Also, none of these characters are copyrighted by me.
It all started near the China/Taiwan border. There were about four hobbits armed with the latest in spy technology, all looking confused at a perfectly spherical, glowing rock. "This is boring. I wish I was back home in the Shire." "Shut up, Dritzz. The OSS is paying us big money to find out what this does." "But Drtizz, paper money isn't worth anything in the Shire." "Maybe if you stopped mentioning the Shire in every sentance you said then they might have converted it for you. Get back to work.."
Dritzz whined about the Shire a bit more until he realized nobody was listening to him, then he got a can of Coke from his pack, shook it and opened it pointed at the rock. The rock grew a mouth and said "Mmm, Cocaine. You have actived the Microsoft MysteryPortal 2000. Please stand by.
The rock exploded into 1000 billion pieces, and a huge hole appeared in the ground. Only it wasn't the normal kind of hole that was dark. This hole was a swirling mass of purple. The hobbits got sucked in, and then the portal closed, and then the rock was automatically reconstructed.