Looking back at everything, I wish I had stopped myself before things escalated to this…maybe then I wouldn't feel this dread that made my heart ache.

…but then, I would have never have experienced all these emotions. It's a win-lose situation when you fall in love. You're able to experience being cared about, feeling complete happiness, and a calmness that sweeps you off your feet.

All this comes with a price. I was aware of it. I knew what I was getting myself into and yet I chose to let it develop further.

I knew that I would end up hurt but at the time I was too lost in the feeling of being acknowledged by the person you think would never glace in your direction.

…Heichou...Will you be happy? Will you miss me?.. I myself doubt it. He won't have to be on guard anymore around a monster like me. Who know? Maybe that scowl on his face will go away. You'll finally be free from babysitting this brat.

I can't help but feel loneliness at the thought of being away from you and I know it's selfish of me but I can't stop hating the person that might be by your side after all this. I hate myself for that.

Maybe I should have stopped myself back then. I shouldn't have agreed to this.

Corporal, I love you.

No matter how much I tell myself that I wish this would have never happened, I know I'd do it a thousand times over. I don't know where you are; I hope you're not looking in my direction at the moment. I don't want you to witness what's going to happen next.

My eyes roam the ground below from inside the titan. There are bodies of soldiers scattered around, the ground is stained crimson red. Titans with deep cuts in the back of their necks lay motionless, their bodies occupying most of the ground. There are more of them lying sprawled around. The landscape is completely destroyed, trees are broken, and bushes are now painted red, craters on the ground in different directions.

Despite all this though, there's cheering. Joy filled shouts cut through the air.

Beaten up, covered in dirt, and injured the soldiers jumped into the air in victory. Others lay on their knees; tears fell from their eyes as grins settled on their face. Hugs were exchanged and the excitement will surely not wear off for a long time.

"We did it!" "Take that you beasts of hell!" "Did you guys see that? I was so cool out there." "HUMANITY HAS WON."

We won. No.

They won. Humanity has finally achieved victory against the titans. They have gained freedom!

I couldn't ask for anything more. My gaze fell onto all of my friends. I was the luckiest person on earth. I had a childhood friends who shares my dreams and always stuck by me no matter what, family who will sacrifice their life to protect me. And…the one who will never fall in love with me. The one I love the most.

I felt a sting behind my eyelids and soon tears began to fall. The salty droplets raced down my cheek, there was no indication that they would stop anytime soon. Crying of happiness? Of sadness? I don't know. They just kept spilling without a certain reason to why.

Smiling to myself, I made a decision. There's no need for a Titan shifter any more. Humanity is no longer livestock. They can roam the world making discoveries and living in peace, the survey corps will surely be dispatched since there are no titans left.

Yes, they all must go. This body can't withstand pain without triggering a protection instinct. I also don't want to burden Levi-Heichou anymore with having to make him kill me. Even someone as cool and collected as Heichou would be affected by taking the life of a human being.

I'm no longer needed in this world. Surely I'll be sent to be executed after this despite the help I've contributed to humanity. They won't feel completely safe until every last titan has been exterminated. I'm a monster and even worse a ticking time bomb in their eyes.

Armin will surely have a bright future. Mikasa will have a better life without having to look after me. Heichou will live a peaceful life. He'll surely have a beautiful wife who will love him. He can start a family. But most importantly, he can have a normal life.

Is it okay? Is it okay, Corporal, if I don't stop loving you? Can I love you forever?

I hope you say yes.

Yes...Its better this way.

I close my eyes, scared of what I'm going to do next. I felt a weight being lifted off of my shoulders.

My brain slowly shuts down as I feel my body begin to crystallize.

Hot smoke begins to sprout out of the titan as it turns from skin to bones. While the titan body begins to decay to bones, I'm slowly being consumed by the crystal. There's no turning back now.

My senses start to numb into nothing.

That's weird. I think I hear someone calling out my name?

Footsteps turning in to a frantic run.

I can't be sure.

I'm so tired. I want to return back to the times when I was happy with corporal by my side even if it wasn't exactly what I wanted. I wish I could have expressed my affection towards you one last time but it seems I'm running out of time. I wanted to be held in your arms once more while I grasped your shirt as if my life depended on it. I wanted to feel your lips pressed against mine. Most of all, I wanted to hear you say you love me. I'm aware that these are simple wishes and nothing more. This could never happen because I'm simply your toy and a freak.

All I want is to sleep, forever.