Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. I also don't own the prequel to this fic.
Author's Note: Sequel to Maldoror's 'Keep that in Mind'. Here's the Linky here: Just copy and paste. Please read it. This fic won't make much sense without reading the first one. Also: This fic is 1x5, even if 'Keep that in Mind' is 1x2. It's half Wu POV, and half He POV. I hope I do this right.
WARNING: IN CASE YOU DIDN"T READ THE AUTHORS NOTE! READ 'KEEP THAT IN MIND' FIRST! THE LINK IS ABOVE!
Wufei was frowning when Quatre emerged from the hospital room. "He's asleep." The blonde informed him, tears still in his eyes. Trowa emerged after, wrapping his arms around Quatre. Wufei turned away, not wanting Quatre to be held back in his grieving.
Or perhaps it was merely that Wufei did not wish to see Quatre's grieving. He could not summon up the emotions he knew most would feel, was instead encapsulated by a feeling of peace that lingered from his interrupted mediatation.
Quatre's quiet sobs died away, though his cheeks were tearstained when Wufei turned back to look. The expression on the pilot's face dared Wufei to accuse him, even think of him as weak. Wufei did not, the disgust was drifting away like everything else.
"He asked about Duo." Trowa spoke. "He heard Duo speaking."
Wufei raised an eyebrow. "He was delirious." But privately, Wufei's mind was piecing together bits of information from the last few hours. Heero's delirium, Duo's unexplained speech, and his own interaction with the braided pilot before breaking meditation; they connected in his head, creating a picture as tangible as the painted fruit bowl just beyond Quatre's shoulder.
He entered the room quietly. Even if Heero was drugged, he would still probably wake up if Wufei made too much noise. Two pilots, pale skin illuminated by fluorescent lights, faced him. The braided baka was silent for once, trapped away in the oblivion that no force of will could pierce. Or so Wufei thought. He had heard Maxwell's voice as well. Still, Maxwell looked too peaceful to be causing 'holy hell', as he called it.
Heero, of the two, looked drawn, unhappy. Wufei could imagine why. The mission had succeeded, but had gone horribly wrong. Heero had nearly died, and Duo… Wufei could not be sure if either he or Heero would hear Duo's voice again. Heart moniter blips followed him as Wufei turned away. He needed to meditate.
Heero woke. Some one was in the hospital room with him. His senses told him it was Sally; his eyes, opening slowly, only confirmed the fact.
"You're awake." Was that relief in her voice? It might have been. Logic told Heero it wasn't. He was of no relation to the woman, nor had he done anything to form a relationship with her. There was no reason for her to feel relief at his waking.
She seemed to want a response. "Hn." He grunted. Duo was gone; the bed that he had been laid in was empty. Sally strode briskly out of the room, and Heero could hear her speaking.
"…Is he conscious?" Wufei was speaking.
"Yes, but-" Sally's voice had a strange note to it; Heero catalogued the emotion, and filed it away for future reference.
"Is he mobile?"
"No, he's not." Heero could imagine the frown that Wufei's face would be bearing. Shenlong's pilot entered, and Heero's eyes showed him the same image his imagination supplied.
"Are you mobile?" Sally was glaring at Heero, daring him to answer yes. Heero evaluated the status of his limbs, and decided that yes, he was.
"Yes." He sat up, and tore the IV from his arm. The pain was minimal; he could deal with it. Wufei made his own evaluation, and nodded. Heero's wounds had been mostly healed. An internal clock informed him he had been drifting in and out of consciousness for several weeks. His memory supplied moments of alertness, and of movement. His injuries had been almost completely healed. He would be ready to begin taking missions again with minimal physical therapy.
"Follow me." The ground swayed under him, but he dealt with it, and ignored Sally's glares in the process. The woman was not fool enough to attempt to stop him, at least.
Wufei took the lead, turning left at three corridors before coming to a stop in front of rice paper doors. "This is a dojo," he said, his eyes meeting Heero's. "It was built here for the convenience of those patients trained in martial arts."
Heero nodded. Wufei seemed about to say more, even if the Chinese man did not speak at once. "Barton said, that you believed Maxwell spoke to you after you completed the mission."
"Yes," Heero said, unsure where this would lead.
"I joined the war after my wife died,"
Long Meiran, the name appeared beside a picture of a glaring Asian girl, born AC 180, married to Chang Wufei AC 194, died AC 194. His mind supplied the details on the death certificate. Heero had made extensive background checks of all the pilots.
"I fight to uphold the same principles she did. I-" Wufei frowned. "Meditate with me."
Heero frowned. Meditate? It was a practice Wufei preformed religiously, but Heero was not certain the relation between meditation and Wufei's dead wife. Heero was at loose ends, however, and spending weeks in bed had frayed his nerves. He recalled that Wufei had always been better equipped to deal with stress, especially Duo-induced stress, after meditating, and nodded shortly.
There were two woven mats on the floor; Wufei had planned this. Wufei settled down on the one facing the room, letting Heero put his back to the wall as he copied the Chinese man's position.
"Search your memory. Find a place where you feel at peace; where you feel safe." Wufei's voice came from a mouth moving below closed eyes. He sounded as though he already knew where that place was; his voice was calmer than Heero had ever heard.
Heero searched each memory for the 'feeling of peace' while watching a blue and purple kaleidoscope behind his eyes. No such place surfaced. He frowned and shifted; enough time had passed that his legs were beginning to cramp.
"Where you felt safe." Wufei corrected himself, as if following Heero's thoughts.
A place sprung to mind immediately: a meadow; the backdrop, an apartment complex. In his memory, a young girl with a puppy ran by, and asked him if he was lost. The pain in his legs steadily disappeared. He heard more than felt the approaching presence, and he slowly opened his eyes.
The wind made waves of the grass, left for quite a while by lazy lawn-tenders. Only it wasn't that girl who smiled down at him, obstructing the sunlight. A long braid hung down, tickling his nose until he sat up from his reclining position to bat it out of the way.
Duo smiled, an honest smile Heero didn't think he had seen before. He could check his file on Duo, but for some reason, he didn't want to. "Fei-fei said you'd come. I wasn't sure if I should believe him. I mean," Duo plopped into a sitting position across from him. "I know 'Fei. He ain't too good at talking, and you wouldn't recognize a hint if it blew you up with Tallgeese." The smile was mischevious, and maybe a little vicious. It was the look Duo had on when he was teasing.
"Duo," Heero said in greeting. A feeling he had never felt before pervaded his senses, relaxing him to the point that he could have fallen asleep. Yet he wasn't alarmed; this, too, would have been alarming except that he couldn't seem to summon up emotions at the moment.
An uncomfortably comfortable silence stretched out, before Heero thought of something to say. "How are you going to keep your promise?"
"What? You don't think the afterlife has a town?" Duo laughed. "It's got movie theatres an' restaurants an' even a school. Best of all," the giggles had died out of his voice, "no poverty, no death. No fighting. You don't have to see anyone you don't want to, and so long as you know a name, you can spend eternity with your loved ones."
No wonder Wufei seemed to be at peace when he came out of meditation, if he came here. Did he come here? It seemed, from the pilot's actions, that Wufei did, but…
"Of course he comes here. He visits Mei-chan." Mei-chan? Heero realized Duo meant Long Meiran. "Look," Duo pointed. "You can see 'em." Heero twisted, and looked, squinting.
Gradually a wildly gesticulating Chinese woman came into view, standing in a field much like the one he was in, except that it had bright flowers in it. Chang Wufei was watching her every movement, smiling softly. He made a point of his own, and though Heero could not hear it, he knew it wasn't complementary by the raised eyebrow on the pilot's face. The woman shifted into a fighting stance, and Wufei laughed easily.
"That's how I know he's all gooey inside." Duo commented. "Walked in on them when they weren't fighting." Heero looked back, brow furrowed. When had Duo met Mrs. Long? "When I first…" he made a waving motion over his body, which, Heero noticed, did not seem as solid as 01's. "You know. I went to tell 'Fei he'd better get his ass to pick you up soon, or we'd be out two pilots, and walked in on them discussing the merits of Socrates' method of converting the populace. Whatever that means. She took my side, telling 'Fei-chan it was his duty to save you, and that she'd kick his ass if he didn't. Anyway, we started talking after she left. Nice lady."
Heero nodded.
"You like him?" Nataku had the annoying habit of looking past his carefully constructed defenses. Then again, when one's dead wife can read one's mind, defensive actions were of no help, anyway. "I have no problem if you do, Wufei. It is not as though either of us are in any position to ask for divorce on grounds of unfaithfulness."
The smile his mouth had formed while watching her recount Duo's first reencounter with some one named 'Solo' faded. "Do you like him?" he countered. Both were talking about different 'him's, and both knew it.
"You are evading the question, Chang Wufei." Her fourteen-year-old face frowned. She hadn't changed. She never would; she would be fourteen when he was seventy… if he lived that long.
"So are you."
"I asked first." She smirked with a child's knowledge of her victory. For once, he seceded.
"Yes." He responded. He had watched Heero for many days while the other lay in drugged stupor; as many days as he could. Even lost to the world, grief had never left him. Meiran softened, lifting a hand to brush against his cheek in a caress she'd have never dared in life.
Death and peace had changed her. Able to read his mind, her regard of him had skyrocketed. She was gentler, quieter. She no longer wished to fight at every turn, though vestiges of her fighting spirit remained. This woman, he might have loved; did love, though platonically. But then, if she had been like this is life, he would have never come to meet Heero, for it was Nataku's sacrifice that had sent Wufei to war.
"Me too," she smiled, almost shyly. "Duo is like no one I have ever met before." Wufei silently agreed. Duo was very different; he worked at it. He did not begrudge the other pilot his wife's attention. He had no interest in her in that manner, why should Duo be barred? That was provided the other had any interest in women…
"So what are you going to do about it?" Meiran continued with an impish look on her face. Wufei blinked, and frowned.
"Nothing. It is unlikely Heero returns my-" he hesitated before saying "feelings. And even if he does, it would be completely inappropriate to"
"You're avoiding the issue, again, you coward." Meiran's voice was joking, only lightly mocking, but Wufei's face darkened in shame and anger. He was being a coward, and he knew it. And yet, he couldn't seem to stop. He should present the issue to Heero, tell the other how he f-felt, and then make sure Heero knew Wufei would never let it affect his judgment.
He could already see the sneer on Heero's face when he found out.
Meiran wrapped her arms around him, and he tensed for a second before relaxing forcibly into her embrace. "I didn't mean it," she apologized, "You are not a coward. You are strong, and brave, and the greatest of our clans combined." Wufei took cold comfort I her words, and her caresses. He did not deserve them.
She growled at him. "Don't you dare keep thinking things like that, husband. I never knew it in life, but- You were stronger than I would have ever admitted, and if could have, I would have lived, just for you. Given you children, strong, smart ones that would make you proud. I would have done anything for you if I'd known what I do now."
A bitter smile flashed across his lips. "There are many things, wife, that I would have done if I knew the things I do now. 'I would haves' are as useless as sentimentalities."
Meiran gazed at him with a mournful expression before her eyes flickered away. "Duo wishes to speak with you." She faded from view, but instead of returning to the dojo, he lingered until the braided pilot's smiling lips were pressed to his cheek in a kiss that caught him off guard.
Heero waited after Duo faded away. He had said Meiran wanted to speak with him. The girl faded into view again, this time in a formal sitting position, across from him. Her deep hard gaze stared into him, into his mind and soul. He felt as if he was being weighed, measured, and judged in every way possible.
He did not speak, not knowing why this dead woman who could inspire such peace in the warrior he only knew to be fiery and emotional would wish to speak to him. Why such a woman who had formed the relationship she had with Duo (if Deathscythe's pilot was to be believed) would think about him for two seconds.
"You love him?" she asked severely. Heero wasn't sure what she meant. Duo? Love? What was love? How was he to know if he loved the pilot? She seemed to have the same power for reading his thoughts and feelings that Duo did.
"Yes, you love him." There was patience in her voice some reserved for children and the stupid. "I love him too."
Heero thought about that. He couldn't find jealousy or possessiveness. Did he really love Duo? But if he did, wouldn't he feel jealous? And yet this woman seemed sure, even as a tiny smiled crossed her lips.
"Not all love is jealous. You really don't have experience." She laughed a little at that, and then became serious again.
"He's a complicated man," she continued, and Heero nodded in agreement. "He has many feelings inside that he does not like to admit to, and cannot show because he is afraid that you will be angry, will think him unworthy."
Heero wasn't sure if this was true of Duo. Duo seemed to have so much emotion showing. But when he thought about it, he realized it was true. For all that Duo spoke all the time, with barely a pause for breath, he very rarely said anything outside of missions. But why would Duo be afraid of how Heero would react? He had never been afraid of Heero being angry in life. A thousand death glares had never stalled his mouth for more than a few seconds at a time.
"He is afraid you will leave if you know how much he cares about you." Meiran was still speaking, as if she did not see the frown on Heero's features. "He does care for you, very much. He wishes he could be more than comrade to you, but you seem to have so few emotions…" she trailed off, and looked at him. It seemed as if she was looking into the very core of his being, pulling apart his intentions bit by bit, watching his memories second by second, reading his deeper feelings, the ones he hid from the world in a protective fist only years of hurt can create inch by inch.
She smiled, and she was beautiful. He was glad she was dead, even if it had caused Wufei pain. No thing of beauty like Meiran should be made ugly by a terrible thing like war.
"Take care of him." She said, as she faded away, and the world too, the field beside the apartment complex faded too, leaving him cold and hungry and stiff in the hospital's dojo. But for all that his body hurt, his soul was at peace, and he could see that same peace on Wufei's face as the other boy's angular eyes slid open, and he smiled shyly.
And Heero realized something very important: Meiran hadn't been talking about Duo.
End
A/N (Again): so what do you think? Good? Not good? Review!