Note: I own nothing related to Constantine or Hellblazer, etc. I wrote this for no particular good reason, I was just bitten by an evil plot bunnie while waiting for an important call so I couldn't use the internet. (Darn dial-up.) Chas drags John shopping for food at a local supermarket. What could happen? OH, YOU'LL SEE!
Soupernatural
Aisle One: Fresh Fruits, Breads, Vegetables.
John was facing down one of the most terrifying, disgusting enemies ever. It made him wince, it was so bright. It threatened to alter the very fabric of reality and destroy his way of life.
"Come ON!" Chas pulled him through the supermarket doors, cart in the other hand. "It won't KILL you to go shopping once in a while!"
John braced himself as the doors opened with an angry hiss, but they did no more than that. He opened an eye cautiously and saw Chas roll his eyes impatiently.
"C'mon, we've got to get some REAL food." he rubbed his hands together. "Chas the Amazing, will actually be able to COOK some food!" he cackled in a mock-evil way and pushed the cart towards the first aisle.
Some dull elevator-type music was playing over the intercom. Every so often it would change, to...play almost the same piece, over and over and over...
John was trapped in some nightmare of a store.
Chas looked around. There were so many wonderful things to get, so many wondeful food items to choose from. He almost felt like a little kid again, going shopping with his parents. As he picked through the vegetable bins to find the best choices for a salad, John wandered about, wishing desperately he could go outside and wait in the car. It was not like him at all to be afraid of anything, but this place, full of bright lights, cheerful people, canned music and -
"Why hello there, Johnny-boy."
He turned his jump into a whirl and fumbled for a weapon.
He had none.
He silently cursed Chas for making him leave all his protections at home.
Balthazar had a cart of his own which was full of fancy delicatessen things from the back of the store. French stick bread, garlic salts, odd-looking cheeses, hams and expensive looking mineral water bottles.
John raised an eyebrow. "What are you doing here, you scum half-breed?"
Balthazar gave a little forward roll of his head and shoulders, his expression changing into a sly smile.
"I'm hosting a dinner party tonight, I thought I'd actually try shopping for a change." he raised an eyebrow. "And you?"
"John, why are you talking to him?" Chas said in a warning tone of voice, pushing him to the left with his cart. "That's the BAD guy...and we need bananas. I'm going to get some soup, you go get the fruit." and he pushed by them and was off.
John and Balthazar watched him speed off, feet on the bar over the wheels. John blinked. Balthazar actually broke out laughing, and put a hand on his forehead.
"That boy is just a big kid." he said, guiding John towards the bananas with his cart. As the still incredulous John picked through the yellow fruits, there was a yell and a clattering sound from the next aisle over.
Balthazar turned his head.
"I think Chas has found the soup." he said demurely, as John dropped the bananas and ran. He picked them up and followed John, chuckling all the way.
End Part One.
Aisle Two: Soups, Crackers, Pre-packaged Meals coming soon!