Authors Notes:Lol. I'm such a tard. XD I actually wrote a JiraOro AU. Or OroJira depends on how you want to look at it, there will be both in the story. I couldn't decide which I liked better. Anyways, I've already written about 13 chapters of this story and I'll post new chapters as I edit the ones I've already written and write new ones. This story is actually kind of nice because I fucking love this pairing and there just isn't enough of it out there. :)
Warning:Characters aren't mine. They belong to Kishimoto. Plenty of cursing. In later chapters there will be yaoi. Heck, this is a yaoi story. Oh, and boyXboy lemony goodness but that's later. :P Probably more crap I should put in the warning I just can't think of at the moment.
"What the hell did I do? Why are you punishing me like this? Do you guys just secretly hate me or something?!", I yelled defiantly at my parents who were currently trying to force me into a uniform. A fucking uniform. I thought only girl schools had those! And at least theirs are attractive! That thing my parents are trying to force on me is the gayest damn thing I've ever seen!
"Jiraiya, honey," my mom says in her annoyingly sweet tone,"Please don't curse, baby. We're doing this for your own good. You want to be successful in life don't you, sweety? Konoha high is one of the most prestigious high schools in the entire country! You have no idea how much your dad had to pay to get you into it!" You see, I have this theory about my mom. I think she really wanted some ungodly beautiful, popular, and smart daughter that she could dress up like a doll and live her life vicariously through. Instead she got me, a prematurely white haired boy with weird red markings on his cheeks who actually enjoyed having some fun every once in a while.
I simply pulled harder against her iron grip on my arm. For someone so small and frail looking she's pretty fucking strong when she wants to be. I guess I'm pretty shit out of luck though. My dad hid all my clothes somewhere and I'm not really wearing anything other than my boxers. Even if I did get away from her it's not like I could make a run for it. I guess I could try to call someone but the only person who tolerates me is Tsuande and knowing her she would rather come over and laugh at my suffering than actually help me.
I can't give in though, and I pull as hard as I can, reaching for the door handle,"Mom! Have you lost your fucking mind?! I don't want to go to some stupid boys only private school! It's so gay!" She just shook her head, having to struggle pretty hard now that I was using my full weight against her. Is she secretly a body builder or something? I mean most guys can't even win fights against me.
An angry frown starts to work its way across her face as she says harshly,"That's exactly why we're sending you! You're so girl obsessed and you're constant profanities! It's not healthy for a boy your age! We get at least two calls from your school about you on good days! You should be glad we let you enjoy your entire summer! Spending your high school years at a strict school is exactly what you need!"
This epic battle ensued for about another five minutes before my mom suddenly said,"If you go I'll give you a hundred dollars a month, but only if you keep your grades up!" That caught me. By the time I was old enough to get a car I could easily afford one with that kind of money. My parent's must really be desperate to offer that kind of cash. We weren't exactly the richest family you'd ever meet.
In the end I denied the deal, out of love for the female species and my reputation of being straight, but was forced against my will to do what my mom told me when my dad showed up with all of the stuff he had bought me for school. Bastard.
My mom just smiled and beamed rays of joy as I contemplated suicide, standing in the beyond hideous dark gray shorts that reached just past my knee, my lovely white Konoha high shirt with the stupid leaf symbol on it, all toped off with a dark gray jacket that reminded me of a monkey suit and plaid tie. I seriously wanted to just die right there, before anyone could see me. What sick bastard came up with this shit anyways!? I mean really, what the hell?
My dad just nodded in a condescending and approving way before pulling out a pair of scissors and saying calmly,"Good, Jiraiya. Now we just have to cut your hair. They have a school policy about long hair." I instantly threw my hands into my fluffy white hair in a protective manner. There is no fucking way he's getting me to chop my hair off. Just, no!
For the first time that day my mom actually proved that some part of her cared about my sanity and what I wanted because she ended up being the one to convince my dad that it was unfair to ask me to chop off all my hair. Mean while I was hiding under a desk, completely giving up any self dignity I might have left.
Quite a few other arguments ensued for the next couple of hours. One of the bigger ones being the fact that the stupid dress shoes that I had to wear were too small for me... and they were the biggest size they came in. Further proof that privates schools result in nothing more than tiny, nerdy, gay freaks. It was a sign that I'm not supposed to go!
Once everything was settled, though, and my parents were both happy with their work at ruining my entire life we all loaded into our small car (actually more like dragging me in and locking me in it) and headed off in the direction of the school. My dad had thought it best to drop me off as soon as possible even though the school didn't officially start for a few days. He said it would give me time to settle into my new school and get to know my room-mate. Yeah, that's right, I have to share a room with another guy. Fan-fucking-tastic.
I ended up falling asleep in the car on the way there and when I woke up I nearly cried. Nearly. I'm just too manly to actually cry.
Apparently we had arrived at the school and it was freaking huge. It also looked about a thousand fucking years old. I mean the whole she-bang. Red brick walls with ivy climbing up the sides. It was ridiculous. I could also tell that I was one of the first ones there. Great... Not to mention it was raining out, adding to the gloomy and depressed feeling that was starting to take complete control over my brain.
My mom practically dragged me out of the car and pulled me into the clean looking building that reminded me of a prison. (I'm seriously starting to get the feeling that they picked this place because they think I would've enjoyed military school too much.) We entered a small waiting room-like area with a secretary sitting behind a large desk. She simply waved us to a large room covered in trophies and other school crap. There was a large wooden desk in the center of the room with an older looking guy sitting behind it who smiled when he saw us come in, and said happily,"Welcome! It's nice to have you here. You're actually one of the first arrivals. Only about ten other boys have arrived so far."
He then looked over to me and said in the annoying way an adult would talk to a small kid,"Hello there. I take it you're Jiraiya. My name is Sarutobi. I've heard you're quite a trouble maker. We'll just have to fix that now won't we?" I just frowned as meaningfully as I could at him and said,"You don't have to talk to me like I'm a fucking two year old." My mom swatted the back of my head in the way she was famous for and sent me a glare. I swear the woman is bi-polar.
Sarutobi just frowned at me and then turned to my parents. They started talking about school shit and I kind of zoned out at that point and started to really look at some of the trophies and plaques around the room. There were so damn many of them! The part that really caught me though were the number of athletics and sports trophies. I hadn't expected that.
Suddenly I heard someone open the door to the office and walk in. I turned around to see who it was an it stopped me short. The guy looked to be around my age and had the longest, prettiest black hair I had ever seen. He was wearing a simple pair of jeans and a polo shirt, but that really wasn't all that important. His skin was so freakishly pale it was basically white and he had these weird purple markings around his eyes. That's not even the weirdest part though. He had these bright golden eyes that were slit like a snakes eyes for the love of all that is good and holy! I don't even really know how I knew he was a guy. He could probably pulled off a flat chested girl easily. Well, that was what I told myself. After all, why would I find him pretty? I'm straight.
Sarutobi smiled and said happily,"Ah! Orochimaru. You have good timing. Could you show Jiraiya here to his dorm? He's in the room next to yours." Orochimaru huh. What a weird name.
He just nodded without saying anything and then turned to look at me, a bored expression on his face. For some reason when he looked at me this freaky ass grin spread across his face that seriously made me think he was going to rape me or something. I could tell from the look on my moms face that she thought he was as freaky as I thought he was and my dad had to shake her shoulder to get her to stop looking at me as I was pulled out of the room by my wrist.
Orochimaru had a pretty strong grip on my wrist and the pain in my wrist was really the only thing that was keeping me focused. For some reason I felt like blushing with him holding my wrist, dragging me out into the pouring rain. We were headed for a building near the main one we just left, but I really couldn't focus at all. What the hell is wrong with me? It's just because he looks so much like a girl. Yeah, that's it. There's no other reason I would blush just because a guy touched me.
I pulled my wrist out of his grip and said a little harsher than I had meant to,"I can walk by my fucking self, thanks." He just shrugged and continued walking along ahead of me. That's when I started to realize why he hadn't let go of my arm. He had an umbrella. I didn't. I decided that it would be worth it to get wet, it meant that the dreaded uniform I was still wearing went down with me. It had to die. I would set the damned thing on fire if I had to!
Orochimaru gave me an odd look over his shoulder before turning back to the sidewalk. We walked up to an even bigger building that looked to be about three stories tall. He simply walked in, knowing I was still behind him and said calmly in a smooth, oddly sophisticated tone,"Might I ask why it is you are wearing your uniform? You aren't required to wear that unless you are in class." I suddenly felt somewhat hurt and betrayed. How could my parents do this to me? Not only were they sending me to my own personal hell but they were also sending me here with nothing but my uniform while other guys here got to dress completely normal after school and on weekends.
It's. Not. Fucking. Fair.
I just frowned and said in an annoyed tone,"My parents think I'll make a run for it if they let me anywhere near normal clothes." The girly looking snake-man just quirked an eyebrow but didn't ask any further questions. We walked up the large staircase that lead to the second and then the third floor in silence and he lead me to room 333. At least I won't forget my dorm number.
Orochimaru simply pushed the door open and said in that same smooth, flowing voice,"This is your room. Only ten other people live here at the moment, including myself, but more should show up soon. The key to your room is on the desk." He flashed another one of those rapist looking smiles that freaked me out and said in an extremely creepy tone,"Well, Jiraiya, I hope you have a nice day. Feel free to knock on my door if you need anything." And with that he turned around and walked away.