A/N: This is about struggling with thoughts about people of the same sex. It is slash. If you have a problem with either or both, then don't read this story. I think that takes care of everything. Oh, and the situation in this first chapter is loosely based on someone I knew. That being said, enjoy.
"Drake?" Josh said. He looked down the stairs of Belleview High. Drake had just taken a nasty fall. Josh hoped his brother was okay. He hurried down the stairs as Mr. Calvert followed. "Drake?" he said again.
"I'm fine," Drake said, trying to pull himself into a sitting position.
Josh looked at his brother and shook his head. Drake had been goofing off on the stairwell and tumbled down the last flight of steps. What a surprise that he fell.
"Wow, man, that was so cool," said Trevor, running down the stairs.
"Does it hurt anywhere?" Josh asked, shooting a glare in Trevor's direction.
"Well, my arm hurts a little, I guess," said Drake. He moved it. "OW! Never mind, it hurts a lot."
Josh looked at it.
"Oh, man, it looks like you might have dislocated your elbow.
"Ow," Drake said again. That wasn't something he wanted to hear.
"We're going to have to get him to a hospital," said Mr. Calvert, pulling out his cell phone. "I'll have someone get the principal and call his parents. Think you're going to be all right, Drake?"
"Sure," Drake replied. "Great." He moved. "Ow."
"Don't worry," said Trevor. "I'll even go with you."
"That's really not necessary," said Drake, looking slightly worried at that.
Drake sat on the table in the emergency room. Fortunately, he'd been spared having Trevor with him since Mr. Calvert told Trevor to go back to class or he'd get a week of detention.
Sure enough, Drake had popped his elbow out of place, and it hurt. The doctor had put it back in place and said he'd return in a few minutes. Drake sat there, looking miserable.
"Did you learn a lesson from this?" Audrey asked.
"Yes," said Drake. He sighed. He had to wear a sling for a little while, but that was it. And anyway, the girls would just baby him. It wouldn't be too terrible, except for the pain that was still shooting through his arm.
The doctor finally walked back into the room.
"Okay, Drake," he said. "I'm going to give you some pain medication. I know your arm must hurt. That should be all. You'll need to go in for a check up for that in a week or so. Your mom can make that appointment. Now, be careful with that arm. No heavy lifting, no unnecessary movement. Oh, and I hear you play guitar. You shouldn't do that while your arm is still sore either."
"Great," Drake said.
"Oh, come on," said Josh. "It isn't for that long."
"I guess so," Drake replied. He sighed. "Okay. I just want to get these painkillers so my arm feels better."
"Okay," said Audrey. "If there's nothing else, we'll leave now."
"Nope," the doctor replied. "That should be everything. If there's any more pain, don't hesitate to return."
"Thank you," said Audrey as she ushered her boys out of the hospital.
Drake climbed the stairs to the bedroom he shared with Josh and sat down on the couch.
"No guitar," he moaned. "Why'd I have to fall?"
"Why'd you have to act like an idiot on the stairs?" Josh asked.
"Oh, forget it," said Drake. "Hey, where's those painkillers?"
"Here," said Josh, handing Drake the package from the pharmacy.
"Um," said Drake.
"What?" Josh asked.
"Would you mind opening it?"
"Oh, yeah, sorry." Josh opened it and handed Drake the correct number of pills. He looked at the bottle. "May cause drowsiness...interesting."
"I'd rather be tired than in pain."
"True that," said Josh, sitting on the couch next to Drake.
"This sling is going to bug me. Except when the girls see it."
"But you aren't going to school until Monday now, remember? You're not going anywhere."
"Oh, man. I can't even have my fun with it yet."
"Oh, calm down," said Josh. "It'll be fine. You'll be back to normal in no time."
"Yeah, right," said Drake.
Little did Josh know that he was correct, Drake would return to normal soon. However, Josh would be the one in a situation in just a few short days. And interestingly enough, as always, it would be Drake getting him into this particular situation.
Josh came home from work the next night, making his way through the house. He got up to his bedroom and tripped. He made a noise and heard Drake move in his bed.
"What?" Drake asked. "Josh? Oh, I'm glad you're home. It's always so nice to see you."
It was evident that Drake's pain medication was working. It had the same effects that too much of Helen's painkillers had on her after her eye surgery: It made him loopier than a loopy loop.
"Yeah," said Josh. "It's always lovely to see you too." He found that humoring Drake worked best when he was in this state.
Drake glanced around quickly.
"Can you hand me that pillow?" he asked. "My arm isn't comfortable right now."
"Sure," said Josh. He grabbed the pillow Drake had been referring to and climbed up close to Drake's bed to help him fix it. "There," said Josh. "Better?"
"Yep. You're great, Josh," said Drake. "Such an awesome brother. So kind. So caring. So cute."
Wait. What? That medication sure did a number on Drake's sense of reality.
"And you're pretty handsome yourself," said Josh, getting ready to climb down from Drake's bed.
"No, I mean it," said Drake. "You are. I love you."
"I love you too, brother, now..." He suddenly stopped. He froze. He had just felt Drake's lips brush softly against his. What the hell was that? "Drake..."
"Hmm?" asked Drake. "I'm tired now. I'm going to sleep."
"Yeah..." said Josh. Drake closed his eyes and was soon sleeping soundly. Josh was still frozen in place. What had just happened? Drake had just kissed him, that's what! Josh realized where he was and carefully climbed down onto the floor. He was very confused.
Josh changed into pajamas and climbed into his own bed. The problem was, he couldn't sleep. All he could think about was what Drake had just done.
Maybe he was taking it too seriously. Drake was under pain medication. It made him completely crazy. He hadn't really meant a thing he said. Come on, Drake Parker, gay? That was ludicrous. Drake was definitely attracted to girls. How many girlfriends had he had in his lifetime? Josh had no idea what the actual number was, but he knew it was way over fifty. There was absolutely no way that Drake had meant anything he said or did while he was in that condition. Josh would be glad when Drake no longer needed the pain medication. If he acted that way without it, well, Josh could not handle that.
However, Josh's brain was constantly working, and he worried about things. What if that medication brought out a person's true thoughts and feelings? Was that possible? No. Drake liked women. There was no doubt about that. But why did he do that, even in his loopy state? Surely he had to have some common sense still. Even Helen had. Albeit very little common sense, but it was still there. Why had Drake done that? Because Josh was showing affection by helping him with his arm? Maybe. It had to be the painkillers. It just had to be those. Why else would Drake do that?
Why was Josh worrying about this the way he was? It wasn't like Drake had been in a perfectly normal state of mind and grabbed him and kissed him passionately. He had been under the influence of powerful pain medication and had just simply given him a soft kiss. Since it was only that, it must have been because Josh helped him make his arm comfortable. Yes. That was all it was.
But it still bothered Josh, and he couldn't sleep until he figured out why. Well, it had happened. Drake was a guy, and Josh was another guy. Drake had kissed him. Maybe it was just the strangeness of it all. No, people who are homosexual aren't strange. They just happen to like people of the same gender. But who expects their own brother to kiss them that way? Nobody. That had to be why Josh was reacting the way he was.
Josh turned over and tried to sleep. He found this difficult because even though he thought he answered the question, he still wasn't satisfied. Why not? Why couldn't he just believe it was the medication?
Then Josh had a thought. Maybe he didn't want it to be just the medication. Maybe he wanted it to be Drake's true feelings.
But that was silly. Josh liked girls just as much as Drake. He just didn't date the way Drake did. Josh chuckled to himself. They'd have a good laugh about this later.
Josh finally felt himself drifting off to sleep, but as he tried to fall asleep, he found himself still thinking about Drake and how nice that kiss felt.
Another A/N: Just so you know, only kisses like that appear in this story...so if that was a concern, don't worry about it. I'm focusing on the emotional and mental, not the physical. Because I think the emotional and mental are most important. And you'll find out more as you read.