Realizations

Summary: Oscar dies and Josslyn finds out the truth about why Oscar broke up with her and the part Cam played.

Part One

Josslyn's hands shook in her lap as she sat on the sofa in her home. Her mother's arm was wrapped comfortingly around her shoulders for which she was grateful. She was sure she'd collapse if not for the support.

A red eyed Kim sat in the chair across from the sofa, face void of makeup as she explained everything. How Oscar had been sick for years, a fact that she'd kept secret even from him. How she knew that his seizure meant that it was getting worse. How she'd finally told him the truth and how angry he'd been.

It was all a shock to Josslyn. She'd been so worried when he'd had the seizure, but he'd told her it was just because he hadn't eaten enough that day. She wondered if that was why Kim was always so protective and if that was why she'd allowed her son to date the stepdaughter of a mob boss, because she knew how it would end. She shook that thought from her mind. Kim wasn't that cold hearted. "I don't get it." She whispered. "Wasn't there anything the doctors could do?"

The doctor swallowed hard and shook her head. "There was a...clinical trial. Oscar didn't want to go through with it. He even went to Alexis Davis for help to serve Drew and I so he could make his own decisions. By the time he decided that he wanted to do the trial, it was too late."

"That's why he broke up with me, isn't it?" Josslyn asked. "He didn't want me to have to deal with his death. He thought it would be easier for me if we weren't together."

Kim shut her eyes and nodded. "He thought he was doing right by you. I told him he should tell you what was going on. Make your own decisions on if you wanted to stand by him or not. He wouldn't hear of it. He was convinced he was doing the right thing." She reached out to hold Josslyn's hand and urged the girl to look at her. "You've got to believe me, Josslyn. My son never stopped loving you." She fished something out of her purse. A small box wrapped in blue paper with a small silver ribbon. "Before...before he passed, he told me to give this to you. Said it was a birthday present. Anyway, I've got to go. I have arrangements to make. Take care of yourself Josslyn. You too, Carly." And with that, she walked out the door, a shadow of her former self.

Beside of Josslyn, Carly sniffled and hugged her daughter close. "Oh baby, I'm so sorry." She said as she pressed a kiss to the side of her daughters head. "I never wanted you to have to go through something like this again."

Josslyn didn't cry, instead she was hyper focused on the present which she unwrapped with shaky hands. She allowed a shaky breath to pass her lips as she opened the box and revealed a silver ring in the shape of a fox. She took it out of the box and slid it onto her finger. As she stared at it, that was when the tears finally came and the blonde immediately collapsed into her mother's arms as she sobbed. "Mom, it hurts so bad."

Carly ran her fingers through her daughter's hair with one hand and rubbed her back with the other. "I know it does, honey" She soothed gently. "I know. Oscar was your friend and your first boyfriend. You're allowed to mourn him."

The teen sniffed and lifted her head to look at her mother with tear filled eyes. "Is it okay for me to be angry, too?"

Her mother nodded emphatically. "Of course. You're allowed to feel whatever you want, baby."

Josslyn nodded thankfully and stood to her feet. She cleared her throat and said. "I'm gonna...go upstairs. I just want to be alone for a bit."

Carly smiled sadly and kissed the top of her daughter's head. "Of course. I'll make you some tea and order a pizza. You go up and rest." She watched her daughter walk up the stairs and then swiped the tears from her own eyes as she headed to the kitchen.

Josslyn entered her bedroom and immediately collapsed onto her bed. She buried her head into the pillow and sobbed as she remembered Oscar. Her fingers clutched the fabric of the pillow painfully as she allowed her feelings to truly take a hold of her. It was reminiscent to the pain that she'd felt when she'd found out that Morgan had died, except somehow worse. At least she had a happy memory of the last time she'd seen her brother alive. All she had of Oscar was the memory of their argument in the park. If she'd known what was going on, she'd never have said what she did.

Flashback

Josslyn walked out of Kelly's as she and Cam parted ways. Things were finally going well for her after her breakup with Oscar. What had started as a plan to get Oscar back had quickly turned out a different way for Josslyn. Now, she was no longer trying to get Oscar to realize what he'd lost. If he didn't want her, she wasn't going to vye for his attention. Cam was truly a good friend and had made her so happy this past month. She hadn't yet told him her feelings and planned on waiting awhile before she revealed them. The last thing she wanted was for Cam to feel lie a rebound.

She headed in the direction of the park as she figured a breath of fresh air could do her some good. Besides, her mother wasn't going to pick up for another half an hour and there was always a possiblity that she might run into her uncles with their son, Wiley. The baby loved the park.

She stopped short as she spotted the figure rested against the tree. Even from the distance, she knew that figure anywhere. Quickly, she averted her eyes and tried to walk on as if she hadn't spotted him. Luck wasn't in her favor though as she felt a hand wrap around her arm and turn her around.

"Josslyn" Oscar said, eyes filled with determination.

The girl in question rolled her eyes. "What do you want, Oscar? Shouldn't you be ignoring me like you usually do?" If she'd been paying attention, she'd have noticed the dark circles under his eyes and how much paler he seemed. She'd have noticed that it looked as if he'd lost a little weight and how he looked her over, drinking her in as if it would be the last time.

"Since when do you have feelings for Cam?" He wondered.

Her expression turned fierce. "And how is it your business to ask me that? We aren't even friends. You wrote me out of your life completely when you dumped me. Besides, what would your girlfriend think of you questioning me like this?"

"Joss, just because I broke up with you, doesn't mean I don't care. I care for you more than you could possibly know." Oscar's voice was soothing as he said the words, he reached out a hand to brush her cheek and smiled slightly as she closed her eyes and almost leaned into it.

She jerked away abruptly as she realized what she'd done. "Really? Well I don't buy it." She tried to walk past him. She just wanted to end this entire conversation. But of course, Josslyn thought better of it and whirled around as her volatile anger took hold of her. "No, you know what, Oscar? Why don't you explain things to me if you care about me so much." She stalked toward him until their feet touched. "Why don't you explain to me why you ended things and now just think that you can take everything back? If you cared, you wouldn't have cut me off and left me wondering what I'd done wrong when just days before you'd told me that you loved me. When we'd been planning ahead for our next anniversary. And even if you didn't want to be my boyfriend anymore, you could've been my friend. But no! You completely cut me off. So guess what, Oscar? I'm cutting you off. I don't give a damn about you anymore."

And in a flurry of blonde hair, she was gone.

Now Josslyn wished she'd have taken notice of the things she'd missed. That she'd probed harder. She just wished that she'd gotten to say goodbye and that he'd allowed her that. Now she just felt lost, unsure of what to do next.

Next Chapter: Carly tells Sonny what happened, Josslyn struggles to make it through school as thoughts of Oscar overwhelm her. Cam feels guilty.