Disclaimer: I do not own Superman, Batman, or any other DC comics superheroes that appear in this story. They and all other parts of this fictional universe belong to DC entertainment.
"This is a bad idea."
"No, it's a good one. We get them to talk it over and they won't fight on missions or during meetings."
"They're not here."
"Really? How do you know?"
"I checked the monitors. Ralph's with his wife in Opal City, solving a mystery with Starman. Eel's on a mission with Steel and Gardner."
"Then we could call them for a secluded, important meeting. Just the four of us."
"Define 'important.'
"A meeting where we announce something, whereas it's actually a way for them to settle their issue."
"They won't like it."
"Do you want this to get more out of hand?"
"…No."
"Then it's settled."
"You're telling them."
"Why can't you? You're Eel's mentor."
"Because then it'd be my idea. And it's really yours."
The Watchtower teleporter buzzed to life with cyan energy, and a moment later was covered by a peculiar hero. Dressed in purple-white spandex and black boots and gloves, the ginger-haired man – Ralph Dibny - turned to the hallway and then stretched into it. The translucent tiles and darker grey looked the same as ever, with a window or two to showcase Earth and the stars now and then. But what really made the Elongated Man feel at home was inevitably seeing the other heroes he'd come to know as friends.
He soon came to a fork in the hallway, immediately puzzled. Most times he went to the right for the rooms he frequented: the common area, the workout center, or even the mess hall was what followed. But Superman had specifically told him to come to a barely-used conference room. And that was on the left. So why?
"Not like it's the end of the world or anything," he mused out loud, immediately stretching in the direction of the destination. No sooner had he gotten to the door and entered inside than he noticed Superman AND Batman were there, along with a coffee mug on the table. Like normal, one looked warm and the other…icy cold.
"Hey guys," Elongated Man exclaimed. He walked to the conference table and clutched a chair. "You two rang for something?"
Immediately, Superman's eyes darted to the side. "Not…exactly."
"Huh?" Elongated Man was confused.
Batman grunted. "We called two of you."
"You got that right!" A voice exclaimed from the table. All three turned to see the red-and-black mug start bouncing and dancing, and before long, watched it stretch up and out into a living, breathing person. It was there the figure revealed himself to be none other than the cartoonish Plastic Man, lanky figure and big goggles included.
Elongated Man's previous demeanor soured. "You called him?"
"Precisely," Batman replied.
"Let's just sit down," Superman added with raised hands.
Both men looked at each other in sour moods, but relented to grunts and moved to their seats. Elongated Man folded his arms, where Plastic Man conversely bent forwards so much, his chin melted onto the table in a cartoonish display of taunting.
The World's Finest looked at each other for a second. Coughing, Superman cupped his hands in a gesture of hopefulness. "Let me just start by saying that we agreed to convene here today to address an issue. And addressing it doesn't de-value either of you in any way."
"Understood, Superman," Elongated Man pointed out. "But's what's the problem?"
The blue boy scout turned to the dark knight, a signal to address it himself. "The problem is both of you. Your interactions over the last few weeks have been…unpleasant."
Plastic Man yawned. "You mean us arguing like we're married? I can bounce with that."
"We don't argue like we're married," Elongated Man suggested. "And I actually happen to be married."
"Geez, elongated scrooge!" Plas exclaimed sarcastically. "Thought I heard Flash spewing the other day that you were light-hearted, but I guess I was wrong."
The other elastic hero banged a fist on the table. "Well, maybe I would be if I didn't have to put up with your unnecessary wackiness!"
"All right, let's just-" Superman began.
"Wackiness?! EM, that's literally my most attractive quality!"
"Attractive isn't the word I'd use," Elongated Man shot back. "More like annoying!"
Plas' face contorted into a harder, grimmer appearance with sharper hair. "That's what you think, do ya? Well, okay, bub…"
"Enough." The Bat had spoken, and both stretchy men quieted down into their seats. "The two of you need to stop bickering. You're Justice Leaguers. Heroes. The more problems that you have with each other, the more problems all of us will have working together. I and Superman are going to leave the two of you alone, and you will work out your differences by then."
"But-" Elongated Man began.
"Now. Come back to us by the end of the day." The living avenger of darkness swooshed his cape and disappeared past the door. Superman unfolded his arms, giving a weak smile.
"You heard him." And then he left as well, speeding off right before the door closed.
"That was productive," Plastic Man pointed out as the echo from the door closing went across the space of the room.
It took most of Ralph's inner control not to chuck his elbow at him.
Some seconds of silence passed. Already bored, Plastic Man walked up to the window and pushed his face amongst it in laziness. It oozed right down to where his pelvis would've been on the plexiglass.
"Could you please not do that? Elongated Man asked, grossed out a little.
Plas' face reformed and he turned back to the table. "Sorry, is that bothering you because it's annoying? Or is it because you can't do it?"
"That-that has nothing to do with this!" Ralph leaned back in his seat and folded his arms. "It just seems like you have the shortest attention span of anyone in the league."
Undaunted, Eel strolled back to his seat. "Is that really such a bad thing?"
"Well…the league doesn't need two stretchy people."
An undaunting, white smile stretched crookedly from Plastic Man's lips. "And THERE it is!"
"Seriously? I'm being honest!" Ralph. "I'd like to see you be honest on a mission or two."
"Right. You're being honest," blasted back Plastic Man, stretching his face to mimic a certain man with a Russian gaze. "Where was honesty when you were calling me out during Brainiac's attack last month? Or just now? How about I be honest?"
"…Fine," Elongated Man conceded, and without any thoughts, held his hands out. "Go ahead."
"Don't mind if I do." The rubber hero moved just so he was to the back of the room, then allowed his arms to flex about in a variety of shapes and poses. "The thing is, Ralph, I've been at this game for a while. I've been working for the FBI, I screwed up, I even made myself forget that I was a hero. And through all that, Batman and the League kept me on. Not because of my powers, but because I was being myself when it came to helping people."
"Even though you were a criminal," he added.
"Yeah, I was a criminal, but I got better, now didn't I?" Plas stretched closer, and as he did so, took on the appearance of a doctor with his trademark colors. "Say, is that really your issue with this all? Because I feel like I need to get to the bottom of it."
"Look, there's not some bigger issue at play here," Elongated Man started. "So why-"
"I make you insecure." The words dropped from Plastic Man's mouth out nowhere, but the aftershock was apparent. Uncharacteristically, Elongated Man's body rippled for a moment as it were unstable.
"No! Why – okay, that is not-"
"Yeah, maybe not all the way," Plas pointed out, "but…I'm just saying, I can do a lot more than you. Sure, you're a good detective and respected hero, it's just-"
"Fine!" Elongated Man stood up and walked to the window, staring into the black with his reflection looking back. "Some…part of what you said is true. I've been insecure whenever I see you. Yes, we're different in what we act like and look, but I can't help but feel that someday, the other guys will value your more. That's… the truth."
In his moment of openness and embarrassment, he covered up his face with his arms, but didn't notice two large hands patting him on the shoulders.
"Then you don't have to. I'm not trying to one-up you, dude," Plastic Man pleaded with the sincerest face he could muster. "You ever considered just trying to be friends?"
Ralph looked up, and for once, the cartoonish goggles and childish face didn't bother him as much. "Yeah…I…could consider that."
"Now that's more like it!" Plas yelled merrily, letting his torso swirl into a series of loops. "I knew it'd take you a while, but we got here! Yay!"
"Hold on," Elongated Man interrupted quizzically. "Are you telling me you went all doctor Phil just to get me to like you?"
"…Yeah? How else weren't you going to get to know me, gingold brain?
That caused Elongated Man to chuckle. "You sure are a clown…but a good one."
"And I'm going to be the one to see Supes and Bats first! See ya!" He began stretching off to the door, but was immediately cut off by Elongated Man getting in his way.
"Uh, no. That's me. Lemme-"
"Hey, I was first!"
"Not if I-
"Quit it!"
In their bickering to report to their superiors, the two's purple and red bodies began to interlock and tangle upon each other over and over. When the stretching began to strain, the two stopped bickering, and then could do nothing as they were sucked in on their bind of a bodily union. A purple stomach here, a red limb here; the two might've been labeled a living ball of yarn and that would be that.
Then, with the worst possible timing in the whole world, the World's Finest arrived back through the door, finding the sight before them and stopped in shock.
"Oh…hiya, guys…" Plastic Man wheezed out. "I know this looks bad, but we at least made some progress!"
"He started it!"
Superman allowed his eyes to roll up. Batman grunted annoyedly.
"You want to take this?"
A/N: Thanks for reading!
I'm a big fan of Plastic Man and Elongated Man, and have a lot stories that I wanted to do about them, but this one was special to do. There was a scene in Alex Ross's "Justice" where the two argue, and I felt a little closure to it would be nice. If Ralph seems OOC, it's probably because of the issue at hand, but also because Ross's version of him.
In the future, I promise that mores stories focused on Elongated Man, Plastic Man, and other elastic heroes will arrive for your viewing.