To Hell and Back Again
Disclaimer - All characters belong to Stephanie Meyer and I am not making any money from this story.
Here is a new story I have started, I hope you like it.
It takes place just over a year since the Cullens left. Bella found out about the wolves earlier in this story. So Jake hasn't had much chance to become her 'sun' but he had just started to help her heal. P
Please leave a review and tell me what you think :D
And on with the story.
Chapter one
It's cold. Raining. Yet here I stand outside for hours. Everyone has already left but I just can't make my legs move. They are numb just like the rest of my body. I can't breathe, there is a gaping whole in my already broken heart. I don't know how I am going to cope with this pain, it's so much worse now. I didn't think it was possible. I didn't even get to say goodbye, the last time I saw him I never told him how much he meant to me and how glad I am that I came to forks. But now he is gone. Charlie. Dad.
Some drunk driver pulled out at a junction at collided with his car straight on. I was told he died on impact but it doesn't make it any easier knowing he didn't suffer. That he went quickly with no knowledge of what was happening. I pull in deep breaths trying to hold in the terror that grips onto my soul. I thought I was alone before but now... now I was really alone. I had no one. I could go and see Renee but I didn't belong there anymore. I didn't belong anywhere.
My legs collapse from underneath me but before I reach the ground I am caught with scorching arms. Jacob. I presumed he left with the rest of his pack, but I should have known better. He wouldn't leave me out here alone. I give in to the sobs as he carries me in his arms to my fists clench on his shirt in a vice grip. He was the only one here that understood how broken I really was but no matter how hard he and his pack tried I never truly belonged with them. Not me. The vampire girl. Even if I haven't spoke to them in over a year. I can't believe that Alice didn't see this, didn't come and help even if he told them not to. She was my best friend, my sister. Underneath the grief another emotion was creeping through. Anger. Anger at them for leaving, for not being here when I needed them the most. I focused on the anger it helped the feeling of drowning on sorrow ease slightly. It cleared my mind for the first time in months.
"Bella...honey, you need to let go"
The voice of Jake broke through the red mist that was descending over me, I took in my surroundings and realised he and put me in my truck but couldn't move as I still had a death grip on his shirt. I unclenched my fist and brought them to my lap, Jake's hand engulfed both of mine for a brief second before he let go. He shut the door and moved round to the driver's side, he slipped in silently and started up the engine. I looked out of the window watching as forks sped by on the trip back home. No. Not home anymore, it was now an empty shell, just like me.
My tears were silently traveling down my cheeks, the sobs have stopped by the tears were endless. As we neared the house I prepared myself to enter. I wanted to refuse, to run away and never to return to this hell. But I couldn't I had to go back in, to get things sorted. His things. My eyes closed as another wave of pain engulfed me, a warm hand took hold of one of mine and brought it to the middle of the seats. Jake wouldn't leave me alone tonight, even if I told him to leave he would just change into wolf form and stay in the woods next to the house.
The engine of the truck turned silent, I opened my eyes and here we were. I couldn't move I just stared, how was I supposed to go in there knowing I would never see my dad again. Knowing he would never bring in a new batch of fish, never would I walk in on a Rangers game. A whimper must have escaped me because Jake pulled me onto his lap and started stroking my hair.
"Shh, Bells it will be ok, I'll never let you be alone. I will always be here for you!" I turned to look in his eyes, and I wanted to believe him, to believe in the hope that was shining in his eyes. But how could I. My eyes slowly drifted back to the house but I made no move to get out of the truck. I still just wanted to run away, to forget about everything that happened. But I couldn't. I remembered how torn up he was when I was a 'zombie'. I couldn't do that anymore, not now. I would live. I would live for my dad.
It didn't seem possible at the moment that there would be anything other than heart wrenching pain, but even if that pain never went away I would become better at hiding it. I wouldn't waste my life when he had his stolen away to early. I wish I could have thought of this when he was still alive, and show him that the Cullens hadn't ruined me forever. I guess it took the pain of losing Charlie to show me what real pain is, not the mediocre pain I felt when Edward left. Speaking his name didn't hurt not when I was in too much pain already.
I opened the drivers side door and climbed of Jake onto the ground. Walking slowly up the garden the house looked terrifying, like it would swallow me up whole if I dared enter. My steps faltered, I couldn't do it. Then I was aware of a presence by my side, he took my hand and I held on like he was my raft saving me from drowning. I would be selfish for a bit longer and use Jake's strength to help me get through the worst of this. But I would get through this.
I set of walking to the front door again with Jake by my side. As I stood unlocking the door I vowed to my dad that I would make him proud, I wouldn't disappoint him any longer. As I stepped over the threshold I vowed to leave the weak part of me behind, it wouldn't hold me back any longer. So as I stepped into the house I left my heart outside.