You've heard it all before, you know I don't own this. Duh. Thanks. Haha. I'm kind of stuck right now in writing the 5th chapter for All the Worlds Shall Burn, so they say if you're stuck just write so, this came to mind while I was listening to Fall Out Boy. I know. I know. But they are amazing. Here's to seeing them with Boys Night Out and Motion City Soundtrack. Haha. This is a RenoxTifa based the premise they had started seeing each other before the game.
Of All the Gin Joints in the World.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox Turn off the lights and turn off the shyness You only hold me up like this Turn off the lights and turn off the shyness I've got headaches and bad luck but they couldn't touch you, no Turn off the lights and turn off the shyness
You only hold me up like this
Cause you don't know who I really am
Sometimes I just want to know what it's like to be you
We're making out inside crashed cars
We're sleeping through all our memories
I used to waste my time dreaming of being alive (now I only waste it dreaming of you)
Cause all of our moves make up for the silence
And oh, the way your makeup stains my pillowcase
Like I'll never be the same
Cause you don't know who I really am
I used to waste my time on
Waste my time on
Waste my time dreaming of being alive (now I only waste it dreaming of you)
Cause all of our moves make up for the silence
And oh, the way your makeup stains…
Like I'll never be the same
I've got headaches and bad luck but they couldn't touch you, no
I'm not trying
You only hold me up like this
Cause all of our moves make up for the silence
And oh, the way your makeup stains
Like I'll never be the same
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
You only hold me up like this, because you don't know who I really am. A real cool killer with a killer blow. But maybe that's part of my appeal? I don't know what you were thinking the first night I came in but, I'm kind of happy it turned out like this. I mean, I knew I had prowess, but to hook one like you. That took some effort.
There are times, when we lay next to each other in my one bedroom apartment… You asleep so soundly next to me, our legs wrapped around one another, my arms around you, when I think I could change. Those are the times when I want to run away with you. Just you and I, we could live in anonymity. But then again, I don't think I could leave my partner behind like that. And its just so illogical. So I fall asleep, dreaming of that, and yet knowing that for now, this will do.
By the time I awake you are already gone. I smile when I smell the coffee you made before you left for me. I turn myself to where you were laying last night, your smell permeates everything in my bed. The smell of flowers from your shampoo, the smell of your perfume. It threatens to choke everything in this room ,and if it did, I wouldn't care. I sigh, laying there for the next few minutes before I lazily walk to the small kitchenette where the coffee lies. Alas, as much as I'd love to lay there next to that ghost of you, I need to work.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
When I walk into your humble little joint in the Sector Seven slums almost at closing, I see you frown. But when you see me, it turns upwards to a smile. All of your other friends are here, sitting at table in the right hand corner. They always eye me cautiously when I meander in, but I doubt they really have any idea who I am. Maybe they do, maybe you do, but oh well. I smile to you, that all knowing smile that I always wear.
"Gin please, straight." I pull myself onto a bar stool.
"You know we're closed , Reno."
"Not technically, you're still open for…a minute."
"Fine." You say with a smile as you discontinue your wiping of the bar, and fix my drink sliding it to me.
"Thanks doll…Good as ever."
"Tifa, we're leaving. See you tomorrow night." Your friends nod to you, and you get up to show them out the door and say your goodnights. As you walk by me, I crane my neck to get a look, and then I smile, knowing I got that the night before. I finish my drink, while you talk to your friends outside, and turn over the open sign to closed.
I'm up and on my feet by the time you come back over to the bar.
"Reno…Um, I…"
You get about those three words out, and then my arms are around you. Pulling you close, I stop your words with a kiss. And before long you have me pushed up against the wall, giving up on whatever you were going to say. You're fidgeting with the light switch behind me as we kiss. My hands are working with precision to get your shirt off and we're still kissing. And your hands are working down to my pants.
And we're moving at a fever pace, you and I. Like some enrapturing waltz, we're moving and turning, and kissing harder and harder. The dance we move in takes us over to the bar. Our breaths become ragged, and pulsing. You're sitting up against the bar and we've both managed to pull each others shirts off.
Now your body is stretched out on the bar, and I'm on top. My kisses making their way down your neck, into the curve of your clavicle. We're in the dark, and we're getting closer and closer to the actual act itself. Its when the lights go out, the shyness is gone. And I get it lost in it all. Before this, I used to dream of living another day. I used to dream, of feeling anything. Now, you're all I dream.
After a while we're walking back to my place. Hand in hand, the streets are deserted. Looking to you, I realize, you're the only real beauty in this filth. In my filth maybe. We don't talk much, but all of the moves we make, make up for that. My gaze moves to your hand in mine. Sometimes I think, maybe my hands have too much blood on them to be allowed to hold yours. This type of thinking always gives me headaches, but then I see you smile and I realize they can't touch you. Nothing I do wrong will ever touch you.
And we go back to my place, and repeat again what happened a few nights before. I wake up early to try and catch you but you're gone. Again, like clock work I turn to your pillow. This time the stain of make-up that you wore last night stains the pillowcase. The way it does makes me think I can leave this. The same thought I always have during the night, and again in the morning. The thought mixes with the smell of coffee, that smell is familiar now. Every time you stay over, you're so good to me. That's only because you don't know who I really am. You don't know what I do. The killing, the blackmail, all the dirty stuff I don't want you to see. Maybe this is more than just a sex thing. Maybe you're changing me.
Again I dream of us running away. Again I dream of leaving Shin-Ra behind, leaving the Turks. I could do it. I could just say I quit, and I'd take you with me. We'd go see the world. I swear, we'd make love in every Inn, in every town. I'll see where you're from, and you'll see me. What we have, its everything to me right now. This is passion…This is red handed denial. I can't leave…and one day you'll find out.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
And the next few weeks its like this. We make love, you stay over my place. I have the same thoughts of leaving, but I never do. It will never happen. Like I said before, red handed denial. My work is slipping, and my partner, Rude is noticing. And there are times when you tell me to leave. Your friends are there, and you say 'Not tonight'. And I wonder if you know. Do you know who I work for…Do you know what I do?
The other night, I was supposed to kill a family. The father knew secrets about us, our company. I was supposed to wipe out the whole entire family. But I stopped when I saw the little girl, with brown hair just like yours. And eyes that burned with a fire of defiance. The same I see in you when you talk about my company. And I hesitate. Then I let her live. I slip, and Rude is shaking his head.
The next night when I come into the bar, you give me a hard stare. There is no one there tonight, just you and I, but I'm able to feel something coming from you. It is the same look I saw in the little girls eyes, the same hatred.
"'Sup doll?" But I know what is coming. You slide a picture on the table of Rude, Tseng and I in the Midgar Times. The front page, the second article on the bottom that reads, "The 'Turks' save a family from a burning fire!' It was the family I killed. They were trying to get us good publicity. You're hand slams down on the paper and my smiling face talking to Rude.
"Don't ever talk to me again. I don't want to see you."
"Babe…I…"
"Liar! LEAVE!" And you start pushing me, but I'm not stopping you. I think you might be crying. "Liar! You murderer! I hate you! I hate you!" And I'm just standing there as you pound your fists against my chest. I kiss you, but you break away and hit me across the face with such force that I stumble back.
"Tifa…"
Your voice is low, threatening, "No…Just leave…You're scum. You're less then scum, and you can die for all I care." I stare at you for a few more seconds before I turn and heed your words.
That night I'm home in my bed alone. Your smell is still lingering. And your make-up still stains my pillowcase. Alone again. Now all I have left is the job. Any dreams of leaving are dead in the water… Its not like they weren't all ready, but I have to convince myself of something.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Its months later, and you're a terrorist, and I'm a killer. Well we're both killers really. And now you have him. The blonde one, that supposedly was in SOLDIER. The way you are with him is never how you were with me. But its all in the past now anyway. Anything that comes after is just business. Though, I do miss those nights. I still think of you as we follow your progress. Only now I think it might've been better if we never met. I wouldn't feel like this, I hide it well, but its there, and you are the only one who's ever done this to me. I knew from then on I would never be the same. I don't think I would change it for the world. Everything we had, it meant so much to me. And maybe it will be different in the future, but for now, its unchanging. You still hate me, and I still have a job to do.
"AVALANCHE… is heading for Gongaga, we have to head them off. Lets go Reno."
And with that I'm pulled out of my thoughts. Again we must meet, but it brings me to think of one last thing. The thing I think of often when I think of you now. Of all the Gin Joints in the world…that night, it had to be yours….
Yeah, that's it. Haha, I know its not too original, but meeeeh. Yup review if ya like, yo.