Harry sighed as he stared at the doors of the Great Hall. His head was lain down on the table and he hadn't even bothered eating yet. It was rare that he was one of the first students in the Great Hall for breakfast, but he couldn't sleep last night, and when he did get to sleep, he was woken right back up by another of his dreams and once he woke up, he couldn't get back to sleep; and that was an hour ago. It was a cold Saturday morning at the beginning of their seventh year. The defeat of Voldemort had been a tough one, but Harry made it through, alive, successfully. There had been many deaths, some of Harry's close friends and some innocents. He had been amazed when Snape had been ordered by Dumbledore to kill him in the event that Malfoy couldn't. The problem was Snape was being strange the whole year. He was giving Harry less hell and was even being a bit, dare Harry say, attentive. Harry snorted.
"What's funny, Harry?"
Turning his head, Harry's jade green eyes looked up through his crooked glasses at the sound of Ron's voice. "… Nothin." He replied and turned his head back, only this time to look at the teacher's table. His eyes met Snape's and Harry couldn't help but blush slightly.
Not only had Snape been less strict with Harry, but he had even begun to touch Harry innocently. Light touches to his shoulder, petting his hair, and even, dare Harry say again, giving him very tiny smiles. Now, Harry was a bit disturbed by these changes, but come December, he began to get used to these changes. He even began to smile back at Snape and return the touches when they were alone, and not because of detentions; but Harry decided he wanted to go into Potions after graduating, so he asked Snape to give him private tutoring and lessons whenever they both had time.
"I swear, if you speak one more time with food in your mouth, Ronald, I am going to cast a spell on you!" Hermione scolded from beside Harry.
"Sorry…" Ron blushed slightly and continued eating silently.
Hermione sighed and looked over at Harry. "Harry, have you eaten yet?"
"…. No?" Harry replied slowly, knowing Hermione would be mad at him.
"Why not? Breakfast is the mo-"
"Most important meal of the day, yeah I know." Harry finished her sentence, only to shrink back when his friend glared at him.
"Eat." She said and returned to her own breakfast.
The hero of the wizardry world sighed and sat up. Slowly, he piled muffins and carrot bread on his plate and nibbled on them.
~ Sorry seems to be the hardest word ~
Up at the teacher's table, Snape watched Harry slowly eat a light breakfast. He wondered what was wrong with the boy. The Dark Lord was gone, he never had to return to the Dursley's, and everything was back to normal. Or at least as normal as things could get after a psychopath tries to destroy the world. Sighing, the potions master hadn't even touched his own food. He hadn't slept very well last night as dreams of Harry's green eyes flooded his mind.
~ What do I gotta do, to make you love me?
What do I gotta do, to make you care?
What do I do, when lightning strikes me?
And I wake to find, that you're not there. ~
As he stared down at Harry, he felt warmth in his chest, not that he would admit it easily. You'd have to use the truth potion on him to make him admit his feelings for Harry. Snape wanted to apologize to the boy for having made the first many years of his days at Hogwarts hell, but he didn't know how to say 'I'm sorry'. He wasn't the apologetic type. He hoped Harry would understand what he was trying to say if he was nicer to him. But that was just as hard to do. So, he resorted to just giving light touches and less insults. He doubted if he even tried apologizing to Harry, the boy wouldn't listen to him.
The boy reminded him so much of James though, so he wasn't sure what to do to get his point across without offending Harry. As he stared down at Harry, he couldn't help smile ever so slightly. The boy was adorable in his own way when he was tired and pouting. Snape let the smile drop as the thought of calling Harry Potter cute or adorable registered in his mind. The professor scowled and looked away. He would never call the boy cute! That was just absurd!
But as the professor turned his head to look at Harry again, and saw the boy shrink back from Granger, he had to admit that he was handsome. He watched as Harry said something to his friends before standing up and walking out of the Great Hall. Hermione and Ron watched him with worried expressions, and that made Snape worried. His felt his chest tighten at the thought of something bothering his student. Without a word, Snape stood up from his seat and hurried out of the Great Hall through the side entrance to go look for Harry. As he rounded a corner, he felt something, or rather someone, bump into his chest.
Harry let out a soft gasp when his nose bumped into something black, and he promptly lost his balance. He closed his eyes to await the painful impact of the concrete ground, but it never came and he felt something warm around his waist. Slowly, the boy looked up and his eyes widened when they met with cold black orbs.
"P-Professor!"
Snape held back a smirk at Harry's surprised stutter.
"Potter." He replied.
The student stared up at the professor, as if expecting him to drop him. He raised an eyebrow at the boy. The youth blushed when he realized he was staring, and Snape had to smirk again.
"I… noticed you left the Great Hall without your friends." Snape said.
~ What do I gotta do to make you want me?
What do I gotta do to be heard?
What do I say when it's all over?
Sorry, seems to be the hardest word. ~
"Uh… yeah. I was… just going to the library to study for the upcoming exam in Potions." Harry lied. He looked down and noticed his hands on the Potions Master's chest and the hand around his waist still remained. Snape noticed as well and, simultaneously, they both pulled away from each other. Harry cleared his throat. "What about you, Professor? I noticed you didn't eat much."
Snape stood straight as his heart fluttered at the thought of Potter worried about him. "I never have much of an appetite in the morning, unlike your friend Weasley." He scowled in disgust.
Harry giggled and grinned. "Yeah, Ron's eating habits haven't always been the best."
"Will I be seeing you for more lessons tonight, Mr. Potter?" Snape asked.
"Yeah!" Harry blushed from embarrassment about seeming excited. "Yes sir. What time?"
"Seven will do."
Harry nodded his consent and backed up some. "I'll see you then, Professor."
Snape nodded and watched as Harry stepped to the side and walked past him. Unconsciously, his hand reached out and grabbed Harry's; and his eyes widened when he felt the warmth of Harry's hand in his. Harry stopped and looked at him. Slowly turning his head, Snape's eyes met Harry's. They stared at each other momentarily; and Harry tried to make out what the glint in his teacher's eyes was. He blinked when Snape opened his mouth to say something, only to slowly release his hand.
"Until then… Mr. Potter." And with the usual billow of his cloak, Snape walked away.
Harry was left behind confused and with a tingling, trembling hand. He stared after the black clothed back until it was out of sight and he continued onto the library to do what he had lied to his professor about.
~ It's sad.
So sad.
It's a sad, sad situation.
And it's getting more and more absurd. ~
As Harry walked into the library, his thoughts revolved around the warmth of Snape's hand in his. He'd always thought Snape's hands would be cold and rough, but they're actually warm and gentle. Slowly sitting down in a chair, he stared down at his hand. He could still feel the professor's hand in his. He continued to wonder why the professor had changed his view of him so suddenly. Was it because he defeated the Dark Lord and therefor saved Snape from more torture?
Harry wasn't sure how to react to Snape's sudden change of heart. And Harry wasn't sure he wanted to know why Snape was treating him differently. For the first six years of Harry student career, Snape had treated him like hell and insulted him every time they saw each other. Then again, Harry had always known deep down, he held some kind of affection for Snape. The man treated him differently than everyone else. He treated him like a normal person and not like some celebrity. That was what caught Harry's affection in the beginning.
Sure Snape isn't all that great looking, but he's a powerful wizard, and he has a deep voice that resonates in Harry's chest anytime they're alone. Harry sighed and closed his eyes, leaning back into the chair, pressing his hand to the heart that beat under his chest. After Snape had treated him so horribly in the past, Harry wasn't so sure Snape had honestly changed.
~ It's sad.
So sad.
Why can't we talk it over?
Oh it seems to me, sorry seems to be the hardest word. ~
"There he is."
Hermione's voice woke Harry up from his musings. He opened his eyes and watched as his friends approached him. He didn't realize he was still holding his hand to his chest.
"Harry, are you alright?" Hermione asked worriedly. She looked at his hand. "Did you hurt your hand?"
"Um… no. It's fine."
Ron stood behind Hermione. "Hey mate, you wanna play some chess?"
Harry grinned. "Sorry Ron. I actually came here to study."
Ron's eyes widened. "Study?"
Hermione rolled her eyes. "We have a test coming up for Potions! You should follow Harry's example and study as well."
Ron glared at Harry; but his friend only shrugged. "But Harry, how are you going to study without your books?"
Blushing some, Harry looked around and saw Ron was right. He didn't have his books. Chuckling some, he stood up. "You're right. I guess it wouldn't hurt to play a round of chess." Ron grinned happily while Hermione glared at him. Harry shrank back a bit. "W-What? Its just one round."
The girl rolled her eyes and pulled out her own books. "Have fun. Don't be too loud, I'm going to study."
The two boys grinned happily and walked to the chess board in the corner of the library. As they played, Harry's thoughts returned to Snape. He supposed Snape was trying to apologize for the last six years, but he wasn't sure how so he was acting nicer in a subtle way. Didn't the man know that the smallest apology could go a long way if you meant it? Letting out a soft sigh, Harry moved his knight to E6 and destroyed Ron's pawn. Ron stared down at the chess board and muttered a soft 'nice move, mate.'. Harry just shrugged.
~ What do I do to make you want me?
What do I gotta do to be heard?
What do I say when it's all over?
Sorry seems to be the hardest word. ~
Later that night, Harry wondered into the Potions classroom and saw the professor wasn't there. He blinked in surprise and looked down at his watch. "Its six fifty seven. Usually he's here before me." The boy whispered to himself. Walking further into the classroom, he sat down in the front desk and waited for the Potions Master's arrival. Another ten minutes past and Harry began to worry. "He did say seven."
Standing, Harry walked to the door to Snape's office and knocked softly. The door opened and Snape stared at him. "Ha-Potter?"
Harry blushed softly. "Uh... I was worried when you didn't come out at seven for the lesson tonight."
"Ah... yes. I was just... writing a letter. I'll be out in a moment. Get a cauldron and the ingredients for the truth serum." Snape said and shut the door.
Harry stared at the door blankly. 'Truth serum? Why would he want me to make that?' He thought, but went a head and opened his book to the right page and then gathered a cauldron and the ingredients. A few minutes later, Snape came out of his office and directed Harry and supervised him on making the truth serum. A couple hours went by and Harry bottled and stopped the test tube with the potion in it and handed it to Snape.
"Well done tonight, Potter." Snape said and placed the test tube on his desk. "Its past curfew, so I'll escort you to your dorm."
Harry nodded and gathered his things. Side-by-side, the two walked to the Gryffindor dormitory. Harry said the password and started to walk inside.
"Potter."
The boy stopped and turned to his professor. "Yes, Sir?"
Snape looked a bit frazzled before reaching into his cloak pocket and then handing Harry a parchment. Harry stared down at it before taking the parchment and looking up at his professor questioningly.
"J-Just read it. You don't have to right now, but... soon would be nice." He muttered before turning and with a billow of his cloak, walked back down the corridor.
Harry stared after him, confused for the second time that day. Shrugging, he turned and walked into the common room and up to his dormitory to go to bed.
The next day, he sat at breakfast, staring at the parchment. Hermione and Ron soon joined him.
"What's that, Harry?" Ron asked, stuffing his mouth with some toast.
"Ah... a letter I think." Harry replied and began opening it.
Hermione blinked. "From who? The owls haven't come yet."
"From Snape."
Both his friends' eyes widened. "Snape?" The exclaimed.
"Yeah. He gave it to me last night after our private lessons." Harry muttered and began reading it.
"What's it say?" Ron asked, leaning to read it as well, but Harry turned it away from him.
"Like I'd let you read a letter from Snape." Harry teased. "I'm going for a walk."
"Have you eaten?" Hermione asked.
"Yes, Hermione. I had some porridge and two pieces of toast." Harry sighed. His friend smiled satisfied. "See ya." He said, grabbing his bag and walking out of the Great Hall.
~ It's sad.
So sad.
It's a sad, sad situation.
And it's getting more and more absurd. ~
'Harry,
I know I have made these past six years hell for you, and I wish that I could take away everything I've ever said to you, called you or even done to hurt you. You are not James, and I realize it has taken me a long time to realize that. If anything, you are more like your mother than your father, except that bit if mischievousness I have seen inside you.'
Harry grinned at that. He had to admit, he was like his father in that area.
'This year, as you have realized, I have done my best to be... nice... to you.'
Harry snorted.
'It wasn't very easy. I still sometimes see your father when I look at you, and it frazzles me. But your eyes, you have Lily's eyes; and when I look into your green eyes, I see your mother, and it makes me, dare I say, happy. I feel its horrible for you to have to hide those beautiful eyes behind such ugly glasses.'
"Well sorry I can't afford better lens." Harry muttered and realized he was at the Black Lake. Sitting down beneath the tree, he continued reading.
'As I was saying, this year I have been trying my best to... apologize... to you. As you can tell, it is not easy for me to say 'I'm sorry', as I am resorting to writing a letter to you rather than saying it to your face. Sorry seems to be the hardest word to say, for such a duo syllable word. This situation I am in, seems so very sad. I wish to talk this over with you and be able to say 'I'm sorry' to your face. But I do not know how.'
Harry's heart seemed to speed up. 'Snape wants to apologize for treating me so horribly?' Harry never would have imagined this day would come.
~ Its sad.
So sad.
Why can't we talk it over?
Oh it seems to me, sorry seems to be the hardest word!~
'And Harry, there's one other thing that makes it hard for me to apologize to you. I have... special... feelings for you, it seems. My affections have caused me to touch you without even thinking about it. Your green eyes appear in my dreams at night, making me lose sleep. So Harry, if you wish to speak to me, I will be in the Potions lab Saturday night, waiting for you.
Sincerely,
Severus Snape'
Harry blushed as he read the last paragraph. "Holy Merlin... Severus Snape has feelings for me?" 'Saturday night, that's tomorrow night.' Harry thought. He folded up the letter and slipped it into his cloak before standing with his bag and running back to the school. 'I'm not sure I can wait a whole day to talk to him! To think that Snape has feelings for me as well, this better not be a dream!'
Glancing up at the clock tower, he realized there was still twenty minutes before first class, that wouldn't be enough time to get to the dungeons and talk to Snape. Harry felt dejected and sat down on a bench in the courtyard. He took out the letter and looked at it again, smiling happily at the last paragraph.
"Potter, you'll catch a cold if you stay out here any longer."
Harry looked up and saw Snape. "Professor..." He stood up.
Snape glanced down at the letter and held down a blush. "You've... read it, I take it?"
Harry blushed and nodded. "I don't want to wait until tomorrow to talk, Professor."
Snape sighed. "You have classes soon, Mr. Potter."
"But-"
Snape let the tiniest smile on his lips. "I'll still be here tomorrow, Harry. Its not the end of the world, not anymore at least."
Harry's eyes widened when his professor called him by his name and smiled at him. "When should I be there?"
"Seven will do." Snape replied. Harry smiled as Snape made it seem like they were meeting for private lessons again. "And dress warmly, its supposed to be very cold down in the dungeons tomorrow night."
Harry nodded. "Sir...c-can I hug you?"
Snape raised an eyebrow, before glancing around, blushing a light pink. Slowly, he opened his arms and nearly fell over when Harry suddenly jumped into his chest, hugging his neck. Snape's eyes widened some, but he wrapped his arms around Harry's middle and held him close and tight, nuzzling into his neck and breathing in deeply. He nearly swooned when Harry's scent teased his senses. Slowly, the released each other and backed away as students began walking through the corridors.
"Um... see you in class." Harry said and picked up his things.
Snape nodded and watched him go to his first class and decided he should probably go to the dungeons if he wanted to be there before the students.
~ Sorry! ~
All through the day, Harry was bouncing off the balls of his feet, anticipating tomorrow night. Hermione and Ron had to stop him from just running through the halls and nearly running over the other students.
"Harry, mate, what's got your panties all in a bunch?" Ron exclaimed, panting some from catching up to his friend.
Harry just smiled happily, feeling like he was on top of the world.
"Maybe he finally got a girlfriend." Hermione suggested, walking up to them calmly.
Harry just shook his head. "Maybe I'll tell you two later." He said before taking off down the corridor again.
"Aw! Come on!" Ron whimpered and sat down against the stone wall.
Hermione just watched after him. "Goodness... he seems to be on top of the world happy about something."
"You think he got into the auror academy?"
"Harry doesn't want to be an auror, remember? He wants to teach Potions."
"Oh yeah. Maybe Snape is finally being nice to him."
Hermione glanced down at him. "... Snape... nice?" They both burst out laughing.
The next night, Harry run down the stairs to the dungeons just before seven. His heart was racing with anticipation and his blood was boiling with adrenaline and joy. Skidding to a stop, he opened the Potions' classroom door and stepped inside. The room was once again empty, so he tried the professor's office. "Professor?"
The door opened and Snape smiled at Harry. "Right on time. You've been better about that this year."
Harry smiled. "What can I say? The sooner I get here the more time I get to spend with you." He giggled at the light flush on the usually stoic professor's face. He stepped inside when the Professor stepped aside to allow him entry.
~ What do I do to make you love me?
What do I gotta do, to be heard?
What do I say when lightning strikes me? ~
Harry sat down in one of the chairs in front of Snape's desk as Snape sat down behind the desk. "So... what did you want to talk about?" Harry asked softly.
"I think you know Harry." Snape whispered back.
The youth sighed and shifted some, pushing his glasses up his nose.
"Take them off."
Harry blinked. "Huh?" He blushed when he figured Snape was talking about his clothes. "B-But-"
"Your glasses, Harry. Take your glasses off." Snape smirked at the heated blush on his student's cheeks.
"O-Oh..." Harry whispered and took the thin framed glasses off his face, he looked up at Snape and squinted.
"Would you like me to correct your eye-sight?" Snape asked, picking up his wand.
"You can do that?" Harry could almost see the vein throbbing in Snape's temple.
"Yes... Harry... you can do that." The Potions professor replied.
"Would you like me more without glasses?" Harry asked.
The professor blinked a moment, blushing a bit himself. "Harry... I would like you with or without glasses. I don't necessarily like you for your looks, I like you for who you are."
Harry stared at the professor. "Even though I'm James and Lily's son?"
"Harry, if you weren't James and Lily's son and still acted the way you do, I would probably still fall for you."
Harry smiled. "Okay! You can fix my eye sight then. Glasses are a pain in the butt."
Snape sighed and began to wonder how he had fallen for the boy in the first place. He whispered a spell and flicked his wrist and soon Harry could see the professor clearly. Blinking, he folded his glasses and put them in his pocket.
"Now then... about... my apology." Snape stuttered a moment, looking away.
Harry stood and walked around the desk. "Don't worry, Professor. I understand." He smiled.
Snape looked up at him, turning his chair so that he faced Harry. "You understand?"
Harry smiled and nodded. "Yeah. You and I are a like in a way. We have problems saying apologies to people we used to not like, but over the years, we get used to them, unless we really, really dislike them. Kind of like you and my dad."
~ What have I gotta do?
What have I gotta do?
And sorry seems to be... the hardest... word. ~
Snape smiled, but looked down to hide it. "My... you've grown up a lot Harry."
"Well... when you're fighting a psychopathic serial killer who's trying to take over both the wizardry and muggle world, you kind of have to grow up faster than most."
Snape looked up and hugged Harry around the waist, sighing as he felt gentle, warm hands threading through his hair. Closing his eyes, he listened to the muffled heart beat which was a bit faster than it should be, but he figured it was because of their close proximity. Looking up, he saw Harry's warm smile and pulled the youth closer to stand between his legs.
"As I thought, you look better without glasses. Your eyes just stand out like a jewel."
"Why Professor, was that a compliment?"
"Don't get used to it, Brat."
Harry chuckled. "I won't." He leaned down. "S'long as you don't get used to being able to hold me like this. I do have friends."
"I could always kidnap you to my chambers at night."
"Ooh. So the potions master does have a dark criminal side."
"I've been known to be an evil bat bastard."
The two stared at each other, then slowly smiled happily and their lips met softly once, twice, and the third kiss was more passionate than a newly wedded couple at their wedding.
The End
MARRY CHRISTMAS MOM!