Disclaimer Twilight belongs to Stephanie Meyer. I just play with the characters.
Warnings Suicidal thoughts. Angst. I like to think that when Seth's upset, he takes after his big sister and swears. A lot. You've been warned.
So this was hell.
Sitting on the sand, Seth poked at the fire with a stick, watching bright red sparks die out against the star-studded sky. Hell. He had thought hell was supposed to be bloodshot flames and red sparks licking the skin from his skeleton, but he had been wrong. Hell was the siren song of the ocean, calling him to it as it whispered sweet nothings in his ear. Come and dance with me, Seth. Come and forget him. Come and drown.
Shivering, Seth threw the tree branch into the flames causing another burst of sparks. They hovered for a moment as if these worldly things could take the shine from the stars themselves. Then they died.
Just like he had.
His own emotions must have been in such a jumble that Jasper couldn't have made sense of them. He could still see the confusion in Jasper's face as he stumbled over the words. The way his caramel coloured brows had pulled together over golden eyes that were slowly losing their amusement. The way his perfect lips had parted in a silent gasp when Seth had finally managed to say the word.
Imprinted.
"Seth..." Jasper had started, his southern drawl picking up inflections in his name that Seth hadn't even known was there. The vampire had paused, seeming to search for words.
But Seth wasn't stupid. Oh, he was stupid to imprint on a bloody fucking vampire, but he knew what Jasper's answer was going to be. Had known it since the second he had felt the fire of the imprint sweep through his blood, burning any thought but those of Jasper from his mind.
A werewolf may be able to love a vampire, but no vampire could love a werewolf.
Considering the ocean's sweet embrace, Seth leaned back against a log. Was this what Leah had felt like, watching Sam leave her for another woman because of some genetic destiny written in the stars? He felt tears on his face, but didn't bother to wipe them away. And now, his own star-crossed love life was lost because he fell in love with a fucking vampire. He heaved in a gasp, tasting the briny promise of the ocean on his tongue.
Hell wasn't fire and brimstone. It was loving someone and knowing that you were trapped because of your genetics. Because of destiny. There was no way out of it, no loophole he could exploit. Jasper could never want him and he could never want anyone besides him. Hell was cold, a kind of cold that spread its eternal frost over his bones. The kind that made the whispers of the ocean, Come dance in my currents, Seth, come drink my briny waters with your lungs, break your bones along my shore, seem almost tempting.
There was the soft pad of feet on the sand behind him. No doubt Leah would be out searching for him after he didn't come home. But these steps were heavier than her's, and much more graceful. So not Leah.
"Go away, Jake," he shouted. He didn't want to have to listen to Jacob complain about the fucking imprinting and fucking Bella. Not now. Not ever again.
"It's not Jacob." A voice drawled in a delectable southern accent.
Seth scrambled to his feet, nearly throwing himself into the fire when his foot slipped on the loose sand. Jasper was there instantly, his slender fingers wrapped around Seth's bicep. Going limp in his hold, Seth swallowed hard. He couldn't read the emotion in Jasper's eyes. If there even was emotion there. Focusing on putting his feet in their proper place, Seth scowled at the ground. Maybe vampires didn't fucking feel. Wouldn't that be a lovely thing right now?
A thought flared in brain, drowning out his embarrassment. He caught at Jasper's shirt with one hand. "What are you doing here?" he demanded, frantically looking for the gleam of wolf eyes in the shadows around them. He couldn't see any, but that didn't mean that they weren't there, waiting for the opportune time to rip Jasper apart. "The others, they'll kill you."
Leaving one hand curled around Seth's bicep, Jasper placed his free hand over Seth's dark fingers on his chest. The action brought Seth's attention back to man he was now clinging to. With a sharp gasp, Seth stepped back. Or tried to. Jasper's hold was gentle, but it kept him where he was.
Jasper gave a small smile, one side of his mouth pulling higher than the other. The sight of it made Seth's chest hurt. "I think the pack will let it pass this once. Considering," his smile grew, a slightly mocking tone entering his voice. "the gravity of the situation."
Seth narrowed his eyes. "Don't mock me." He drew as far back as he could while Jasper held him. "It's not like I fucking chose you to imprint on." Pulling a breath into lungs that suddenly seemed to breathe anything besides oxygen, his chest heaving, he continued. "Do you know how much I wish it was someone – anyone – besides you?"
"Seth." Jasper whispered. With the whispering of his name, Seth could see it all again. The confusion in Jasper's eyes, the silent parting of his lips, the rejection that was about to come.
He tugged away from him, but couldn't rip his hand from Jasper's hold. Like holding hands with a fucking statue. Except he doubted that a statue could cause him this much pain. "Let me go."
"If I do, you'll run again." Jasper's voice was quiet.
"And this time I won't stop running," Seth snapped, his heart breaking. The imprint in him screamed for him to throw himself at Jasper, to tangle his hands in that stupid honey blond hair and to smother whatever fucking words he was about to say next. To kiss him into silence. To claim him as his own as he knocked him off his feet, to lie in the sand beside the fire with Jasper's limbs tangled in his.
To watch the sparks dance against the stars until morning light.
But he couldn't.
And he would never be able to.
At his back, the ocean was whispering, calling to him in a mockery of Jasper's southern drawl. Darl'n. Darl'n.
Jasper released Seth's arm to drag his hand through his blond hair. His expression darkened as he studied Seth. Seth scowled at him. He fought the urge to run his fingers through Jasper's hair, to see if those golden strands were as soft as they looked.
"An imprint can never be broken, right?" Jasper asked, a pained look on his face.
Seth blinked tears from his eyes. If there was one thing he was grateful for it, it was the darkness. At least in the dark, Jasper wouldn't be able to see wetness of his eyes. "No."
The ocean started again in a sing-song whisper. I'll never leave your side, and you'll never leave my tide.
Jasper sighed, and Seth could feel his chest moving beneath his hand. "Don't cry."
"Fuck you."
Placing a delicate hand on Seth's lower back, Jasper pulled him closer till only a breath separated them. There was a small smile on his face again, sadness somehow caught in the upturned corners of his lips.
A few inches shorter then him, Seth had to crane his neck to look up at the vampire. The blood in his veins picked up speed, warming his cheeks and neck. Even if the bloody vampire couldn't see him blushing, he knew that Jasper must be able to hear his heartbeat racing. To feel the passion and embarrassment twisting inside him. "What are you doing?"
Taking his hand from Seth's back, Jasper wiped the tears from Seth's cheek. His thumb was cold, but it felt good on Seth's too hot skin. "You love me Seth?"
Why did the fucking empath even have to ask? Couldn't he of all creatures feel the deep need that Seth had for him? The respect that Jasper had garnered by his own merit, without the imprint? Hadn't he been able to tell that even before the belated imprint had kicked in, Seth had been well on his way to falling in love with a vampire? That he had been counting on his imprint to save him, not to send his soul to this icy hell for loving a creature that could never love him?
Jasper's slid his fingers down Seth's face and grasped his chin when he tried to look away. Slanting his gaze away and scowling, Seth nodded. "Yes." He hated the way his voice cracked when he said it. "I love you."
Jasper's voice was low as he bent closer to Seth. Seth could feel the vampire's breath caressing against his lips as he spoke. "I don't love you."
Seth, Seth, Seth, Seth. The ocean's call echoed with every beat of his broken heart. Why did he have to fall for someone so cruel, so incapable or unwilling to see that with every move he made, every word he murmured, he was driving Seth closer to the edge? Seth could already taste the ocean in his mouth as his tears spill over his lips.
Even closer now, Jasper tilted Seth's chin upwards. "But I do really, really, like you, darl'n."
With that, Jasper closed the distance between them, kissing the salt from Seth's lips. In the distance, the tide receded, taking with it the whispers of hell.