What to do about Magik?

Gotham style

Author's note: Illyana will be doing more DC Universe crossovers (Once the story Arkham is done). Why? Cause it's fun and LordGrise and I both have various ideas (and are in fact working on some of those ideas). General assumption is that Illyana is "tolerated" because they can't figure out what else to do (lemonade out of lemons I suppose) and better to have her hanging out with them then the villains.

This is a funny short story that struck me while I was shopping at Costco. A tad naughty, and partially inspired by the online comic Waiting for the trade. Which is a comic about comics; and very funny I might add; I support it on Patron. He wrote a funny story about Booster Gold (on Jan 5, 2018) and I suppose this story resulted.

Dedicated to all who need a good laugh.

Part 1: Liberties were taken or… (based "lightly" upon actual events)

Scott Summers was briefly visiting the DC universe, courtesy of Illyana (yes he's dead but we are talking Hell Lord so certain liberties are allowed, or maybe this was shortly before he died, not sure). He was at the Justice League Watchtower space station attending a social event of all things, as Illyana's guest (nibbles, wine, and an open bar).

Many a super hero was present, as well as various big wigs and the party was on (If this space station's a rocking, don't come a nockin).

Scott was of course wearing his Red field uniform with the X over his eyes, the one created by Illyana. After several hours of conversation, dancing, various power feats (At one point Scott was in a target contest with the green arrow and Nightwing) and even some rather raucous events, Scott managed to corner Illyana as he had a question.

"Illyana, a word if you please."

"Yes Scott? Enjoying the party?"

"Yes in fact, rather nice being treated like a person again. Not quite the party I expected, but fun."

Illyana had not told Scott just where the party was, or who the actual attendees were.

Illyana agreed."It's fun, but the Titans are the one's who really know how to throw down. What's your question?"

Why does everybody here think I'm gay?"

A grin from Illyana, a wicked grin. "Bi Scott. Not gay, Bi."

"Okay, why do they all think I'm Bi and apparently very promiscuous?"

"Several of them asked about the whole love triangle between you, Jean, and Logan."

Scott scowled at Illyana, which turns out to have much less of an impact when your eyes are hidden. "And you told them Logan was after me instead of Jean?"

Illyana took a sip of her white wine. "Not all Scott, I told them that it was you jonesing for Logan. Quite the torrid love affair. Even that quote about how you wished you knew how to quit him."

"That's a line from the film broke back mountain."Complained Scott.

"They never made that film here so the quote sounded very real."

"And?"

"It all turned out well. Although you did tell Jean that if she forced you to pick it was going to be Canadian bacon all the way as you weren't giving up your love Canuck."

"WHAT!"

Illyana was obviously enjoying herself, and possible a tad tipsy. "Three way or no way, that was your line in the sand. Jean gave in, but that was just the start."

"Start?"

"The three of you all shacked up together, then Emma joined the party as well as Jean and Emma had this weird opposites attract thing going on. Not that you or Logan minded… no… not at all."

Okay that was a weird dream that Scott had had once, but Logan had not been part of that fantasy. Illyana continued the horror.

"Oh, and Betsy Braddock joined as well because we both know she's a bit of a skank. Man was the Professor pissed, kept making comments about are we fighting the foes or just attempting foreplay? I guess there was also lots of hate sex as well as plain old orgies. In the end you all moved into Emma's mansion on Fifth Avenue and joined the Avengers. Why do you ask?"

Count to ten Scott told himself. She's a hell lord, they do things like this from time to time. Yelling at her never ever works. Yelling might make it worse, and she won't listen anyway.

"That Booster Gold guy just won't leave me alone. Keeps inviting me to… well to some events. You wouldn't by chance still be annoyed about that little locking you up in solitary confinement with a bomb jacket for months and months that I did back in Utopia?"

"Why would I be Scott? Under continuous surveillance? No privacy at all? Only moist towelettes to bathe with? I always did wonder if it was only Danger reviewing the footage or if others… watched."

For some odd reasons Scott didn't have a ready answer."Ummmmm… Ahhhh... I assure you that…"

Illyana had a twinkle in her eye. "Oh look, its Black Lightning and a friend, and boy do they look interested about something."

Scott tried again."Illyana I…" But a flicker of a light disk and Illyana was gone.

"Mr. Summers…" Began Black Lightning. "Booster Gold is putting together a little afters party for the more open minded and we would love to have you attend, assuming your husbands and wives would approve."

"Husbands?" Replied Scott with that sinking feeling that Illyana had left out a few extra details.

"Why Captain America and Hawkeye of course. My my, such good taste you have."

"I certainly hope so."Replied Black Lightning's companion while giving Scott a look that made Scott feel like a cream puff being eyed by the hungry.

Before Scott could formulate a reply, several females joined the little gathering. "We'd all love to… have you." Was one rather large breasted redhead's comment to him.

What happened next you ask? Well… what happens in the DC universe says in the DC universe.