OOCness and slight crack...seriously, this story makes no sense. Not even to me. Huzzah! Seriously though, how did hamburgers get in Feudal Japan?

I really couldn't think of a reason why Yukimura wouldn't let Sasuke eat meat, other than he's a vegetarian afficionado.

I think I should stick to oneshots, since that's all I seem capapble of writing...and finishing.

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"Heeeey! Sasuke!"

Sasuke Sarutobi looked up from where he sat painting. Yukimura had told him Sasuke needed a vacation and then disappeared, leaving him with Yuya-nee-san and the gang. When not traveling, Sasuke had taken up painting. It was relaxing and-though he would never admit it out loud-he loved it when nee-san complimented how good his paintings were.

The gang was staying at an inn for the night, and Sasuke had snuck away to the nearby river for some peace and quiet. He was just starting to wish for his paint set when he heard his name being called.

"Yuya-nee-san, what are you doing here?"

The blonde-haired young woman sat down beside him and placed a satchel in his lap-the satchel he kept his paint tools in. "I thought you might want this," she said, "and I was sorta hoping I could watch you paint again."

Sasuke ducked his head, trying to hide a smile. He pulled out his tools and some paper and painted all through the evening. Once the sun set, Yuya lit a lamp and hung it on a low branch so he could continue painting. Watching Sasuke paint was, in a way, like watching Kyo fight. She didn't quite understand it, but it made him feel happy and peaceful, in an odd sort of way, and he loved doing it.

When he was almost finished, she asked, "So what did you paint this time?"

He tilted the paper so she could see. It was a beautiful woman sitting by a stream. The woman was weaving her hair into a field of golden wheat, and her kimono was growing from a nearby weeping willow. The stream rose up from its bed and tied around her waist as an obi. Her face held no details-no eyes, no nose, no mouth. The sky above her differed between starlit night and the pale blue of early morning.

"Oh, Sasuke! It's beautiful!"

"Eh, it's not much, but thanks nee-san." He secretly basked in her praise. It was also his secret pleasure to tease Kyo and Benitora about how much she praised him and not them. But he always made sure to tease Kyo when he was in a lazy mood. Not like he acknowledged Sasuke's teasing half the time anyway.

Yuya stood and brushed the dirt off her skirt. She pulled the lamp from the branch, "We should head back now. Have you eaten yet, Sasuke?"

He was about to answer her when his stomach growled. He stood quickly and bowed his head in mild embarassment.

Yuya laughed as she lead the way back to the group.

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Demon Eyes Kyo sat with his back against the wall and a bottle of sake in his right hand. Women clung to him, stroking his muscles and telling him how handsome and strong he was. Benitora was half-passed out on the floor, yet he had somehow managed to not spill his precious alcohol. Bontenmaru smoked a pipe, his face flushed from having one too many bottles of sake.

Yukimura Sanada lazed amongst them. He had recently shown up, claiming he missed his little ninja and had come back for him. After Benitora had informed him that Miss Yuya had just left to go look for said ninja, Yukimura plopped down and began drinking with the rest of them to pass the time.

All four men turned their heads when they heard the door slide open and watched as Sasuke and Yuya slipped in the room. Each of them carried something wrapped in cloth in each hand. The smell of fresh cooked meat wafted through the air.

"What took you so long, Dog Face?" Yuya chose to ignore Kyo's comment in favor of passing out the bundles of food. She was too hungry to waste time bickering with the egotistical bastard anyway.

Sasuke set his bundles down and pulled out a smaller bundle wrapped in a crinkle-y type of paper. He could see the warm bun, the crunchy lettuce, the sweet tomatoe, and the juicy beef through the wrapping. His mouth watered slightly and he barely noticed when Yuya raised his arms and removed his bag.

Yuya giggled at how distracted the young boy was. Stopping to get something to eat on their way back to the inn, the most tantalizing aroma had carried through the night air. When Sasuke had asked what it was, Yuya had answered, "Ah, hamburgers! I haven't had one in years."

Never having tried a hamburger, the smell called to the young shinobi until they finally found the stall and they decided to buy some for the whole gang. Sasuke had walked slightly faster afterwards, eager to get to the inn so he could sit and eat his burger.

Benitora and Bontenmaru quickly took the delicious smelling bundles, drool practically running down their chins. Kyo glared at Yuya as she handed him his hamburger, still upset that she hadn't responded to his name-calling. Immature asshole, she thought.

When she tried to hand one to Yukimura, he shook his head and said, "I don't eat meat," he glanced at Sasuke, "and SASUKE! YOU SHOULDN'T EAT MEAT EITHER!"

Sasuke almost dropped his burger at Yukimura's outburst, "But it smells really good Yukimura, and I'm hungry." Yuya had never heard Sasuke sound like such a child. Not that she blamed him. Burgers tasted friggin' awesome, especially when you were hungry.

"It doesn't matter! You know you're not supposed to eat meat. You're a shinobi, right? Meat causes body oder and even something as natural as that can get you killed! Plus, you know I reeeeaaaaally hate meat!"

Everyone, including the great and terrifying Demon Eyes Kyo almost-almost-felt sympathy for the boy when a look of heartbreak crossed his face. A burger? Even Kyo wasn't so cruel as to tell the boy he couldn't eat a burger. Burgers were sacred. And delicious. And juicy. And mouth-watering. Kyo forgot what little sympathy he might have felt stirring in the deepest recesses of his heart as he turned to his own burger and devoured it. The same could be said for Bontenmaru and Benitora. Hey, if Yukimura made Sasuke give up the burger, one of them would get and extra.

"I'm sorry Yukimura, it's my fault. I bought him the burger," Yukimura opened his mouth to scold Yuya, "Let him eat it. He's hungry, and I won't have him starving." She then leveled him with a maternal glare that said, You let my baby eat, or Imma tear yo' ass up.

The Sanada pouted, "Miss Yuya, you have ruined my kid."

Miss Yuya really didn't care, "I'm sorry." It came out as more of a question.

The room fell silent as they all ate. Yuya began thinking of what Yukimura had said and let a smile grace her lips. So the sly Sanada did think of Sasuke as his own, if only vaguely. She had guessed as much.

The thought of children quickly took over her mind as she began to wonder what her own children would look like, how they would act, what their names would be. Unwittingly, she glanced at Kyo, and her children suddenly had his dark hair and her bright green eyes, or her hair and his eyes. Some of them were chibi-Kyo's and some were chibi-Yuya's. She shook her head as the thought of having Kyo's children became more defined.

Yukimura spoke up again, "You owe me one."

The idea of children still on her mind, she asked, "A new kid?"

"No, some sake...though if you want, we can try a ki-"

Yukimura never got to finish his sentence seeing as an empty bottle of sake crashed against his head. Kyo's had mysteriously disappeared.

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Eh, it was funnier in my head.

So Yukimura's a vegetarian and you don't mess with Mama Yuya. Yay! Now I have two complete stories...that are both oneshots...eh-heh ^^;

*gets to work on her other fics* I really should stick to oneshots OTL

...Anyone else notice my stories have very little dialogue? Then again, I'm not much of a talking person. Y'know, the whole "Actions speak louder than words" kinda girl.