Sammi here, I just want you to know, I'll answer all your reviews every 3 chappies. So be patient, and if I forget, someone remind me.

I sat there on that edge, looking out into the water. On a cliff I sat the same cliff the Barron's flag once sat. Misty both out there in the wild, where the water travels around the world flowing without a care, and in my confused mind. The same mind that choked on hesitation and fear of asking the person, the very same person you loved and loved alone through you're entire life. The one that saved you and world countless times. To ask that person if they feel the same way you do.

I keep thinking about this, over and over again. Salty water clusters form in my green misty eyes. No matter how much groups up, I forbid them to fall. I forbid letting them drip down and run down my pale cheek and sink into the cool ground. It would be pointless. No matter how much tears cloud my eyes, no matter how true, sad, painful they really are, they would mean nothing.

They would mean nothing because the person these tears are created for will never see them. These tears will never sink into their hearts and root their feelings into theirs, because the person I want to show these tears the most will not care.

The one you have cared for, for now 18 years, and still do, every waking moment.

My tears gone cold I wonder why… -song-

He was gone, out of my reach now, I could never have him back never. I would rather die then to see him with her. The bitch who stole him from me…

Why? Why couldn't my feelings rule over my fear of rejection and hate? Why couldn't my army of love win? True love. Why couldn't my love conquer my mouth before my thoughts of regret, hatred and hesitation?

I felt a drop of cold water fall on the tip of my nose, then another on my aqua blue hair, and another and another. It began to rain. I sighed.

I got out of bed at all

These times were the times you hate yourself too much. Times where you stare out at the water and look down at the barely stable cliff you sit on, and stomp on it as hard as you can, praying it would fall over, and take you with it into the mucky water, and die as fast as possible. Times where you scream at yourself so much, yelling and stomping of how much you hate yourself, over and over again, of what a coward you are, of how that slut got him before he did. How you play back in your head, scenes where they hug each other tightly, kiss, how the one you love wraps his arms around what should've been you.

Each time you do, it tares you apart from inside out, how the one you love mocks your feelings and plays with what you see. When you feel love sick inside the deep hole of your gut.

Then to bang your body against grey crumbled walls, trying to break your bones, trying to give as much pain to yourself just to forget about what you missed out.

Then you fall over on your back and bite your lip to make it bleed. Tasting the bitterness, you sit up. All the pain you caused to yourself was worth nothing. No matter how much you bruised yourself, no matter how much you bleed, you still see his smile, just smiling at you back in your old village where everything was fine. Where it was only you two…

These suicidal times bring out your small cutting knife, small and sharp, and slowly stroke your hand with the edge of the blade, cutting deeply and painfully into your pale flesh. When you're done, you look at your hand to find a big blotch of blood, which only took your mind off your losses for a few seconds. The pain and cutting was worth every millisecond of it.

You do it again a few more times on your legs and elbow and arm, trying to replace you thoughts with pain.

The mourning rain clouds up my window,

You throw the knife off the ragged cliff and look at what you did to yourself. You shake your head in disgrace and sadness. It wasn't enough. You crawl over over to the edge leaving little blood drops and big puddles of red liquid.

You look down the cliff that would not crumble and fall into the water taking you with it. Waters were calm and muddy. It would be impossible to get out of and easy to drown in.

You stand up with shaky legs ready to throw yourself into the water but fall back down. Why kill yourself now, could there still be hope with your love.

I laughed at the thought. There would be no hope.

But I can see it all…

You sit down and let your blood fall for a bit till your wounds dry and turn to rough red scabby marks, and lookout in the horizon. Thinking about the person you would kill a precursor for.

I let my bangs fall into my face, while these emotional images flash through my head. What if I would really do that… it wasn't me. I could never do that. But it hurt. The emotional pain just hurt so much; maybe another pain would at least take my mind off it for a minute or so. Kill the other pain but it's just pathetic to even find out.

I've been gone for 2 months from the garage now. I wonder if they miss me. I wonder if they ignored my letter telling them not to look for me and tried looking for me anyways...

I wonder how he's doing… with Daxter, racing, the missions…

I wonder if… he'll ever be mine again…

Even if I could, it'll all be grey,

But your picture on my wall

It reminds me

That it's not so bad…

"It's not so bad…."

Whoa! First chappie, I hope you liked it, this is my first fic, so please, want to hear what you all have to say. But before you write that 'this doesn't sound like kiera'

I just want you to know, I had to over exaggerate a bit. It will come into the story later. Ok, I'm not going to be updating as much as the next guy, but if I stop writing the fic, I'll tell you guys. And I'm not the person to add a lot of chat at the end of their story, so yeah. Please review, I need to know what you think.

Sincerely

Sammi