all wish us a merry Christmas." I laughed hard at that as Roxas snapped his phone shut.

Christmas dinner was Christmas dinner. Pulling of crackers, (Christmas ones) and eating of good food, pudding and then Christmas cake and drinking a little wine. Listening to the queen's speech and whatever the old biddy had to say. Roxas cracked me up.

"Why is she on again? She comes on every fucking year, saying all this shit and people think that because its Christmas then they'll listen to it and believe what she says because she means it! She doesn't, that's just what she wants you to think. I swear to god nobody should be able to live that long. She's more wrinkled than a prune!!" he had me in stitches throughout the whole damn speech.

Our friends came round to see us and Sora and Roxas had a private conversation which I was a little intrigued in. they were talking fine on e minute and then Sora looked sad and then he looked disappointed… then Roxas said something and he looked bright and happy and downright evil! Man that kid had mood changes. We all sat down and opened more presents off each other and Sora blushed furiously when he opened the one off Roxas, whereas Riku just cocked an eyebrow suggestively at the bondage belt. Roxas laughed and I bit my lip to stop myself from saying something I would likely regret. Sora blushed and turned to Roxas.

"Roxas!!" he just threw his head back and laughed loudly, tittering to himself and Riku smiled and winked at Sora, which just made him laugh harder.

"Ooh, something new and fun to play with later on Sora." Riku teased and I swear the brunette turned the colour of my hair. We weren't actually sure whether Riku and Sora was a couple or not. Whenever anybody asked, they would just look at each other and Riku would smile and say that they were just good friends. Sora would flush and Riku would roll his eyes and yet sometimes, they acted so much like me and Roxas it was scary. I thought they were boning each other and Roxas was sure of it too but they just wouldn't put us out of our misery and tell us what was going on.

When everybody left, Roxas smiled at me.

"We're not going to Sora's party tonight. I wanna stay in and spend the whole of Christmas with you. That OK?" I smiled and nodded my head, wrapping my arms around his waist and kissing him gently.

"Mhm. No problem." I replied and Roxas smiled and reached up, kissing me again. When he pulled away he looked out of the window and smiled widely, running over and pointing.

"Axel! It's snowing!" he exclaimed and I frowned and cocked an eyebrow, walking over to the window and looking out of it to find that Roxas wasn't hallucinating. I couldn't remember the last time it had snowed on Christmas day and it was pretty deep already. Roxas jumped up and down excitedly and then grabbed my wrists, yanking me into the bedroom and pulling out scarves and gloves and hats and big coats.

"What are you doing?" I asked and he smiled.

"I wanna go to the park, come on Ax please!" he begged and I just couldn't say no. We walked together hand in hand through the snowflakes and Roxas looked so beautiful, he looked up at the snow and smiled widely and blinked when a flake landed on his blonde lashes. When we got to the park, we had a snowball fight and Roxas made a snow angel and then we set about making a snowman. We took pictures on our phone and then ended up having another fight.

Roxas shoved a handful of snow down my top and I decided to get him back, tackling him to the ground and straddling the younger boy. He struggled and nearly overpowered me twice until I reached down and tickled his sides, one of his sensitive spots and he fell back to the ground with a soft crunch.

"Quits! Quits! Quits!" he cried and I cocked an eyebrow and smiled.

"Not even close." I whispered gripping both of his hands in one of my own and taking a handful of snow and pushing it in his face and hair. His cheeks tinted red and he closed his eyes, shaking the tiny droplets of frozen water from him and then blew them away.

"Bastard." He muttered and I smiled and leaned forward, closing the distance between our lips and kissing him passionately. I released Roxas' arms and he lazily draped them around my neck. The kiss grew deeper, more passionate and when my hands slipped underneath Roxas' clothes and glided across his hot stomach and waist I felt the muscles tighten and he gasped loudly.

"Ah! That's… cold…" he ground out and I smiled and moved to his neck, kissing and nipping gently, letting my frozen hands roam further up to his chest, teasing his nipples and making him arch against me and groan softly against my ear. I never wore gloves, they irritated my skin and I was generally warm enough anyway. When Roxas arched against me again, our dicks rubbed against each other ripping groans from both of our throats and Roxas let himself fall back down to the snow.

"Wont be doing that again in a hurry will you?" I teased and he stuck his tongue out at me. I sighed and sat up, pushing myself to my feet and helping the blonde to his feet. He just looked so fuckable, sitting there, clothes askew in the snow with his damp hair and red cheeks. Whether it was from cold or embarrassment I don't know, but I know what I'd like the reason to be.

Roxas and I spent the rest of Christmas snuggled up in front of the fireplace under a blanket, drinking hot chocolate and eating marshmallows and nuts. I was wearing my loose black bottoms and Roxas wore his light blue pyjamas with little yellow ice creams on them. He looked so cute. We watched Scrooge together and cuddled and kissed and just enjoyed what was going on.

I pulled Roxas closer to me and kissed the back of his neck, making him shiver and he wiggled closer to me. Roxas liked to be close to me because I was always so warm and I ran my fingers through his soft blonde hair and kissed his neck several more times. Roxas whimpered and shivered and then turned to face me, locking out lips together and wrapping one arm around my waist, gently scratching at my flesh and causing me to tremble slightly. Fucking hell Roxas was such a damn cock tease. Seriously, he did the sexiest things without really knowing about it and it turned me on so much. Damn it he turned me on so much.

I brushed my tongue across Roxas' and enjoyed the taste of chocolate and insane sweetness from the marshmallows. Roxas hummed and then pulled away slightly.

"Oh, I made something for us. You wanna see?" I nodded my head and he got to his feet and ran over to the kitchen, leaving me to stew in my sexual frustration. I was desperate for Roxas, completely and utterly desperate. But what do you do when the guy you love just isn't ready for sex? You whack off… a lot. But it just isn't the same, it doesn't have the same results and it just doesn't feel as good!

Roxas returned with a small white bowl and sat back down, clambering under the blanket and then he held up the bowl. I looked curiously and cocked an eyebrow.

"Wow, you made shit. Well done." Roxas rolled his eyes and smacked me one hard.

"It's not shit! It's chocolate strawberries." I looked at Roxas and could have quite easily whacked him one. He's doing this on purpose, he just has to be.

"You gonna go and get the oysters too?" I asked and he frowned and cocked an eyebrow.

"Ew no." I smiled and reached forward, intent on taking a strawberry… until Roxas whacked my hand away.

"Hey! Patience!" he crawled on top of me, straddling my hips and my mind was swimming with all the ways that this could go. Oh god no. this wasn't good, the boy was going to get raped… by his own partner. Not good. Roxas picked up a strawberry and then gently placed it to my lips. Yep, he's gonna get raped.

I took the strawberry and bit down. The fusion hit me straight away. Hard, creamy chocolate with soft juicy strawberry. A mixture of slight zest and sweet, hard and soft, the taste was heavenly. Roxas popped one into his mouth and after a few I felt certain that it wasn't a rumour… chocolate strawberries were an aphrodisiac. That's why I thought Roxas was doing it on purpose, but apparently he just loved them. How the hell was he not horny twenty four seven?

"Close your eyes and open your mouth." I cocked an eyebrow and Roxas rolled his eyes at my dirty mind.

"It'll be a nice surprise, trust me." Roxas teased and I did as he wanted to, albeit nervously. I felt Roxas press the chocolate covered fruit to my mouth and I gently bit down. Almost immediately afterwards, I felt something else… something warm and soft around the treat. I opened my eyes and immediately closed them again as a small groan came from my throat and a tightening in my stomach. Roxas was on the other half of the strawberry. We both devoured the fruit softly and slowly and when there was nothing left, our lips met in a delicious kiss. I could still taste the treat on Roxas' tongue, along the roof of his mouth and against his lips. I gently cupped the back of his neck and rested another hand to his hip, squeezing gently. Roxas bucked forward, rubbing his own crotch against mine and I moaned softly against his lips. Jesus fucking Christ I had to shower, and I had to do it right now!

Roxas pulled away and looked down at me. Damn it he looked so good in firelight. The right side of his face had a warm glow to it, his eye twinkling and his expression soft and warm and yet the other side was shrouded in darkness, the only thing you could make out were the obvious features, the nose, the smiling lips and the twinkling sapphire that looked so much darker than the other. Roxas reached forward and stroked my cheek.

"I love you." He whispered and I smiled and kissed his fingers.

"I love you too." I replied and he smiled and licked his lips, leaning forward for another kiss. But this one was different, it was more urgent and ten times more passionate, tongue and lips moved against each other and Roxas gently nipped at my bottom lip as he slid his hand down to my thigh. He toyed with it for all of a moment before his hand slipped upwards and rubbed gently over my groin. I threw my head back, closing my eyes and groaned loudly and Roxas rested his head on my chest and repeated the action. I reached up and grabbed his arms, pulling him so he was sitting upright and tried to calm myself down.

"Roxie…" Roxas just smiled at me and leaned forward, pressing our bodies together in the sexiest ways.

"Axel… this is why I wanted to stay home tonight. Come on, let's go. Please." My breath caught in my throat and he slipped his hand up my naked chest, stopping to run his thumbs over my nipples and causing me to bite my lip to stop the moans from flowing. His lips locked with mine and kissed him back feverishly, wanting him to know just how much he drove me fucking crazy, wanting to show him just how much I wanted him, needed him. Roxas kissed back with equal vehemence and he ground himself against me again. To say that I was shocked to feel both of our excitements rub against each other would be an understatement. Roxas sat upright and repeated the action, able to get a lot of thrust against me and the friction caused was immense. Roxas moaned openly and I copied his action, sitting up and gripping his hips.

"Roxie… are you sure about this… because I'm not sure if I'll be able to stop once we get started." Roxas nodded his head quickly and leaned forward and kissed me, stroking my face softly.

"That's OK; I don't want you to stop. Come on." And he took me by my hand and led me to the bedroom. When we got inside, I closed the bedroom door and Roxas smiled as he stepped backwards towards the bed, looking so fucking sexy it was unfair. I couldn't believe Roxas had finally decided to give in a little and finally take things a little further. I wrapped my arms around Roxas and lifted him up, making him squeal slightly and I lay him on the bed, kissing him romantically and lying on top of him. Roxas rolled his hips upwards and brushed his now swollen cock against my own and he shivered slightly. I undid the buttons to his pyjama top without him noticing and then gently pushed it to the side, exposing his incredibly sexy body and running my fingers over his pert nipples. Pulling off the material Roxas made a grab for my bottoms but I batted his hand aside.

"Patience Roxie." I teased and Roxas pouted playfully before leaning up and kissing me again. My body was on fire and Roxas, well he was just hot. I kissed his neck, enjoying the feeling when his hands balled into fists, gripping my hair as I bit him and sucked ravenously, eliciting small moans and whimpers from the blonde. It didn't take long for a deep red mark to appear and then I made my way further down his body. This kind of stuff we had done before, making out and the likes, but never had we taken it so far. We'd touched as long as it was above the pant line and nowhere classed as 'private' but this was so much more and I was enjoying every second. I ran my hands over Roxas' chest and then down his sides, my mouth following and moving to wrap around one of his nipples and play with it for a moment before moving down and kissing his stomach. The muscles tightened and relaxed as I planted the butterfly kisses along his stomach down to his hip bone. I kissed him roughly before moving down to his pyjama bottoms and slipping my hands inside, running them along his outer thigh, down past his knees and over his ankles, Roxas arching his hips to aid me as I removed the bothersome article.

I kissed his stomach again, moving further down and planting open mouthed kisses across his heated flesh, tugging down his boxers slightly and kissing just above the pant line of his boxers, then pulling them down a little more and kissing again, repeating the action several times before I stopped altogether and kissed Roxas full on the lips. He let out an aggravated growl and I could understand why. I was a complete bastard when it came to teasing but the kid had teased me for so long it was only fair he had a little taste of his own medicine. Roxas gripped my shoulders and then pushed me back so I was kneeling and he sat, one leg either side of me and ran his hands down my body, from my shoulders to my chest to my stomach, scratching lightly when he got to my abdomen and causing me to shiver involuntarily. He smiled and kissed my body, running his hands to my side and clawing gently as he kissed and sucked my flesh. He moved and knelt in front of me and locked our lips together, hands sliding up to my back and pulling me close and I felt my stomach tie in knots and do flips when I felt Roxas' diamond hard shaft collide with my own. I wasn't sure how much longer I wanted to wait.

I gently pushed Roxas back down and then removed his boxers, taking in the view before me. He was so beautiful and I heard Roxas sigh.

"Hey Axel… my eyes are up here you know." I just nodded my head, still not tearing my gaze away from his body, particularly his lower region.

"Yeah I know." I replied and Roxas chuckled and reached up taking my face in his hands and kissing me wildly. He slipped the tips of his fingers inside the hem of my bottoms and tugged playfully.

"I want these off." He told me and I smiled and nodded in agreement. I got into a better position and Roxas slid them off, throwing them to the floor to join the other items of clothing. His eyes widened slightly.

"Axel…" he sounded worried and I brought him closer and kissed him softly, moving from his lips to his neck.

"It's OK…" I cooed and he shook his head.

"That'll never fit." I chuckled and he smiled at me before he reached again, this time his hand taking a gentle hold of my hard cock. I withdrew a sharp breath when I felt his fingers wrap around the sensitive flesh and he began moving his hand back and forth along my shaft in slow and steady motions. I gasped and bucked my hips forward, trying to speed up the friction between my cock and Roxas' hand and then he stopped and pushed me down onto my back, kissing deeply at my neck. It didn't take long for me to switch positions and take a hold of Roxas' and my own cock, cupping the both of them in my one hand and then thrusting back and forth. Roxas groaned loudly and tilted his head back, arching into the touch and I smiled and continued the action, feeling Roxas' slippery cock against my own was an immense fucking feeling.

I continued for a moment or two before pulling away and looking at Roxas. His eyes were hazy with lust and a slightly darker shade of blue but still as beautiful. I smiled and kissed down his body and when I gave a small kiss to his member, he jumped and gripped my shoulder.

"No wait, I…"

"Shhh… worry too much that's what. Relax Roxie." I whispered, soothing him slightly. I knew he was worried because I knew he hadn't done this with a guy before. Girls yes, I knew Roxas was no virgin when it came to girls, but the most he'd ever done with a guy before was hand jobs and a kiss. And it wasn't even on the lips, it was on the cheek. I understood his nerves and tried my best to relax him and then licked at his shaft, from base to tip, swirling my tongue around his head and then taking the tip into my mouth and sucking gently. Roxas' voice rumbled in the back of his throat as he both tried to moan and tried to stifle it at the same time and I moved down onto his cock.

"Ah- Axel…" I moaned slightly when I heard Roxas moan my name like that and the vibrations it caused drove Roxas crazy. His body flushed from his stomach to his cheeks and his breathing became irregular and shaky. Damn it he looked so hot. After a while Roxas gripped my hair and pulled me back away from him, I took this as my cue to stop and he pulled me to him and then pushed me back so I was lying down. He kissed me hard for a moment and then moved down my body, I realised what he was doing when he got to my hips and gently bit down. I moaned before talking to him.

"Rox, you don't have to ah! Oh god Roxie…" I didn't have time to finish my sentence. Roxas must have known what I was going to say and clearly just didn't want to hear it. He took my cock into his mouth and started his work almost immediately, running his beautiful and wonderful tongue over my hard shaft and gripping the bottom gently, still pumping while going down on me. For a guy who had apparently never done this before he was fucking good. He picked up a steady rhythm almost instantly and made some very hot satisfied noises at random times, making the hairs on the back of my neck prick up and stand on end. He pulled away after a while and kissed my neck softly before moving to my lips. I could taste myself on his lips but I didn't care. Roxas chuckled slightly and I smiled and rolled him so he was underneath me and I kissed him gently.

"Are you sure about this Rox? We can stop now if you don't want to go further, just settle for something else." Roxas smiled and shook his head.

"Nah I'm sure. Promise… just… nervous I guess." I shook my head and winked.

"Don't be. It'll be fine." Roxas nodded his head once, still unsure and I kissed his forehead and then reached over to the bedside table, taking a tube of lube and popping the top open. Roxas swallowed hard and I gave a reassuring smile as I squeezed out the lube onto my fingers, rubbing them together and coating them in a thick layer of the liquid. When three of my fingers were covered, I smeared the excess over my cock and looked up at Roxas, waiting for confirmation. He bit his bottom lip nervously and swallowed hard, nodding once and I smiled and leaned over him, distracting him with kisses for a moment. I gently massaged Roxas' entrance, smoothing more lubricant over the entrance and felt him stiffen up, his nails dug slightly into my back and I licked my lips.

"Rox, relax OK?"

"Its gonna hurt." He replied and I swallowed. I couldn't lie to Roxas, at first it was going to hurt, but it would hurt more if he was tense and I told him so. After a few more moments of kissing and touching Roxas relaxed and I slipped one finger inside him. He tensed for a moment and then relaxed and I thanked him with a soft kiss. I began moving my finger and Roxas seemed pretty unbothered by it, I added the second finger and he let out a small whimper but nothing more. But when I added the third I got a very sharp hiss, face screwing up in pain and nails digging into my back and I froze for him to get used to it. He swallowed and steadied his breathing and then gave a small thrust forward and I started to move my hand again, slowly at first and then picking up a little more speed.

"A-Ax… can you… can…" he didn't need to finish the sentence off. I slowly and carefully removed my fingers and then positioned myself at his entrance. I eased forward slowly, slipping into his entrance inch at a time. Roxas let out a pained gasp when I couldn't take it anymore and pushed forward, fully sheathing myself inside Roxas.

"Ah, fucking shitting hell!" I bit my lip and Roxas tried to catch his breath. This was too much he had to keep still, I could feel his muscles clamping down and then relaxing around my cock and it was driving me crazy.

"Are you trying to kill me? Damn he said it would hurt but I didn't think it would feel like a damn cucumber was up there!" I couldn't help but laugh and Roxas smiled and rolled his eyes, shaking his head slightly. Only Roxas could make me laugh at a time like this.

"Yes Axel, that's right, laugh at my pain." I chuckled and leaned forward, kissing him. Just as our lips met Roxas' mouth opened and he moaned. I smiled then and he looked up at me with confused eyes. He tried to form a sentence and then shook his head.

"OK changed my mind I don't care what it was just do it again." And I did as he wanted, l slowly and carefully pulled out of Roxas, causing him to groan and then gently thrusting back in and repeating the action several times before picking up the speed, pounding into him harder and harder. Roxas moaned hotly into my mouth and panted when things got more heated and I won't lie, Roxas was a very receptive person. If he liked something then he would let you know which was great because listening to him moan and groan and pant the way he was turned me on so much. Roxas was undeniably tight and he felt so fucking good! I gripped his hips, pinning him down hard onto the bed and using them to get a more powerful thrust and make me be able to angle my thrusts better. Roxas continued to scream as I hit his prostate over and over again and when I reached down and wrapped one of my hands around his dripping cock, pumping him in time with my own thrusts he threw his arms back, gripping the bars of the bed and pushing his head further into the pillow, eyes closed as he moaned and groaned and cursed loudly. His legs wrapped around my waist and made it easier for me to screw him senseless and then he helped even more by literally pulling me into him for added power.

The bed rocked and creaked and the headboard that Roxas was gripping banged loudly against the wall in time with our thrusts. Every noise that filled the room seemed to be amplified ten times over, Roxas' breathing, his pants, cries, moans, the creaking of the bed and bangs of the headboard and even the wet noises of skin slapping skin.

"Ah Axel I… mmmm! I'm gonna…" I crushed our lips together for a brief second, making Roxas believe I was going to muffle out his screams and then when I pulled away and hit him with a powerful deep and hard thrust, he came; letting out a primal moan and several other cries and a scream of my name. Fucking hell he looked hot when he came and it sent me spinning over the edge, Roxas' orgasm made his muscles spasm around my hard length and drove me to a strong climax. I came hard inside of Roxas and thrust into him a few more times before pulling out and lying by his side. Roxas finally released the headboard and opened his eyes, the hazy blue still there and his chest rose and fell, shaking slightly in steady breaths trying to get oxygen back to his brain.

I wrapped an arm around Roxas and he moved closer to me, pushing his now damp hair out of his face and sighing contently. Both our bodies were glistening with a thin layer of sweat and he smile and licked his lips.

"We should have done that sooner. Why didn't you make me do it sooner?" I chuckled and kissed his cheek softly then frowned.

"Oh yeah… who told you it would hurt?" Roxas smiled then and chuckled.

"Sora. He and Riku…" I clicked my fingers.

"I fucking knew it!" Roxas smiled and nuzzled closer to me.

"Merry Christmas Ax." He yawned and I smiled, feeling fully satisfied for the first time in a long time.

"Merry Christmas Rox." Roxas' eyes opened then and I felt his smile return.

"Hey. This is the first Christmas I've had where nothing has gone wrong." I looked into his beautiful blue eyes and stroked his face.

"So you've had a good time?" I asked. Roxas beamed at me and kissed my lips quickly.

"The best." I smiled and let Roxas rest his head back onto my shoulder as we settled down and let sleep overtake us.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Year Five… 25th December.

Three years. Three years to the day we've been going out for and to say its been an experience and a half would be an understatement of the millennium. We've argued, we've made up, we've laughed, we've cried. We went on our first holiday together and 'christened' everything in sight, but through the good times and bad times, we are still together and happy and going strong.

Roxas got teased about the hickey I left on his neck the next day, but people realised that we were serious then and Sora pumped Roxas for ages… and I mean ages on information. Roxas usually retorted with something that involved Sora and Riku and then Sora would shut up for two seconds before carrying on.

Things changed from that day. For example, Roxas' father wanted to suddenly be a part of Roxas' life again, after three years of total non contact and he suddenly wanted to know. He wanted to know all about Roxas, all about me, were we still together, how things were, where had we moved to, how was work, could we all meet up sometime? It was damn scary. Needless to say Roxas told him he was busy and he'd call back when he was free… and never did.

My own family were a little more laid back with it all now. Roxas and I could actually cuddle on the sofa and we wouldn't get dirty looks or be told to move anymore. But to be honest I was now twenty two and Roxas was nineteen so they couldn't really say much, we were both legal and we were pretty much mature adults… sometimes.

Roxas' friends accepted that we were together and that we were going to stay like it for a very, very long time and pretty much just let us get on with whatever we wanted to do. The strangest and probably most awkward thing that happened, must have been about four months ago. Roxas and I were at Sora and Riku's (yes those crazy lovebirds got their own place together and everything was super fantastic for them too) they were away on holiday and had asked Roxas and I to look after the house for them while they were gone.

We had just got out of the shower, so we were wearing very little, Roxas wore his long grey bottoms and I wore my own black pair. I wrestled Roxas to the sofa and that was it, we were kissing and touching each other up and everything. Roxas was such a little sex kitten it was unreal, and I fucking loved it. He pushed his hand into my pants and seized my cock, running his fingers over my skin and then quickening his pace. I groaned softly and then let out an exasperated sigh when the doorbell rang.

"Someone has bad timing!" I complained and Roxas smiled and removed his hand, standing up and heading to the door. I followed him so I could personally kill whoever had interrupted us and wrapped my arms around Roxas' waist, kissing his neck softly and making him shiver. When Roxas opened the door, we both kind of froze and just stared.

A boy the same age as Roxas stood in front of us with blonde spiky hair, shorter than Roxas' and a lot blonder and big brown eyes. He wore a pair of camouflage combats and a black tank top with black and white trainers and clutched a black skateboard.

"Roxas?" he asked, as if he couldn't believe who or what he was seeing. Roxas folded his arms over his chest and I released him, realising that now probably wasn't the best time for a quickie considering who was at the door. I noted Roxas folding his arms and gave an internal smile, he did that when he was pissed off or feeling very defensive. I wonder which one it could be.

"Hayner." He replied coldly, clearly unimpressed to see his ex best friend/ ex lover. Yeah I know, confused it's pretty simple really. Hayner and Roxas were best friends, and Hayner was the first guy that Roxas had ever done anything with. Hayner used to get horny, and because Roxas was stupid and young and naïve, he'd help Hayner out. Roxas really liked Hayner, but Hayner was only interested in getting jacked off. He completely refused to acknowledge that it was Roxas who was touching him up and making him come and they were only ever best friends when with anybody else. Roxas continued to do it because he liked Hayner, not just as a friend and he thought that maybe if he carried on Hayner would like him too. But Hayner was actually a homophobic twat. One time, while Roxas was jacking Hayner off, he went to kiss him and Hayner punched Roxas one in the face. It caused a massive argument between the two of them.

"He had asked what the fuck I was doing and said that, that isn't how it goes. I told him that I was fucking fed up just doing his dirty work and wanted to know what we were exactly and when he couldn't answer me I just shook my head. Then he said 'we're best friends Roxas, you know that'." He shook his head and scoffed.

"I turned around to him and said 'if we're only best friends then why do you want me to jack you off pretty much every time I come round here?' and we got into a massive fucking argument. Hayner pushed me against the wall and said to me that if I ever mentioned it to anyone then he'd fucking kill me. So I never said anything. He was a cunt."

And those were Roxas' own words. And now the same boy who had manipulated him into doing that, and then shunned him when Roxas had told him that he had a boyfriend, was standing in front of him, looking just as awkward and weird as Roxas. Only Roxas looked more pissed off too.

"Erm, hey… how are you?" Hayner asked, rubbing the back of his neck out of awkwardness. Roxas nodded his head and lowered one of his hands, gripping mine tightly and squeezing.

"I'm great. Never been better." Hayner noticed the gesture and his face flushed and his mouth twitched a little as if he were really about to throw up and Roxas glowered at him. Hayner pulled his eyes away and cleared his throat awkwardly.

"Yeah erm… you look good. Not, like… erm, as in… well a gay way or anything just…" Roxas rolled his eyes.

"Did you come here for something or not because we were kinda in the middle of something." I smiled and bit my bottom lip to refrain from saying something incredibly graphic and Hayner pulled a face and licked his lips.

"Erm, I came to see Sora but…"

"He's away. Holiday. Will be back Monday." Hayner nodded his head and Roxas cocked an eyebrow.

"Anything else?" Hayner sighed.

"Roxas… can we talk please. I mean I haven't seen you in years…"

"Well whose fault is that? Not mine! It's not my fault you're a homophobic cunt." Hayner glowered at Roxas and shook his head.

"You been up to much?" Roxas smiled then and shuffled shyly and I grinned at him and gave him a hug from behind, not to make Hayner feel uncomfortable or anything, just because I wanted to.

"Anything I'd actually want to know about?" Hayner corrected and Roxas looked at him and shook his head.

"Probably not. Anyway I'm not standing out here all day I'm erm… a little preoccupied…" and with that he turned to me and smiled playfully.

"Hey go and get the new thing we brought ready yeah, I'll come back in a few minutes, keep the bed warm." I just nodded my head and then leaned forward, kissing Roxas passionately and then leaving, a little anxious about leaving Roxas on his own with Hayner but doing to anyway.

When Roxas returned he came into the living room and put his hands on his hips.

"Why are you not in bed?" he teased and I smiled and rolled my eyes. Apparently things didn't go well with Hayner. Roxas told him that he didn't want anything to do with him because he was a complete asshole and he wasn't missing him anyway.

By the time Sora and Riku came back from holiday, most of the house had been 'christened' by Roxas and I and that was the last time we saw Hayner all year.

I smiled at the memory and continued to walk hand in hand with Roxas. We had already opened all the presents and eaten Christmas dinner and we had been to the park and everything and now we were on our way to Sora's for the usual Christmas party. We had missed it last year but for a very good reason and Sora had understood. Which was really kinda weird. What Roxas didn't know, was that I had another small surprise up my sleeve.

We got to Sora's and when he opened the door we headed into the living room and Roxas went straight over to Zexion to start talking and I sat on the sofa beside Demyx.

"Hey Axel. How's life?" he asked and I smiled and nodded my head.

"Fantastic. You?" Demyx smiled and nodded his head.

"Yeah… erm, I think I need to tell you something." I grew worried and Demyx licked his lips and flushed.

"Me and Zexion… erm, we kinda… you know…" my eyes widened and I hit his arm and smiled.

"No way get out!" I exclaimed and Demyx cocked an eyebrow.

"Gay. Very gay Axel." I shook my head and blinked.

"Shut up tell me what happened!" Demyx explained everything to me and then I made him go into graphic detail with more interesting stuff and we started to have a few drinks. Roxas was still standing with Zexion, now drinking from a bottle and I looked over at him, admiring him.

"So… you and Roxas still good?" Demyx asked and I nodded my head, a smile gracing my lips as I watched Roxas laugh and smile with his best friend.

"Yeah were great." I replied, not really listening to what he was saying. Roxas looked so good tonight. He wore a tight black tank top and a pair of dark blue tight denim jeans. Mmm, so good!

"You having second thoughts." I glanced at Demyx.

"No way have you seen him? I'm just… a little anxious I guess." Demyx smiled and hit my arm playfully.

"It'll be fine trust me." He replied. I looked back over at Roxas and smiled to myself, Roxas glanced over to me and gave a loving and warm smile raising his hand and waving slightly. I nodded at him and he smiled more and then glanced from Zexion back to me. That was it; I had to get him to myself. I patted Demyx's knee and stood up and he gave me a small wink as I headed over to Roxas. The blonde watched me cautiously as I approached him and I wrapped an arm behind his back and he smiled as I leaned down and kissed him gently on the lips. Zexion gave a small smile and I returned the gesture.

"Can I steal your best friend for a bit?" I asked and Zexion smiled and waved me off.

"Yeah sure, he's boring me now anyway." Roxas pretended to be insulted and then pouted and I could have raped him right there and then. I took Roxas by the hand and led him outside and Roxas smiled and squeezed my hand.

"Are we going to christen the swinging chair?" Roxas asked playfully and I chuckled and shook my head.

"Maybe later." I led Roxas to the swinging chair and we both sat down together. Roxas smiled and hummed a little.

"This was where it all started wasn't it? I mean, when we decided that we were gonna give it a try. To the day as well… wow…" I smiled and nodded my head. It was a beautiful night. The sky was a dark blue almost black and there were stars twinkling in the sky. Roxas' eyes reminded me of exactly the same thing and he smiled and sighed contently.

"You know you mean the world to me right?" I asked and Roxas blinked and looked at me nodding his head.

"Yeah of course… why?" I ignored the question.

"And you know I love you more than anything… right?" Roxas looked nervously at me and licked his lips.

"Ax… you're kinda scaring me." Roxas' voice was serious and he looked really nervous. Unbelievably cute actually but I didn't want him to be nervous. Or did I? I was a bit of a bastard sometimes. I sighed and rubbed the back of my neck.

"It's just, I've been thinking about everything lately. Us and… everything. And I've decided something that's… really important. And I think you should know." Roxas swallowed hard and licked his lips. He whispered my name, urging me to continue.

"I… I don't want us to be boyfriends anymore." Roxas frowned and then I saw the confusion and hurt in his eyes but before I could actually continue Roxas spoke.

"Right so you've been fine with me all night and you've brought me out here to split up with me? On Christmas day? You asshole!!" Roxas stood up and his hurt turned into anger. I licked my lips and went to talk but was cut off again by the blonde.

"I mean I don't get it! What have I done this time, huh? Why the hell are you doing this now?!" I gave a small smile and closed my eyes.

"Roxas…"

"No come on tell me, I'm just fucking dying to know! Are you being fucking serious about this?! Because if this is some fucked up joke, its not funny Axel!" I looked at the blonde.

"Roxas..."

"And you know what else I don't get, why are you smiling? Is seeing me so pissed off and fucking confused a kick for you?" I smiled more.

"Its actually quite a turn on." Silence.

"What? You can't do that! You can't say you wanna split up with me and then tell me that I turn you on! Is this some fucked up kink for you or something?"

"Roxas."

"I mean some people get turned on by their partners dressing up in sexy clothes or, whacking off in front of them or talking dirty, but nooo… Mr Axel likes it when his partner is angry…"

"Roxas! Shut up for two seconds OK?" Roxas stared at me and sighed loudly, folding his arms over his chest.

"I never said I wanted to split up with you, I just said I didn't want to be boyfriends anymore." Roxas thought for a moment and then frowned and shook his head.

"Which generally means that you wanna break up with someone…" he replied sarcastically, as if chastising a five year old child. I chuckled and shook my head, patting the seat beside me.

"Will you sit down?" I asked firmly and Roxas did as he was told, folding his arms over his chest and I looked at him and smiled.

"I'm not breaking up with you Roxas…" I told him and with that I moved towards him, getting down on one knee and taking his hand, locking eyes with him. He looked so confused and blinked several times whilst trying to remain angry with me and figure out what I was playing at.

"I'm proposing to you." Roxas' eyes widened and I reached into my back pocket and pulled out a small black box. Roxas' eyes looked like they were going to pop out of his head and he licked his lips nervously.

"Roxas. We've known each other for five years, and we've been together for three of those five years. And each year just gets better and better and I love you more and more everyday. You mean everything to me, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you." I could see Roxas' shock on his face and his eyes were filling with unshed tears, he bit his lip hard.

"So… Roxas Strife…" I opened up the box and revealed the silver band inside it and Roxas' body relaxed noticeably. I had never felt so damn nervous in all my life.

"Will you make me the happiest man in the universe… and marry me?" Roxas' reaction was something short of unexpected. He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees, burying his head in his hands and crying. I bit my lip nervously and my face showed my concern. I swallowed hard and Roxas looked at me and I knew then that he was happy. Good, sad tears are bad, happy tears are good. Roxas silently nodded his head, trying to form words but finding it totally impossible and I smiled and placed the ring on his finger. Roxas was chocked up, unable to say much of anything and instead he just laughed a little and tried to calm himself down.

He reached up to me when I stood up and I leaned down to him, hugging him and he hugged me back. I wiped his tears away and kissed his cheeks and then Roxas moved in and kissed my lips, standing up and wrapping his arms around my neck, pulling me to him roughly and kissing me passionately.

"I really thought you were going to split up with me." He sobbed and I smiled and nodded my head.

"I noticed. But no Roxas, I don't want to split up with you." Roxas laughed and wiped more tears away.

"Yeah I figured that much now. My god I love you so damn much." We kissed and hugged and talked outside for a while and when the realisation hit Roxas he just couldn't wipe the smile off of his face. And to be honest, neither could I.

"Wow… Axel I'm engaged." And that's all he could say for quite a while. When we headed back inside, Sora glanced over at us and gave us some strange look because we both looked so damn happy. He rolled his eyes.

"Tell me you didn't! I've only just got the stains out from last time." Roxas smiled widely and then buried his head in my arm and I kissed the top of his head affectionately. Sora cocked an eyebrow.

"What, what is it?" he asked and suddenly the whole party seemed intrigued in what was going on. Roxas moved away and cleared his throat and then looked at me.

"Can I tell them?" he asked and I smiled and nodded my head. Roxas held his hand up to his face and flashed off the ring and Sora's jaw dropped as did several other people's.

"Oh my god no way!!" Sora screamed and he ran over to Roxas and examined the ring and gave Roxas a massive hug. Then started all the excitement… congratulations, loads of people wanting to know what was said and how I proposed and all that jazz.

Roxas and I couldn't stop looking over at each other and smiling. He looked so happy and it gave me such a buzz knowing that I was the reason he was so happy. Demyx came over and hugged me.

"Congrats man. How did he take it?" I smiled.

"He cried." Demyx smiled and nodded his head.

"I knew he would, he's so fucking happy Axel, I don't think I've ever seen him look so good. You'll be adopting kids next." I looked at Demyx with a seriously scared expression on my face.

"One step at a time eh Dem?" I asked and he laughed loudly and hit my back. I smiled at Roxas as he spoke with his friends and let out a content sigh. Christmas just seems to get better and better every year, and knowing that I was going to spend plenty more with Roxas, made me the happiest man on the planet.

Because Roxas was my life, he was my everything. He was the love of my life, my other half, my heart. And god I loved him so much.

THE END.

OK, that's it. I will be updating more and more so please keep a look out. Let me know what you thought yeah?

Loves and hugs to everyone!