A/N: Okay, if you've read my stories before you'll find this one's a bit… weirder. But really, as if the Kankuro and Tenten stories I write aren't weird enough: I've had Kankuro fall in potato chips, step in dog poo and wear a dress… I think I need to send poor Kankuro on a vacation.

Anyway, this story is about Shino and his eyes. It's the first story I've written for Shino but this idea popped into my head at four in the morning and it makes me laugh. I want to know what everyone else thinks about it!

So here you go!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

"My name is Shino Aburame, and welcome to my story.

"If you have met me after I turned six, then you don't know what my eyes look like or what color they are. They could be as white as Neji's, as red as Sasuke's or as unique as Lee's.

"Let me take you back, when I was in Kindergarten at the Academy…"

I had many friends when I was five. Most of them thought I was weird for talking to ants during free time, but I wouldn't exactly call them normal either.

There was Sasuke, the kid with a rooster-shaped haircut who didn't talk to anyone.

There were Sakura and Ino, the girls who stared at Sasuke with dreamy looks on their faces and hearts popping out of their eyes.

There was Naruto, the kid who ate glue.

There was Kiba, the loudmouth boy whose puppy peed on my new jacket.

There was Shikamaru, who never smiled and called everything troublesome, however at that age it sounded more like, "Tubow-Sum."

And then there was Choji, who distracted the class by eating noisily until Iruka-Sensei told him to stop.

The only one who seemed almost perfectly normal was Hinata.

But even though most of my friends were strange, they knew good looks when they saw them.

"Wow, Shino!" they would call out when I arrived at school. "You have beautiful eyes!"

"There's Shino," the parents would say. "He's so popular. And look at those gorgeous eyes!"

Well, Sasuke didn't say very much about my eyes. But I knew in his head he was thinking that they were great.

And they were. My eyes weren't just blue or green or red… They were all the colors of the rainbow! And when I smiled, they shimmered and sparkled. The chicks dug it.

Oh, sorry. That didn't sound like me there. Let me get back to the story...

I was walking to school one day, passing many people who always stopped to tell me how beautiful my eyes were, when suddenly I saw Naruto staring up at the sky.

"Nawuto!" Sakura said, hands on her hips. "You're gonna get huwt!"

"Nuh-uh," Naruto muttered, still looking up at the sky.

"What's going on?" I asked Sakura.

But it was Shikamaru who answered. "Nawuto's twying to see how wong he can wook at the sun." He shook his head. "So tubow-sum… Nawuto, your eyes'll get buwnt."

"Nuh-UH!" Naruto said, louder this time. He was still looking at the sun. "I won't weave until I beat Sasuke's recowd! I won't woose to you, Sasuke!"

"Hey, Shino!" Kiba called to me. "Why don't you twy beating Sasuke's recowd? It can't huwt you cause you have pewfect eyes!"

"I don't think so," I replied. It all looked pretty dumb to me.

"I dawre you," Ino said.

"No."

"I double-dawre you," Kiba said. Some Kindergarteners "ooh"-ed.

"No."

Then I heard a voice behind me. "I triple-dog-dare you."

All my friends let out large gasps, including Naruto, who had finally turned around from looking at the sun. I noticed his pupils looked a bit smaller but other than that, he looked fine.

I turned around myself to find three first-graders looking at us with their arms crossed. One was a boy, who had shiny black hair in a braid. The second was the only girl of the group, who had her hair up in buns like panda ears. The third was a boy, and he was the one who triple-dog-dared me. He had long hair that had a short ponytail at the end. He also had the clearest, whitest eyes I'd ever seen.

"Neji," I said.

"Shino," he said.

Back in the day, Neji and I were constantly in competition to see whose eyes were more stunning. All the first-graders in Neji's class thought his eyes were better, and all the Kindergarteners in my class thought my eyes were better. I guess this was the day that everyone found out for sure.

"I accept your challenge," I said to Neji. "I'll stare at the sun for exactly five minutes. And when I look away, my eyes will be completely unharmed."

"Impossible," Neji laughed. "You don't have Byakugan or Sharingan. With your simple eyes, you'll barely manage ten seconds."

I smirked, though no one could see it behind my turtleneck sweater. "Watch me."

So I did it. I went through with Neji's triple-dog-dare, and stared at the sun for not five minutes, but five minutes and six seconds. Smiling, I proudly turned around to accept applause from my fellow Kindergarteners and the look of defeat on Neji's face.

But the applause never came. As I looked around, I realized that everyone's face had shock and horror written all over them, rather than admiration. And then Neji laughed.

"Neji, that was nawt vewy nice," the first-grade girl said to him.

"It was nawt even his fawlt!" the first-grade boy with the braid added. "You were the one who gave him a twipo-dog-dawre!"

"I guess now we know whose eyes are superior," Neji said. "Come on, Tenten. Lee. Let's go." The three first-graders left, leaving me confused and a bit scared inside the circle of Kindergarteners.

"Shino…" Hinata whispered. Her eyes were wide and she looked scared.

"What?"

Naruto pulled out a small mirror from his backpack and tentatively handed it over to me. I looked into it, and screamed.

My eyes were no longer rainbow colors; instead, they were black, gray and white everywhere. My eyes didn't sparkle anymore, either. They were worse than regular eyes: they weren't colorful and beautiful anymore!

I smashed the mirror on the ground and fled from the scene, searching for the nearest sunglasses store. I could no longer walk proudly on the streets with beautiful eyes. I would have to hide them in shame.

"So, now you know the story about my eyes," Shino finished, looking around the classroom.

There was a pause, and then Konohamaru spoke up. "Shino, what does this have to do with being a ninja?"

"While Iruka-Sensei is out sick, you are to call me Aburame-Sensei while I'm subbing your class," Shino said to Konohamaru. "And this story is about how you can't win every battle you fight."

Moegi raised her hand and said, "No, you were answering Udon's question about why you wear sunglasses all the time."

Shino blinked (though no one knew), and then said, "Well, then, this is to teach you that you are to ask questions in class, no matter how stupid they are."

Udon raised his hand. "But class was over two hours ago."

Shino looked at the clock; what Udon said was true.

But before Shino could say anything, Udon spoke up again: "Aburame-Sensei, why does that Kankuro guy from Suna wear face paint all the time?"

"Well, I'll tell you. You see…"

"Not another flashback!" Konohamaru complained as everything suddenly turned to black and white.

It all began when Kankuro was a young boy…

A/N: You'll find out what happened to Kankuro in Temari's story that she's writing about why Kankuro wears face paint. It's so funny!

(Please note that when I say, "Temari" in the Author's Note, I really mean the other girl on the account of TentenNTemari whose favorite character is Temari. See our profile.)

Please review!