Moments – Trixie
It was a celebration, a coming of age, a twenty-first birthday.
Earlier on that hot, steamy July evening, the Bob-White girls had laughed when they dressed in Honey's room for the big party. Their exclusive gowns were almost identical, with the colour of the simmering fabric matching their eyes. Except Hallie, who had chosen red to suit her complexion rather than the chocolate of her dark, luminescent orbs. After all, their spaghetti-strapped, mid-thigh-length numbers had come from Mrs Wheeler's favourite boutique.
So far the night had lived up to her expectations. In desperation, she had finally approached the DJ and asked for a song.
'I don't believe I have that one,' he answered, smiling politely.
'Just as well I have the CD so you can play it for me.' She handed the young man the silver disk she'd hidden in her purse earlier in the night.
'It really doesn't go with the mood of this celebration,' the DJ commented, eyeing the CD he took from the young woman's outstretched hand and placing it well out of the way.
'It suits my mood tonight,' she told him seriously, 'and it might just tell the person it's aimed at how I feel without giving too much away.'
Twenty minutes later, after a particularly slow song, the DJ finally decided to play her request. He only did it because he'd watched the girl circle the room several times without engaging any one. She's far too young and pretty to be so sad, he thought as he shook his head, so here goes. I hope this song has the desired affect.
'I have a special request for a very special lady.' Without thinking, the DJ added spontaneously, 'Happy birthday, birthday boy.'
Only after the words left his mouth did he realise he'd given the impression the two comments were actually linked. Great, now the birthday boy will think this song is aimed at him. Heck, maybe it is and I've done them a favour.
I heard he sang a lullaby,
I heard he sang it from the heart,
With the first strains of the orchestral music, she found the nearest door and went outside to enjoy the words in silent contemplation. She knew she was going to cry, because this song made her think of him, which always made her cry. Standing at the edge of the deck, she held tightly to the railing for support and looked over the Wheeler estate while the party continued behind her in full swing.
When I heard I thought I'd die,
Because that lullaby was mine,
I heard he sealed it with a kiss,
He gently kissed her cherry lips,
I found that so hard to believe,
Because his kiss belonged to me.
Why did an angel break my heart?
Why didn't he catch my falling star?
I wish I didn't wish so hard,
Maybe I wished our love apart,
Why did an angel break my heart?
'Why so sad, Trix?' Jim had crept up behind her, placing his hands on her exposed shoulders.
'Because this song says it all,' she told him, unwilling to turn around and show the tears welling in her eyes. 'The man I love is in love with someone else.'
'Have you told him how you feel?' he queried.
'Why?' she asked bitterly. Shaking off his touch, Trixie added, 'I'd only be rejected because if he's not engaged, he soon will be.'
Her face is white as the rain,
Soft as a rose that blooms in May,
He keeps her picture in a frame,
And when he sleeps he calls her name.
'Trix,' Jim sounded disheartened. 'You and I have always been the best of friends. I'm here for you, whenever you need me. I hope you realise just how much I care about you.'
Unwilling to trust herself to answer, Trixie nodded.
I hope she doesn't make him smile.
The way he use to smile at me,
I hope she doesn't make him laugh,
Because his laugh belongs to me.
I'm not laughing now, Trixie reminded her breaking heart.
'Trix,' Jim tried again, 'if you feel this deeply, go and talk to him.'
'Would you go and talk to the girl you loved if she came to this party with another man?' Trixie turned to face him. 'A man she was obviously in love with. A man you knew would propose to her at any moment.'
'I guess not.' Jim looked embarrassed.
Oh, I'm dying, I'm trying
To walk away
Please help me
To forget that man
'If I loved somebody that much,' Jim chose his words and tone very carefully, 'and they didn't feel the same way about me, I would hope I had the strength of character to support her choice of partner. I couldn't help but hope our friendship would survive the transition.'
'That's exactly what I'm trying to do, Jim,' Trixie told him, 'trying to survive tonight. Then the both of them will be back at college and things will return to the way they've been forever. Maybe with time I'll stop feeling this way and the next time I see them together it won't hurt so much.'
Why did an angel break my heart?
Why didn't he catch my falling star?
I wish I didn't wish so hard,
Maybe I wished our love apart,
Why did an angel break my heart?
'I need to go up to Honey's room and repair my makeup,' Trixie stated as the last mournful strains of Toni Braxton ended and a more upbeat song commenced. 'I'm not fit to be seen by anyone in this state.'
'I'm fit to see you, Trix,' Jim whispered as he watched her retreating up the main stairs to his sister's bedroom. 'And I understand your song, because I feel the same way. Like you, I'm just trying to survive the feeling I have for the woman I love, because she's made it very obvious that she doesn't love me.'
Trixie took off her dress and threw it on Honey's bed. In exchange, she donned one of her friend's old halter tops and a pair of cut offs. Slipping out of her heels, Trix picked up a pair of loafers and made her way down the back stair case. Sneaking out the kitchen door, she interrupted Dan and Hallie having a quiet moment on the back deck.
'Where you off to, Trix?' her cousin inquired in a confused voice from the circle of Dan's arms.
'Anywhere but here,' Trixie said. She didn't slow her momentum as she continued across the deck and into the garden. 'I'm not in the mood for engagement announcements at the moment.'
'Who told you?' Hallie resentment sounded through her excitement.
'Some things you don't need to be told,' Trixie called back, 'you just know they're going to happen.'
'I think she's got the wrong end of the stick,' Dan whispered in his fiancée's ear as he watched his friend disappear around the corner of the house.
Finally, Trixie thought as she approached the lake. There was a rock on the other side she liked to sunbathe on in the summer. Should I swim across to it now?
Wading in, she made it to calf level before the voices disturbed her inner contemplations. In the boat house above her she could hear Brian and Jamie talking, loudly. Actually they were shouting at each other.
'Oh, for God's sake, Brian,' Jamie hissed, 'why don't you just admit that I was a rebound relationship and that you heart still belongs to Honey Wheeler? It's as obvious as the nose on your face whenever the two of you are in the same room. You don't need to keep up the pretence with me.'
'It's not a pretence,' Brian argued.
'Then tell me you love me and mean it.' Jamie paused. The silence was deafening. 'Now tell me how you feel about her!'
'I…I love her,' he stumbled, surprised by his words.
'Then there's no more to say,' Jamie sighed. 'Let's go back to the party. I'll ask Jessica if I can stay with her tonight and catch a lift back to the city tomorrow.'
Trixie made it to the edge of the woods, unseen by the arguing couple. Brian and Jamie where too busy being angry at each other to catch sight of her hastily retreating figure under the cover of darkness. Only now she could hear soft moans coming from the clubhouse. When she realised there were actually two distinctly different tones, Trixie immediately resented the couple from the party using their private sanctuary in such a flagrant way. That was, until she heard Di's passion filled voice call to Mart.
There are some things a sister just doesn't want to know! Trix almost turned green as she hurried back to the boat house. There are two many memories here and I don't want to think about how Jamie must feel after breaking up with Brian. Looking over the lake, Trixie wondered what her next move would be. At least Honey will be happy. Jamie's right, Brian and Honey belong together. If it hadn't been for that silly argument last Thanksgiving, I bet they'd be engaged by now. With nowhere left to run, Trixie sighed silently. I guess I'll just have to bite the bullet and return to my own private misery at Jim's twenty-first birthday party.
The kitchen door slammed for the second time in as many minutes.
'Have you seen Trixie come this way?' Jim asked.
'Why?' Hallie teased, 'Are you looking for her?'
Noticing the diamond ring on her finger, Jim's temper flared. 'This is no laughing matter. She's really upset about your engagement and trying to hide how much she's hurting.'
'Jim,' Dan started to speak but was succinctly cut off.
'Don't you speak to me!' Jim roared. 'All these years I've been waiting for Trix to show some interest in me, only to find out it's you she's in love with.'
Dan snorted, before saying the word he knew would cool Jim's temper.
'Jessica,' he reminded.
Jim's shoulders slumped. Opening the kitchen door, he slammed it behind him as he returned to his party.
Once again dressed for the party, Trixie had scrubbed every last ounce of makeup off her face and left her hair "au natural" before descending the main stairs.
If I have to be here, I'm going to be here under my own rules and not social convention, Trixie made the determined promise to herself. Nor am I staying for the usual Bob-White sleep over.
'Trixie,' Jessica approached her nervously, 'Jim's been frantic, looking for you.'
Nodding, Trixie couldn't help but glance at the girl's ring finger, only to find it empty. Well I obviously didn't spend enough time by the lake. 'Thank you,' she offered with an absolute minimum of curtesy.
'Trixie,' Jessica reached out to grab the blonde's arm before she could move into the crowd, 'you know there's nothing between Jim and I don't you?'
'Do I?' Trixie rased an eyebrow.
'My fiancé is doing an exchange this year.' Stars entered Jessica's eyes as she spoke. 'Damon is in France at the Sorbonne, studying French literature and improving his language skills. Damon has always wanted to translate at the UN and this exchange will help his chances of achieving his dream. I've been so lonely without him. Jim's a wonderful friend who took pity on me. When Brian and Jamie started dating, we did a lot with them. But I'm leaving for Paris early next week to be with Damon until college starts again in August.'
'Maybe the question you need to ask yourself,' Jessica hinted with a serious look, 'is why would Jim attach himself to a girl who's "safe?" Why is he frantically looking for you tonight when you disappear after breaking his heart?'
'I'm not the one who broke his heart,' Trixie stated emphatically. 'I don't even make it beat faster when I'm in the same vicinity.'
'I think you underestimate yourself,' Jessica commented softly, 'or why else would Jim be trying to catch your falling star?'
Stunned into speechlessness, Trixie watched Jessica melt into the crowd.
Why did an angel break my heart?
Why didn't he catch my falling star?
I wish I didn't wish so hard,
Maybe I wished our love apart,
Why did an angel break my heart?
The words echoed in her head, taunting her.
'Oh, Jim,' Trixie moaned, wondering if she was too late to repair the damage she'd caused with her rash words earlier in the evening.
.
'Yes, Trix,' Jim whispered as he turned her to face him. Holding out his hand, he offered her a foil wrapped, cardboard star.
Nervously, Trixie searched his emerald green eyes for any signs of rejection. She found only acceptance. Taking the Silver Star from his out stretched hand, Trixie stepped closer to him. Wrapping her other arm around his neck, Trixie pulled him close.
'Where did you find it?' she whispered, a husky note invading her words.
'I caught it,' he whispered, his hands snaking around her waist and closing the gap between them, 'as it fell out of the sky.'
I don't want to waste any more time, Trixie thought as she joined both hands behind his neck and forced his head down until his lips met hers. Closing her eyes, Trixie wanted to savour each and every sensation as she kissed her soul mate for the first time. What should have remained a tentative first kiss quickly escalated to a passionate plundering of each others' mouths. The world stopped and they were the only two people in existence for a moment in time.
The cat calls and whistles from nearby onlookers wasn't enough to break the young lovers apart. A chorus of Bob-White whistles was.
'Happy twenty-first birthday, Jim,' Trixie whispered in his ear, not embarrassed by the attention they were receiving from friends and family. 'I hope all your birthday wishes have come true.'
'They have now,' he whispered back. Leaning in, he prepared to kiss her once again.