- The Crippled God - AVENGERS FANFIC
,,All men's miseries derive from not being able to sit in a quiet room alone.'' - Blaise Pascal
,,Sometimes before it gets better,
The darkness gets bigger.
The person that you'd take a bullet for is behind the trigger.'' -Fall Out Boys
Loki was just lying on the floor, in Stark Tower's top floor and waiting. The war was over, he was sure they were coming for him. His whole body was aching terribly after that creature smashed him on the floor.
The trickster could hear the Avengers coming, his vision was blurring of pain and he was trying hard not to pass out, not now, not in front of them.
''If you don't mind, I'd have that drink now'' he smirked, ignoring all the weapons aiming at him, the trickster tried to get up.
but he could not. His body was not moving on his command. Loki's face stretched with pain, while trying to hold upright on his hands. By Hel. What was wrong with him? That creature smashed him hard but he was the god after all, not so fragile.
Avengers were watching his every move closely, they seemed confused, Thor sensed something at last and knelled down by his side.
''Brother?'' Loki fired his eyes on him. ''what is wrong?''
''Apart from my failed attempt to rule Midgard?'' Loki smirked but his voice seemed not as strong as he would like to.
''You can't get up?'' Thor sounded worried. ''Captain, Man of Iron, help us.''
''Why would I?'' Tony asked. ''I have no desire in helping him. Shield will pick him up soon enough.''
Rogers, on the other hand, came to the trickster. Loki raised his brows – was the captain really going to help? ''don't touch me!'' he hissed. Captain sat on the floor near him, but was not touching him, not yet. Loki relaxed a bit, and closed his eyes, while resting his head on the floor.
''Loki?'' Thor's voice sounded as if he was at the edge of crying.
''What?'' the trickster replied annoyed.
''Can't you feel that?''
''What?'' Loki opened his eyes and saw Steve was holding his hand on Loki's leg, strange he did not pay attention before. ''I told you not to touch me! Get the hell away from me, you mere mortal!''
Thor put his large hands on Loki's feet and pressed hard enough to break bones, but the only thing Loki felt was horror, cause he had no control over his lower body any longer. Thor pulled his one hand under his wrist and hold him up like a child.
''Thor!'' Loki screamed out, shocked. ''what the hell! Put me down, right now!''
''Hush brother!'' the Thunderer replied with loving voice. ''I'm taking you back , home!''
''And why you may think we allow that?'' Clint asked angrily.
''I don't remember asking you for a permission, mortal!'' Thor shouted at him.
''I agree at this point.'' Stark crossed his hands over his chest and stood near the Hawk. ''God damn me, if I let you take him to just lie him down in a palace with healers around him! He destroyed half of the city, including my tower!''
''Move away, Man of Iron! He needs help and I won't leave him in the hands of S.H.I.E.L.D.!''
''Hey, hey, guys, calm down.'' Steve stood between Thor and the two Avengers quickly. ''I think we can deal with that with no more smashing and breaking.''
''And what do you suggest?'' Clint asked, raising his eyebrow at the fellow Avenger doubtfully.
''Well, we can get a doctor for Loki here, on earth, if we make sure he needs higher help, then..''
''No, damn it, I won't let him take this criminal away like he is an innocent child!'' Clint yelled.
''Let's discuss that later.'' Tony Stark stepped aside nodding. Steve's offer seemed reasonable solution and it would cause less damage to every one of them, including his tower. ''Jarvis, can you get a doctor?''
''Yes, of course, Sir.''
''Good. Thor, follow me!'' Tony lead Thor in one of the bedrooms on a lower floor.
Loki felt he was set on the bed before passing out.
He was still lying on the bed when he woke up. Anthony Stark was sitting near him.
''Heeeey, reindeer games!'' Tony smiled at him. This was strange. Since when did Iron Man like him that much? Loki looked around and saw lots of medical equipment in the room, technology he was not aware of. What does that mean?
''How long have I been..''
''A week. You scared the hell of us.''
''Scared?'' Loki furrowed his brows in confusion.
''Yeah. Your bro thought you dead, he freaked out at us for not allowing him to take you to Asgard. He'll be glad you are awake.''
''Where is he?''
''Gone.''
Loki's heart twisted ''so Thor returned to Asgard after all?'' he asked, trying to keep his voice strong.
''No, no you got it wrong!'' Tony put his hand on Loki's shoulder, which seemed awkward to Trickster. ''he'll be back don't worry. Just to settle some daddy issues you have there. Your daddy is not quite happy about you..''
''About me still being alive?'' Loki finished the sentence.
Tony felt a bit sorry for him, he admitted that to himself - there was no mockery in the Trickster's eyes – he really thought what he just said. ''No of course'' he stated. ''it's that he just.. won't be welcoming you back to Asgard.''
Loki nodded and smiled, but then it seemed puzzling to him. ''not welcoming or not taking at all?''
''I don't know.'' Tony lied.
''You do, Anthony Stark,'' Loki looked in his eyes, which made Tony uneasy. – damn, was this guy affecting everyone this way? Had he the ability to make everyone feel whatever he wanted? ''tell me, what is it?''
''Thor went to Asgard to make your daddy change his mind and let you return home.''
''He wants me to be punished instead?'' Loki supposed. ''What is it? My punishment? Handed to Jotuns? Thanos? Who else did the All-father considered to be prior to his own cruelty?''
''Sir, I am sorry to interrupt you, but i should inform you that Mr. Odinson has returned,'' Jarvis' voice announced before tony could think of an appropriate answer.
''Good, tell him I'm with Loki.''
''He knows sir. And sir?''
''Yes Jarvis?''
''He is not alone.''
Loki closed his eyes, not wanting to hear an answer, he knew beforehand, that it won't be pleasing.
''Who is with him?''
''His father.''
''What?'' the Trickster screamed so loud Tony almost fell of his chair. ''What the hell! Odin in Midgard?''
''Are you sure, Jarvis?'' Tony asked, confused, he would not imagine the Ruler of the Realm Eternal in his tower as well.
''Yes sir, Thor introduced him as his father.''
Tony looked at Loki, who was trying to get up and failing miserably, rushed by his side. ''Loki stop that! You can't!''
''I won't please Odin by seeing me in a state like this!'' the God of Lies hissed, but it was too late – the door opened and Thor entered in, followed by Odin himself.
Loki could feel his heart beating madly – what was Odin doing here? Did he fall so down to come to mortal world just to mock his no-longer-son? That seemed like a worst nightmare he ever had.
''Loki, brother!'' Thor sat on the bed beside him, smiling at him, but there was a bit guilty expression on his face. ''I am so happy you woke up. I came back as fast as I was informed about your state changing.''
''Leave us!'' Odin demanded from Stark even not looking at him. Tony blinked, amazed. He was just ordered to leave in his own house, but Thor nodded in approval and he decided Loki was safe. Damn, why he was even worried about Trickster's well-being at all? He destroyed the city, including the Stark Tower, almost killed him when he threw him out of the window but still, - Loki was fragile and not willing to stay alone with his adoptive father or see him at all. Thor was there for him, Tony reminded himself and walked out.
''Jarvis?'' he said.
''Yes sir.''
''Turn on the cameras. I want to see what's happening in that room.''
''What is it, All-father?'' Loki asked. '' Why have you come here?''
''To check on Thor's words about your state.'' Odin answered calmly, his face not giving away any emotion.
''So thoughtful,'' Loki smirked ''sorry to disappoint you by still being alive.''
''Loki, mind your tongue!'' Thor raised his voice. Loki tried to think of a mocking to answer, but he was feeling sick and dizzy, so he just rested his head on a pillow and closed his eyes. Nothing ever mattered. What could possibly go worse – he was pinned to this bed in Stark Tower, with his brother and Odin by his side.
''Loki, are you feeling bad?''
Thor was worried. That fool. How could Loki possibly feel good in a situation like this? Suddenly he felt magic surrounding his body – it was Odin for sure, for a second he even thought the all-father was going to heal him, but then almost laughed at this idea – how could he be so naive to think such nonsense?
''what it is, father?'' Thor asked.
''You were right, Thor, his state is really bad – apart from wounds, it's a curse – probably Thanos' work.'' Odin said. ''Loki is not healing as an immortal should - his body is weak and so is his mind.''
''What should we do?'' Thor asked ''You can help him, can't you?''
''Of course I can'' Odin answered, ''but I won't.''
''What?'' amazement and shock was so obvious on Thunderer's face, Loki almost laughed - that stupid, naive oaf. How much blindness and stupidity does it take for him to realize - Loki was not as dear to Odin as he himself was?
''See now, dear brother ?'' Loki mocked. ''he wanted me dead long ago, so why just not stand there and watch?''
''Father, you can't.. you did not mean that..'' There was a note of pleading in Thor's voice.
''Silence, Thor! Loki Odinson..'' the All-father run his look upon the Trickster. ''I, Odin All-father banish you from Asgard – you will be doomed to stay here, without your magic. You will live a mortal life among humans and if you change, you will be returned to Valhalla after death. Thor is allowed to visit you if he likes to, but it's forbidden for him to bring you the healing stones or other magical things to help you. Thor, you've been warned – Heimdall will be watching you – if you break the rules and try to bring him outer help – you'll be cast from your rights to see your brother at all.''
''But father..'' the thunderer tried to argue but the All-father's look silenced him. Odin turned around and disappeared.
There was an awkward silence while Thor was standing in the middle of he room and Loki was staring to the ceiling, ignoring his brother.]
''Loki..'' thor's voice almost begged him. ''brother, please... I'm so sorry.. I did not know father was going to do such thing. talk to me.. please?''
''So, to sum up,'' Loki smiled bitterly. ''I am doomed to live a mortal life, be pinned to this bed or something like this, there will be no help and.. is there something else I have forgotten? Oh, yes – no magic allowed. I'm so grateful for your help, Thor – will you be visiting me?''
''Of course I will.'' Thor sighed in relief. ''whenever you need me, brother, I will be with you.''
''You won't have to.'' Loki whispered. ''cause I won't have any need of you. Now, get out!''
''What?'' the Thunder God seemed confused.
''Get out of here, Thor Odinson!'' Loki yelled at him, feeling at the edge already. that senseless oaf, what was taking him so long? ''and never dare to come back again!''
''Loki I won't leave you here alone, I have no guarantee S.H.I.E.L.D. won't come for you!'' Thor protested.
''They won't Thor, what use am I to them now? Weak, broken and crippled?''
''They don't know that! They might hurt you or even kill you!''
''Well, not worse than this.'' Loki spat. ''And no concern of yours, whatsoever.''
''I won't leave you alone brother!''
''I am not your brother, I never was!'' Loki screamed, holding back tears that were already shining in his green eyes. cursed sentiment. ''Go, run after your just and wise father, who left me here to rot! Go and he will make you the rightful king of Asgard!''
''Hey, guys, guys!'' Tony said in a warning voice – he just stepped inside the room, after considering if it was wise to interfere for nearly 5 minutes. ''calm down, both of you!'' and looked helplessly at Thor, who had Mjolnir raised already, as if he was going to hit Loki with it. But tony knew he would do no such thing. At last he hoped so.
''What are you going to do, Thor, hit me?'' Loki snarled at him. ''do you wish to kill me? Oh, please, go right ahead, death is better than this misery.''
Thor put the hammer down, turned around and left the room.
There was an awkward silence between Tony and Loki. then the Trickster spoke;
''Mr Stark, I am really sorry that you are involved in this.''
''That's ok, reindeer games.'' Tony said cheerfully, but his smile and voice seemed too fake. ''Thor will return and you will settle everything.''
Loki shook his head and smiled bitterly. ''yes he will, you'll see.'' Tony assured.
''He is a fool and may have hope to settle things, which i see no reason for, but that's not what I am talking about.'' the Trickster said. ''I meant my state and the situation.. I just have no other choice and if you do not wish to grant me your hospitality, which will be quite expect able from your side..''
Realization dawned on Tony, so that's what the raven-haired man meant – of course as long as Odin banished him he had nowhere to go and he was not able to walk either. And here he thought tony would kick him out? Tony may be a bit selfish, but he was not a monster. No, he would do no such thing.
''Loki, you can stay as long as you like. I have no intention to kick you out.'' Tony assured.
''Thank you, Mr. Stark.'' Loki nodded and smiled. ''for now, I have no other choice.''
''It's settled then. Do you need something?''
''No, thank you. I would like to be alone for some time and think, if you don't mind.''
''No, of course not.'' Tony said. ''if you need anything, just ask Jarvis about it.''
Tony left. Loki rolled on his side and covered his face with a blanket. He could let tears fall from his eyes now. He had nothing left. Nothing. What was he going to do?
Steve was sitting in the kitchen. He stood up and looked at tony with a clear question on his face.
''What happened?''
''Odin banished Loki.'' Tony answered and threw himself on the sofa. ''he is staying here.''
''Here? You mean, at Stark Tower?''
''Yes.''
''Why?''
''He wants to stay.'' Tony muttered, not really in a mood to be giving a long backstory.
''Wait, what? Loki wants to stay and you let him? Tony, are you insane? He threw you out of the window a last week!''
''I know Steve. But the situation changed slightly after that. You see.. he is sick steve, really. He can't even walk and as much as I heard what Odin said, he won't be able anytime soon. Tell me, what would you do? Kick him out on the street? Hand him to SHIELD?''
Steve bit his lips. Tony was right – it would not be a good thing to do. The god of mischief might not be the best person in the world, but no one deserved treatment like that, but there was a great chance of split up in the team about the matter.
''Tony, did you not consider...'' Steve started slowly, choosing his world with attention, ''that others might not accept the news like I did?''
billionaire nodded and got up – yes cap, the idea crossed my mind – said he while waking to the bar and pouring himself a drink. ''Clint and Natasha – I know they won't be.. happy.''
''It's not just about them, Tony! What you think SHIELD will do, when they discover that Asgard has given up on Loki, kind of.. officially?''
''Shit.'' Tony muttered. That thought did not occur while talking to Trickster. He just wondered, if Loki thought of the same as Steve, when he referred that Stark might not want to show him hospitality. ''So what you want me to do Cap? What are you suggesting?''
''Keep it secret?'' Rogers replied doubtfully.
''So you would lie to Eye Patch and his assassins for the sake of Trickster God?'' Tony actually laughed at that ''what about righteousness? Truth? Honor?''
''What about giving up an innocent man to those murderers as a lab rat?'' Steve asked back, raising his voice, his face reddened.
''Innocent? He kind of destroyed the city.'' Tony remarked but took off as Captain stood up from the couch, clenching his fists. ''oh, oh easy there, Capsicle! I am the one who let him stay don't you forget.''
''I'm sorry Tony.'' Steve muttered. ''I should not have freaked out at you. He just.. reminded me of myself.''
''How so?'' Stark furrowed his brows, confused.
''You see.. when I woke up.. everyone I ever loved was dead.'' Steve started walking to and pro. ''I had no idea where I wanted to go, whole world was estranged to me, but at least I could walk, I could take care for myself.'' he sighed and sat down on the chair near the bar. ''at least I knew – what lead me to this had a purpose worth fighting for and Loki - even Thor had left him.'' Steve poured himself a glass of Johnnie Walker and looked up to Tony. ''how could he?'' he whispered.
''Technically it was Loki who kicked him out.'' Tony had no idea why he felt he had to defend the Thunderer. He was in charge as well, after all.
''Who?'' the two men turned around to see Bruce standing at the door. ''who was kicked out?'' he asked again.
''Hey, Bruce!'' Tony tried to lighten things. ''What's up? Haven't seen you lately, still caged inside your lab?''
''I was trying to search anything that could help Loki.'' Bruce admitted, ''I made some tests, they led to nothing, again!'' he almost shouted the last words and
Tony got really worried. ''calm down, buddy, we ain't need any new holes in my floor!''
Bruce nodded and walked towards the bar as well. ''don't worry friend – I've got the Beast under control. so what about my question?''
''It was Thor.'' Steve answered. ''Loki and him.. kind of had a disagreement.''
''Gosh, out of all people, only Cap would set it out that way!'' Tony laughed, ''damn, Point Break almost ripped his brother's head off for mocking their dear daddy.''
''And Loki told him to leave?''
''To cut long story short – yeah, he did.''
''That's awful.'' Bruce whispered. ''where is he now?''
''He flew off buddy, how the hell am I supposed to know?'' Tony shrugged.
''Oh, don't be silly, Tony, I mean Loki. where is he? When his father arrived, I thought he might heal him the way I was not possible, or take him to Asgard.''
''Yeah, we all did.'' Steve sighed. ''But he banished him and took his powers from him.''
Bruce was shocked. ''so he left him like that? With nothing? In SHIELD's hands? Does he have any idea..''
''Actually we were just discussing that.'' Tony exchanged glances with Steve. ''we are letting Loki stay.''
''Hold on there, who's ,,we''?'' Bruce does not seem content.
''Actually.. me. I said to him he could stay at the Tower for some time.'' Tony admitted. ''don't look at me like that, okay?'' he spat, when he saw Bruce's expression. ''what the hell was I supposed to do?''
''Is he alone?'' Bruce wondered.
''Yeah. Jarvis, what's Loki up to?''
''His condition remains unchanged Sir,'' Jarvis relieved. ''he has not moved or said anything since you left.''
''Shit!'' Tony felt uncomfortable feeling creeping in his chest. ''it has been an hour or something!''
''One hour and 23 minutes to be correct, Sir. I've been asking him if he need some kind of attendance from time to time, he never answered.''
''I have to look at him.'' Billionaire stood up. Steve and Bruce nodded in agreement and exchanged worried glances.
Tony felt stupid while knocking on Loki's door. What if he did not answer at all?
''Hey, reindeer games? Are you there?'' Tony mentally facepalmed himself realizing how dumb that sounded – for God's sake, the guy could not walk, of course he was in there, where would he go. ''I'm coming in.''
Tony opened the door and walked in. Loki was lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling with dull, empty eyes, which seemed a bit strange color – when Tony got closer to him, he realized – they were red – the God has been crying.
Tony felt a pressure in his chest. Damn, he was last person to comfort. Maybe Bruce should have come instead. – Loki are you all right? – the Trickster God looked at him and smirked with half smile.
''I've been through worse.'' he said.
''Well.. er.. I just wanted to check if you were okay. Would you like me to.. dunno, get you something? a TV, or magazine? A book maybe?''
''I'm flattered, Stark, but I don't need anything.'' Loki said and closed his eyes. Tony suddenly noticed that he was paler then usual and his hands were clenched in fists, holding sheets, shaking a bit. Tony felt a need to take the Trickster's hand, through he doubted Loki would appreciate the gesture, he did nevertheless and jumped in shock – his hands were terribly hot.
''Jarvis? What's Loki's temperature?''
''39,4 c, Sir.'' the AI answered.
''Holy cow! Jarv, get Bruce, now! Loki? Loki can you hear me?'' Tony knelled down by the bed and shook the Trickster. ''Come on, Lokes, open your eyes!'' the Raven-haired man stared at him, but his eyes were unfocused. ''what's your normal temperature?''
Trickster's eyes closed again, but he started shaking uncontrollably this time – as if he was cold but that was impossible. Tony was almost panicking by the time the door burst open and Bruce rushed in.
''What's happening?'' he asked and moved Tony away. ''damn it! Jarvis what's his temperature?''
''40 c, Sir.''
''But you said 39 just a minute ago.'' Tony protested.
''Blood pressure?''
-''180/120 Sir.''
''Damn, tony, this is getting serious! You should call an ambulance, I am not a real doctor, you know!'' Bruce said, looking really anxious.
''I can't Bruce, S.H.I.E.L.D will know right away that he's here!''
''He's having signs of Hypertension, Tony! That's no joke! We have to drop down the temperature. He's sweating, we need to cool him down. Do you have the ice cubes?''
''Yeah, of course.'' Tony was dumbfounded, staring at Loki, who's lips were turning blue already.
''Go, get them, now!''
Bruce torn off white t-shirt banished God was wearing and stared in utter horror – his veins and arteries were turning black and his skin was beginning to ashen. suddenly Loki began to stir.
''LOKI! LOKI! can you hear me?'' Bruce asked loudly.
''Brother?'' Loki's voice was barely audible, but it made Bruce's heart twist. ''Thor is that you?''
''It's all right Loki, everything's gonna be all right.'' Bruce answered, trying to avert the question about Thor, but Loki did not seem to recognize his voice anyway.
''Thor, I'm sorry!'' the Trickster choked out, grabbing Bruce's hand. ''I... did not mean to.. I'm so sorry... Please, don't leave me, please..'' he was coughing violently and Bruce helped him set up a bit and lean to the pillows. suddenly his eyes snapped open once again and the scientist stared them in shock – they were white and to judge by Loki's terrified face, he was not able to see anything as well.
''what the hell!'' Tony whispered and Bruce turned over to look at the Billionaire, who just came back with the bag of ice cubes.
Bruce took some ice, rolled them in a towel and put it down on Loki's forehead. Loki seemed to relax a bit, his breath calmed down. Bruce sighed in relief – whatever was wrong with the Trickster God, it seemed to pass, for some time, at least.
''What happened? You guys seems to get along quite well, Why is he holding your hand like that?'' Tony tried to pull a joke, but Bruce's glance silenced him.
''He thought I was Thor.'' the Scientist sighed heavily. He considered better not to share Loki's words with Tony. It was too private.
''What did you do anyway?''
''Nothing. I did nothing.'' Bruce answered. ''it just passed on it's own.'' He looked down to Loki, who was already asleep. ''but we should not leave him alone like that again.''
''I will stay with him.'' Tony nodded.
''No you go, get some sleep. he will be needing a doctor if something goes wrong anyway. There is no point..''
''I will stay.'' Tony cut off shortly.
''All right.'' Bruce stood up. 'Ask Jarvis to wake me if anything changes. - he said and walked out of the room.
tony pulled a chair near to bed and took his Stark-Pad.
The night was going to be long.
A.N/ i don't even know what gave me an idea for this, maybe i thought to make Loki dependent on others is the best and the most curious way to watch him change.
anyway, if you think the story is worth going on leave reviews! would you like it to go a bit Frost-Iron? or Thunder-Frost maybe? or just friendly feelings are better?
thank you :)