Disclaimer: This is fan-fiction. Enough said.
WARNING:
THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS [[RAPE]], ALTHOUGH NON-GRAPHIC. It is essential to the story line. If this makes you uncomfortable please do not read. Thank you.
In a single night Cass Savories lost her innocence, her trust in those closest to her and her faith in humanity. Her childhood was stolen from her, along with her hope. Her safe haven was destroyed, and a fear embedded itself so deep in her heart that she found herself frozen with terror when the darkness rolled around. In one night, Cass was slammed into the world of adulthood- and she would forever remember the night with sickening detail.
With her ballet slippers hanging in one hand, Cass walked down the dirt road barefoot. Her gym bag was slung across her back, and though it didn't weigh much when she started out it seemed to get heavier the further she walked. It wasn't too late, maybe around eleven-thirty, but La Push seemed to die after ten thirty on a week day. There wasn't a soul in sight, and for this Cass was grateful. She didn't want anyone to see the tears streaming down her face, her smudged make-up.
She felt enormously stupid for getting this worked about it in the first place. She knew that they weren't going to show up. Who cares if this was the biggest performance of her life, who cares if it was her birthday? What does it matter that they had all been best friends since kindergarten- over a decade ago? Who gives a shit if they promised they would be there? No one but Cass cared. And now even she didn't. What she was most angry about is that they- Quil and Embry- were supposed to take her home. The audition was in Port Angeles, But Cass only had enough cash to pay for half the ride home in a cab. Her father, who was in the Army, was out of town and no one else that she called answered the phone. Which didn't surprise her- it was a bon fire night. The people of La Push seemed to be stuck ten years in the past, only a handful of the community owning cell-phones. So the cabbie kicked her out somewhere at the start of Forks, and she had been walking ever since. She had taken her pointe shoes off before she had even stepped out of the cab- she wasn't willing to ruin them in the mud.
When she finally reached her house and slipped the key into the lock he made his move. Cass wondered as he shoved himself against her, wrapping one arm around her waist tightly and other her face, how she hadn't heard him come up after her. He was big, she could tell, and most definitely a full grown man.
His breath was hot on her face as he spoke into her ear, "Open the door."
When she didn't he shifted his hand so that it was pinching her nose closed and pressing so hard against her mouth that she couldn't breathe, and the harder she fought back the more he seemed to enjoy it. She kicked and clawed at him. He laughed lowly into her neck, and within a few minutes she felt herself get light headed, and when he slammed her head against the door her vision went black and her body limp.
When she finally woke up again he was on top of her, whispering dirty things into her ear. Telling her that he knew she liked it. She kept her eyes closed throughout the entire thing, terrified that if he knew she had woke that he would make her participate in what was happening to her. She had read in an article once about how a woman was raped, and he made her say things to him. Tell him how much she liked it, tell him to do things to her. It was horrible enough having to be raped, but to be forced into saying those things would only add to the humiliation.
To Cass it felt like an eternity, but when he was finally done she chanced a look. He was adjusting his pants, looking down but not at her, and she felt rage bubble inside of her. Before she could think about it she kicked her leg out as hard as she could, and a sickening pop sounded in the room when her foot connected with his knee. She rolled onto her stomach and climbed to her knees as he toppled over, his balance set off by her hit. She pushed herself to her feet and made it a few feet before his hand wrapped around her ankle, pulling her feet from under her and sending her to the ground.
As her head bounced against the wood flooring Cass realized the true meaning of the word desperation. In that moment she didn't care if she lived or died, all that mattered was that he suffered. She was going to send him to hell, even if she had to drag him there herself. She was desperate to make him pay for what he had done to her. She was going to be the last thing that he ever saw.
She swung her arms out blindly, her fingers catching the edge of the doorway into the kitchen. Pulling with all her might, she kicked wildly as he latched on to her free leg, pulling himself onto her. Cass clenched her right fist, and after she had twisted her body to face him, she brought her hand down with as much force as she could muster against the side of his neck. Though her hand slammed against the floor and pain exploded through her fingers, she was satisfied when he began to choke. His grip went slack and she jerked her legs away from him and stood up. She was dizzy, and she swayed as she ran into the kitchen and then up the back staircase. She could hear him behind her, his footsteps pounding. As she passed the bookshelf and the cabinet she paused long enough to tip them over in effort to slow him. Throwing the her father's bedroom door open, she made sure to lock it behind her before going into the closet and digging through his sock drawer.
It didn't take her long to find the gun, but when the monster that was after began to kick at the door she fumbled with the magazine. Sliding it in place, she clicked the safety off and swung around just as the door slammed open. The man looked around, searching for her, and when his eyes landed on her he stopped dead.
Cass herself wasn't full Quileute, her mother being of the German decent, but she had enough in her so that she didn't stand out too much on the Reservation. This man, he clearly didn't belong here. She had never seen him before, hadn't heard anyone talking about a stranger. La Push was tiny, it's people were close nit, and when someone who wasn't from the Reservation showed up everyone knew.
"You don't want to do that," he said, licking his lips. He was as tense as her.
Her lips lifted in a humorless smile, "You know the feeling you got when you saw me? The want you felt when you grabbed me? When you were stealing a part of me? Do you remember how much you wanted it?"
He didn't respond, but she watched him tense even more- like an animal getting ready to pounce on his prey. Years of her father drilling self-defense lessons in her head taught her to recognize the signs, to be the first to act. So she slipped her index finger onto the trigger, "That's how much I want to do this."
Before he had even completed his step towards her she had pulled the trigger. The impact sent him stumbling backwards, the bullet having gone through his chest, but as soon as the initial shock wore off he pushed towards her again. She didn't hesitate, she just emptied the rest of the rounds into his body. Even after he hit the ground she kept the gun pointed at him. She didn't move until his chest became still, until she was sure that he was dead.
Cass kept the gun gripped in her hand as she stepped over him, and she let out a scream when she slipped, landing in the pooling blood. She felt the warmth of it soak through what was left of her tights, into the front of the dress she had thrown over her leotard. She scrambled up, slipping a few more times, and made her way down to the kitchen where she called the police.
After hanging up the phone Cass made her way outside, past the open door with her house key still in it and her duffel bag on the porch and to the steps, where she sat down. Soon the sirens came, blaring through the night, and the noise brought the neighbors crawling out. When the lights from the police cars and the ambulance lit Cass up everyone turned to look at her. She heard their gasps, heard the police telling everyone to get back, that this was a crime scene. With the lights and the stares, Cass almost felt like she was on stage again. The star of the show.
"Cass?" She looked up to see Chief Swan kneeling before her, "Is he still inside?"
Cass had known Chief Swan her entire life. He was a friend of her fathers, of Billy Black's, and his daughter was Jacob's obsession. She had never in her fifteen years of knowing him seen the pained look that was on his face. She nodded, unfolded her arms from her lap and handed him the gun. He had another officer take it and put it in a clear bag, and watched the others move inside the house. Then he reached for her hand, and he didn't seem to mind that it was covered in blood, "Are you hurt anywhere else besides your head, Cass?"
She nodded again, and when he asked her if she was hurt on the inside the tears that had been threatening to fall spilled over and onto her cheeks. He carried her to the ambulance, rode with her to the hospital and stayed until her father made it there the next afternoon.
Her face was bruised, starting with her forehead and spreading down the right side of her face. She had seven stitches across her forehead where he had originally slammed her head into the front door. Her lip was split from where she bit into it when he grabbed her and she slipped, hitting her head once more. Her wrists, right ankle and hips were black and blue, as well as her thighs and her pelvic region screamed every single time she moved.
It took a lot for Cass to go home again, and even then she couldn't spend the entire night without waking up screaming. Her night terrors were so bad that in the weeks after she stayed with her aunt in Forks instead. Slowly she let go of the people she had been close to in La Push, her entire life there became an experience she sought hard to just forget.
Quil and Embry tried multiple times to talk to her, to see her. They came to her house every day for three weeks after until she finally spoke to them, severed all ties between them.
"I've got it, Aunt Olivia," Cass opened the front door and slipped outside. She tugged her sleeves down and crossed her arms over her chest. Her chocolate colored hair was pulled back and away from her face, and her scar was still pink and tender. Embry kept his eyes glued on it while Quil searched her own ocean blues, "You guys can't come here anymore. You're really starting to piss Olivia off."
"Cass, we just want to know if you're alright-"
"I'm fine," she cut them off, "You can go now."
Embry reached out for her hand, and when she jerked it away he gave her a hurt look. Then it melted off of his face, slipped into something different when his eyes met hers. She gave him a confused look as he just stared at her, and turned her eyes back to Quil as he spoke.
"We're so sorry. Sorry that we weren't there that night, you don't under-"
"Just shut up," Cass cut him off once more, and when he went to speak again she waved him off, "God, all you used to talk about what how weird Sam and his friends were. How it was freaky that all they did was walk around with a badass attitude ordering people around and lurking in the shadows. The Reject Police, wasn't it? Then all of the sudden all of you, even Jacob, are best friends with them? Bullshit."
"Cass, you don't understand. It's not like that!" Quil interjected, but she just rolled her eyes.
She wasn't done yet, "I understand perfectly. Things change. People change. They grow up and grow apart and make new friends. I get it. But you both promisedthat you were going to be there that night. And you weren't. Look me in the eyes and tell me that you didn't ditch me for them?"
She waited, looking at them both. Her gaze settled on Embry as she finished, "While you were out with your new friends, doing God only knows what, I walked home alone in dark and some big man who I didn't know followed me. He hit me so hard that I lost consciousness, and then he dragged me inside my own home where he raped me.
You know, ever since we were little you both always promised to be there for me. To protect me. But it turns out I don't need either of you anymore because by the time it was over he was the one who bled out upstairs and I was the reason. I killed him. And I picked up what was left of my life. All by myself."
"You blame us?" Embry asked quietly. He looked sick.
"When you both didn't show up for my audition I thought I was just going to lose you that night. Turns out I lost a whole lot more. If you would have just showed up like you promised I wouldn't have been alone, and he wouldn't have seen me walking in the middle of the night or me coming home to an empty house. He wouldn't have picked me," Cass shrugged, "But you weren't. He did. And I don't think I can ever forgive either of you."
"You can't just avoid us forever. This is small town, even if you stay in Forks from now on," Quil said, "I know you're upset, but you're going to have to at least speak to us again."
She reached behind her and gripped the handle of the front door, "My audition went well. I was offered the spot. I'm moving on now too." She gave her first real smile since that night, "And you know, three years and the thousands of miles New York puts between us- I'll have plenty of time to forget you both just like you forgot me."
And with that she pushed herself back into the house, shutting the door in their shocked faces.
Cass had held to her word- she hadn't come home the entire time she had been away at school in New York City, and even after that when she joined one of the most prestigious dance companies in Europe.
She had made new friends, created a whole new life that didn't include Embry or Quil or anyone else from the Reservation. She was happy- mostly. She still had the occasional nightmare, usually after a really stressful night, and she continuously looked over her shoulder when she was alone. There was this constant ache in her chest that never seemed to subside, and the further from La Push she got the more pronounced the ache seemed to get. She still had a photo of her and the boys, and in her weakest moments she would pull it out and look at it- her eyes always resting on Embry.
She had never intended to ever go back home, to ever set foot within a hundred mile radius of the place, yet here she was. A little over four years later, sitting with her father in a tiny little diner right outside of La Push, watching the rain slid down the window.
He had gotten older. His hair a little more grey. He was in his forties now. But he still looked as handsome as ever. Sitting back, she rested her hands in her lap, her thumb sliding over the denim of her jeans. She looked up at him when he began to speak, "I didn't think you were actually going to come."
"You hate Olivia. You would have had all of her things just thrown away and you wouldn't have even planned a proper funeral," Cass rolled her eyes, "And don't tell you that you don't hate her. Everyone in Washington knows you blame her for Mom leaving."
She watched in satisfaction as he rolled his own caramel eyes and murmur, "Not everyone in Washington."
"Dad. Olivia gave Mom the same advice that you gave me. If you aren't happy, then don't stay," Cass shrugged, "And we both know that she wasn't happy. It wasn't your fault and it wasn't mine, and even though it hurt we did amazing without her."
Cass stood up and kissed her father's forehead, "I'll be right back. Bathroom break."
She navigated her way around the diner and out the door, the bathrooms being around the corner. Concentrating on her cell phone, she didn't notice the group of people walking towards the diner until someone called out, "Cassandra Savories? Good God, is that really you?"
She looked up to see Sue Clearwater and her son Seth, and behind them Billy and Rachel. Another group, a larger one, was a few paces behind them and they stopped dead when the noticed Cass. She didn't bother giving them even a polite smile, instead looking down to text her dad a quick goodbye as she spoke, "Yes, Ma'am, it's really me."
"You've really grown up, haven't you? You know we're so proud of you for making something of yourself. We watch you on the specials when they come on," Sue smiled, "Why don't you come sit with us? You and your daddy, I see him in there. Catch up?"
"Thanks, but you know, I was actually just on my way out," Cass interrupted. She could see Quil standing in the second group, stone still, but she didn't look at him directly, "I've got a ton to do before I leave."
"You weren't even going to say anything to us, were you?" Quil piped up. He was shaking, his brows furrowed, "You were just going to come and go without so much as a hello? What about Embry? Were you just going to do that to him too?"
Cass scoffed, "I don't what world you live in, Quil, but we aren't friends in the real one. Remember? I don't owe you, Embry or anyone else anything- not a hello and especially not a goodbye. The only reason I'm here is because Olivia passed away."
"You still blame us for what happened?"
"You know what I've learned since I've been away from here? There isn't a reason to explain what happened to me that night. I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time, and thinking about what led up to that doesn't matter because I can't change any of it. I can't take back my invitation, you and Embry can't show up like promised and I can never go back in time and stop him from raping me," Cass shook her head, "So it's not about blame anymore. It's about the life that I established, all by myself, that doesn't include any of you in it. So I don't owe you a visit while I'm here because I've grown up, and none of you grew with me."
They didn't say anything to her, not one of them, so she wished them all a good dinner and walked to her car. With a death grip on the wheel, she was so proud of herself for keeping the tears in until she pulled into Olivia's drive.
Author's Note:
Did you like it? I know that it was a little heavy, but it's essential to the story line. I was going to be more detailed, I rewrote this whole thing with less detail, but I thought that the subject of rape wasn't something that needed to be outlined like that.
This is going to be multi-chapter. I don't know how long, exactly, but I am aiming for at least 10+. Review please! Give me your suggestions and thoughts, I'd appreciate it!