I started writing this on scrap piece of paper in english class the other day after finding out the guy I used to date and still hope I will someday fix things with had asked this girl to the ball.(Everybody is school was going gaga over how he wrote will you go to the ball with me? on his broken arm cast with a yes and no box then asked her to sign it.) I felt alot of angst to say the least. Its not my finest work I must say but it should be enjoyable. =)
Background: Chuck felt pressued to be engaged to Blair from everybody, so he asked and she accepted. Only for him to runaway to some forgein country and come back too late. She has been living in paris for a few months after finding out he never really wanted to be married. And by the way the guy she is now engaged to is really nice, so dont hate him.
"People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed and redeemed; never throw out anyone"-Audrey Hepburn
It's like a punch. Swift, Fast and knocks you to the ground. It sucks the air from your chest.
"Haven't you heard?"
"I'm sorry man."
You haven't seen her in months.
Paris is a long way from New York. And she made it clear you were not welcome. And if you owed her anything it would be to respect what she wanted now.
But like always she was right. She would move on. She would fall in love again.
But you're still the same. You still create stupid mistakes. You still fall in stupid holes.
You spot them on the sidewalk. You try not to stare. But it is an outer body experience.
She wouldn't get married anywhere else.
"New York, I love you but you're bringing me down."
She looks taller. And her hair is lighter. It's not the same girl that said goodbye.
She doesn't look bitter. She looks happy but not warm.
That could have been you with her right now.
Serena makes sure you are invited. She slips you an invite. You know she knows you are coming.
"Just don't make a scene."
And she sounds just like lily.
It's at the church from the scrapbook. But the flowers look all wrong.
You're not drunk or high but nothing makes sense.
A blur of pale blonde hair and everything changes.
"I need you to talk to her. She needs you to tell her."
You both find her just sitting there in the room. The almost perfect white dress still not touched.
"Hi" she whispers like a child. Innocent and scared.
You're both alone now. The two of you alone together is never good.
"I am tired of pretending to be somebody I am clearly not anymore."
"Don't make this about us when clearly it is about you and him." You snap back.
"Take me with you. I am living a lie." She pleads without moving at all. She is emotionless.
"If you know what is good for you, put on that dress and walk down that aisle."
You leave the church almost running to find your limo.
This was a terrible idea. You will never be what she wants. You will only ever be what she sees.
Before you know it she has followed. She stands of the steps with her heart in her hand. She has her hair pinned up in those perfect curls and they look dark again like they used to be. She has on a white slip exposing her body and her white cold skin. She drops the peonies she was holding casually crushing them like they were her lies. Her bare feet carrying her. It's not her anymore. It is Blair.
"He knows I am not showing. He never needed me. I never fully loved him. Take me with you because I love you. We both screwed up and I ran away without asking you. Take me with you."
"I don't know if I will ever be able to give you what you want."
"I want you! Can you not see that? He can't give me that. Nobody else can."
"I didn't come here to win you back over. I came here to watch you make the best decision you can make. I am tired of hurting you."
She is crying the makeup that had taken hours runs off like the mask she is taking off.
"I am sorry. Forgive me for pushing you away, rushing into things, running away and this sad attempt at making you jealous."
"Don't apologize for the things I made you do."
Your eyes are watering. You are both equally at fault.
"Take me with you."
And right on cue she rushes down the steps to be taken into your arms.
Just like the end of the fairytale you kiss her and you leave in the car. You are both never sure if it is the right thing to do. But maybe one day you will both be ready.