A/N: This is a little fic about Kagura's death in the manga. I tweaked some things for the purpose of the story. Everything belongs to Rumiko Takahashi, and even the plot, pretty much. It's justa bit of elaboration on my part. :-D
Enjoy!
Kagura staggered across the barren landscape, her expression stunned. The moment she had dreamed for, hoped for, lusted for, begged for…it had just come to pass. She looked down at herself and touched her chest gently, where silently, crimson liquid continued to soak her kimono. Was it really there? "My heart," she murmured softly, as if contemplating an imagined reverie.
She wondered for a brief minute whether or not it was just dream. Maybe she would wake up, like she always did. And she always did wake up to another morning, wake to Naraku's ever-constant missions.
But the steadily building pain and warm red wetness against her skin was proof enough of the reality.
She was free.
Not quite.
Kagura smirked bitterly and forced herself to continue walking. She could fly away in a second, but she refused to do so. Where was she going? She didn't know. It didn't matter where. She would keep walking until she died, but she would not fly. She wouldn't give Naraku the pleasure of watching her agonize freely through the air. "He wants to watch me suffer," she thought sourly. "Well, damn him. I won't use the powers he gave me. I'll walk with my own two legs, thank you. You can burn in hell, Naraku."
"Sadistic beast," she thought. The rage was building in her lungs, and threatened to choke her with every step. He had given her back her heart and then poisoned her thoroughly with his miasma, just for the cruel pleasure of watching her die with the freedom she had longed for. "I hate him," she thought furiously. "I've always hated him." Now she was going to die on her own, far away from him, and in a place that reminded her of anything but him. She wasn't going to let him spoil her last few hours in this world. She wasn't going to give him that satisfaction.
She was going to milk her almost-freedom for all that it was worth. She wondered if she would ever experience real freedom. Freedom from worry, freedom from failure, freedom from heartbreak, and freedom from pain. It seemed very much like an impossible fantasy.
Kagura was startled out of her thoughts at the magnificent sight before her. She stopped and stared. It was a field of flowers, spread as far and wide as the eye could see. It was a brilliant carpet of color, interwoven with all the different kinds of flowers she could imagine. The blossoms rippled gently in the wind, almost beckoning her into their embrace.
She smiled. This was the place.
She ran. She ran into the flowery field as fast as she could. The ache from the wound intensified, but she ignored it. She wanted to die in the middle of all this rainbow glory.
She ran until she could not see anything but flowers for miles around. She stopped abruptly, and slowly lowered herself to the ground. The blooms reached up to her chest and tickled the wound. She breathed.
A gentle floral scent reached her, and the soft flower petals brushed her skin. It was odd. It was a place that had no hint of death and no stench of the dead and dying. She didn't know that such a place existed. She was glad that she had found it and a bit sorry that she would ruin its innocence with her blood.
Kagura wondered how long it would take for the miasma to dissolve her body. Would it hurt? She hated to admit weakness, but she was frightened of pain, and she was terrified of death. What awaited her beyond this life? She hoped it was something better.
Slowly, she inhaled the delicate flowery scent and let it calm her. She would wait.
Kagura closed her eyes and wished for sleep. "Sleep," she thought, "And maybe I'll just melt away, painlessly."
She heard a rustle in the flowers and a somehow familiar scent wafted over to her. Her eyes snapped open. A tall, slender figure stood before her. Long hair flowed easily in the breeze. Who was it? The sun's bright glare obscured her vision. She squinted.
It was Sesshoumaru. Kagura tried to hide her surprise. "Oh, but of course he would be here," she thought with a sudden realization. "He smelled me and thought that I was Naraku. Sorry that you were disappointed, Sesshoumaru." She was unaware that she had voiced the last thought out loud, so she was startled when she heard his voice.
"I knew it would be you, Kagura."
His voice was bland and flat, his face, expressionless. But his amber eyes flickered slightly, almost…pity.
"Oh." She had nothing else to say, except a vague sense of gladness. "He came to see…me? Why? Does he want the satisfaction of killing me himself?" she thought with confusion.
Kagura looked up at him, and saw his hand touch the sword at his waist. Slowly, he drew it out and waited, as if he was expecting for something to happen.
Kagura felt a wave of unexpected shock. "Isn't that the Tenseiga?" she thought with wonder. "The sword that revives the dead? Is he…is he trying to save me? Why would he want to do that?" Her thoughts wouldn't settle.
Sesshoumaru's eyes widened. "It's not working," he murmured. He quickly sheathed the sword.
Kagura settled back and laughed, a little sadly, if anything. "So, I guess I'm doomed to die, then, eh? Naraku did his work well. Not even the Tenseiga can do anything," she said derisively.
Sesshoumaru only looked at her, his golden eyes blank again. Was he just going to stand there and watch her die? She felt slightly uncomfortable at the thought. "Not doomed," he said, almost too softly to hear. "Saved."
She gasped. What? He must have seen her surprise. The corner of his lip twisted upward in amusement. Still too faint for a smile. But it was something.
He bent closer to her, staring at the wound, which was oozing miasma now. Kagura couldn't tell whether he was curious or disappointed. She just felt her throat knot up as he got closer and closer, until she could feel his breath against her skin. It was warm, and it sent shock waves up her spine. And something new. Her heart was pounding wildly in her chest, a sensation she had not felt before. "A heart is a wondrous thing," she thought faintly.
She was concentrating on his face, trying to memorize every feature, every line. She wanted to carry it with her forever. And suddenly, for the first time, she felt a twinge of regret. She was dying, and she would never meet up with him again. Not even by accident. Would she miss him?
Sesshoumaru straightened, finished with his inspection. He still said nothing. Kagura felt tears gathering in her eyes and marveled at it. She had never ever cried before. Not when Naraku squeezed her heart in punishment, nor when she learned that she would die. It was a foreign feeling. She wanted to say something, to laugh or make a joke, but she doubted that the words would be able to get past the enormous lump that was in her throat. No, she supposed that silence would have to do in this situation.
"Are you going, now?"
The question startled her, yet again. It seemed that he was always doing things to startle her. "Did he mean…am I dying?" she thought, "Why is he asking?" She wanted to laugh at his impatience. But she was afraid that it wouldn't come out properly.
"Yes." She answered simply, the only thing she could trust to say without horribly embarrassing herself with tears. She could already feel her heart becoming sluggish, slowed down by the poison of the miasma. It would be soon. Anything she wanted to say, she would have to say now. She felt a fresh batch of tears coming, and she blinked them away determinedly. She, Kagura of the wind, would not cry in her last moments.
Her chest felt strange, and when she looked down, she saw that there was already a small hole there. Her body was disintegrating into dust. She stared at the wonder of it. There it was, melting away.
It didn't hurt. She felt a little dizzy, and the images were starting to become hazy. She was immensely tired all of a sudden, like she would fall asleep in a second. She scrambled desperately to stay awake. "A few more minutes," she pleaded in her head.
It was slow, and gentle. Oddly gentle.
She looked up at Sesshoumaru again, and smiled. A real, sweet, serene smile. She immediately felt as if there were a thousand things to say, and she would never have the time to say it. All sorts of insane pleas of pity, declarations of love, sarcastic remarks, callous insults, whimpers of fear, and assurances of peace were pushing wildly at her lips. Then she wanted to laugh at the ridiculousness of it, and that made it better. She knew what to say.
"I'm happy." She paused as she watched him nod slightly, acknowledging her leaving. "Because in the end…I was with you." She saw his head abruptly jerk up, his eyes wide with amazement. Just his eyes, but it was enough for her. She had said everything she wanted and needed to say. He knew.
Kagura looked to the sky and held her breath. Yes, she was happy. She was not alone. She would never be alone. "Goodbye," she thought. And she let out her last breath.
Her body felt strange for the merest moment. Then she saw an explosion of dust. It was coming from her. The flowers smelled terribly sweet. His eyes seemed awfully gold. Her heart was achingly full. The air felt unbearably heavy. And finally, the sky came to meet her.
She was free.
-----------------
Sesshoumaru watched as Kagura burst into a cloud of dust and was carried away by the wind. "She's gone," he thought.
He turned to go. He was caught off guard by the sight of Inuyasha and his little group. Their eyes trailed the last remnants of ash as they floated lazily in the sky far away. The group was silent.
Inuyasha's eyes shot to Sesshoumaru. Inuyasha hesitated, as if considering what he should say. "Did Kagura…was she suffering?" His eyes glowed with concern.
Sesshoumaru was quiet. He looked up into the blue, blue sky and something caught his eye. It was a feather from Kagura's hair. It drifted down slowly. Sesshoumaru reached out and plucked it out of the air. The light glinted off of it. And suddenly, he felt his heart become vastly lighter.
"She was smiling." He pocketed the feather and glanced at the sky one last time. It wasn't goodbye.
A gentle breeze brushed his cheek, and he could have sworn he heard an echoing laugh.
----------------
Kagura felt light and delicate, nothing was hindering her. No Naraku, no missions, no worries. She danced and twirled and spun. She laughed. This was freedom. This was life.
I am the wind. The free wind.
I am Kagura.
A/N: Reviews would be much appreciated!