Author's note: nothing about the Naruto series is my intellectual property - just this story.

You make me so angry sometimes.

I know it is a dreadful thing to say, but it is true.

You know about my penchant for proper grammar, yet you continue to tack that awful "-ttebayo" suffix to every other sentence. I can tell you talk this way with me on purpose by the glint in your eyes. It taunts me, 'Nyah, nyah, Bushy Brow!'

You simply had to give me that stupid nickname.

You are very excitable and loud. I know I am not really one to talk on this subject. I am an overly emotional creature and can be very vocal, but you take it to the extreme. Your spastic displays rival my teacher's histrionics.

You are a terrible listener. For that matter, you are a horrible observer. Everyone knew of the Byakugan-wielding heiress's feelings for you... except you. That poor girl adored you for years just to be brushed away like a bug or a piece of garbage. I never knew a person could be as oblivious as you are. It is because you have such a one track mind.

Because of your pinpoint focus on what you concern yourself with, you are impulsive and selfish.

You are so very selfish.

You never think before you act. You rush off on your own and stupidly try to take on missions and fights that could kill you if you attempt them alone. Those who care for you and wish for your safety do not once enter your mind when you do this. Sometimes those same people stand to be hurt because your actions have required them to help extricate you from a dangerous situation.

But even that I can forgive. Your focus and passion are things I admire about you. Theatrical behavior and idiosyncratic speech patterns are things we have in common. These things make our relationship unique.

However, what enrages me to no end and what I cannot forgive is this: You have the heart of the most skilled, sweet, brilliant, strong, soulful, empathetic, complex, challenging, sensual, lovely and amazing woman in the world, and you do not seem to care in the slightest!

I know very well how wonderful she is because she was once mine.

I once felt the unadulterated euphoria of holding her perfectly curved body close to mine and hearing my name on her breath.

I once had consent to stroke her face and let the smell of her hair ensnare my spirit in a pink web.

I once had free roam across her velvet skin.

I was once her partner in crime and her lover.

I was once the one she chose.

I was never able to content her, though. No matter how hard I worked, I failed to make her happy.

One day, she told me she did not want me anymore. She had been enamored of you all along, she said. I was forced to let her walk out of my life. I could not keep her caged, away from the joy she deserved.

Instead of giving her what she has wished for ever since the two of you met, you have grossly neglected her, continuing to chase after that despicable traitor you call your friend.

I have seen the despair on her beautiful face when she watches you run away from her and toward him time after time. It is nearly impossible to bear, and equally as difficult to not take her in my arms and dry her tears myself.

You may have gotten the girl this time, but you have also allowed yourself to become complacent and distracted. You do not give her what she needs each and every day to survive - attention, respect, support, companionship, love. I gave her these things to the best of my ability, and it still was not enough, but she is smitten with you. Do not take that for granted. Soon enough, she will grow tired of crying. She will grow tired of hurting.

I do not care that you are my friend or that she does not love me. I will be here for her with open arms when she leaves you.

I know... bitter, dramatic, angsty, painfully romantic Lee-kun! I think I channeled InvaderWeb's Lee here.

I had to edit this a little bit since originally publishing it because I was using language that was a bit too strong. It read like Lee hated Naruto. It bothered me.

I'm not sure how this story came to be, except that I was talking to my husband a couple of days ago and he said "irregardless." I'm really big on grammar and pronunciation, so he likes to say things incorrectly on purpose just to bug me. I jokingly told him, "I wish I'd tried harder to keep you from finding out my neuroses." That sentence was the kernel the story started from (the "-ttebayo" part). At first, I didn't know this was going to be Lee talking, and I REALLY didn't know it was going to be a laundry list of Naruto's flaws. Oh, how a fairly vague notion can unfurl!

Hope you liked it! Please review. :)