Because f*ck you, rule 34!

Nah, I'm just kidding. A challenge from a friend saying that I'd have to write a fic about FN F using my own ridiculous genre of stupidity. I dunno, maybe I'll go with his idea while maintaining the typical scary-genre of the game. It's not up to me to decide if this is a good idea or not, but the internet is such a deviding place.

Anyway, thank you for reading, stay golden, stuff like that. I hope you all like.

Five nights At Freddy's does not belongs to me. Thank you very much.

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~~X~~

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"Oh God! Oh god! Where are they?!" At the Freedy Fazbear's pizzeria, once a happy and colorful family restaurant with funny animatronics and cheerful children everywhere turned into a rundown and haughty place, a young man with blue eyes, light skin and brown hair, wearing a typical security cap and uniform, was frenetically looking at his small security-pager, tapping every place in that small map to look through the lenses of the small cameras around the place. "The Pirate Cove is clear*CHANGE!*... Freddy is still on stage, Chica is probably in the kitchen and Bonnie is..."

*CHANGE!*

"Where the fuck is Bonnie?!" He screamed, now tapping his pager-screen like a madman, trying to find the missing animatronic. In a second, it was in the corridor, and in the next one, it was gone. The poor security guard took a quick glance at both of the doors in each side of his little office, and hesitantly tapped the light button for each one. The first one...

... Nothing.

The second one...

... Also nothing.

He sighed, so much adrenaline, so much dark thoughts. He took a deep breath, and looked ar his pager again. Pirate Cove still safe, Chica in the party room, Freddy still on stage and Bonnie right at the left side of his office...

...

WHAAAAAT?!

"Oh shit! Ou shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit!" The young security guard practically jumped out of his chair, dropping his pager and some empty cups of coffee. It would probably leave a stain, and the manager would probably complain about it, but the hell with that! His own life was at risk! Once out of his seat, the brunette dashed to the left door of his office and, with all the might he could gather in that second, punched that goddamn button, closing the door shut!

*PUNCH!*

*CLOSE!*

And after that, silence...

With only his beloved ventilator, his little freddy and Co. Plushies and phone, he was at the mercy of silence for the time being...

When suddenly...

...

"Waaaaaah~...!" A meak, girly scream echoed through the corridors of the pizzeria, followed by quick and rather light steps on the floor. Hearing the menacing figure going away, the security guard let out a sighed, opening the door again. It was a crazy idea, but if he wanted to live through the night, he would have to save energy... That for some reason... Keeps the doors shut instead of open...

... Who designed this place?!

So, anyway, back to his seat, the brunette was taking small glances at the camera-views, trying to spot another possible threat, but in the end, he ended up looking through the lenses of the Stage camera, where he could see a tall, pretty, busty and curvilious young lass in a bunny suit, complete with fluffy pompom tail and rabbit ears sprouting out of her long, purple hair. She was crying on the shoulder of another beautiful lass, that one with short, spiky brown hair covered by a tall top hat, and wearing a white leotard and button-up shirt under a black jacket, a few buttons open to reveal a generous amount of cleavage. A bowtie decorating the area around her neck.

"Waaah~! Freddy! Mike shut the door right into my face!" The bunny girl screamed, her tears running down her pale face and wetting the suit of the other brunette. Through the camera, the security lad, Mike, could only sighed, seeing 'Freddy' patting the other's head.

"There, there. No need to cry, Bonnie. Mikey is just shy." The lady in poker-like suit said, further diving the bunny girl, Bonnie, into her shoulder. Then, she shot her eyes back to camera. "See what you did, Mike?! You made Bonnie cry, you jerk!"

"Hey, she's the one trying to kill me!" Mike said through the microphone.

"She's just trying to snuggle you! We've been alone for decades, and you're kinda cute! C'mon, just one night!"

"Hah! No, thank you, I like my pelvis bones just the way they are: intact and unbroken!"

"But I have to say, mr. Schmidt, that was very rude of you."

"EEEK!" Screaming a less-than-manly squeak, the security guard closed his pager-vision and clicked to the lights of the right corridor, revealing another, seemingly more mature girl behind the window, this one with short, curly and blond hair, black eyes and wearing a white apron with the words 'LET'S EAT!' Written on it... And nothing else. Mike quickly smashed the button of the right door, closing it shut. "Stay away from me, Chica!"

"I brought cake and coffee. I figured you'd be hungry and thristy by this time of the night. C'mon, let me in!" The girl said through the window, holding the treats in every hand. As much as he'd love to eat those, Mike was sure that it was just a Plan for her to get inside of his office... And his pants.

"No. Sorry, but no deal."

"Awww~..."

"Now, if you excuse me..." He said as he shifted to his little Pager, checking Pirate Cove once more, seeing a girl with wild and red hair, an eyepatch over one eye and wearing a worn-out orange shirt with jeans pouting at the camera. Mike sighed once more. With that much of energy, he had a slight chance of survival. "... I have to end my shift for today."

"Oh, hoh, so that's how we're gonna play it? I like it..." Freddy said, looking at the camera.

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~~X~~

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So, yeah... I should have chosen washing dishes, I should have chosen cleaning the toilets. At least those were at the day shift. But no, I chose be the security guard of the Midnight shift at Freddy's. A small, simple and seemingly easy, if not underpaid, job. Just sitting around, looking at the places, taking look over the creepy animatronics Freddy, Chica and Bonnie, and just lie around until 6 AM. No big deal, right? Well, yeah, on the outside. However, on the inside... Things are pretty ugly.

You see, if The bite of 87 wasn't enough for this rundown pizzeria, some guy from the phone, a fellow worker before me, said that those animatronics come to life every night, wondering around, doing Idunnowut. The catch is, when all the lights are down, those creepy, ugly, hideous animatronics turns into... Cute, beautiful girls. Cute, beautiful, sex-hungry girls, that will attack any male on sight and, according to the phone guy, suck me dry at best and break my pelvis at worst. In short, they'll kill me, or just leave in a very "unconfortable situation". Yeah, right...

However, as long as I keep my eye on them, they promise they won't move an inch, and if the clock reaches 6AM, I'm free. It's like a sick version of GLRL, and those girls are Loving it. Well, I'm not gonna die of sexual intercourse with robots (holy shit, what kind of twisted, sick fucker can proudly declare otherwise?!). For the sake of my... 120 dollars, I'll Survive in this sick game...

My name is Mike Schmidt, and I'm the security Guard of Freddy Fezbear's Pizzeria.

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~~X~~

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And... That's that. I dunno, challenges are difficult do to. I'm playing the game right now, and I must say, the game can be scary at times with all those Lores, theories, rumors and jumpscares, but honestly I can't figure what all these hype is about. Maybe with the sequel, we can have a really good look at it without much of a scare.

I dunno, honestly, I liked the result. So, what do you guys think? Should I continue? For the sake of the furries around this site?