Matthew opened his eyes in pure darkness. The clock told him, it was only minutes after midnight. Slowly, Mathew picked up his glasses from his nightstand and turned on the little lamp standing on it. His whole body was shivering, tears running down his cheeks. A quite sob left his mouth as a last remain of the nightmare he just awoke from.

Matthew nearly jumped, as he felt something- or better someone- moving next to him.

"Mattie?", a sleepy voice called out for him, as he looked into the eyes of his lovers, "why are you awake? Having nightmares again?"
Matthew nodded, "I-I'm sorry for waking you up, Gilbert."
"Oh no, are you crying again?", Gilbert sat up and gently layed his arms aroung the younger man, "there there... it's okay now, I am beside you."

"I dreamed of your death", Matthew sobbed, "I don't want you to die!"
"I am not dead, Mattie!", he hugged him tighter, "and I won't die soon. I couldn't ever leave my sweet Canadian birdie alone, right?"

"B-but it felt so real..."

"It was just a dream, Mattie. I am right next to you, you see? And even if something happened to me, I am just too awesome to die!"
His words brought a little smile to Matthew's lips, "you're right, I guess. I'm sorry, Gil. I... I think I am just afraid to lose you one day."

"Matthew Williams, I will never leave you! You are the most preious person in my life!", he sighted and placed a gentle Kiss , "let's go back to sleep, okay? I promise, I will still be here tomorrow."

"Okay...", Matthew leaned his head against his lover's chest and cuddled him, "good night, Gilbert."

"Good night, Mattie. I love you."

When Mattew woke up, his cheeks were still wet from his tears. The sun had just began to rise. The bed next to him was empty; it had been for three years now. A shiver ran down his back, as he put on his glasses and grabbed his phone.

"Mattie?", the voice of a grumpy young man picked up the phone, "what the fuck? What the hell are you calling for? You do know, it's four in the morning, don't you?!"

"Sorry Al, but... do you have time to talk for a while?"
"Mattie, it's four a.m.- you had a nightmare again, am I right?"
"It's not a nightmare. It... it just makes me sad. It was the same dream as always."
"Mattie, it has been three years now. I don't want to sound like an complete asshole, but I think it's time to get over it."

"I know that! I am just afraid, I might completely forget about him."
"You won't forget about him. How could you? You have pictures of him, you have videos... you even have his damn last name!"

"I know!", Matthew sighted, "It is really tiring to be all alone. I guess, I need someone to cuddle me from time to time."

"Fine. I'm over in a minute. Wanna visit his grave?"
"No. Just talking to you is all I need right now. Want me to make you some pancakes?"
"I don't even like...", he made a break, "alright, make me the best pancakes in the world, little bro. I'm coming over now. See you!"
"See you...", Matthew hang up the phone. He looked down at his hand, where a golden wedding ring was blinking in the early sunlight.

I love you, Mattie.

"I love you too, Gilbert", he whispered, "I always have loved you and I always will do. Even if you continue lying to me every night in my dreams. My god, I miss you so much."