A/N: Yeahhhh so i was really bored, and i played Lux-Pain. I was at the part when Yui Yamase almost kills Insp. Tanaka, while she was grieving for Mako Ando and infected with Silent. I couldn't help but wonder what had been going through her head before and after she tries to kill everyone, then herself. this is my idea of what she was thinking.

Sorry if some of the lines aren't right. I forgot them and wrote them as best I could.

I own only Yui's weird thoughts. i invented those.

Yui's Pain

He killed her. She's dead and he killed her.

This is what I continued to tell myself as the gun in my hands grew more clear in my blurred vision. A soft breeze moved my auburn hair, and I snapped back to reality, loading the pistol and cocking it.

I can see the new chief, Aya Nagashima, talking to Rui's friend, Atsuki Saijo, a little ways away from the front of the Kisaragi Police Station. I don't think they'll see me if I run inside now.

Mako. I want to see you again. I will avenge your death.

I burst into the station, and everyone looks at me and the gun gripped so tightly in my right hand, my knuckles are white.

Shit.

Nagashima and Saijo come in seconds later, looking distressed. Well, Saijo never looks distressed, but Aya does.

"Yamase!" she snaps. "What are you doing?"

"I... I..." my mouth goes dry. Why can't I speak?

"Why do you have a gun? You should have returned it to your locker by now." Aya continues.

Just then, Tanaka, Mako Ando's murderer, exits an office in the back surrounded by guards. When I see him, I lose it. My mind roars for me to kill him, to make him bleed out like Mako did. Make him suffer.

"...told me Insp. Ando was your close friend. I'm sorry, Yui." Nagashima's talking, but I only catch the end of her sentence.

At the mention of Mako's name from Nagashima's mouth, my control goes haywire. I can't take it any more, and not on my own accord, my hand starts raising; pointing the gun at Tanaka's head.

"He killed Mako, didn't he?" I whisper, my finger resting on the trigger. Insane lust for blood, a crazy urge to kill, washes over me.

"Yamase!" Aya shouts.

"Didn't he?" I repeat, not taking my eyes off of my prey; he has frozen in fear.

"Yes, he did." Nagashima murmurs.

"Then what's wrong with me killing him?" I scream, teeth clenched in anticipation.

I'll kill him.

I'll kill everyone.

Once he's dead, I'll kill myself, too.

Follow Mako.

See her again.

All of you, die, die, die.

We were best friends.

We were going to talk about our men when we got married.

Always be close.

He ruined that!

When his blood sprays the walls, the ground, the guards surrounding him, I'll end all their lives; Nagashima, Saijo, all of them.

They all will be dead.

And when that bullet enters my skull, I'll find peace.

Suddenly, all those thoughts, all those deranged thoughts, were gone in the blink of an eye, as if I had suddenly been cleansed of all evil.

"I... I'm sorry, Mako. I couldn't do it..." I mutter, the gun dropping from my nerveless fingers. Tears swim into my vision, and I drop to my knees, grip the sides of my head in my hands, and sob.

I let all my grief flow with my teardrops, all the sadness, all the confusion over Mako's death just fall away. My cries are all that can be heard in the silent hall. Tanaka is frozen in fear, but I don't give a damn.

My shoulders are shaking so violently, you'd think there was an earthquake. I try to stop sobbing, but the tears just keep plummeting to the ground, or onto my knees and skirt.

Forgive me, Mako.

I lost my will to avenge you.

Even though I couldn't do it, please; rest in peace.

I'll never forget you.

I'm sorry.