Brisingr: My Version
Eragon was waiting in the space ship to be transported to the place was called where the Dwarves lived. In the miountains, he waked with Saphira who was the drargon, and told them how powerful he is.
"PEOPLE OF ARAGAYSJIU. I will be defeaters of the Galbatorix so become freedom! For everyone!" They smiled, but one group wasn't smiles.
"I and me and my dragon will win and release freedom for you and not slaves. Arya Orek who is now king of the dwarfs, and Oromos will be in help with me so be nice to them."
But then, a man cam from the crowds. He was white and had a girl on the side with him whom wore a white dress around her body. He just wore clothes.
"I am Richerd Syfer and this is the most beautiful, wondrous, powerfullest, sexiest, most female woman in the land, Kaelan Amnell. She's a mommy confessir and touches dead people I DO NOT AGREE WITH YOU ERAGIN SHADEKILLER!!"
"So?" Eragon crossed his arms. "Be careful small one." whispered Safearuh.
"You must use reason, Eragon and be an Objectoviss because you are lies. Kaelan is ebautiful."
"No, Arya is."
Bringer of Death. Richerd's eyes flashed, masculine.
"NO KAELAN IS BECAUSE I SAID SO"
And then he snaped his fingers, and around him there were red, leather-clad chicks with braids in their hair. Their mothers and fathers had been killed and raped and tortured and tortured and raped again and these girls had watched all this from a young age and they, also, had been tortured, raped, and stuff, too and yet, now, they stood unrealistically psychologically stable as if all that torture was just a scrape on the knee... "Sexy Mordor Sithis dominatrix girls, KILL ERAGIN!"
And then they walked forward and made the gasps audience.
Bringer of death.
Eragon got on his drgaon and yelled "BRISINGR" and cupped his hands and whispered "BRISINGR" to the world again. Then the Mord Sithis girls died, but naked because that's what the male viewers had wanted.
That's how the author made his money.
Richerd got mad so he kissed and thought about Kaelan, who was pretty in her white dress and cried a lot but was still considered a good deep character with many inkatracies which weren't there because she wasn't and the people who had said that hadn't read better novels. Then Eragon chared at him with his sword Zararara'roaca and killed him almost but missed the fire.
"Brisingr" he said and...
NEXT CHAPTER COMING WEHN? YOU REVIEW AND DESIDE TO TELL ME.