If Only
This is my first Castle story. First real story I've tried to write as well.
I totally don't own Castle. Never will. Sadly. -_-
Obsession
Lately things at the precinct hadn't been the same since Richard Castle had been following Beckett. They used to be able to smile, or laugh at one of Castle's random ass jokes during a hard case. Yet, now Castle was hardly ever around. Not that Esposito or Ryan blamed the guy. They both understood why he followed Beckett, it wasn't about the books. It hadn't been for the longest time. They both knew that the man was practically writing her love letters, yet still all she did was hold onto him and give him just enough for hope. It was getting a little sad about how much she seemed to need him, yet at the same time not need him. If he got too close, she'd push him away and act like nothing happened. There was only so much a man could take. Ryan and Esposito figured she learned her lesson after the whole Demming thing, but apparently not. Since the whole freezer and nearly blowing up into a thousand pieces, Castle's been distancing himself. It was like everyone at the precinct seemed to notice just not the one who needed to.
It was already 10:30 am and Castle wasn't at the precinct. It's been nearly two weeks since they were almost frozen to death in each other's arms. Two weeks since she walked away with Josh rather than Castle. Since then, Castle had given her more space than ever. Space, for once, that she didn't want; she couldn't blame him. She's kept him at arm's length for so long, but she's been so worried about her own limits that she didn't realize she just maybe had pushed him passed his own limits. Beckett was just about to open her mouth and ask Ryan and Esposito if they heard anything from Castle when Ryan's cell phone went off. Her eyes widened slightly, instantly recognizing the ring tone it was…Castle. "Why the hell was he calling Ryan instead of me?" Beckett thought as Ryan gave her a slightly hesitant look before he answered the phone. "Castle, man, where are you?" said Detective Ryan as he leaned back in his computer chair as he nodded his head listening to Castle talk. He had to turn his chair away from facing Beckett as look of hurt flashed across her face before it was gone- just as quickly as it appeared. For two people who were so clever at solving murders they couldn't even see what was right in front of them. "Dunderheads." Ryan thought suddenly before his mind returned its focus back to Castle. "Yeah, Yeah, I'm listening. Alright, I'll let Beckett know. We still on for poker tonight? Alright sweet. Have fun at your meeting." Ryan then hung up his phone returning it back to his proper place, which of course was in his pocket. He turned back around facing Beckett, who had a slightly questioning look on her face, yet at the same time she was trying to look like she didn't care where Castle was. But they all knew the truth, since Castle's been doing the disappearing act on them; Beckett's been not so pleasant to be around. "Castle won't be in today, he's got a meeting with his publisher." Ryan told Beckett, who just shrugged her shoulders as if saying "whatever".
The blaring alarm going off in the early morning hours woke Castle up from his deep sleep. Looking up squinting at the red numbers it read 6:30 a.m. Castle yawned and rolled over after hitting the alarm clock with enough force that it fell from the nightstand. Getting up and stretching, Castle picked up his alarm clock and put it back on the nightstand. As he took a closer look at it, he saw it was cracked and almost to the point of breaking. "Time to get a new one." He thought before letting out a small yawn. Castle had another long night again. The last few weeks he's been hit with inspiration to write. Yet, it wasn't his normal type of writing. It was darker, darker than his last book where he killed Derrick Storm, not that he's killed off Nikki Heat… or is even considering it. He just couldn't allow himself to walk away from Nikki Heat…from Kate Beckett, the extraordinary KB. Deciding to wake himself up some more, he jumped into the shower then back out to dry off and get ready for his meeting with Gina. As soon he was done eating, he brushed his teeth and rinsed. Finally adding the finishing touches, he put on his shoes and was out the door at 7:00. Now meeting with his publisher Gina, aka his ex-wife, wasn't his favorite way to spend an entire day; they had plenty of things to discuss. They wanted him to write three more Nikki Heat books, and Castle wasn't completely sure he couldn't handle writing three more books based on Beckett. He thought, "One more at the most. Maybe by then I've distanced myself enough out of her life, that I could continue my own." Along with that, they had the movie to discuss and then, of course, she wanted him to do a book tour….which Castle was totally against. He didn't have that much longer till his daughter, Alexis, was going off to college. He shuddered at the thought of his baby girl leaving him; he had more than a year left. Still, just the thought of him being all alone and his baby girl out there in the real world drove him crazy. Close to 10:30, Castle finally got a break from the meeting with Gina. She was driving him crazy; the whole company was driving him crazy. They were trying to get him sign a contract were he would write three more Nikki Heat books, rather just the one more he was willing to write. He just couldn't promise them three more. He let out a frustrated sigh as he ran a hand through his hair before digging into his pocket and calling Ryan. After his phone call with Ryan, Castle was forced into another hour full of discussions. They have only come to agreements about the tour and, of course, the simple discussions about the movie. The book issue was totally another story. The only thing they agreed about it was they'd talk about it again at a later date. Castle had never been more grateful to finally escape from the Black Pawn and Gina.
Castle took a deep breath once outside the doors and slowly let it out. Finally he was free. All he wanted to do now was to go to the Old Hunt and hide out in his basement for a while. "Hey! Are you Richard Castle?" A young man, who looked about 25, was calling out to Castle. He wore a black ball cap with a symbol of Monster Energy Drinks, and a pair of aviator sunglasses. Castle's shoulders slumped as he pivoted on the balls of his feet, turning towards the man who was stopping him from his freedom. He really wasn't in the mood for chit chat or for anyone's company at all. Yet, that didn't stop him from flashing the man his winning Richard Castle smile; the smile didn't reach his eyes as it once did a few years ago. "That I am. Can I help you with something?" The man gave Castle the most eerie smile he had ever seen, and then reached into his jacket. Seeming rather harmless, Castle was used to people pulling things out of their jackets and asking him to sign them. His eyes widened slightly as he quickly realized that this wasn't the case. The young man had pulled out a pistol, and before Castle even had the chance to even react, the man shot him. For a second, Castle didn't even remember how he got onto the ground. As he blinked back a few tears that threatened to slip down his cheek, that's when he felt the burning hot white pain that left him gasping. Castle was having trouble focusing on anything else besides the pain until a blurry figure stood over him; his face was all scrunched up in hate as he spoke so coldly, "Tell Derrick Storm, I said hi." Then Castle felt nothing.
Reviews please. Honest ones. Hate it. Love it. Just be honest I can take it. :D