A/N: Only my own work is mine.
"I'm scared." Ziva whispered and Tony felt her stiffen in his arms. Where did that come from he wondered. He reached for the remote and paused the movie they were watching.
"Of what?" Tony asked his partner, maybe he should start thinking of her as former partner. They hadn't been working together for almost two months now, but after working together and being partners for eight years he couldn't see her as anything else anymore.
"Of losing everyone, losing you and most of all losing myself." Ziva answered, she suddenly felt tears coming up, her throat closed up. She didn't know why. She had felt so relaxed in his arms, just watching a movie, when she realized she hadn't been working with him for eight weeks and when she looked back on those eight weeks. She couldn't help but think of what she had been doing, working at Georgetown University, it wasn't who she was.
"Hey, where is this coming from?" Tony asked lifting her chin so he could look her in the eyes. He was shocked to see tears threatening to fall, her eyes shining with emotions he couldn't comprehend.
"Tony, what are we doing, this is not what we do, who we are." Ziva said and one tear fell from her cheek and was immediately caught by Tony's thumb. He was dumbfounded; he didn't know how to make it right.
"Ziva, what we do, is not who we are." Tony answered, but Ziva pulled away from him and as she moved of the couch to take a more defensive position, Tony felt like he lost her.
"Isn't it? Tony, I worked for NCIS for 8 years and you for 12. I don't feel right working at the university, do you?" Ziva spoke, her voice loud and even though Tony could not hear it in her voice her could see how confused she was in her eyes.
Tony looked back at his work with the metro PD and even though he felt like he was doing a good job, he couldn't help but agree with Ziva's statement that it didn't feel right. "Ziva, it just takes some getting used to, we need time to adjust."
"That's what I'm worried about Tony." Ziva answered.
"I don't understand." Tony said frustrated with the whole situation.
"I don't want to adjust to this life, I don't want to change into the person that likes to have a full time teaching job. I want to work at NCIS, investigate, come up with theories and catch murderers with you guys. I don't want to be different. I want to be me." Ziva responded, knowing that she wasn't making any sense. Change, adapting was needed to survive.
"Ziva, change can be good sometimes." Tony said, but even he could hear in his voice that this change they were forced into was one he wasn't open for.
"Change can also be bad." Ziva said.
"I know, but Ziva. You don't have to run after bad guys anymore. You make decent hours, the pay is better. So what if that changes you a bit, that you're not sore when you come home, that you're less stressed, that you can buy some nicer things or just go away for weekends." Tony responded wanting her to feel good about everything, even if they both wished to be back at NCIS.
"What if it changes me more then a little bit?" Ziva asked.
Tony didn't know how to answer. He didn't know what it was that she wanted to hear. He wished so badly he could read her mind; see this through her eyes so he could make it all okay.
"Tony, what if I won't be me anymore."
"People change, that's life Ziva." Tony answered standing up from the couch, Ziva opened her mouth to respond, but stopped herself. He could see her internal struggle, he just didn't see with what.
Ziva bit her tong as tears started to fall. "Tony what if, we don't like the person we are changing into."
"We control the changes we make Ziva. If you don't like the changes you're making, then make others."
"That's not what I meant Tony, what if we don't like the changes in each other." Ziva whispered another tear fell from her eyes, this time however it wasn't caught; it just fell down her cheek and onto the ground. Tony being frozen on his spot just a few feet away from her.
Tony followed the path of her tear, saw it fall to the ground, the small circle it made on the wood. "Ziva, we will change, we've changed. Look at the past eight years Ziva, I'm not the same person that you met all that time ago and neither are you."
"I know Tony, but what if we change the wrong thing?" Ziva asked.
Tony looked into her eyes, he finally understood what she was asking, where the insecurity came from. He stepped forward and took her face into his hands. "Ziva, being partners for these past eight years, what we've been through, made us grow closer, if there is one person on this world that knows me better then myself it's you. Changing jobs, changing some of our hobbies, our jobs, our favorite movie maybe even some of our ideals, or ideas about the world, is not going to make me care any less about you Ziva." Tony said.
Ziva looked in his eyes, she could see the intense determination there. "But."
"No buts. Ziva I don't care about you because of your job, or because of you favorite movie, I care about you, because of everything you are and believe in. Every single quirk, smile, mistake, believe, memory, it does not matter if you change a few things. Because what is a few things, in the million things that I love about you, I'll grow to love them too. I promise." Tony said softly.
Ziva looked up at him, love, he had said love. She wasn't sure if he realized it himself. "I love you too."
Tony saw the emotions play out on her face, heard the 'I love you too' and wondered where the too came from till he realized what he had said. He leaned in and kissed her. His hands that had been holding her face went into her hair as her arms went around his neck.
The last coherent thought in Ziva's mind before she let herself get completely lost in him was. 'not all change is bad.'
A/N: I always think the more things you love about a person the more obstacles you can overcome. What do you think?