Catastrophic or Claustrophobic?
Chapter One
By Imp
Author's Note: Another
humorous HP story. This, of course is extremely odd; you have been warned.
Also, it ain't finished, so if ya want more you'll have to tell me so.
Harry Potter strode across the Hogwart's School Grounds, whistling. He was having – in his opinion – a great day. Everything was going remarkably well; he hadn't seen Draco Malfoy all day; Snape hadn't yelled at him or taken points from Gryffindor in Potions – which surely was a miracle – the Weasley twins had given him a whole bag of pranks and tricks.
Cho Chang had smiled at him in the Great Hall; McGonnagall had awarded Gryffindor quite a few points because he had answered an immensely hard question right, completely on accident… The list went on, but Harry didn't care to recount every nice or lucky thing that had happened to him.
He sighed as he skirted the edge of the Forbidden Forest. Things hadn't gone this well since, well, they had never been this good…
'Hmmm…' Harry thought. 'Last time things were good I –' he didn't finish his thought. The last time he had thought everything was perfect a certain very powerful dark wizard had popped up.
Harry had inadvertently closed his eyes as these disturbing thoughts came to him.
"Uh oh… Now I've done it, I've gone and become immensely happy… If I open my eyes I know I'm gonna see – " he gulped. "- Voldie."
He opened his eyes wide – Voldemort wasn't there.
"Phew…" Harry sighed only to hear the distinct sound of someone clearing his throat behind him.
"I was wrong." Harry said blankly.
"You didn't think I'd disappoint you, did you Potter?" an uncomfortably familiar voice said.
Harry turned around to face Lord Voldemort. "Well I was sorta hoping you might be busy." Harry said sadly.
"I'm never too busy to ruin your day." Voldie said and smiled.
"Yeah, that's what I thought…" Harry said, looking at his feet with a disappointed air and rubbing his wand nervously.
Voldemort drew his own wand and smirked.
"I…I guess we're gonna get into a claustrophobic battle now." Harry said unhappily.
"A what?" Voldemort said incredously.
"A claustrophobic battle." Harry repeated.
"You mean a CATASTROPHIC battle." Voldemort said, his voice stiff with superiority.
"No! Catastrophic means someone who is afraid of little places, like a cave or somethin'."
"No you silly little boy. Catastrophic means, big! Fatal, with giant explosions – and in this case – battle!" Voldemort growled angrily.
"That didn't sound like it came right out of the dictionary." Harry said, eyeing Voldie with distaste and suspicion.
"Well it did – now! Lets get on with the CATASTROPHIC battle." Voldemort replied swiftly and flourished his wand elegantly.
"Alright, the claustrophobic battle." Harry said with and impish grin.
"Idiot! Do you want me to get absolute proof?" Voldie snarled like a lunatic.
"Yes, but you won't find any because you're wrong!" Harry said, still grinning.
"We'll see…" Voldemort muttered.
Author's
Note2: So, what did you think? Surely you won't be cowardly enough to leave
without reviewing? Hehehe, come on, I was kidding… kinda'…