I do not own Naruto

originality to Mari Mancusi

Take an umbrella it's raining

-RoboArrow

Grandma Tsunade's house was a study of crystal and glass and contained over 2,733 slugs. I knew this because I counted one rainy, dreary thanksgiving when we were stuck inside waiting for the world's slowest turkey to brown. Multicolored Beasts of crystal, glass, china, wood- she called them her 'babies' and treasured them more than her dwindling life savings (she would never admit it but she has a major gambling problem... yet it dwindles even more due to her slug habit, you wouldn't believe the prices of some of these things! She once told me when she was in a drunken state proclaiming her love of slugs and that money is just a number and shouldn't stop her from having the 'cute' creatures...). Whenever we'd come over, she'd sit me down and show me her favorites.

She Had a Lot of Favorites...

That was fine and tolerable when we lived an hour away and saw her once a year. 'Over the river and through the woods and all that.' But now we were living with her. In her Museumlike house. Surrounded by Slugs.

I suppose my story isn't unique. After all, half of marriages end in divorce, or so they say. Maybe I should count my blessings that Mom and Dad stuck it out as long as they did, Still having to vacate our uber-hip three level house, leave my private school and friends behind, and move to Slug land- all in the middle of my senior year- was a bit much...

But I had no choice. Mom and Dad weren't speaking, unless they were yelling. Neither one could afford the Mortgage on the house, so they smacked down a 'For Sale Sign' and split. Dad to a smaller apartment down the street and Mom, Me, And my Ten year old brother, Kyuubi, to Konohagakure.

To Grandmother's house we go.

I can't even begin to tell you how painful that last day at my old school was. Saying goodbye to all my beloved teachers, promising my friends I would text them at every possible second, cleaning out my locker, and tearing down the Pentatonix poster I stuck on the inside door on the first day of the school year. I'd been so full of hopes and dreams for the year back then. I was going to join the art club, write for the school paper, and of course, make Gaara's older sister Temari, my Girlfriend, (ok the last one was a long shot, but you couldn't blame a guy for being goal oriented, could you?) It was going to be the best year ever.

Now, four months later, it was gearing up to be the worst.

"Naruto! you'd better get down here or you'll miss the bus!" Grandma called from downstairs, bringing me back to reality, aka my first day at konoha high school. There were prisoners on death row more excited about their pending visit with the electric chair than i was about my Enrollment.

I mean, HELLO!

First off, there was a bus. An actual bus to take me from my middle-of-nowhere grandma's house to my still-middle-of-nowhere school. Back home, I always walked. Met my friends at the ninja cafe for french crullers and coffee, then laughed and gossiped all the way to the campus of Suna Academy. Now I'd actually have to board a smelly, fume-filled, environment-destroying bus to get to school. At least I was getting my license unsuspended in a few weeks, (the things you do at 2 in the morning are usually stupid things...) Though my chances of getting Grandma to lend me the car were slim to none.

My Cell buzzed, scattering all thoughts of transportation. I glanced down to see the text. From Kiba.

GOOD LUCK ON THE FIRST DAY!

I smiled, feeling a tiny bit better. At least I had my friends Sure, they were farther away from me now, but they still cared. I decided to call kiba before heading to school.

"Hey, dog breath," I said into the phone after he answered.

"Oh, hey, fox face, how's it going? how're the 'burbs? They arrest you for not wearing Gap yet? Turn your mom into a MILF wife?" Kiba had a habit of asking at least four questions in the same breath, making it impossible to answer any of them.

"Hardy-har-har", I replied. "you are too funny, but say that about my mom again and ill chop your nuts off."

"Whatevvvahh... at least i'm not funny-looking. fox face."

"Haven't looked in the mirror lately, have you?" I asked with mock sympathy.

"I'm looking now, Bay-beeee. and I'm looking fine. DAMN fine."

I grinned, picturing my best friend dancing and posing in front of the mirror as he was known to do, flaunting all that God had given him to anyone who cared to look. Kiba was born without any insecurity gene. He tattooed red stripes down his cheeks in the 10th grade His mother was totally cool with it too, saying that boys need to express themselves early in life so they blossom into healthy, self-sufficient men. (Kiba's mother was also divorced-after her husband ran off with their dog trainer. some believed she was still a bit bitter about the whole thing.)

Hmm. Maybe my divorced mom would now let me explore the Manic tattoos phase. It'd be so cool to get some spirals around my belly button, one time me and Kiba went to Suna Square after school and got Hena tattoos. My mom nearly had a heart attack until she found out they weren't real.

"Naruto!", grandma again, this time sounding more insistent.

I groaned. "sorry dog breath, gotta run before Grandma has Kittens and starts sneezing to death."

"kay, no prob," kiba said. "good luck today, I hope you meet some hot pieces of ass today, maybe even some sexy bad boys!"

I smiled at the thought of kiba knowing the fact that i'm bisexual and not hating me for it, " I'll settle for anyone not openly worshipping the gods of Amberzombie," i replied with a laugh. "i'll miss your ugly mug and the rest of the guys. Don't have too much fun without me.."

"Wouldn't Dream of it baby. We'll mourn you all day and fast in your honor at lunchtime, unless they're serving pizza, of course. if they're serving pizza consider yourself dead to me."

"Fair enough. i'll call you after school to let you know how it went."

"sweet, later fox face."

I pressed end, grabbed my hoodie, and vacated the Pepto-Bismol Colored, Slug themed bedroom, Grandma had stuck me in. Pretty Nauseating. let me tell you. though i couldn't exactly complain. After all, originally she wanted me to share it with Kyuubi. I think I would have stabbed myself with a Slug tail if I had to bunk with my little bro. Luckily for me, Kyuubi wasn't so keen on the idea either and used his big mouth to voice his displeasure. Repeatedly. So grandma cleaned out her alcohol room and declared it Kyuubi's. Kid had a gift for getting exactly what he wanted. I envied him for that.

I started down the Shag carpeted stairs and found Grandma standing in the Slug-infested living room below, a sentry guarding the path to freedom. And let's just say her stern disapproving look could have been picked up by a satellite.

I glanced around for Mom, but she was nowhere to be found. Must have left for work already. Not good. I bit my lower lip, knowing exactly what was coming before the woman even opened her mouth.

"You're wearing that too school?"

"Uh...yeah?" I really couldn't think of anything else to say. I prayed i was wrong about Mom being at work and that she'd suddenly come around the corner and assure Grandma that my look was perfectly acceptable for a twenty-first century teen. But no Luck.

Okay, fine, Maybe i should have dressed a Tad more conservative. we were in the suburbs after all. But image was everything in High school and i felt i needed to make the appropriate "this is who i am" statement from day one to attract the right friends. (Sad but true.) So I donned long ripped skinny red jeans, paired with doc Marten black boots and a black zip up hoodie over my white tee-shirt that said 'Mad and Unstable, stay back."

At least to me. Grandma was obviously getting a different message as she fanned herself with a slightly wrinkled hand, shaking her hand in disbelief. Eesh. You'd thought I'd come down stairs in a leather speedo with the words 'fuck me" on my chest in blaring orange.

"Naruto Uzumkai, you look like a wanna be thug." she declared.

I opened my mouth to defend and retort, but relucttantly closed it again. We'd been drilled by mom since day one not to talk back to the old hag. After all, she's soooo nice to let us live here. we need to respect her and her rules.

"I don't know what kind of getup you wore back in that city." Grandma said, spitting out the word 'city' as if it were poison. "But you'll find kinds in Konohagakure Don't dress like that."

It was an effort not to roll my eyes. How did she know what kids wore? When was the last time she hung out at the local high school? I'd be willing to bet it was back when Grease was still the word. I looked longingly at the front door, wondering if i could just make a run for it. Grandma was old, Had arthritis She'd probably couldn't catch me if i dashed outside and caught the bus just as it was picking up the neighbor hood kids down the street...

Then, as if by magic, I heard a beep outside. Phew.

"The bus!" I cried, "I gotta go, nice talk grams ill keep it in mind." I said as I scurried to the door.

The old Hag leaped in front of the door, effectively blocking my escape. for an old hag approaching another decade done and gone, she sure could move quickly. "Not so fast." she said, "I'll drive you." She folded her arms under her gigantic breasts. "After you change."

"But..."

"No buts, no hop to it Brat!"

My shoulders slumped. I wasn't going to win this, was I? I trudged over to the stairs ,my feet feeling like they were made of lead. Out the window I caught the bright yellow vision of freedom pulling away from the curb.

"You know," I remarked as I climbed ,stair by stair, "I don't have anything in my closet you'd possible approve of seriously most of everything I own is black..."

But the old hag had already thought of this, "Don't worry, sweetie." she replied immediately. "You can borrow some of my clothes."

I stopped walking. oh no, No, no, NO!

Sure enough, ten minutes later I'd been stuffed into a pair of Bulky Pale blue 'mom jeans' that came up past my belly button and a totally nonfitted oversized sweatshirt with -brace yourselves here- Frolicking Slugs embroidered on the front. (I didn't know slugs could frolic...)

It couldn't get worse. It Just Couldn't.

I looked in the mirror, horror evident on my face at my reflection, "Please granny, I can't wear this to school...Seriously."

"And why not?" She demanded, coming up behind me and straightening my sweatshirt. "I think you look adorable."

of course you do. "Yeah but they're..." I was about to say old lady clothes, but remembered mom's warning not to offend.

"No one my age would be caught dead in this kind of outfit," I Amended, "If I show up like this, everyone's going to laugh at me."

" If they laugh at you, then they're not your friends." The old hag huffed. "Real friends don't judge people by what they wear, but what they're like on the inside."

There was a huge, gigantic flaw in that argument, since she was the one who made me change clothes in the first place, but I realized it would do no good to point it out.

Instead, I looked back in the mirror praying maybe I could pull it off as some kind of edgy street wear the kids in the 'burbs hadn't heard of yet. Like, Dude Slugss are so in right now, where have you been? but it was no use while I might have slid by with the Slug thing, there was no way the MOM jeans would escape notice.

I would have to kill myself on the way to school or run away and join the circus. Or...

A plan formed in my mind, as soon as the old hag dropped me off, I'd leave campus and find a store. There had to be stores around somewhere buy a decent outfit and head to class I might have to miss first period, but it would be well worth it.

"Okay, lets go." Grandma said, jingling her keys.

Feeling better at having a plan, I joined her in her ancient toyota and let her drive me to school ten minutes later she pulled into the parking lot I looked up at the brick building on the hill. What would it be like? Would my teachers be cool? Would I find new friends? I looked down at my hands and realized I was shaking. I wished for the hundredth time I was wearing my normal clothes I would have felt a hell of a lot more confident dressed as me.

I exited the car, thanking Grams for the ride to my dismay she pulled the key out of the ignition and joined me on the curb.

"Um..," I said, looking at her smirking face with concern."What are you doing?"

"I thought I'd walk you into the office," she replied, obviously pleased with herself.

Oh, God. Oh,God. "You really don't have to-"

"I Insist."

Of course she did. she also insisted on grabbing me by the elbow when we crossed the street and her iron grip didn't loosen as we approached the school. The sinking feeling in my stomach was getting worse with each foreboding step.

I could feel the stares as soon as we reached the school entrance and heard the snickers. Not surprising, I guess. How often did you see a grandma dragging a Slug-clad boy through the front doors of your local high school? They all probably thought i was special needs.

"We'll go to the principals office and get your schedule," The old hag explained, as if I were a five year old on his first day of kindergarten I hung my head and prayed for some kind of divine intervention. Maybe i was only dreaming. I'd wake up any second now, a warm bed comforting me, realizing this was all just one big, long, horrid nightmare.

But no such luck.

I was really here.

And the nightmare was my reality.

We stepped through the double doors into a sea of lip glossed barbies and tom brady wannabees I did a double take Kiba warned me this could happen, but I laughed him off surely every high school had some diversity, right?

Evidently wrong.

It was as if I wandered into a living breathing american eagle commercial.

Shudder.

I looked around, desperately trying to pinpoint at least one person who would prefer Hot Topic over Abercombie, but came up empty. Where were the mop headed emo boys and Edward Cullen-worshipping goth girls? Where were the skater kids? The punk rockers?

I felt a lump rise to my throat this was so not good Anger burn in my gut. Stupid mom for leaving dad, maybe if mom wasn't in such a hurry to skip town, they could have gotten counseling or something. worked it out then i'd be back in Suna right now, in my old school, laughing with my old friends, without a care in the world.

Instead of rotting away in my current hell.

The sea of kids parted, suddenly, almost diving out of the way. I looked down the newly formed path, raising my sparkling blue eyes to the mystery of the division. Four kids- two boys and two girls- sauntered down the hallway in a way you usually only see in teen movies. Heads high, shoulders back, self-satisfied smirks written across their perfect faces. They might as well have been wearing T-shirts with the word popular scrawled across the front.

"Who are they?" I wondered aloud, forgetting grams for a moment.

"You must be new," Said a guy who looked almost exactly like one of the four people walking closer to us. The only kid I'd seen so far that even remotely stood out from the rest of the clones. "Thats Konoha highs Royal court. Sasuke, Neji, Ino, And Sakura in that order they pretty much rule the school."

That much was pretty obvious, given the awed stares of the rest of the kids.

I studied the four of them closer. Ino wore a cheerleading outfit. no shock there. Sakura on the other hand was channeling the color pink through every inch of her body, from her cotton candy colored hair to her pristine pink suit, complete with a requisite string of pearls and a dainty white clutch in her well-manicured hand. It should have looked old-fashioned, but the girl totally worked it.

I turned my attention to the two boys Neji had pale eyes, tall and muscular, good-looking, your typical jock meat-head, really, wearing a football jersey with the selves cut off showing his muscular arms and camouflage pants, he had his long brown pulled back into a high ponytail almost mimicking Ino's.

and Sasuke...

My breath hitched as my eyes fell on Sasuke. He was tall too, but lean like a cat, almost, carrying himself with the slinky grace of a model or movie star he had spiked blue black hair and piercing coal eyes, framed by long sooty lashes a chiseled face with perfectly sculpted cheekbones and a full mouth that looked perfectly kissable.

I shivered. utterly Delicious.

Not that it matter, I mean lets face it. Even if I were dressed in my normal clothes and not in slug chic, no one like him would ever go out with someone like me I was a skater kid all the way, not the homecoming king. Besides, I reminded myself as I forced my gaze away from his beautiful face, he was probably dumb and spoiled and used to girls fawning over him good-looking guys usually were especially if they found themselves in the popular clique, as this guy had. I'm sure he would annoy the hell out of me the second he opened his mouth.

Still, I had to admit, there was something about him...

I realized the four of them had stopped in front of me. Oh, Joy. Time to be sized up and judge by the popular clique. This day was getting more and more like a bad after-school special every minute After the commercial break, i'd probably start drinking and doing drugs, just to fit in only to have my best friend die and my mother convince me to head to rehab and restart my life, friendless, sober, and alone, and strangely happy and peaceful about it all.

"Nice shirt." Ino sniffed, giving me a once over.

"Yeah I think my five-year old sister had one just like it." Sakura added snottily

"Leave the boy alone," Neji said with a smirk. "Its obvious he's sluggish to your comments." he cracked up at his own lame joke. "Get it? sluggish? Like the Slug on his shirt?" he high fived Sasuke, who seemed a bit reluctant to slap his hand back or maybe it was just my imagination.

in the meantime, the hallway erupted in laughter and jeers, totally egging him on I could feel my face burning with humiliation as I stared at my feet wishing to be anywhere in the world but here. I couldn't believe it two minutes into my new school year and i was already the class joke.

I suddenly realized grams was squinting at Neji intently at first I thought she might be considering coming to my aid. but her face lit up and she squealed, "Neji? Neji Hyuuga? is that you?" to my new arch nemesis.

I cringed. i had no idea what was coming, but i knew it couldn't be good.

sure enough Neji stiffened. "Hi Tsunade-sama," he mumbled out of the corner of his mouth I cocked my head in question the two of them knew each other? A split second later grams had let go of my hand to crush Neji into a tight embrace. Guess so.

"Oh Neji!," she crowed, releasing him from the hug."Its so good to see you! you're grown up now last time I saw you, you were four feet tall and still wetting the bed!"

laughter broke out among the crowd and Neji's face darkened to a beet red. This could not be happening. The old hag just embarrassed one of the most popular kids in the school on my first day...

Neji whirled around to face the crowd. "Shut up!" he growled. "She'd lying I swear."

Was it too late to pretend the old hag had alzheimer's and had just wandered into school by mistake? absolutely no relation to me whatsoever?

"Neji, this is my Grandson Naruto."

Evidently it was .

She shoved me forward having no idea about the scene she was causing, "Naru-chan do you remember Neji from back when you were little? He used to live down the street I babysat him while his mother was at work."

I stared at Neji. He stared back at me, his face a mixture of humiliation and fury. I read his expression clear as day I would be the one who would pay for this public embarrassment and I would pay dearly after all, the others might have eventually forgotten my fashion faux pas, but Neji would never forget this.

"Come on Granny," I said, steering her toward the door marked 'main office', "I need to get my schedule."

"come on Granny," Neji mocked in a high pitched voice as the elderly woman turned away, "Lets go home and play with slugs."

I glared at him my blue eyes burning fiercely into his skull, wanting nothing more than to smack him upside the head and wipe that ugly smirk off his face But what good would it do really? There was no winning for me in this situation and I knew it so I sucked up my pride and turned away following the old hag into the office where she was talking to to a secretary. "I think you're all set now, brat" she declared handing me a slip of paper," I've done my Grandmotherly duties now you behave yourself on your first day." I sighed and took the schedule. "Thanks Granny." I said.

"Have a great day brat, and I'll see you at the house tonight." stepping out into the hall, she called out," I'll even make your favorite foxy woxy cookies."

ah yes, the foxy woxy cookies i liked back when i was six years old.

"Bye Granny." I said resigning myself to my fate of school loser.

I reluctantly stepped into the hallway and faced the masses again.

"Aren't you going to say good-bye to Grandma?" Ino was teasing Neji, nudging him in the ribs He glowered at her.

"Shut up," he growled, "I don't even know who that crazy loon was."

"She certainly seemed to know you."

"Neji wets the bed. Neji wets the bed.," Sakura chimed in, in a singsong voice.

"SHUT UP!" Neji screamed. He met my eyes with his, furious and full of hatred, "you are so dead, Slug boy." He muttered under his breath then he pushed by me and into the crowd , which parted for him as it did before his gang following him, still giggling. Sasuke lagged behind, Glancing backwards He caught my eye and gave a sheepish shrug and a beautiful smile as he mouthed the word 'sorry'. Then he and his friends turned the corner and disappeared.

I stared after them, stunned by Sasuke's apology. I had so not expected that maybe he was different from his friends Not that it mattered. Nice or not, he was way out of my league and I knew it.

Still He was so sexy. So, so sexy.

"Wow, way to make a first impression dickless." said a voice to my right as the crowd dispersed I looked over to see the Sasuke look alike. He wore a black turtle neck, dark blue jeans, and thick black glasses over his coal eyes. very hipster-nerd chic., "I'm Sai," he said holding out a hand, "And you, naru-chan have just embarrassed the most powerful kid in schoool."

"I didn't say anything." I protested weakly, knowing that it didn't matter I was Guilty by association, and while Neji couldn't retaliate against the old hag, he could and would make my life horrible. I just knew it. "This is so not how i wanted my first day to begin."

"Eh, It's really not about you, you know those guys hate pretty much everyone not in their immediate social circle and that means ninety-five percent of the school. Funny, when you consider that same ninety-five percent loves them and worships the ground they walk on."

I made a face, "well, not me, count me in for hating the haters, thank you very much." Except maybe Sasuke he was different but I wasn't about to admit that to Sai.

"The Haters."Sai chuckled "that's a fitting name actually." the Bell rang, cutting him off. "Gotta get to class,"he said winking at me. "See you around dickless and don't let the haters get you down."

well then... now its up to you. please Review.

for some reason i just imagine tsunade would be an incredibly evil grandma with out even realizing she was making things worse.

WHATS NOT TO LOVE ABOUT SLUGS?

I will wait for people to leave reviews before posting the next chapter. This lets me know if anyone is interested in the story and if there are no reviews then the story shall not continue.