I do not sure if I am alive because I am not a human.
I was born after my creator heard the news about a village belongs to shinobi was established in the Land of Fire. He was lying on a bed spotted with dry blood from unknown person or people, trying to get some rest from a cutting-throat battle for a spring when he heard this news. At the moment he was inspirited to build a shinobi village for the land of Wind, I was born.
My creator called me Sunagakure. His followers often called him Kazekage Sama or Shodai Sama after he gave me my physical image—a hay yellow village made up with mushroom shaped buildings. Nobody remembered his real name, including his family and himself. Only I remember he was called Akuira when he was 25 years old.
Akuira forced the other shinobi tribes obey his order with his overwhelming power. However, his power could not help him in defeating the horrible desert environment. I never have enough water to support all the tribes obeying Akuira. The water layer under my physical shape can merely support for drinking, laundering, and basic sanitation, but not agriculture. Akuira then abandoned he initial decision of making me as strong as Konohagakure. He shaped me into an intermediating institute between desert shinobi tribes and the main political power in the Land of Wind. He told me this special position would give me great advantages politically and financially.
My dear Akuira, he loved me with his soul. Although he seldom talked to me, I could always see myself shadowing in his dark eyes in the form of a young boy, just like his first son chocked to death by sand in a sandstorm. Sometimes, he would called me Suna softly with his low voice. I always want to hug him when he called me Suna, but I cannot touch him because I am not a human. I exist because Akuira and his follower believed me exist. If no one believes me, I will disappear. I will not die, because I never live.
Poor Akuira, he died at his 42. I think I killed him, my beloved Akuira. My existence fits in a power gap between the Daimyo and the shinobi tribes. I possesses huge benefits as Akuira expected. However, what I possesses droved out greediness deep inside human hearts. Several strong tribes weaved a conspiracy. I tried to tell Akuira that his dearest friends betrayed him but he was too far from my power. Those men, who helped Akuira shaping me poisoned my love after he brought back huge cash for my development by deterring other shinobi villages with Shukaku.
I was nearly torn into pieces by the turmoil after Akuira's death. In that 305 days, the time my builders fought for the right to possess me, I was in great pain every second. I did not know what I will be in the future. I asked myself countless times if I would disappear after all my builders soaking my physical image with their blood and their followers' blood. I did not figure out an answer. I did not have power to choose my own future, because my future is in the hands of human. But I never thought of hating those men poisoned my beloved Akuira. I was born under human desire of pursuing a better life, I could not blame the desire created me.
At the end, Akuira's student suppressed all the other power. He was elected as Nidaime Kazekage after he executed the conspirers responsible for Akuira's death. People lived inside my psychical shell forgot his real name as fast as forgetting those conspirers once built the architectures they living in. Only I remember he was called Ryu when he was 25 years old.
Ryu forgave most of the followers of the conspirers. At the same time he changed the qualifying standards of Suna shinobi. The shinobi from the tribes have to give up their last name when they are working for me. Still they can claim back their last name after they retired from the service. He also trained a large number of gifted orphans to balance the influences of shinobi tribes inside me.
After the bloody power struggle, the tribes were tire of fighting and losing young men. They finally accepted Ryu's treaty under increasing war portents from the land of Earth. The shinobi tribes are obligated to send volunteers to Suna to attend Genin Test and supported me during war time. And I am obligated to make peace between shinobi tribes, protect business routes and tribal merchants, and help rebuilding tribes suffered from nature disasters or invading wars. There are much more detailed rights and obligations written in the 87 pages Suna Treaty the shinobi tribes signed with me.
Both Ryu and I know the treaty would break if more benefits than risks to break it. It is called reality.
The turmoil changed Ryu a lot. He believed people want to live harmony with each other because Akuira believed so. After the turmoil, he defied this belief, which led to his teacher's death. The desire of pursuit greater power dictated him at the moment he discovered the truth of Akuira's death.
Suna, I am not strong enough to protect you.
I always heard him whispered to himself like this when he was alone. I tried countless time to make him believe he is strong enough. He just looked at me silently. I saw my shadow in Ryu's eyes; it is awfully look like Akuira at his 30, the time he first met Ryu. I badly wished to wipe away the warm bitter salt water running down his cheek. I cannot touch him because I never a human. I did not know how to save him neither from the misery of losing Akuira nor from desire to gain more and more dangerous power.
Suna, how can you survive without power?
Ryu questioned me when I opposed his horrible idea of digging into the ominous power of Shukaku.
Suna, the other village would look into the power of biju too. If we did not speed up with the learning progress, we would fall behind.
Suna, there is nothing wrong to use Shukaku to pursuit better living condition for you and your shinobi.
Suna, I am just going to do what Shodai Sama had done.
Ryu turned his youngest child into jinchuriki. I could not stop him, I could not blame him, and I could not save him. I could only watch him walking deeper and deeper into a quicksand named Misery. His child with sapphire colored eyes sunk with him. At the end, the sapphire eyed child surrendered his soul to the monster in exchange of destroying his father and me.
The night Shukaku rampaged inside my psychical shell, I heard a cracking sound named Heart Broken. After paying 20 young lives and hundreds of injuries, Ryu dragged Shukaku into the sealing kettle successfully. He snapped the neck of the boy's dead body. I could not forget the creepy crispy sound of bones fracturing. Ryu walked away with bloody hands, partly with his child's blood, partly with his own blood. The boy's semi-fogged blue eyes presented themselves to this dusty world, there was no tears in them but hate and hopelessness.
Ryu told me he did not regret making his child into jinchuriki. He did not stop finding the right way to manipulate Shukaku. No one but me heard his low, sorrow sobs every time when he was sleeping.
Ryu forever relieved from the misery in the spring of the 41st year of his life. I was glad he finally got a peaceful sleep. He made me hate myself. Why do I have to cause so much pain on others to keep existence? I often asked myself this bitter question. I wonders if Konohagakure asks himself the same question.