I Am Not A Robot…
~~~~~oOo~~~~~
A series of random, most likely quite lengthy, drabbles that just pop into my head. The title refers to Sherlock being 'high functioning sociopath' and how he is prone to emotions no matter how he hides them (I may explore this theme in later drabbles which could call for a pack of tissues). Some will be before The Fall for ease and others will be after, this will contain a multitude of pairings but I'll tell you when it's set and who with at the start of each (: This is my first set of drabbles so y'know, just have fun with them. Oh, and I won't be able to update very regularly due to exams and sports but hopefully you'll understand (:
Title: What A Prick…
Set: Pre-Fall
Pairings: None, but could be interpreted as Lestrade/Sherlock
Style: Fluff / Crack
Words: 403
Dedicated to: DakotaBeor, I managed to dream this up in an uneventful PE lesson with her help 3
Ah, there was nothing like a biting cold winter morning and a double homicide to get Sherlock bouncing on the balls of his feet.
"Can we go and look and the bodies yet?" John however did not like the cold and spoke through chattering teeth, "It's not that I want to see them but it is bloody freezing out here Sherlock!"
Taking pity on his freezing friend Sherlock ducked inside the door and began to inspect the two bodies in the hallway.
Just as he was intensifying his deductions about the two seemingly unrelated men he felt a presence behind him. Before he could turn two large hands clamped down on his shoulders, as he was about to shout at the intruder they began to rub and press their hands through his thick coat and push into his shoulders. A blush crossed his face as he realised how pleasing he found the simple motion. Spinning he turned to confront his secret masseur.
"Lestrade! What the hell do you think you're doing?" Sherlock deemed it best to hide his confusion with anger.
"What? It's what all the boxers do. It helps to psyche them up, I thought this'd help seeing as it was a difficult case even by your standards," Lestrade looked suspiciously innocent.
Sherlock decided to turn and face the bodies again for once unsure of how to retort. And suddenly it hit – hard.
"Wait, do that again," he snapped at Lestrade.
Replacing his hands he resumed the soothing circles on Sherlock's shoulders continuing until the detective's exclamation made him jump.
"That's it! Oh, that was clever, and we'd never have known. Well done Lestrade, you actually helped solve a case! The men's faces, they're both drooping slightly on the left side."
"A stroke," John questioned, confused because both men were far to you for that to be believable.
"No the killer used a much more precise and reliable method. Both men have absolutely no tension in their necks yet their expensive suits suggest high-end city jobs; the only explanation? Both men have a masseur. The method of killing? Simple. Acupuncture is used in relation to massaging, it is also fatal if administered incorrectly, yet almost untraceable. Thank you Lestrade."
Sherlock nodded and ran out the door chasing leads to a rouge masseur at a high end salon whilst everyone stood dumbstruck.
Lestrade turned to John, "Should I do that more often then?"