A long trip to the States resulted in a relationship. Sounds like the beginning of a modern fairy tale. Still, it won't be long until I have to go back home. It may have been my youth, but I've already told him that I love him. He, in his perpetually calm manner, told me to really think about my emotions. 'Love is a powerful word. Take care not to use it too casually.' He can be so frustrating. We've been dating for nine months, but I still can't crack that smile. I asked him about it, and he smiled. "I laugh because I must not cry. That is all. That is all." Wait…
I feel like an idiot…
Depression. He's depressed, but doing everything he can to keep smiling. And he hid it from me. And I know why. Japanese stereotypes. Hide those that are different, keep all issues within the family. Hikikomori are the dirty little secret of many families. I think my father knows. Still, I haven't changed.
Maybe I love him, maybe I don't; I can still see myself spending the rest of my life with him. Or is that my inner romantic talking… What am I saying? We're still so young. We aren't living in the Middle Ages.
'Maki, I need to talk to you. In person. I've already asked your father and he gave his blessing. Your father scares the shit out of me. Anyway, meet me where we first started dating. I have an important question for you.'
Is he going too…? One muffled scream and a frantic search for my best clothes later; I was rushing off to Wildwood. A field of flowers was waiting. The moon shining brightly above the horizon. Maybe this is a modern fairy tale. I just hope that it has a happy ending.
"The moon is beautiful tonight, isn't it?" He would use the rather poetic translation of 'I love you', wouldn't he?
"I was thinking about my words to you. About the power of the word love. Old man Gehrman helped open my eyes. I had three choices. To see the Sunrise, to keep the Promises, or to witness the beginning of Childhood. I might have accepted one of them, if they didn't have an unacceptable cost."
He thinks he's still alone; his old habit of waxing philosophical when he has no one to talk to. He usually writes these speeches, but now he decided to speak.
"Yes. Banoi was the first event, Rapture the second, and Yharnam the third." Banoi Island; the Dead Island. He was there? So it's not depression. It's PTSD.
'I laugh because I must not cry. That is all. That is all.'
"If I didn't have an optimistic attitude, an idealistic mindset, I likely would have committed suicide. What would be the point of surviving if I didn't believe there was something worth living for? Yeah, there are monsters. There are beings of such scope that they can drive people mad through proximity. I know. I fought and killed many of them. Perfect beings are severely overrated, they bleed like anything else. The inevitability of death is no reason to give up hope. No matter how long the night may be…" The sun crested the horizon. "Morning always comes."
"Justin?"
"Maki? When did you get here?"
"When you commented on the moon."
"You heard everything then? I see." He faces me. "Now that you know more of my history, my question becomes even more important. Maki Nishiniko…" He takes a knee. "Will you marry me?" What else could I say but…
"Yes."