Title: The Origins of Hugo OR 'A Drunken Adventure With A Muggle Encyclopedia'
Author: Samaside
Rating: G
Characters: Ron Weasley, Harry Potter, Dean Thomas, Seamus Finnigean, Dennis Creevey, Neville Longbotton, George Weasley, Percy Weasley, Aberforth Dumbledore,
Disclaimer: The characters and storyline off which this story is based are the sole property of JK Rowling and her publishing companies.
Summary: A drunken night at the Hog's Head reveals the originis of Hugo Weasley's name.
AN: Definately not my best work. I wrote this at around 3AM after a converstation with a friend. This is the result.
With a heavy thud twenty-six volumes of a Muggle encyclopedia were unceremoniously piled on to a dingy table in the back corner of the Hog's Head. Dean Thomas heaved for a moment recovering from the physical effort while Seamus Finnigean panted dramatically. The men at the next table laughed and then waved them over passing them tankards of firewhisky.
"What's all this then?" Ron Weasley asked, motioning towards the mountain of books. "You really think those are going to help?"
Dean shrugged. "Harry brought that atrocious book of pureblood families and Dennis brought an old edition of an American television guide. I don't suppose they'll hurt. It's not like you guys came up with anything while we were gone."
Which, was true. While the two of them had gone off to "borrow" the encyclopedia from a local muggle library, the others had spent most of their time sucking down tankard after tankard of firewhisky and butterbeer. Baby name books lay strewn across the table, most being used as coasters at this point. It had been three hours and none of them had come up with a name for the newest addition to the Weasley brood. Granted, they still had about a month to go but neither Ron nor Hermione had gotten anywhere so the boys had taken it upon themselves to sit Ron down, get him drunk, and finally name the child.
"I fully expect my nephew and godson to have a very-" George Weasley pasued a moment to hiccup "- manly name. Like... Hannibal or Maximus. I like Maximus. Maximus?"
There was a round of laughter and then another round of drinks. Another hour passed and yielded nothing more than Dennis Creevey learning the words to Odo the Hero and Percy and George setting off a round of fireworks causing Aberforth to shout and curse from behind the bar before chasing them both out into the night.
"You know," Seamus finally slurred as the night began to threaten to turn into day. "What we need... what me... we need is a way to summon a name."
Neville laughed from under the table. "He-he said 'wee'."
Ron snorted at both Neville and the idea. "Yeah, 'Accio Name'!" he joked, waving his wand about haphazardly.
In a moment there was a loud crash and Ron fell over backwards in his chair. Something heavy had hit him straight in the chest and sent him barrelling backwards on to the floor. Harry jumped up and rushed to his side to find him quite fine and laughing. He passed the book to Harry.
"Read it," he said. "I can't even see straight any more."
He scanned the page and found at the top if of it: The Hunchback of Notre Dame.
"The Hunchback of Notre Dame," he read aloud.
Neville snorted and laughed again. "Notre DAMN. Geddit? Do-do ya geddit?"
Harry continued. "By Victor Hugo-"
"MY SON WILL NOT BE NAMED VIKTOR!" Ron shouted drunkenly. It was the first time he had asserted himself all night.
"What about Hugo?" Seamus asked with a snicker. "Hugo."
"Do it," Dean added. "Do it. I dare you."
"Hermione would never go for that," Harry said skeptically.
Neville piped up again. "He said 'doo.' 'Doo it.'"
"No, no, Harry," Ron said standing up again, staggering as he did. "I-I like it. Hugo. Hugh-Go. Huuuuuuugo. Go. I-I hearby declare this child Hugo Frederick Weasley."
He then promptly passed out.
"'derick. Drick. Dick," chortled Neville. "He said 'dick.'"