Disclaimers: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by J.K. Rowling, various publishers including, but not limited to, Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros. Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Author's Notes: This story was written for Interhouse Fest 2014 and was originally posted on Livejournal. Beta-read by Zeldagirl367.

Warnings: Explicit Sexual Content. Violence. Blood.

The One with the "Sweet" Girl

"Your new case."

That was all Teddy Lupin said when Scorpius walked in before throwing a folder to Scorpius from the other side of his office. Fortunately for Scorpius, he was an Auror with incredibly developed reflexes, so much so that he only fumbled the folder twice before he had his fingers tightly wrapped around it.

He looked at the folder with diffidence. The Head Auror was in France for a month, coordinating the security of the English Quidditch Team during this year's Quidditch World Cup, and Auror Teddy Lupin was organising the Department during his absence, and he often came up with unpleasant jobs for the youngest Aurors; just to have a laugh, really.

There was no name on the folder, which was surprising; they usually had names and dates and other details that made the storing less complicated for whoever was unfortunate enough to be assigned to the archive that week.

He cocked an eyebrow as he raised his eyes on Teddy. "My case? Or Potter's and mine?"

"Just yours," replied Teddy.

Scorpius furrowed his brow when the senior Auror nodded towards the folder, as if to tell him to open it.

He did.

And he stared.

On the first page had been stapled the picture of a girl. She had a long cascade of red, shiny hair that disappeared behind frame of the photograph, freckles all over her face and big, brown eyes. The girl was smiling and fluttering her eyelashes to the camera. She looked like a lovely young lady with whom Scorpius wouldn't have minded working one bit.

Teddy closed the door at his back.

"Don't let that picture fool you," he told him grimly, "she's quite… a handful."

"Who is she?" he asked. She looked very much like a Weasley, and he didn't want to turn the page and find the surname printed everywhere. There was nothing wrong with the Weasleys, really, but he had met enough at Hogwarts to last him a lifetime.

"Her name is Lily Luna Potter; 21 years old, and a journalist for the Daily Prophet. She spent the last three years travelling as—"

"Potter?" Scorpius' complexion was naturally pale, but somehow he felt the little colour he had drain from his face at the mention of the name. He looked down at the picture once again.

Teddy nodded. "Potter," he confirmed.

"You mean…"

He nodded again. "The Head Auror's youngest child, yes, that's what I mean."

Scorpius darkened. "Is this a baby-sitting job?" he asked rather dryly. He was glad that the Head Auror was not there, so at least he had a chance at refusing the job.

"No," he replied calmly as he leant his elbows on his desk, "it's a protection program."

"Why me?" asked Scorpius, trying to hide the suspicion that was already seeping through his voice. "I mean, her brothers are Aurors, her father is the Head of the Department, why can't they spare a moment to look after her?"

Teddy chuckled softly. "Word of advice: when you talk to her, don't use the words 'baby-sitting' or 'look after'." He leant back against his chair and scratched his stubble-covered chin. "The Head Auror is out of the country, as you know, Albus is busy with another case at the moment, and James has already tried his hand at the job. He lasted two days."

"What? I didn't know."

"It's a secret mission, Scorpius."

He glanced at the girl again; she was giggling and winking. "What happened?" he asked.

"She hexed him," he replied evenly, "right in the arse."

"Beg your pardon?" He looked at him, trying to understand if he was having a laugh. "Who hexed him?"

Teddy nodded at the picture. "Miss Potter."

He shook his head to clear his head. "But she was the one he was protecting."

He nodded almost in a commiserating way. "Miss Potter is working on a piece for the upcoming New Year Special Edition of the Daily Prophet. All we know is that it has something to do with Werewolves, but she won't tell exactly what it is."

Scorpius looked at the picture for the third time. She looked so sweet and nice.

"What happened? Why does she need protection?"

In reply, Teddy nodded towards the file in Scorpius' hands.

Scorpius turned the page. There was a short report on the girl. Her address, her details and what had happened. He skimmed through the text.

Miss Potter had started working on whatever she was working on at the beginning of February. The last week of July she had gone missing for 48 hours. Her editor had called the Aurors, but before they could even start an operation or organise a searching party, she reappeared that same day, and went back to work as if nothing had happened. She was assigned Auror James Sirius Potter as a protector, but he spent more time trying to track her down than he did actually protecting her – or so the report said, in very angry handwriting that was undoubtedly James'. When he finally managed to localise her in Knockturn Alley, she hexed him (oh yes, right in the arse apparently, and with a Tickling Hex) and disappeared once more.

Scorpius imagined dinner in the Potter household must have been awkward that night.

He kept reading and found out that Miss Potter had been admitted to the hospital the day before with signs of a violent fight all over her body, and bite marks on her waist.

She was tested for lycanthropy, but the test came back negative.

"So she's in the hospital."

Teddy shook his head. "Al was there with her this morning. She asked for a tea and when he came back to her room, she was gone."

"Gone?" She started to sound like trouble and despite the fact that Scorpius loved a good challenge, he wasn't that keen to start playing hide-and-seek with the Head Auror's daughter.

"Gone back to work," replied Teddy. "She left a note, and when Al went to newspaper headquarters he found her there." He took a deep breath. "She stayed about ten minutes, just enough time to argue with her brother, and then she was gone again."

"And where's she now?"

Teddy shrugged his shoulders. "That's your job, Auror," he said, "find her and keep her safe."

Scorpius closed the folder and looked up at Teddy. "Excuse me?" He raised his hands, palms up. "How do I look after her, if I don't know where she is?"

Teddy raised a finger. "Don't say 'look after'," he scolded. "And actually, don't even use the word protect because she doesn't like that either."

Scorpius wrinkled his nose. "She sounds quite like a little princess gone out of control to me," he replied. "I imagine she was Gryffindor, wasn't she? Always looking down on the whole world because she's the only daughter of Harry Potter and treating everybody else like scum… and she travelled, right? Went to Paris or Italy to learn a language that nobody even needs just to use it in some bloody restaurant, I bet…"

Teddy rolled his eyes. "Oh Merlin, Scorpius! You're such a perceptive young man," he scoffed. "She was a Hufflepuff, when she was sixteen she tried to change her surname, hexed the employee who wouldn't let her because she was underage, and she spent the last three years working for the Prophet as a correspondent on for the Magizoology column."

Scorpius raised his chin, his cheeks turning quite crimson for just how wrong he was about her. "Hufflepuff?" he asked lightly. "No wonder I don't remember her."

"You really want to go there, Scorpius?" asked Teddy, arms crossed.

Merlin, what was wrong with him? Teddy was a Hufflepuff. He shook his head rather sheepishly. "So, when do I start?" he asked with an overdramatic sigh.

"To be quite honest, Harry Floo Called this morning and said that he wanted you to start last week," he replied, "but right now is good too."

oooOOOooo

The Daily Prophet was a mess. A proper mess. People were running here and there, and most of them were screaming at each other. There were so many memos flying that they looked like a flock of birds as they migrated from side to side over the heads of the journalists. Quick-Quotes Quills were assaulting pieces of parchments in midair so ferociously that their screeching filled the room and made Scorpius' hair stand on his neck.

It looked worse than the Ministry at 7:45 in the morning.

Luckily they had an information desk right at the entrance, and even though the old witch with dark hair and a pair of extravagant-lunettes looked particularly apathetic, Scorpius walked to her and cleared his throat to make her raise her eyes from the Magical Symbol game she was trying to complete and acknowledge him.

"Welcome to the Daily Prophet," she announced flatly, without even looking up at him. "If you want to deliver fan mail, please put it in the right basket. If you want to deliver hate mail, please put it in the left basket. If you'd like to apply for a job with us, please put your application in the basket in the middle."

"I… no. I'm here to see one of the journalists," he told her, trying to sound commanding.

She finally placed the newspaper in her lap and looked up at him. "Who?"

"I'm here for Miss Lily Luna Potter," he replied, puffing out his chest and trying to push his Auror badge into her nose. "Is she here?"

"Why do you want to see her?"

"That's private information," replied Scorpius. "Can you tell me where I can find her?"

"Miss Potter doesn't like fans."

"I'm not a fan."

"Miss Potter doesn't like haters."

Scorpius took a deep breath. "I'm not a hater," he gritted through his teeth, "I am an Auror."

The woman snorted in his face. "Miss Potter doesn't like Aurors."

He placed his hands on her desk and tried to look as menacing as possible. "Listen, I am here to work, I need to talk to Miss Potter right at this—"

"Alice! Alice! Have you finished the game yet?" A short, bald man with a pair of glasses on his nose and another pair secured over his forehead, trotted out of a door and grabbed the newspaper from the woman's lap. He surveyed the half-finished game and groaned. "Oh Merlin! Is it too difficult again? We're going to get so much hate mail."

"It's not, Mr Quills," replied the woman flatly, "I've been interrupted." She nodded towards Scorpius and the man looked at him as well.

He seemed to notice his Ministry badge straight away. "Aurors? Again?" He rolled his eyes. "Listen, I've already told your colleague that we don't usually use Veritaserum on our interviewees. Ms Skeeter had admitted her faults and she's on Sabbatical. And Mrs Warbeck hasn't even reported her."

Scorpius raised his hands near his head. "I'm not here for Mrs Warbeck," he told him, "I'm here for Miss Potter."

"You are?" asked the man taken aback. Then slowly, his surprise changed in amusement. "Oh right! Of course! I honestly thought that they weren't sending anybody else for her after what had happened last time." He drew out his wand from his pocket and pointed it to his throat. "Sonorus," he muttered, before calling, "Potter! Potter! Get your arse to the front desk!" He murmured the counter-spell and looked at Scorpius. "Listen, we are very worried for Miss Potter's safety, but she's working on something big. Can you please not blow her case?"

Scorpius narrowed his eyes. "I'm here to protect her."

"Sure, sure," he replied, lowering his voice, "don't tell her that though."

"And for the love of Merlin," added the woman, "don't anger her."

"What are you—"

"What is it, Quills?" snapped a voice that was anything but sweet. "I was going out. Do you want me to finish that damn article before the issue comes out or not?"

Scorpius raised his eyes from the woman in front of him to look at the witch who had just approached the desk.

Well, he was damned if she was the same girl of the picture.

She was wearing no cute little dress. She had a pair of Muggle jeans all torn and dirty, and a shirt that had some blood staining the hem.

She had no shiny hair, but a mass of dreadlocks that reached her waist and gave her quite the I-was-raised-in-the-jungle look.

And she certainly had no lovely smile. She looked like her lips could do pretty much anything except smiling. Snarl and scream and grit her teeth like an animal were surely at the top of the list.

She was also rather short – but of course, the Head Auror was no giant himself – and sported a nasty bruise on her thin neck.

She stepped until she was standing right in front of Quills and folded her arms across her chest, looking supremely annoyed.

"It's exactly because I want you to finish your article that I called you here," replied Quills. He nodded towards Scorpius. "You have a visit."

She turned to finally look at him, her brown eyes seemed to evaluate every inch of his face, before they travelled south. When she reached his chest, her annoyed expression became furious. She turned towards Mr Quills and snapped, "An Auror? You asked for another Auror?"

Mr Quills took a step back. "I did no such thing," he replied promptly. "They sent him from the Ministry. It must have been your father."

"Well, tell him to go back! I don't need a baby-sitter!"

"Hey, I'm right here," protested Scorpius.

"Well, go back!" snapped Miss Potter to him. "I don't need a baby-sitter."

Scorpius gritted his teeth. "I'm not here to baby-sit you," he replied, "I'm here to protect you."

"I don't need protection!" she snarled. "Go back to the Ministry and tell Teddy that if he sends someone else, I'm going to go back to work with Luna and Rolf!" She turned on her heels and disappeared amongst the crowd of journalists who was only mildly interested in the scene.

Scorpius blinked as he tried to make sense of what had just happened.

"Well, go after her," urged Mr Quills. "Her office is the last one in the second corridor to the left." He lowered his eyes on the newspaper in his hands and smiled. "Ah, I see the St Mungo's crest, Alice, and you just missed it!"

Scorpius stared at Mr Quills and Alice for a fistful of seconds, before turning towards the place where Miss Potter had just disappeared. Well, wasn't she a peach? Scorpius just couldn't wait to work with her…

He bumped into a tall man who was dictating to his quill something about the recent mishaps with the Floo Network. The man didn't even seem to notice him. And right before he could knock on what he hoped was Miss Potter's door a memo flew in his ear and he had to shoo it away with his hand.

"Go away!" was the reply that came from the other side.

Oh yes, it was the right door. He pushed it open and walked inside, straightening his back and darkening. "Now you listen to…" His voice died in his throat as he stared at his boss' daughter standing in front of him in her bra and Muggle jeans, and with a bandaging that covered most of her lower abdomen.

She looked irritated at him and crossed her arms under her breasts.

"I'm… I'm sorry," mumbled Scorpius, looking away from those beautiful breasts that looked soft and smooth. "I… I just…"

"You just what?" snapped Miss Potter. "You just don't speak my language? You just can't hear? Because I said 'go away' not 'come in'." He could see that she mimed the two verbs out of the corner of his eyes.

"Listen, Miss Potter," he started, still not looking at her, "I didn't ask for this job. I was given it by my boss. I'm sorry if this interferes with your plans of going and getting killed, but my mission is to keep you alive and that's—"

"Look, just spare me the rant about how you hate this as much as I do," she cut him off curtly, as she started to put her shirt back on. "Why don't we do this? You go back to your Manor, and I just won't tell them that you're home reading a book and drinking a cup of tea instead of tailing me."

He raised his eyes on her as she buttoned up her now clean shirt. "How do you know I live in a Manor?"

She looked at him and laughed. "Honestly, Malfoy?"

He flared his nostrils and raised his chin haughtily. "How do you know my name?"

Her laughter died out. "Are you having a laugh?" she scoffed. "We were at school together."

He crossed his arms on his chest and darkened. He didn't remember her at all. How did she remember him? Well, of course, there was only one Malfoy against thousands of Potters and Weasleys. It was no surprise he had difficulties placing her.

"Oh of course," she mocked him, "you don't remember me. Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy, Slytherin; not a people person, lives in a Manor and has money falling out of his arsehole…"

"Hey!" he protested, but yes, her description was rather accurate. "I remember you! You were a Hufflepuff, and you're the Head Auror's daughter and… and your name is Lily Luna Potter."

"You read my file." Her voice was low and dangerous.

"No, I—"

"I told my father to destroy it! But of course he didn't listen!" she snapped, talking to herself rather than Scorpius. She pushed back her dreadlocks and started grabbing piles of parchment and stuffing them into a small, bag decorated with little colourful beads. "Oh, next time I see him, he's going to hear me. If he doesn't destroy it, I'll do it, and it won't be pleasant. They'll have to send me to Azkaban after that." She threw the bag over her shoulder and, without looking at Scorpius, headed towards the door.

"Oi! Where are you going?" He stepped in front of her to block her way.

She looked at him as if he was crazy. "Out, to do my job," she replied in a huff.

"Yeah, okay, well, I'm coming with you."

She laughed at him. "You're funny."

"I'm not joking," he growled.

She stared seriously at him for a long moment and Scorpius stared back at her just as gravely.

"Oh, I see," she finally sighed. "You follow orders from above." She stood on tiptoes and patted his perfectly combed hair as if he was a dog. "Good boy! Who's a good boy?"

"Hey!"

"Here," she told him, turning to fumble with something. "Hold on this for a moment, will you?" She passed him a pot with some sort of succulent plant that he had never seen before. It moved and purred like a cat when he closed his hands around the pot.

"Thank you," she told him with a smile, before turning it into a smirk and adding, "Idiot." And with a subtle pop she was gone.

Scorpius just stood there. Plant in his hands and mouth wide open.

Bloody hell, he was an idiot.

oooOOOooo

"What do you mean, you lost her?"

Scorpius turned away from Teddy as he opened Lily Luna Potter's file, turning the pages frantically. "I mean that she was standing there and then she was handing me a plant to keep me busy and then she was gone. That's what I mean."

Teddy chuckled. "At least she didn't hex you. She must like you."

Scorpius grunted in reply, "Ah, yes, she looked like she was crazy about me."

"What are you looking for?"

"Her address," snapped Scorpius. "She has to go home at some point and I'll be right there waiting for her when she does."

"143 Diagon Alley," said Teddy flatly.

Scorpius slammed the file close and turned to look at him.

"She's my godfather's daughter," he told him, "she's like a sister to me."

"Good for you," scoffed Scorpius. "That's when I feel lucky to be an only child."

oooOOOooo

143 Diagon Alley was a narrow and tall building, crushed between Amanuensis Quills and Madam Malkin's Robes for all Occasions and with a small entry and a wall covered in post-boxes.

Miss Potter's one was swarming with advertisements and some past issues of the Daily Prophet. Scorpius tried to reach beneath all the rubbish that was magically pushing its way inside the box. Maybe under all those things there was a letter or something that it might have helped him to understand what the heck she was doing.

"Oi! That's violation of privacy!"

Scorpius took a deep breath as he disentangled his hands from all that junk and turned to look at the young man who had talked to him. He was a tall, dark skinned, boy who couldn't have been older than twenty. He had dreadlocks that reached his shoulders, and Scorpius couldn't help groaning at the sour look on his face.

"I'm an Auror," he told him in his most authoritative voice, "and I'm working on a case."

The boy's eyes opened wide. "Did something happen to Lily?" he asked concerned. "Is she okay? She isn't…" He swallowed as he left the sentence hanging in midair. He looked really rather scared. Scorpius couldn't help staring at his mass of dreadlocks and imagining that he had been the one to introduce the Head Auror's daughter to such a dirty way of keeping her hair. And maybe introduce her to other things too, like skinny dipping with a group of hippies or have sex with more than one person at the same time.

"She isn't dead," Scorpius finished for him. "Not that I know of, at least." He raised his pointy chin and looked seriously at him. "Do you know Miss Potter well?" he asked slowly.

He nodded frantically. "Yes, of course," he replied, "I know everything about her. She… she is awesome. She's a great friend."

"Is this your relationship with Miss Potter? Are you friends with her?"

He nodded and shrugged a shoulder, giving the hint of a smile. "Yeah, friends, you know, and I mean we have fun sometimes, and it's fun… you know…"

Scorpius wrinkled his nose at him. "Of course," he replied coldly. "What do you know about the case she's following?"

The boy looked rather abashed all of a sudden. "Well, she goes out a lot… and at night especially… and she is always a bit cranky when there's a full moon."

Scorpius cocked an eyebrow. "How can you tell that she's cranky?"

"Well, she's usually sweet and lovely and—"

"Are we talking about the same Miss Potter?" asked Scorpius, his eyebrows now knitting together on his forehead.

The boy smiled dumbly. "There's only one, isn't there?"

Scorpius resisted the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose. "Of course," he replied through gritted teeth. "Right, so you basically don't know anything about her."

"What?" He looked outraged. "Listen, mate, I know everything about her."

"Except what she is working on," he replied, "which frankly is the only thing I'm interested in." He narrowed his eyes and stared at the boy from head to toes. "Do you work here?" he asked.

He nodded. "I'm the caretaker."

"So you have the keys to all the flats?"

He nodded again, rather reluctantly now.

"Do you have the key to Miss Potter's flat?"

The boy bit his bottom lip. "I don't think she would appreciate it if I gave you the key to her flat, mate," he told him, "she doesn't like when people invade her privacy." He looked like he had tried the consequences of invading her privacy on his own skin.

Scorpius gave him the hint of a smile. "Well, let's put it like this," he said matter-of-factly, "if you don't give me the key to her flat, I'll have to arrest you for the crime of hindering justice. And after a quick trial, I'm sure there's Azkaban waiting for whoever may put the Head Auror's daughter's life in danger by withholding information."

He seemed to actually consider what was worse. Azkaban or the wrath of a little girl? Luckily he seemed to be more scared about Azkaban than her. Not by much though.

"Thank you," said Scorpius, looking into his eyes as the young man deposited a little, brass-like key into his palm.

"Third floor, the second on the left," he told him. "There's a strong scent of incense coming from it. You can't get it wrong."

He nodded in reply and headed towards the dimly-lit stairs that brought upstairs. The place was not bad per se, but it looked like one of those buildings that housed more people than was legally accepted. He imagined youngsters bunking in little studio flats just to share the rent. And bloody hell, he didn't even ask that guy downstairs if she lived alone. He fervently hoped so.

He flattened against the wall when two girls walked down the stairs, chatting animatedly and laughing unpleasantly. They didn't even notice that he had to stop to let them pass. What a bunch of hippies.

The third floor was clogged with the scent of incense, and it definitely came from the second door on the left. She was probably using it to cover the smell of piles of dirty laundry and leftover food scattered through her kitchen.

He fitted the key into the door and unlocked it. Then he pushed it open and stared.

The flat was small – he suspected that it would fit into the drawing room at his Manor – and from where he was standing he could see the other end of it.

He walked inside and locked the door at his back.

The open kitchen was at his left, the living room took up most of the rest of the space, and there were two doors which he imagined led to the bathroom and a bedroom, or maybe a little closet, and that was all.

The whole place was filled with the most extravagant and bizarre things he had ever seen. There were strings of colourful, square flags hanging on the ceiling and enchanted to fluctuate as if there was a breeze. An ebony statue of a couple having sex in a very inventive position decorated an otherwise bare shelf, while a large chest of drawers with painted exotic animals moving around its patterns occupied most of the wall at his right. Big sacks of spices on the floor sent a smell almost stronger than the incense that was burning dangerously close to the couch. No, it wasn't a couch, it was a bazaar of cushions and pillows.

At least the place was clean, and there wasn't a pile of dirty clothes or other disgusting things. It was also fairly tidy – as tidy as a place covered in cushions and drapes could be.

Scorpius drew out his wand and walked towards the couch. "Aguamenti," he muttered as he pointed it towards the incense. The stick sent out a rather unpleasant smell as it died out.

He looked at it, satisfied, and thought of opening the window to let some fresh air in. But he wasn't having a house tour, he was there to work. He was there to find something that would point him in the direction of what Miss Potter was working on.

The chest of drawers looked like a particularly good place where to hide documents and notes that she wouldn't want anybody to find. He walked to it and grabbed a brass ring, trying to pull one of the top drawers open. It didn't even budge.

"Password."

Scorpius let the ring go and stepped back, looking down at the drawer with his brow furrowed. An elephant the size of a Galleon was looking up at him with its nose stuck up in the air.

"What?"

"Password," repeated the animal.

He knew it had seemed too damn easy to be true. Scorpius shrugged a shoulder. "I don't know," he replied, "Hufflepuff rocks?"

"No."

"I am a hippie?"

"No."

"Aurors stink?"

"No."

"I have a death wish?"

"I'm sorry, you finished your chances. You have to go to the monkey." And with that the elephant lowered its long nose and sat down on a little meander.

"What? Listen, you need to open these drawers right at this instant. I am an Auror and I am conducting an investigation," he snapped, "and if you don't open them, I'm going to make firewood out of you."

"Password! Password! Password!" snickered the monkey, jumping from one Greek fret to another. The other animals laughed too.

Scorpius glowered at them. He raised his wand and flicked it. "Accio parchment!" he growled.

There was the noise of pieces of parchment slamming against the inside of the drawers and the animals started to snarl at him, but before he could even hex them shut, a heavy pile of letters and documents hit him right on the head and fell at his feet.

"Bloody hell!" he grunted as he rubbed his scalp and stared at the mess he had involuntarily Summoned from every place in the flat. There were letters, lists, medical reports, notes, even a shopping list and doodles of some kind of animal. He started to rummage through them in the hope of finding something interesting.

Amongst other things, Miss Potter seemed to have a business card for a place called The Blue Moon. He narrowed his eyes. He knew it, The Blue Moon was a club or something in Knockturn Alley; it was said to be owned by a pack of werewolves, but since they'd never had problems with the law, the Aurors let them do their thing in peace.

She also had a letter sent from someone who signed themselves as her number one fan, who wrote a poem about her eyes and her nose and ears. Miss Potter had drawn a girl stabbing a man after the last stanza.

And then there was a letter from the Ministry. Scorpius opened it carefully and drew out a slip of parchment that confirmed her appointment for tomorrow at ten in the morning at the Portkey Office. On the back someone had quickly scribbled a We need to talk about it, Lily. U.P.

There were more letters from people who were clearly poetically-impaired about her beautiful hair – and they were probably blind too – and her smile – and they imagined things – and her breasts – okay, those were all right.

He picked up another letter which talked about her eyes.

"An Auror? And you let him into my flat, Dave?"

Scorpius' head snapped up as he heard Miss Potter's voice coming from the landing.

"I'm sorry, Lily, he said he would have sent me to Azkaban if I didn't." The caretaker's voice was almost pleading.

Scorpius fumbled around on the floor as he tried to pick up all the notes and letters and hide them somewhere.

"Merlin, you can be an idiot!" snapped Miss Potter.

"Lily, no, you know I cry myself to sleep when you are angry with me," whined the boy.

"Get off me," she snarled, probably pushing him away.

"Lily…"

"Oh, bloody hell!" There was a muttered spell and then the boy was squeaking and then bats were screeching and flapping their winds on the landing. Then the boy was probably running down the stairs and… crying…

Scorpius looked at the door rather more anxiously than he normally would if discovered in a flat during an investigation. He turned to look around himself for any possible escape, and luckily she had a fireplace; even though it took him a while to locate since it was covered in drapes as well. He hurried in there, grabbed some Floo Powder from the floor and threw it at his feet as he said out loud, "The Ministry of Magic!" and closed his eyes the moment the door opened.

oooOOOooo

When he opened them again, he was still standing in the fireplace, covered from head to toe in common ashes and with a very angry-looking Lily Luna Potter staring at him from her living room.

He felt his heart sink a little. "You are not connected to the Floo," he murmured.

"Well, aren't you a genius?" she deadpanned, before narrowing her eyes and folding her arms across her chest. Her shirt was already not clean anymore, and the bruise on her neck had darkened in the few hours that he hadn't seen her. "What are you doing in my flat?"

Scorpius stepped out of the fireplace and shook the ashes from his head and shoulders. "Looking for you, Miss Potter," he replied seriously. "I don't care if you don't like it, I am here to help prevent an untimely death, and you're definitely not making it easy for me to keep—"

"You rummaged through my things!?"

He followed her eyes to the pile of badly-hidden documents.

Scorpius swallowed. "I was trying to find clues of your whereabouts," he replied sourly, "I didn't mean to read any private correspondence, and I'm sorry if I—"

"You," she cut him off, stepping towards him and poking his chest with a pale finger. "You are going back to the Ministry right this instant to tell them that I don't need a nanny."

"I'm not—"

"And if you don't," she cut him off again, "I'm going to press charges against you for housebreaking." She pursed her lips and added, "And I'll tell them that you raped me."

Scorpius' jaw dropped. "What?" he exclaimed, his voice an octave higher than what it usually was. "They'll never believe you, I'm… I'm absolutely—"

She furrowed her brow in concentration. "You're right," she told him, "you're gay, so they'll never believe me."

"Oi! What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

She snorted. "Please; those shoes, that ridiculous hair and those ironed clothes?"

He looked down at his expensive longwings and his perfectly starched uniform. His house-elves took care of those things. "I'm not gay!" he protested, before nodding at her. "Anyway, you look like you would assault a girl at any given moment."

She shrugged a shoulder. "If she's pretty, why wouldn't I assault her?" she replied nonchalantly.

Scorpius stared at her, as he tried to push images of Lily Luna Potter and another girl together, maybe naked, touching that smooth-looking skin of hers while they kissed.

"You're drooling."

He close his mouth and swallowed, his hand going automatically to his chin. "I'm not," he replied, flushing violently. "Listen, Miss Potter, it's as clear as day that we've started on the wrong foot here."

"That's right, I should have kicked you out of my office; that would have been a right foot." She narrowed her eyes. "Right in your arse."

He opened his mouth and then closed it again, unable to find anything to reply to her. Bloody hell, she was the most stubborn and impolite person he had ever come into contact with. And to be quite fair, he too thought that she didn't need a nanny. She needed someone who put her over his knee to give her a good spanking.

And no, he didn't mean that in a sexual way.

Well, maybe just a little bit.

"Listen, I—"

"Get. Out."

"I'm not going anywhere until you—"

She drew out her wand. "You know what a Bat-Bogey Hex is?" she asked nonchalantly. "It Transfigures your bogeys into bats and they fly out of your nose. I can assure you, it's not pleasant." She pointed her wand to his face and then lowered it. "I've perfected an alteration of it. Something else comes out of somewhere else."

She was bluffing. Surely, she was bluffing.

"I'm going to count to three. One."

"Miss Potter, I—"

"Two."

"Alright, alright!" He raised his hands near his face and stepped past her. He walked to the door and opened it, but he turned to look at her before closing it. "I'll come here tomorrow at—"

But before he could finish she flicked her wand and the door slammed on his nose.