This is for a GKM prompt.
Also, this is my first story in English, I'm french and unbetaed so yeah... If there are really bad mistakes, don't hesitate to tell me and I'll try to edit. Like we said, we learn from our mistakes !
Hope you'll enjoy.
Disclaimers : Nothing belongs to me except the character of Alex.
Warnings : For that chapter, bp!Kurt, mentions of mpreg. Don't like, don't read.
Chapter one
New York is everything Kurt Hummel has been dreamt of - and maybe more - though Kurt didn't imagine his life would turn into something like that. He can't help but tell himself he had been too naive.
Currently, Kurt is sitting on his bed, his old scrapbook in hands, wandering through the pages, stopping one second to touch the soft tissue of a bow tie he and his mom had made when he was seven.
As far as he can remember, Kurt always knew he would make it to New York. It was for this particular reason his mom and dad had offered him this book for his sixth birthday ; to put down all his dreams.
The pages are full of glitters, sparkles, representing the lights of Broadway where he always thought he had his place. He's not so sure anymore. Broadway seems to get away the more he stays in New York. All the book his full of candidness. He dreamt about a penthouse, a dressing as big as the loft he currently lives in - with Rachel. Even the last pages that he drew last year seem utopian since he didn't make it to NYADA.
Kur sighs before he stands up and starts putting his uniform on. Two days ago, Kurt quit his job - more like an internship - in Vogue to find a real work with a wage at the end of the month. He needs money to pay the rent.
His senior friendship with Rachel didn't really make it to New York. She kept rambling all the week about how everything is so expansive in New York and how she needs some specific ingredients to take care of her voice - trying non-subtly to make Kurt understand she would not pay his part of the rent if he needed it. So Kurt had given up Vogue to shut her up.
The truth is : Kurt's miserable. He misses his dad so much - and doesn't dare talk to him about his risky situation. His dreams are less and less reachable. Life is too expansive and Kurt feels like New York eats him up alive. He doesn't know what to do, he just feels paralyzed.
Once he's ready, Kurt checks the loft one more time, to be sure he doesn't have missed a thing - like a note of Rachel who's living her full life of New Yorker and is God knows where - before locking the door and heading to work.
The trip in the subway is short and soon Kurt arrives to Spotlight Diners. It's a nice restaurant on Broadway where the boss gives the opportunity at his waiters to sing. It's the closest Kurt will come of Broadway and the stage.
Soon, Kurt's focus is all on his shift. Take orders, make coffee, bring the plates, clean up tables and start all over again. When it's time for his break, Kurt feels like a pack of elephants walked on him. He all but collapses on the bar, the amused look of a colleague on him.
After a few minutes of silence, the guy says : "I can't believe you missed it." Kurt looks up, a tired look on his face, wondering what the guy is talking about. He glances quickly at the name on the uniform - Elliot. He doesn't remember being introduced correctly to the guy but he notices him. Elliot wears a lot of eyeliner and doesn't care about shouting through the restaurant. He makes Kurt uncomfortable even if he heard him sing - and Elliot does have a voice, a pretty one. His smugly attitude is not without remembering him Puck.
"Missed what ?" He finally asks. "The way the guy with the black coffee and the egg sandwich looked at you. He totally hit on you. I'm pretty sure he wrote his number on the napkin and you just threw up it away under his eyes. Harsh man !" Kurt blushes a little - and grimaces to the nickname. He also wonders how much tired he is if he has become as oblivious as his stepbrother.
Nonetheless, Kurt has to say he's not looking for a love interest at the moment. His only boyfriend - Chandler - left a bitter taste in his mouth that he still has nowadays. They stayed together for almost two years before Chandler cheated on him with a guy met at Scandals. He had begged him for forgiveness but Kurt's trust had been crushed and even if he was a mess at the time, he didn't let Chandler come back in his life. Not again.
Since Chandler, Kurt hasn't felt the need to date again. He doesn't want to have his heart crushed in addition to his dreams. Kurt is not the guy to go for a quickie and anyway, he would probably humiliate himself in the process. He's not really comfortable with his body and he always thinks sex was okay ; not life-changing.
"I'm not interested in dating." He concludes. Kurt looks at the clock and makes a face when he realises he has to go back to work soon. Elliot, however, continues studying him like he's a big mystery which needs to be resolved. Considering the conversation is not over, he asks again : "So what's got into you Kurt Hummel ?" Kurt raises an eyebrow and Elliot sighs. "I mean, what are you interested in ?" Oh. Kurt hesitates a little before answering honestly : "Money. Right now, I just need to earn money."
Elliot's face drops in concern which is surprising because people aren't usually nice with Kurt. "I know what you mean. I had my moments too. It's better now but sometimes, I feel like I could start struggling again. Anyway... That's a shame I'm not carrier and don't have a nice little pussy." He shrugs before going back to work, letting Kurt as red as a tomato and mostly confused.
The last words didn't seem for him but Kurt feels breathless when he thinks about it. He's distracted for the rest of his shift, wondering what Elliot means but also if he knows about Kurt's one. Is there something on Kurt which screamed 'carrier' ?
Being a carrier and having a vagina instead of penis and testicles is not exceptionnal but it's not common either. This phenomenon is well-known since the beginning of the 21th century. Kurt read that about 15% of the male population has a boypussy - that how we call it - but only less than 10% can carry a child. Kurt is one of them.
Burt Hummel has always made sure Kurt knows is not different and all his anatomy is perfectly normal. Nonetheless, Kurt has never felt confident with is body. For a long time, masturbation had been taboo and even now, it's just when he feels desperate and lonely. Sex with Chandler always seemed better for him than for Kurt and he still wonders if things are more pleasurable for guys with a penis.
The fact he can carry a child, however, has always been abstract. He never thought about it until today - he might have imagined carrying the child of the love of his life but no more. He had just been careful when he had sex, not wanting to be a Quinn Fabray.
Kurt is always discreet about his condition and afraid that we may think he's a freak. Sometimes, he wonders if it's not the case.
At the end of his shift, Kurt is so confused about what Elliot says and can't help but being interested. Elliot seemed to say that his condition could make money and Kurt desperately needs money. So he gathers his courage and goes to talk to Elliot.
"What do you mean earlier when you talk about...," Kurt swallows difficulty, "... the carriers ?" Elliot's eyes pop open and he seems ready to ask Kurt if he's one of them but then thinks better and doesn't ask at all. Instead of, he simply answers the question. "Well, there are a lot of gay couples who prefer have their child carry by a man. It's like a surrogate you know but it pays a lot more because, well, a carrier who's gay and ready to have a child for other people ? Doesn't run the streets."
The answer of Elliot makes the things more confused for Kurt and he feels a rush of questions flood his mind. It's almost violent because Kurt has to reach for the bar and grab on it like his all life depends on it. Elliot seems to notice and hesitates to leave him alone. Before he goes, he takes the first bit of paper he finds and writes a name on it, then he gives it to Kurt. "I heard about this agency. It has a really good reputation." Kurt takes the paper without thinking.
Kurt doesn't sleep that night. When he comes home to the loft, it's empty and nothing moved. Rachel will be probably gone for the rest of the night and who knows the next time Kurt will see her. He eats alone - a thing that really depresses him - and then goes to bed early. But after turning for a good twenty minutes, he turns the light on and grab his computer. He passes half of the night on the internet, looking for the agency - who indeed has a good reputation - then for commentaries of people who'd been surrogates. He also reads a lot about pregnancies and that scares him to death.
Kurt is not a virgin but sometimes, he's not far to think of himself like one. So, having a baby ? It's totally insane. Even if everything he read about pregnancy it's not the entire truth, how will he be able to deal with crazy hormonal stuff and the desperate want of sex ? It's a really bad idea. Kurt knows that. Plus, there is no way he will tell his father about that so if Kurt decides to do it, he will be all alone. Burt will be very disappointed and Kurt doesn't want that. It's really out of consideration.
Yet, Kurt considers it. It would be the most scary experience of his life but it's only nine months. Kurt went through high scool and dealt with Dave Karosky on a daily basis. He can deal with a pregnancy. The money he can earn by being a surrogate is huge and he doesn't even have a real price. Kurt just knows with that money he will be able to go back in Vogue and start a career in the mode. Maybe performing it's not for him but design is as good as Broadway. Why only Rachel Berry will be able to make her path in New York ? Kurt deserves it more than her. Life owes him New York.
At 5am, Kurt almost made his mind. There's just one last thing which disturbs him. The baby will be his. Usually, surrogates don't give their ovum, there is another woman implied. But not this time, the baby will be Kurt and a stranger. Kurt is not sure it can handle for his whole life that some of his DNA is living somewhere. What if Kurt loves the baby and can't turn his back ?
Finally, Kurt doesn't sleep at all. He's so happy he can nap in the day but at least, he made a decision. At the first minute the agency opens, he calls.