No Gods and No Masters

by chapa3

A routine assignment to capture a runaway demon turns into a living nightmare, as Kurama and Yusuke get sent through a dimensional portal. Waking up in the Capital Wasteland with their Ki depleted, Yusuke and Kurama come to terms with their new home. The two go on to carve out a life for themselves in a world with No Gods and No Masters. (Note: Eventual bisexual themes).

1. The Smell of Fallout in the Afternoon

AN: Second Yu Yu Hakusho crossover that I'm starting, going to be more serious then the other one. Yusuke and Kurama are in their mid-20s in this story. Enjoy.

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Dirt in my face, hands feel scraped. It got in my mouth, a heavy wind blew by, eh nasty, like a plastic bag flying into your face at a bus stop. I spit it out and look around…what…the…fuck…

What the fuck happened to Japan…oh Jesus fucking Christ…all I remember was that dimension sphere thing, that Kuwabara once fell into, twice, I remember that demon outside Saitama spin it out. I remember…yeah, I fell into it…and…

"KURAMA!" I yell out. Please for fucks sake, man, please be nearby or something. I don't want to trek through miles of this…did someone nuke Saitama?! I'm standing next to a burnt out tire, half submerged in a gray, dirty puddle. I look around, rocks with dead weeds growing around them. Shit, I'm on some bombed out highway, the ramp up ahead knocked into rubble, this weird convertible wreck lying below a tall-ass shattered overpass. I turn around and my fucking God…rows upon rows of hollowed out buildings, like something from the Fist of the North Star cartoons. Whole planet looks like it died and is decomposing. Not even fucking Chernobyl or Baghdad could look like this.

"KURAMA!" I yell. Damnit fox boy! "Kurama! Say something!" "Yusuke!" I hear in the distance…there, some water tower. I climb over some rusted steel railing, take a glance at a traffic sign. Hm…it's in English, worn out but readable…'SPEED LIMIT 50'. 50 KPH? This doesn't look like any highways I know of in Japan, unless Shintaro Ishihara really pulled a dick move while we were floating through that sphere.

"Yusuke!" I hear again. I pull up my blue jeans, adjust my black leather belt, and tug on my grey boat shoes. I roll back the sleeves on my white leisure shirt and I start jogging to that water tower. I walk around some dead trees, like Chernobyl dead. Going around the pile of boulders…up a hill, down a hill…and there he is. Kurama, dressed in his brown slacks, black loafers, and red and white checkered collared shirt, got his right foot tangled on the barbed wire of the fence around the water tower. Fox boy's hanging upside down like a piñata.

I jump down and ask "Tried to jump from the top?" Kurama fidgets and says "I wouldn't begrudge some help right now. And to answer your question, no. I came to my senses in this position." Alrighty, fence ain't too tall, careful not to gouge the skin…there we go. He falls onto his knees and elbows, and then gets back up, saying "Thank you." No problem man, now here's the money question.

"Where the fuck are we?" I ask. Kurama frowns and says "If that dimension sphere is similar to Suzuki's, then I cannot answer with any degree of certainty. I recall him mentioning, all those years ago in the Dark Tournament, that the dimension sphere could quite literally transport us across, well, dimensions. Time and space stands irrelevant to the maneuver." "So we ended up in Kenshiro's playground? What the fuck man?" Kurama smirks and says "Perhaps." He then frowns as he realizes how fucking screwed we are if that's the case. I kinda like having certain luxuries like electricity and cable and oh I don't know CLEAN FUCKING WATER!

I put my hands behind my head and stretch back…place is kinda hot. Like Yokohama in the summer, a wet, humid heat. Sky looks weird…like it's…greenish or some shit. Pale and greenish.

Kurama suddenly asks "Can you fire your spirit gun?" Eh? "Why?" Kurama says "Just try it." He got this worried look on his face. Alright…I point at the fucked up half collapsed overpass and say "By popular request."

"I said…by popular request."

My Ki's gone, man. It's…gone. Like, just enough to breathe and move around, but…oh we got problems.

I turn to Kurama and ask "Rose whip not working either? Seeds too?" He says "If they were, I would not have required help removing my foot from the barbed wire." "So, we are living in some fallout crater with no demon energy, no spirit energy, no fucking nothing." "That seems about right," Kurama blankly says.

Oh we got some problems, man.

We start walking around the fence, toward the burnt out remains of some neighborhood. Like some wildfire came through and gutted the houses from the inside out, charring the exterior walls. "This is most concerning," Kurama says. "Water is also wet. Got any other breaking news?" I snarl.

"HALT! FRIENDLY!" I hear someone behind us yell and woah man! I raise my hands as Kurama takes a step back from the four eyed guy in some blue pajamas, aiming a weird looking pistol at us. Something tells me I shouldn't believe him, might be the fucking gun he's pointing at us with. Yeah, might be that. I yell "Easy man! We're just tourists!" Guy puts his gun into some side holster and walks toward us. He's got tinted eyeglasses and high cheekbones. A long, pointy Antonio Inoki chin and a crooked nose. Long black hair cut just above his shoulders and chin stubble. Guy looks Asian but not East Asian, kinda like a Kazakh or one of those mixed race guys from Russia. Kinda short, like a few inches taller than Hiei.

He flinches and turns around, drawing his gun again. His blue jumpsuit got the numbers '101' sewed in yellow dye on the back. The guy turns around, holsters his gun once again, and asks "Who are you two?" He got an American accent, like the kind you hear from news anchors in the Hollywood movies. Like almost a country twang but the same time, not quite there yet. Voice is kinda deep, frantic. Pissed off. Something along those lines.

I say "Yusuke Urameshi." Kurama takes a step forward and says "Shuichi Minamino." Jumpsuit guy says "Walter Joseph Karamazov." "What's with the pajamas, Walt?" I ask. Walter suddenly remembers to breathe, exhales, and then says "I…it is a very long story." Kurama speaks out "We would we satisfied with just the highlights."

Walter puts his hands on his knees, leans a bit, and then anxiously nods. He says "Alright, the highlights...I live…lived…no longer live…in Vault 101. A closed community…we were raised with the belief that the outside world died in the nuclear holocaust of 2077."

Wait what?

What?

What the fuck?!

"Hold on…did you just fucking say 2077?" He gives us a look and says "Yes, I thought it was common knowledge outside the vault, seems the Great War created more regression in collective knowledge then Edwin Brotch believed. No offense." "What are you talking about?" I ask. Mr. 101 is talking in tongues here.

He looks at us, gives us a raised eyebrow, and then asks "What year do you think this is?" I say "2006, right? Well, originally. So what, it's 2077 now?" "2277, two hundred years after the Great War," Walter says. I turn to Kurama and his facial expression says it all. It's as if a stray nuke flew through the dimension sphere we rode on and just smacked us in the heads.

Kurama asks "Who caused the Great War? What triggered it?" Walter says "From our limited history books, biased and edited likely, Communist China triggered it by invading Alaska for the American oil reserves. America sent troops through the newly annexed State of Canada to push China out, and then sent forces into the Chinese Mainland. Then, according to Mr. Brotch and our books, the Chinese launched their nuclear missiles. America retaliated with their own arsenal. Though at this point, looking back at our dictatorial vault leader, I wouldn't put it past him to edit the books themselves, possible nationalistic slant. A theory, unable to investigate now, though. There was a cult of personality in Vault 101, that bastard Alphonse Almodovar."

"Who's he?" I ask, moving toward a rock to sit on. Walter and Kurama follow my lead and sit next to me. Walter sighs and says "The Overseer, whom until an hour or so ago, was our God. My…father escaped the vault, somehow, I didn't even know that it was possible. His assistant, his friend, my friend…Jonas Palmer, they beat him to death…I had to kill my way through the security…most of them being the parents of the people I grew up with…John Kendall, Stevie Mack, Paul Hannon Sr., Orson Park, Paddy O'Brien…damn it…"

"Why the fuck would this Alphonse guy care that your daddy ran off?" I ask. Walter looks up and says "Violation of Vault 101 law, punishable by death, though the real reason remains a mystery. Power trip perhaps? Amata helped me escape…his daughter, that bastard was going to have Stevie shoot her…" Kurama asks "His daughter, did I hear you correctly?" Walter nods and says "And my closest childhood friend. She…sealed the doors behind me. As far as they are considered, I am a ghost. I only wish that the bastard isn't hurting Amata now…dad…he's gone. I'm trying to find him. Try to…make sense of this, Jonas' death, the riot…"

Kurama says "We are trying to find…well…we…" I see him tripping on his words, not often do I see fox boy tongue-tied. Walter asks "Where you two from? A vault like me?" Kurama suddenly says "Yes. Yes! We are from an island far away, born and raised in a vault, though not sure if it matches the one you lived in. Apparently one with false records and history books." Oh, okay I get it. Don't want to make this guy's head explode by going into dimensional demon physics. Might give him a reason to shoot us, just to spare the headache.

Walter says "Interesting. Well, I downloaded some data from Alphonse's computer before I escaped. Also looted what I could take." I suddenly notice that he has a sack tied around his waist. Walter unties the sack and opens it…a bunch of crap…nice! There we go! Some pistols, riot police armor, helmets. "Can you bum us the pistols? We're on your side here," I say, hoping the guy doesn't freak out. He gives us a look and says "If we run into trouble, I will give you a pistol. For now, just take these lead pipes, should do fine against any radroaches." Kurama nod and says "Fare enough, thank you." We each grab a lead pipe, rusty looking, one of them got this greenish blood on it. I ask "Radroach? What's that?" Walter smiles and says "Cockroaches the size of computer monitors. Some of the files also mentioned giant ants." Great, just great, we stumbled into a nuclear freak show.

Walter rubs his chin hairs and says "Over to the southeast, there is this city called Megaton. At least, according to the files I downloaded onto my Pip-boy." "Pip-boy?" Kurama asks. Walter nods and says "I take it that your vault did not have any. It is a helpful interface that stores files downloaded from computers, displays vitals, time, serves as a flashlight, and contains a rough map of the area. Very useful for surveying, I'd imagine." Pip-boy…who names this crap?

"So what's this place?" I ask. Walter shakes his head and says "This neighborhood of burnt out homes? Not a fathomable clue. Perhaps we could find out in Megaton. Follow me, and keep close. I want to pick through a few of these burnt out homes for anything useful." Alright, probably a good idea. I look at Kurama and he gives me a nod.

"You got it, Walter," I say. Walter ties the sack up and pulls it around his back, and then asks "If I may, what island were you referring to?" Kurama says "Japan. Where are we? Not the specific location I mean. I am asking for the general area. Russia? America? Canada?" Walter 'hms' and asks "You do not know how you got here?" Kurama nervously says "Er, not quite. We were on a ship at one point, and then suddenly, we found ourselves here. We were unconscious." Walter says "So sea travel still exists and we are near water…good to know. Very good to know." Here's hoping that is the case, for more reasons than one. Walter looks up at the sky and says "We are in what's left of Northern Virginia. In the east, there used to be Washington D.C. I have no idea what's there now, likely a giant graveyard." So we are in America. Virginia. Post-apocalyptic Virginia. 271 years into the future. Suddenly, I really want that pistol in that sack.

We approach the first house on the right, a mailbox in front. Kurama pulls it down and says "I found a packet of cigarettes." Who stuffs freaking cigs into a mailbox? Walter says "Hold onto it, might be useful. I'm not sure what passes for currency here. Who knows, maybe it's the cigarettes themselves."

I climb through a burnt out window and step over a bathtub. And there it is, the first skeleton. "Poor bastard must have been burned to a crisp from the nuclear flash. Ain't a single thread left on him," I say. Kurama enters the rubble and says "Or it may be due to the corpse decaying for two hundred years." Yeah, yeah, very funny.

I turn and walk toward a fridge, maybe Indiana Jones is hiding inside. Opening…hm, some Spam, potato chips, microwavable Salisbury steak. I yell "Found food here, probably irradiated though." Walter yells "I doubt we have the opportunity to be picky. Take what you can carry." I nod and say "Alright…we need some kind of cloth or something to carry this crap around."

Kurama walks over to a broken down cabinet and lifts the rotting cabinet door open. He says "I found some clothing, dirty but surprisingly intact. One second." He unfurls a beige shirt and starts tying up the sleeves. I grab the food from the fridge and walk up to Kurama, dropping the loot onto the shirt. Kurama throws his newly found pack of cigarettes in and yells "Found anything, Walter?!" Walter, in the burnt up house across the street, yells "Just some empty whiskey bottles! Tin cans, garbage!"

Whole place looks like one giant dump, ain't all that surprising to me. Kurama ties up the makeshift sack and carries it with his left hand, lead pipe in his right. No sign of any roaches or ants yet…why is Walter waving at us like his ass is on fire? Guy suddenly goes prone on the burnt wooden floor.

We run up to him and hear him whisper "Get down now…!" "Why?" Kurama asks. I look to the left and past the half missing wall, squint my eyes, and then immediately shove Kurama to the ground with me. Walter whispers "You saw them?" I crawl to the edge of the wall. Gripping my lead pipe, I look up and through a square hole. Three of them, looking like they just came from a tanning salon or a Fist of the North Star episode. I say "Three, one girl in pigtails, one guy with a spiked Mohawk, the other bald. They're packing some kind of rifles." Kurama sighs and motions at Walter's sack. Walter nods and says "Here, quietly. Let's not attract a swarm."

He quietly unties the sack as someone yells "Who the fuck's out there?!" Guy's voice is raspier then a crackhead's. "They don't sound friendly," Walter says. "No, they don't," I say, running out of sarcastic things to reply to that nugget of fucking wisdom.

We trade our lead pipes for these weird pistols. Walter says "Both are full loaded, twelve 10mm rounds in each. Try not to miss, for I'm low on ammunition." I start breathing faster and say "Got it man, got it." Kurama stares at his pistol like it's in braille or something. "Ever shot from one of those things?" I ask Kurama. He frowns and crawls on his stomach, saying "From a crossbow. I'm not sure this is the same." "Same idea, point with the front," I say, hearing Kurama nervously laugh to himself. This is really happening.

Walter leans at the corner of what's left of the living room, lying on his right shoulder, looking up. Kurama and I are a few feet away, on our stomachs, our pistols resting on the floor, in our right hands. I hear the woman yell "Come out, we don't bite! Much!" A third guy yells "We got water, man. We're looking for someone to share with!" I hear something panting nearby, sounds like a dog. "We got a feral one, boys!" the woman yells. I hear the dog bark and snarl, and then *BANG* and a whimper, followed by two more gunshots.

The guy who spoke first, he yells "Told you it wasn't shit! No fucking wastelander's stupid enough to walk this close to Springvale." The other guy yells "Don't call me a fucking liar, Trevor, I heard some asshole speak." I hear the lady say "Must be all that jet you been smoking, Danny-boy. You want to hit caps, take down one of the caravans heading to Megaton. Only the dogs are retarded enough to walk around Declan's turf. Now go check the east side, we still need two more fuckers for the dig job." "Yeah, yeah," I hear Danny-boy say.

After a tense few minutes, Walter heaves a sigh and says "So they do exist. Raiders, the Overseer's files call them. We can't get to Megaton fast enough. Alright, if you were with those people, you would have shot me on sight. I will trust you two, for now, and only out of necessity. Do not betray my trust." "I appreciate the gesture," Kurama says, climbing to his knees, 10mm pistol in his right hand. He ties his mini sack around his waist and speaks "It's too dangerous to remain here." Walter nods and ties up his sack of toys, saying "No need to repeat yourself. Let's move fast before that patrol comes back."

The three of us get up, get out of the burnt out house, and turn left on what's left of the asphalt. We pass a small playground on the left, and a burnt out convertible on the right, followed by another burnt out house. We approach what's left of a gas station, this weird rocket on top of a platform.

"Red rocket," Kurama says, reading the label on top. To our left, more burnt out houses, plus an intact, single floor one on the near left, probably where those 'raiders' are shacking up. Walter points his pistol at a rusted sign. Sign has the phrase 'MEGATON' spray painted in yellow, with an arrow pointing to the right.

"At least this means we are going in the right direction," Kurama says, wiping sweat off his forehead. No kidding. I frown a bit and say "We're a little exposed here, guys. Let's save the sightseeing for the city." "Right," Walter says.

Tumble weed rolls down the asphalt as we sidestep another car wreck and go up the hill. Another spray painted sign points us to the right, and I think I see the walls of the city. A patchwork of car and plane parts, I'm guessing, I think I see a lookout on top. I hear footsteps, Kurama and Walter reacts to them too…a cow mooing? Eh?

We turn the corner of a large boulder and come face to face with a tall black guy clad in grey leather armor with brown shoulder pads, with black buzzcut hair, holding some knockoff IMI Galil Assault Rifle, a white guy with long black hair dressed in baggy camos and a survival vest, and a…two headed red cow with sacks all over its back. A two headed fucking cow. Like George Carlin said, we got the front row tickets to the freak show.

"FRIENDLY!" Walter yells again. Something tells me that's going to bite him in the ass one day. Black guy aims his rifle down its sights and says "Hands where I can see them. Here to trade? Holster the pistols and speak with Wolfgang." Deeper accent then Walter, kinda Southern-ish like Walt's. Kurama and Walt lower their pistols. White guy says in accent-less English "I think they won't be trouble, Peter." Guy turns to us and says "Welcome to Crazy Wolfgang's Emporium. I'm Crazy Wolfgang, and I provide nothing but the highest quality leftover crap that I scavenge on the road." I hear Walt say "Walter Joseph Karamazov. This man is Yusuke Urameshi, the other is Shuichi Minamino. We are looking for Megaton and a place to sell off our wares. Seems like we found both."

Wolfgang says "If you're looking for fission batteries, I got a couple from Moira Brown, the general goods merchant over there. Pressure cookers? Cherry bombs? You could build a couple of IEDs, take out some raiders." I say "We're here to sell. Got cash?" Wolfgang looks at us and asks "Cash? Pre-war cash? I got some but no one here uses that as currency. I got Nuka-Cola bottle caps, that's what we use here in the Capital Wasteland." Peter the bodyguard says "We should move back to the gates if we're going to do this. Declan's boys been getting bold lately, and we are way too close to Springvale." Kurama says "I second that."

So this is Megaton, one giant gated city made of junk. That lookout keeps staring us down with his rifle, gives me the creeps. I give him the finger and yell "Take a picture, it will last longer!" The guy laughs and yells "I can piss on you from here!" Dickhead. By the gates, some weird butt plug shaped robot beeps "Welcome…to…Megaton. Coldest whiskey…in the wastes...no loitering…" Wolfgang unties a pouch hanging from the two headed cow, apparently called Brahmin here. I bet somewhere up in the sky, a Sikh is laughing his ass off. I hear the jingle and clang of bottle caps, so the people here actually use them for money. So he ain't trying to rip us off. If only I stole Kuwabara's dumbass collection before I fell through that demon's sphere with fox boy. Twenty-five years old and collecting fucking soda caps, what a dweeb. Here's hoping Kuwabara and shorty took care of the demon prick afterwards…shit…

There's got to be a way back, right? I mean, so what if we got no Ki here, my Spirit Detective watch will ring up Koenma, or Yama, or Botan, right? They exist here, right?

I look at my Spirit Detective watch, for the first time, with total fucking fear. C'mon Yusuke, this ain't something new…yeah…Kuwabara could cut through dimensions for fun, why can't fox boy and I pull it off?

I'm going to see them again, Keiko, Kuwabara, Hiei, Botan, Japan. I'm going to…I just gotta…relax man. Relax.

"Yoo-skay?" I hear Wolfgang say, like he's unsure if he's saying my name right. I say "Yeah?" I turn to Walter and see that his sack suddenly got a whole lot emptier. He now got a coin purse of some kind jingling with bottle caps, the purse tied around his yellow jumpsuit belt. Wolfgang asks "You got anything for me?" I turn to Kurama and motion at the small sack full of food and cigarettes. Kurama looks at me, and then at the sack, and then asks "Out of curiosity, how much for a box of microwavable steak?" Wolfgang says "I got none with me. If you're talking about selling, I'd give you three caps." "And a pack of cigarettes?" "Nine caps. Won't get better deals with Moira in Craterside Supply or with the Stahls at the Brass Lantern." I take it those are the businesses they got in Megaton.

I say "Kurama, let's keep the smokes and the food. Don't seem like stuff I'd go and sell in a post-nuclear wasteland." Wolfgang says "Your call. By the way, name is Yusuke, right?" I say "Yeah, pronounced like that." He extends his black mitt covered right hand. I shake it as he says "Wolfgang Haas." He extends his hand to Kurama and asks "Shuichi Minamino?" "Correct," Kurama says, shaking Wolfgang Haas' hand. He turns to Walter and says "I already remember you name." Walt and Wolfgang shake hands as Wolfgang says "If you ever get your hands on some serious salvage, wait for my caravan here. I make almost daily trips, and I will beat any price Moira would give. Just don't tell her that, or she would get sad and accidently set herself on fire or kiss a mole rat or something. Lady is a bit weird."

"Got it," Walter says. Peter just gives us a wary look as he, Wolfgang, and the two head cow head back down the ramp. The robot beeps out "Thirsty? Try…Moriarty's…saloon. Cold scotch...warm beds…moist Nova."

We knock on the gates, well Walt and I, Kurama got his hands full with a sack of food and cigs in one hand and a pistol in the other. After a pause, the massive gates creek open. This…is a city? Looks like one of those villages in the Democratic Republic of Congo that I saw in the Nat Geo magazines, houses made of car doors and tin roofs. Place looks completely made out of salvage. A black guy with a thick dark beard, a light brown cowboy trenchcoat, and a black cowboy hat with the rims folded up, walks up to us with a Type 56 Chinese Assault Rifle.

He says in a deep American John Wayne-style accent "Well I be damned. More newcomers, three of them." Walter blurts out "We're friendly, don't worry. Your lookout watched us trade with Wolfgang Haas, he can vouch for our civility." Cowboy guy eyes Walter and says "I'll ask Stockholm myself, see what he got to say about that. Name's Lucas Simms, town sheriff. And mayor, when the need arises. From what I see, I got a good feeling about you three, and I'm usually good with my feelings. So, welcome to Megaton. We got food down by the crater at the Brass Lantern, good place to kick your feet up and talk business. If you three need anything, just holler at me."

Pfft, this guy, what is this? High Noon? I let out a laugh and say in a fake Texas accent "Is that you...John Wayne? Is this me?" Lucas Simms turns to me and says "Oh, we got a joker here? Just remember, treat my people nice and fair, and you could make all the wisecracks you want. Steal or hurt anyone outside of self-defense, and it's a long way down from the top of the gate." Easy there, buddy. Kurama says "My apologies. My name is Shuichi Minamino, my friend here is Yusuke Urameshi. This other gentleman is Walter Joseph Karamazov. We are just here for temporary housing and a place to collect our bearings. Here." Kurama sticks his pistol in his belt…not exactly the smartest way to go about that. He extends his right hand as Simms adjust his rifle sling until his Type 56 hangs on his back. Simms shakes Kurama's hand and says "Friendly AND well-mannered. You, I like." Lucas turns to Walter and gives him a stare. Walter holsters his pistol and says "I am just here for information."

Simms shakes Walter's hand and says "Try the Brass Lantern, Andy or Jenny Stahl could help. There's also Colin Moriarty, he owns the saloon in the upper deck. Just, take my advice, don't trust a word that guy says. The man would slit his own mother's throat for 50 caps and a handjob." He turns to me. I raise my left hand and say "Relax, message received. I won't cause any trouble." "Good," Simms says. Walter blurts out "I'm looking for my father. He should have come here in either a jumpsuit like mine or a lab coat. His name is James Karamazov." Lucas Simms' right cheek creases a bit as he says "Maybe. I think he went to Moriarty's saloon." Walter nods and says "Thank you."

Simms turns his back to us and says "Follow me, I'll give you the quick tour." The three of us head down the sloped hill, water pipes on each side. One of them is leaking. Simms points at a large, patchwork building on the left and says "The Brass Lantern, run by the Stahls. They make good Brahmin steak, and they're always stocked with Nuka-Cola." Sheriff Simms then points to the right. Another two headed cow moos in front of a grey shack with some faded white poster, a dirt covered white guy with scruffy brown hair sitting next to the cow, wearing a white shirt and brown pants lifted up by suspenders. Lucas Simms announces "That's the clinic, run by Doc Church. The man's a bit rough around the edges, but a wizard when it comes to surgery. Can't even count the number of times he pulled bullets out of someone's stomach, and he even does radiation cleansing and detox. Now up in front is Megaton's famous eye sore…"

"A fucking atom bomb?!" I curse as Kurama and Walter flinch and take a step back. Kurama anxiously says "Please tell me it's inert." Simms laughs and says "Hasn't blown up for two hundred years. Water is pretty irradiated so don't drink it. And don't touch the damned thing, last idiot who did that got the religion beaten out of him by half the town." "Trust me Lucas, I ain't touching that shit with a ten foot pole," I say, staring at the group of weirdos crowding the nuke. They are dressed in rags, almost medieval European peasant clothes. An old white guy in rags, buzzcut with greyish blonde hair and with a large but thin greyish blonde beard, stands knee deep in the muck and rants about 'Atom's glow.'

Walter asks "Who is the idiot?" Lucas laughs and says "Confessor Cromwell, head of the local cult, the Church of Atom. That two level building with the hazard sign, up that ramp? That's their church. Don't worry, they're harmless, hell, they helped build the damned town. We let the guy preach during the day and he has his people work logistics, repairs, sometimes slaughtering the Brahmin."

We stand in front of the counter of the Brass Lantern, I see some sign in Chinese, kinda make the words out to say 'Megaton'. Nice touch there. A blonde white woman in a yellow jumpsuit waves and says "Hey there Simms." "Jenny," Simms says, nodding at her. Guess that's Jenny Stahl. Lucas motions us closer and then points at some globe-looking building with the letters 'SUPPLY' hanging above the globe on thin spears. He says "That's Craterside Supply. Moira Brown runs it, she sells pretty much everything, including guns and ammunition. Makes and repairs weapons too, good person to know. Pretty eccentric though, try not to get sarcastic with her. It flies way over her head." Lucas then points at the wooden sign way above and behind the cult church and says "See that sign that says Moriarty's Saloon? I'd give you zero caps if you guess what that is. To the left is the Common House, temporary lodging. First come first serve, so if you want to reserve a bed for the night, I recommend you move now. Now if you excuse me, I got a wanted poster to hang by the clinic."

Simms walks away and reaches into his right pocket, pulling out some kind of poster. I turn to Walter and Kurama and ask "What now?" Walter says "I'm going to visit this Moriarty guy, see what he knows. Go reserve a bed at the shelter, perhaps you will overhear something. Good to have multiple ears on the ground." Kurama nods and says "Agreed." I say "Sorry to ask, but got any water? I'm getting thirsty here, I'll pay you back later, trust me."

Walter digs into his back sack and pulls out a plastic water bottle. He hands it me and says "Grabbed a few in my exodus from Vault 101. Make it last, something tells me clean water here is worth its weight in diamonds." "I hear you there," I say, carefully holding the water bottle, scanning it. Yep, looks clean. Walter heads up the ramp to the right of the cult house and says "See you at the Common House." "Farewell," Kurama says.

And now it's just the two of us, alone, in the middle of a glorified junkyard, with a batshit crazy preacher behind us, worshipping an atom bomb that might go off any second now.

I wave my left hand at the far away ramp layered in stairs, catching Kurama's attention. I take the lead, walking past this white guy with a black eyepatch and a white bandana, dressed in a leather jacket with pouches around his neck, a red shirt under the jacket, and blue jeans. He nods at us and says "Hey." I nod at him, hearing Kurama say "Hello" behind me. Kurama walks up to my right side as the sun beats down on my sweaty brow. We head up the stairs. A blonde white woman with a ponytail, dressed in a leather jacket and grey jeans, says "Hi," as we walk past her. "Hey," I say as Kurama says "Greetings." She continues down the ramp as we approach the Common House. Two floors high, with a worn beige couch in front. Okay, first day in this nuthouse and I'm already going to a homeless shelter.

We step inside, close the door behind us, and scan the first floor. Four beds on the left, including a double decker, four on the right, also including a double decker. All got jackets and other crap on them, signaling that they been claimed already, and two of the beds got someone sleeping on them. Two sets of lockers in the far wall, bunch of footlockers on the floor by the beds. Some lanterns…place smells like sweat and piss. Egh.

We turn right and find a shelf with some assorted crap, a plunger, some old stale potato chips, burnt out books. To the right of shelf, a staircase. We head up to the second floor…a fridge, a railing with a full view of the first floor, dining tables, a shack door that's locked, another staircase. Here we go. We reach the third floor, a dining table covered in burnt books and a couple empty coffee mugs, a usable sofa, overturned chairs…a double decker bed, twisted and broken, mattresses still fine, not claimed. This works.

I sit down on the sofa as Kurama pulls his gun out of his belt and sets it on an overturned chair. He grabs one of the mattresses and pulls it off the bed frame, onto the floor. Kneeling on it, Kurama grabs his pistol and moves it to the bed. He then unfurls the sack and offers "Spam?"

I sometimes try to imagine the warning signs that I'm about to be fucked, just to get ready. Kurama offering two hundred year old Spam in a post-apocalyptic homeless shelter was not one I had in mind. "Fuck it, sure," I say, arcing back, stretching against the sofa. I unscrew the cap on my water bottle and take a heavy sip, wetting my throat. Screwing the cap back on, I say "I think I'm going to try contacting Koenma." Kurama pulls the lid off the can of Spam and says "I was about to ask about that." I nod and say "Right…right." "What's stopping you, Yusuke?" Kurama asks.

I don't know. Maybe my reaction if all I get is fuzz?

I heave a sigh and push a button on my Spirit Detective watch.

Nothing. I press again…nothing. No fuzz, nothing, like it's just a watch. I keep pressing, muttering "C'mon pacifier breath, answer…c'mon…c'mon." I steal a glance at Kurama, paleness covering his face like it's Kool-Aid in water. I start mashing the button, mashing, maybe it's jammed, that's it. Maybe he's away, no I'd still get his office…maybe it's broken. Maybe he's gone. Maybe they're gone. Maybe, just maybe, just Buddha's fucking wisdom we are fucked! We are fucked!

"It's…not working man. I'm…shit…sorry man…I don't know what to do," I say, crawling into a fetal position. I mutter "Keiko…Kuwabara…Hiei…Botan…man I don't…oh shit." I hear Kurama whimper and say "I promised Shiori I would bring her natto beans from the grocery…I'm supposed to be at her apartment in…two hours." It's starting to hit him too, like a megaton bomb.

I say "There's gotta be a way back, I mean it can't be a one way street. It can't!" Kurama yells "How?! Our Ki has been all but depleted! Your watch stands completely inert. If this is Human World, Botan would have arrived by now! If this is Demon World, why are there humans?! We are trapped. Buddha's blessing we are trapped! Zinaida, Shiori…I haven't spoken to my step-brother in weeks! Shiori is expecting me…oh no, damn this…I cannot let the last thing I tell my human mother be 'Stop worrying about traffic, goodbye!' Oh Shiori, mother…oh my…"

I hear the guy shaking on the mattress, in shock. Same, man, I'm in the same fallout shelter. Holy shit…I was supposed to get Keiko her birthday gift. She has her 25th birthday in a month…I was going to get her this silver pendant in that Minato Ward jewelers, the one with the pearl stone in middle, I was looking at it for weeks…oh fuck man. Fuck…

I put my hands on my face, let my fingers run up my hair. I'm stuck. We're stuck.

We're never going to see them again. Damn this wasteland to hell. Damn it again and again and a-fucking-gain!

I climb off the sofa and sit down on the mattress with Kurama. He pulls a slab of Spam out with his fingers and bites into it cold, probably got preheated in the fallout. I could see a tear rolling down his cheek. This is fucked, completely fucked.

I reach into the tin of Spam and pull a slab out with my fingers, like Kurama did. I bite in, not even caring that my fingers are dirty, not even caring that it's cold. Tastes so freaking synthetic. I gotta get used to it. To shitting in outhouses, eating irradiated TV dinners, wearing the same clothes, no showers, no brushing teeth, it's like I'm in freaking medieval times.

I'm never going to see my friends again, Keiko again. Never going to eat teriyaki again, or watch another Celtic F.C. game. It's over, it's freaking over man.

I hear Kurama cry through the tears, Spam, and total fucking bullshit of the situation. I hear him say "At least…at least we are not alone here." "At least…man. At least," I say. Fuck, he's right. If we got separated and landed on opposite sides of the country, holy shit would we be screwed.

I hear Kurama gulp down his fake meat and say "A C-class demon..." No shit man. I say "Wanted for killing cow in the country sticks of all freaking crimes. He did what only Yomi could pull off, send me packing. Hell, you too. A goddamn C-Class. I hope Hiei gave that prick the what for, can't let someone like that walk away the champ. Shit…Hiei…I hope he and Kuwabara picked up the spare."

I hear Kurama say "I will…miss them. All of them…it's…such a shock." No shit.

He whimpers and says "I feel human for once, genuinely human. I now understand what the rest of humanity lives through. Fear, shock, frailty…" I say "Haven't even remembered what that felt like for years. Welcome to the club, I guess." He painfully smirks and finishes his slab of Spam, wiping his fingers on the mattress.

We finish the can of Spam, barely talking. Fox boy takes a gulp of water and passes it to me. I sip, washing the salty pork taste down. Sighing, I ask "What now, Kurama?" Kurama rests his back on the mattress and grabs his 10 mm pistol. He scans it, looks down its sights, and says "Find permanent lodging here, somehow. Ask for the cost to establish a permanent residence, perhaps Walter could assist. Ask for any work that needs doing, perhaps this Doctor Church requires an assistant. My knowledge of first aid is limited, but I would wager it to be better than the average survivor of a nuclear apocalypse." I say "I wouldn't be so sure bout that, fox boy. Mother nature had 200 years to kill off the ones with their pants down." Kurama frowns and says "True…true. Still, a world so broken must have a demand for people to fix it. I don't intend to live the rest of my life in a homeless shelter."

"I hear you, Kurama. I hear you…maybe we can pull of a racket like that Wolfgang Haas guy. Salvage junk from wrecks, sell it, get by," I say, frowning, putting the sealed bottle of water down on the floor. I wrap my arms around my legs, back in the fetal position, damn I must look pathetic. I hear Kurama say "Simply 'getting by' in this world remains a very ugly reality. I would rather we do more than just get by." "Got any bright ideas, then?" I ask. Kurama puffs his cheeks and says "Wait, until an opportunity presents itself."

"We're fucked, aren't we?" I ask. Kurama doesn't respond, I take his silence as a yes. I close my eyes and hope whatever God is watching me, that he just gets it over with.

"Yusuke? Shuichi? It's me, Walter!" I hear vault boy yell. "Shut the hell up!" I hear some old guy yell in response. I yell out "We're upstairs, third floor!" Old guy yells "Keep your fucking yappers shut, I'm trying to sleep here!" I yell "Hey jackass, it's like 3 P.M. here! Get up you lazy geezer!" Old fart yells "Back in my day, we used to hang loudmouth outsiders like you! We called it the village sport!" Woah, okay, was not expecting that Ku Klux Klan shit, even in post-nuclear war Virginia.

I see Walter climb up the stairs, his forehead sweating. He says "Moriarty is a pimp, and the saloon is a brothel. The man has information, wants to sell it for a service. One his of prostitutes ran off in the direction of those burnt out homes, Springvale he calls it. He thinks that the one home that is still intact is her hideout. Claims she robbed him of several hundred bottle caps in a business deal gone wrong." Kurama frowns and asks "Are you actually planning to force her back into sex slavery?" Walter raises an eyebrow and says "Actually, he just wants to be made whole, 300 caps. That and a bullet in her skull. Now, I am not sure if she is armed, nor am I comfortable with the raider gang operating in Springvale. Help me along and I will consider it repayment for the water and the loaned pistols. Anything we salvage will be on a 'finders keepers' basis. Deal?"

"Deal," I say almost immediately. I ain't going to spend my whole day in this piss hole. Kurama looks up, wipes something off his eyes, tears I guess, and says "Very well. I will assist you." Walter nods and says "Good, good. Anyone need to pee? Smoke?" Kurama shakes his head. I say "I could save a cigarette for later. After we're done with this loan shark and contract killer gig." Walter raises his arms in protest and says "I am not enjoying this anymore then you are, but I need to know where my father disappeared to. It ranks in importance with food and drink." I stand up and say "Alright, got it Walter. Say, did you hear any work opportunities at the saloon? I doubt this shakedown is going to get us housing here." Walter frowns and whispers "Later, outside. We need to find Lucas Simms. I rather not say anything else, might cause a panic." Heh? Okay there, man, you got my attention.

I take two steps out of the Megaton Common House and go face to chest with this brown plated armor wearing bald fucker. I feel the asshole shove me into Kurama's arms and yell "Touch me again and I'll fuck your faggot ass up." Woah! Buddy, you're pissing in the wrong pot. I yell "Get out of my fucking way and it won't be problem!" The guy, looks a bit Latino, got like maybe a few millimeters of grayish brown hair on his shiny head, got the raspy sounding voice those raiders spoke with, he laughs and says "I shat out turds more dangerous then you three fuckers. Kid, I been putting screws in knees when you were still sucking on your mommy's tits."

This dickhead is playing with fire. I yell "Maybe I'll kick your face in, put that turd theory to the test, dickhead!" I run up to him and OKAY! Hold on! I go face to face with the barrel of a magnum revolver. Yeah, starting to miss the old armor chest plate. Easy there…

Baldy laughs and says "You got balls, kid. I respect that shit. Stay the fuck away from me and you'll live to use them on Nova. Got it, boy?" He holsters the magnum and starts walking away, looking smug, that piece of shit. I give him the finger and yell "Go fuck yourself, cue ball!"

I suddenly feel Kurama's arms pulling me away, dragging me to the railing. He coldly says "My sincerest apologies for my forcefulness, but I must make this point understood. Yusuke, we are not the men we were yesterday, if you somehow forgot. Go on threatening every individual in this town, and we will not live to see the next sunrise." "Easy there, Kurama. Easy…" I say. I hear Walter say "I thought his name is Shuichi." Kurama lets go of me and says "A nickname, between friends." Walter looks behind his shoulder, and then turns back to us, saying "That individual you just had an argument with, I met him in the saloon. He's called Jericho." "Fuckhead looks like a raider," I say. Walter says "He hinted so much in our…conversation would be too nice a word. Anyway, there is a much bigger threat here. Follow me down the stairs."

Reaching the bottom, we see that eyepatch guy sitting on a booth by the Brass Lantern, sipping what looks like one of those glass Mexican bottles of Coca-Cola. A girl, barely ten, if even that, struggles to sit on a booth next to him, long spiky black hair, a mauve tiara looking thing on her head, a pink worn shirt and some brown shorts. Looks East Asian, maybe Chinese. She pokes her left fingers at a kebob of some random meat. Jenny Stahl starts speaking to eyepatch, can't hear what she's saying, Retard Cromwell is drowning her out.

Walter flags down Lucas Simms nailing a wanted poster under the Chinese letters on the Brass Lantern. Walter says "Sheriff Simms." Lucas Simms turns around and says "Howdy." "We need to speak in private," Walter says.

We move behind the Brass Lantern. I scratch my right leg using the slide of my 10mm pistol, going to need a side holster soon. Kurama went back to keeping his pistol in his belt, like some Yakuza thug from a Takeshi Kitano flick. Gotta teach him that that's a pretty stupid thing to do. Lucas clears his throat and says "You have my attention. Speak."

"Are you familiar with the man in weird clothes, Mr. Burke? Lounging in Moriarty's saloon?" Walter asks. Lucas nods and says "Yeah, reserved fella, with the tinted sunglasses and the fedora. Drifted over here a month ago, even paid a serious amount of caps for that shack by the Lantern. What about him?" Walter licks his lips, pauses as if he's thinking of what to say, and then says "That man solicited me for a job." "So?" Lucas says, his cheeks creasing, I'm guessing that's his tell when he's getting uncomfortable. Walter leans forward and whispers loud enough for only us four to hear "He asked me to detonate the bomb." "What?!" Lucas immediately blurts out, matching my and likely Kurama's reaction. When John Wayne checks Walter's face and realizes that I'm the funny one, he says "Bullcrap. Not even raiders would do something like that." Walter says "He seems pretty adamant about it. Sought me out, specifically noted that I don't have roots here."

Lucas rubs his chin beard, looks down, and says "Damn. That reclusive bastard. Thanks for telling me." Walter then anxiously replies "We are currently running an errand for Colin Moriarty, debt collection, does not involve any Megaton residents, I assure you. We should return in a few hours. I advise you to wait for us to return, for there's strength in numbers." Lucas says "I'll take that under advisement." Walter pleads "Please, I am not sure if Moriarty himself is involved. It could be a trap, or a ruse to drawn you into the saloon." Lucas' face turns sour and he says "And yet you three are the one's running an errand for the Irishman himself. Have to say, I'm feeling threatened here." Oh crap. Walter eats his words and says "Please, you said you have a good feeling about us. Trust us. He only wants us to reclaim stolen caps from a runaway prostitute." Lucas Simms raises an eyebrow and says "You talking about Silver? The psycho-amphetamine junkie? He kept yelling at me to send Stockholm, called me a hypocrite for not enforcing his property rights. Stockholm said he saw Silver head toward the Springvale ruins. That was a week ago. Too many raiders, doubt you will even find her corpse. Well if you do bring back the caps, it would get Colin out of what's left of my hair."

Walter nods and says "Definitely. In exchange, would you wait for us? Just keep an eye on Mr. Burke." Lucas smirks and says "Like I said, I'll take it under advisement. But sure, I'll give you three hours. Any later and I'm taking Burke in, with or without you three." Walter says "Deal." Lucas nods and says "Stay safe out there, boys."

Heading down the ramp, passed the first Megaton sign, I finally feel Stockholm's rifle aiming at something besides my back. Guy is getting on my nerves. Interesting perspective, looking down the hill. Looking past that red rocket, I can see the broken down overpass, looking like dominos in suspension. I see the rows of fucked up houses, the ruins of Springfield, Springvale, however it's called. I see the faded mountain ridges, hills, whatever they are, far away, in the background. Like a giant green mist covering them, making it only possible to see the silhouettes. Probably Maryland over there, and then beyond, Pennsylvania, New York. New York City must be a giant-ass crater right now. Probably Philadelphia too. And San Francisco, Miami…Tokyo. Shit…

Sun's starting to make its descent obvious, skies turning a weird orange-green mix. Like it's poisoned or something, and trying to throw up the nastiness. Acid rain still going to be a problem 200 years later? Gotta ask Kurama about that, I'm the dumbass that dropped out of community college.

The three of us step past the red rocket gas station for the first time, breaking new ground. New ground means new bullshit.

"Shuichi, Yusuke, remain calm," Walter says. I see it, like right on fucking cue. A giant ass ant, the size of a bicycle, starts crawling at us, on the broken up asphalt. It's…teeth thing, they're shuddering in and out. These things eat meat? The hell?

Walter pulls a lead pipe out of his sack and says "Stay back. Don't fire, or this ant will be the least of our problems." "No shit," I say. Walter circles the ant, jumps back when the ant lunges at him. He swings the pipe at the ant, making it step back. Ant strafes right and goes in to bite. Gets smacked in the head for the try. Walter then jumps on its back and starts stomping the ant's head in. Its legs twitch a bit, and then stop. Walter pulls his foot out, green in ant juice. He turns to us and says "Shall we?"

"We shall," Kurama says, the three of us heading down the road. The intact house on the left, a burnt out house the right. Before the house on the right, a bus stop with a bench, and a trash can. Kurama pulls the top open, sticks his head inside, sticks it out, and then shakes his head at us. He waves his 10mm pistol at the burnt out house, guess he wants to run some salvage.

I run up to him, Walter checking the rear. We step in, floors a mess, debris everywhere, all garbage. Broken metal, burnt wood, that kind of crap. Kurama spots some wooden cabinet, doors kicked in. He approaches it and pulls it open. I whisper "Found anything?" He takes a clear bottle out and says "Empty." He places it back in as I approach the big gap in the wall by the cabinet.

"Springvale Elementary School," I say. I count three, maybe four floors, place looks gutted, the roof blown off. I think I see…SHIT!

I grab Kurama and pull him to the ground, whispering "They got their own Stockholm there. Saw a rifle poking out a window." Kurama frowns and sighs, saying "The intact building then. Nothing to salvage here." I nod and motions Walter to stay still. Kurama and I carefully crouch and move out of view of the elementary school. School used to just piss me off, never expected it to scare me shitless. Even before the car accident.

The three of us approach the house across the street, this time Walt in the lead, and Kurama watching the flank. Walt, bending his knees a bit, pistol in his right arm, curls his left arm into a fist. He looks like he's about to knock, and then stops. I can almost hear his heart beating. Guy's worried about a junkie. If those raiders come knocking, we are in real shit.

Walter moves his left hand to the doorknob and slowly twists it. Door's unlocked. Either the hooker is batshit insane or…well I don't want to think about that. Vault boy looks at us, nods, and then quickly twists the door open, moving in. I funnel right behind him, Kurama behind me, his left hand on my back for direction and support.

"The fuck are you?!" I hear some lady yell in a nasally southern drawl, still moving through the doorway. I get in and find a blonde white woman in a pink jacket and beige cargo shorts, holding a knife in her right hand, leaning her back against a kitchen counter. She's looking down and to the left…see it, a Smith & Wesson looking revolver on a dining table, next to a coffee mug and a coffee pot.

"Easy there, don't do anything stupid," I say. Kurama funnels in behind me, and immediately sees the revolver. I can feel him inching toward it. Walt sees that and shakes his head a bit, looking for the peaceful route. If there is one here. Lady, I'm guessing she's Silver, she says "You Declan's people? Move in and I'll cut y'all throats, I ain't going without taking one of y'all with me." She got pock marks all over her face, like a meth head picking at her skin. Guess that's what psycho really is.

Kurama says all diplomatically "We are on the behalf of Colin Moriarty, your former employer." Silver looks at Kurama like she ate something bad and says "Him? I ain't going back! I made a deal with the guy, hell I even slept with the creep to make it official. I'm retired now, stay back!" Colin sounds like a real sleaze ball. Walter inches a bit forward and says "He wants the 300 bottle caps you stole. Says you promised to set up a narcotics pipeline." Silver inches closer to the revolver, real close. Kurama moves his pistol to his left hand, guessing he's going to play slapjack for the six shooter.

Silver anxiously says "I ain't stole nothin' from no one. The Irish bastard is lying, the caps are my share, got it? Mine!" She's starting to sound high, going to be a bitch to negotiate with. I ask "You on something now?" "Coming down, asshole. Why you think I screw for caps? Moriarty reneges, says I can't leave. I took my share and ran. Now get out before I cut you."

Kurama lunges for the revolver, smacking his right hand on it, shielding it. Silver lunges at Kurama with the knife, Walt grabs her right wrist, pushes her arm down. Knife buries itself an inch away from Kurama's hand. He grabs the revolver and now's rocking the duel wield look, while Silver yells "Get off!" Walter slips his hands around her arms, got her in the full nelson.

I yell "Shut up you crazy bitch! Want to get the raiders to show up?! They ain't friendly like us!" "Screw you!" Silver grunts out. Kurama looks at me and mutters "Shh! You're not helping." Kurama hands me the revolver, I take it with my free left hand, and move the pistol to my left and the revolver to my right. Kurama then grabs the knife, pulls it out, and says "Moriarty also asked us to kill you on sight. We haven't. All we want are the bottle caps. Three hundred to satisfy the debt, and something extra to buy our silence." Fox boy gets slyer by the day. He went all Yoko Kurama just now. Well, maybe not, from the stories I heard. If he did go full Yoko Kurama, there would be a giant red smear on the wall.

Silver grunts and stops flailing around, saying "Okay, okay. Promise me. Say you found the caps, some empty psycho needles, but no me." Kurama nods and says "Leave the vicinity, and pay us 400 bottle caps, and we will promise." Silver looks down at the gash on the dining table. She mutters "400…alright…deal. Let me get them for you." She gently pushes Walt away and walks out the kitchen/dining room, turning right through a doorway. I follow, duel-wielding a new age pistol in my left hand and a Smith & Wesson revolver in my right.

I say "Make sure I see those hands, no sudden movements." Silver says "Yeah…yeah" as she crawls under a mattress raised by a bed frame. On the right, an elevated shelf holding a shot glass, a carton of some obscure brand of cigs, and…a crack pipe? Looks like it. On the left, a long wooden counter with a broken TV monitor, a hammer, this weird spider shaped thing with a needle, guess that's what they call psycho, and a radio of some Southern U.S.A. guy talking about Americanism and baseball. Sounds like a canned recording.

"Here," Silver says, dangling a big sack of what sounds like bottle caps. I grab it with my pistol holding left hand, maneuvering my fingers, keeping the revolver aimed at her. I wedge the top of the sack between my ring and pinky finger…feels about right. I ask "You sure this is 400 caps?" She nods and says "Yes, exactly 400. My entire savings." Eh. Fuck it, we need them more. At least we ain't putting crystal meth in our veins.

I whistle and Walter answers. I say "Take the sack, add it to yours. We'll split the bonus 100 caps three ways." Walter takes the sack of caps out of my fingers and weighs it with his left hand, nodding. He says "Deal." Silver claps her hands together and morosely asks "Is this where y'all going to rape me? Or shoot me first?" Woah! I look at Walt and he looks as taken aback as I am. I say "We don't do that shit around here. I don't know enough about what these raiders do, but I can tell you we ain't like them."

Silver smiles as if she doesn't believe us. She walks past us and says "Thank you. Bless yer hearts, y'all." Can't tell if she's serious or sarcastic over us making out like bandits with the bottle caps. Screw it, 33 caps should set each of us up for at least a few more days, food and drink wise. She turns toward the front door, and Kurama yells "GET DOWN!" *BANG*

I jump as I hear a freaking loud gunshot from outside. I hear wood splinter and I see blood and fabric spray out of Silver's back. She just flinches a little, barely moves. Another gunshot, again through the door I guess, same result, same reaction. A third shot, clean through her nose, out her head. Silver falls back like a falling tree after the lumberjack yells 'TIMBER!' I hear a raspy voice yell "Told y'all we got meat here! Knock knock, time to get fucked!" It's Danny-boy the raider. Showdown at Springvale.

I run to the doorway, press my chest to the left of it, lean to the right, and stick my revolver holding hand through the doorway. Through the holes, I count at least two, probably three. Shit, shit, first gunfight. Never shot one of these things outside the firing ranges in Tokyo…oh shit…shit…shit…the adrenaline's kicking in…fight or flight…fight man, fight.

Door gets kicked off its hinges, showing some sun-blasted, I guess white, bald man in his 30s, with BDSM looking spiked armor, got a motorcycle grille for a chest plate, right shoulder got spiked plating, pants are spiked, holding what looks like a Lee Enfield rifle. I unloaded two shots, gun smoke getting into my throat. I see his fingers shift and I immediately get back into cover. *BANG* Went into the rear door. I hear screaming and some woman yelling in raspy Mexican-accented English "Danny's been hit!" Shit, Kurama is back there!

I peer out again, shit! Some Latina looking woman with black long hair and a revolver, oven mitt patterned pants, entire left arm and shoulder covered in leather. Looks either 40 or taken way too much crystal meth. Danny is on his stomach, bleeding and groaning. She fires a shot at me, I barely duck back, wood from the doorframe splintering, adrenaline pumping, sweat pouring down my cheeks. Wood splinters fall on Silver's dead legs. I pull a John Woo and jump to the right, falling right shoulder first. I fire a shot from my new revolver, missed! Shit! Landing on Silver's legs, I watch a knife fly out of nowhere and into the bitch raider's right thigh. She yells "Puta madre!" and fires at me, barely missing my head, damn! Blood trekking down her right leg, there goes a gunshot, into her right ribs. She twists, trips over Danny, and falls on her ass, shooting at I'm guessing Kurama. Crap, crap…another gunshot from the kitchen, into her neck. Bitch chokes on blood, her legs moving with Danny's convulsing body, revolver falls out her hands. Fox boy just saved my neck.

I see the front half of Kurama appear, aim his pistol at Danny, and put the bastard out of his misery. Hell, Kurama just killed two of the fucks, not bad for someone that only shot from crossbows. Let's try that at a 100 meter range, *BANG* Shit, celebrated too soon, Kurama hits the ground. I look at him, he gives me the thumbs up, phew, that was just a tactical fall to the floor. Someone shooting from behind the rear door, sounds like a 10mm pistol like ours. I finally see Walter, his 10 mm pistol, he crouches by the rear door and puts his left hand in front of his face, as if to shield his face from splinters and bullets.

I spin onto my left shoulder, rolling on Silver's corpse, smearing her blood on my white leisure shirt. I unload the last three bullets of my revolver into the door, hearing some guy yell "Shit, it throbs!" Got him. Walter kicks the rear door down, ducks under a bullet, left hand shielding his face. He shoots twice from the hip, silencing the raider behind door number two. I stuff my spent revolver into my pocket, climb up, and reach for the Latina raider's own revolver, another Smith & Wesson. Got it, fox boy grabs the Lee Enfield and puts his pistol back in his belt. Here's hoping he doesn't accidently shoot his ass cheeks off, doubt there is a surgical procedure for that. I let Walt run out the rear, and I head out the front door, Kurama behind me. I say "Kurama, after each shot, pull the lever. It pushes out the used bullet casing." Kurama says "Understood." His tone really nervous, sounds high off adrenaline.

Outside again, looking straight ahead and to the left, see two raiders in the distance, two male, one black and with a spiky Mohawk, the other either white or Latino, bald and got this blonde Motorhead Lemmy moustache, both carrying sidearms, me thinks 10mm pistols. I see a couple more raiders head up from the school, too far away to make out race, gender, and the big question, the heat they're packing. I fire a shot at the two close-by raiders and send them to cover by a blue big mailbox. Mohawk guy yells "Goddamn, we got lively ones!" I turn right and then bolt for the red rocket, seeing Walter come from the other side. I yell "RUN!"

Pistol fire rains down at us, clanging against the burnt out car in front of us, car crushed by a rotting telephone pole with the wires still dangling. Walter runs and fires over his shoulder at the house, just to show those raiders he can. He takes cover by the wreck, behind the telephone pole. I join him, and then hear Kurama grunt and pant behind me, still there, I was worried I lost him. The burnt out house we were combing earlier, that shell now separates us from the two raiders. I hear cursing and more voices, seems the other two joined the fun. Kurama holds his Lee Enfield like a spear and fires a pointless shot at the house, hitting a beam on the rotting roof. I yell "The sights, Kurama! Aim down the sights!" I point at the small clamp shaped metal sights on the Lee Enfield, looks makeshift. He nods and says all adrenaline rushed-like "Understood!"

Motorhead moustache runs into the burnt out house, see three other figures follow. I fire a pot shot at him with my pistol, sending him back into cover. Kurama yells "Move! They're about to swarm us!" Walter nods and yells "Enjoy you bastards!" He stands up and runs backwards, knees bent, firing blindly at the house, left arm covering his face. I see Motorhead moustache back himself out of cover, take my shot. Two shots from my 10mm, one from the revolver. I see him go down and yell "Fucking arm, man!" Good, that should give them something to piss on.

I run out of cover, joining Walter, Kurama following suit. We sidestep a pile of trash and a yellow pedestrian crossing sign, and then zig zag toward the red rocket. We take cover behind a stationary, rusted car in the station and open fire on the two new raiders, both female, can't see their faces, both got rifles. The two duck, flail, and split up, one on the left taking cover by the telephone pole and the wrecked car, one on the right taking cover by the bus stop. Kurama takes a pot shot, kicking up dust and wood from the telephone pole. He pulls the lever back, expels a shell casing, climbs up, fires another shot at the telephone pole, and bolts for the ramp back up to Megaton. Walter follows, I get up and take the rear, emptying the last couple of bullets in my revolver at the bus stop.

The three of us run up the ramp, hearing gunshots behind us, dust kicking up in front of us. We get to the last Megaton sign and turn right, Walter taking a shot at the one raider crazy enough to chase us. She's either black or South Indian, wearing a welder's mask and covered in armor made out of car parts and pressure cookers, got an M1 Garand I think. We make a beeline for Megaton, Walter jumping over the rocks, me following, I hear Kurama slip, shit!

I turn around and watch the female raider aim down her M1 Garand at fox boy, yelling "Say bye-bye!" *BANG* like a bolt of lightning, a bullet from Megaton strikes her right in the upper chest. She immediately falls down on her right shoulder, drops her M1 Garand, twitches, bleeds, and finally croaks. I look up and yell "Stockholm you crazy bastard! Thanks man!"

Kurama crawls to the dead raider, snatches her M1 Garand away with his left hand, just to be sure, and then checks her pulse, smearing his right hand in blood. He then removes the helmet, black woman in her late 20s, pink dyed hair combed to the right. Fox boy starts funneling through the pockets on her armor, pulling out a dozen bottle caps, a box of .308 rounds, a can of Spam, some dirty water, and an empty syringe. He puts the syringe back in the pocket, unfurls his sack of food, amazingly still with us, and drops in everything, including the pistol, but except the rifles, into the sack. He ties it up and says "Remind me to repay this Stockholm individual with a drink."

The robot walks up to us, says "No…loitering…" and then walks back to the gate. I say "Made it, everyone. Whew, adrenaline still is pumping. Been in a lot of scrapes, but aside from that Sniper guy, first real shootout." Walter pants and falls to his knees, forcing himself to say "Second…second. First happened this morning…" I hear Stockholm yell "Y'all coming in or you waiting for the corpse to reanimate?! Get in, damnit!"

We push through the gates and immediately get greeted by Lucas Simms. He yells "What the hell happened?!" Kurama pants and says "Raiders, those lunatics from the school, barely escaped alive. Four confirmed dead, one chased us to the gates." Lucas says "And got a hello from Stockholm, I get it. Now, I've been keeping my eye on Burke. One of my contacts say he got a letter smuggled out, couldn't intercept. That makes me nervous. If you three are up to it, come with me. I'm ready to show him how Megaton handles wasteland justice."

I say "Can we visit that Moira lady and sell off some salvage? We also got payment from Silver." Lucas scowls at us and asks "Did you…" Walter answers "Raiders, out of nowhere. She's gone." Lucas' scowl turns to a flat look as he says "I see. Alright, I'll walk with you to Craterside, get you three introduced. After that, we're taking Mr. Burke into custody." "Got it," I say.

Stepping into Craterside…woah what the hell is that smell? Like ammonia mixed with bath salts or something! Dimly lit, shopkeepers counter on the right, pencils, clipboards, behind are several rows of lockers. East Asian guy in leather armor on the left, leaning against the wall, looks Chinese. Bowl cut black hair, clean shaven, thick eyebrows, got some kind of rifle on a sling, resting on his back. On the right, by some computer monitor, a redhead white woman in a sky blue mechanics jumpsuit gets off a chair and approaches us.

She speaks, with accent-less English, "Hey, don't mind the smell guys. Just mixing hydrofluoric acid and paint thinner, see what comes out. Don't worry, it's safe to breathe. Really!" Sounds…very…weird and simple. Like she's either an elementary school teacher or got Down syndrome. "Moira Brown?" Kurama asks. She giggles and says 'That's certainly me. Are you my new research assistant?!" What? Lucas interrupts and says "They are just here to sell, Moira."

Moira smiles and says "Oh okay, I always like seeing new faces and new things! What do you have for me, a mirelurk? No way! A living, walking mirelurk! I always wanted one!" O-KAY. Walter interrupt and says "No…just weapons and salvage, from raiders." Kurama tosses Moira his M1 Garand and asks "How many bottle caps for the rifle?" Moira takes the rifle to the counter, scans it, takes apart the barrel, and says "Surprisingly good condition for a raider gun. Let's say, fifty caps and we be all smiles, hehe." Kurama doesn't even try to haggle, saying "Deal. I also have a box of ammunition for it. 24 rounds." He unfurls his sack and hands Walter the loaned pistol back. Walter puts the pistol on the counter as Kurama shows off the box of ammo.

Moira takes the box, opens it, than reads the label. She says "24 caps, one cap per bullet." "Deal," Kurama says, bringing the total tally to 74 caps. Fox boy grabs the caps, and then turns to Lucas. He sets fifty caps aside and says "Give this to Stockholm, for saving my life." Lucas pockets the caps and says "Will do."

Kurama then reaches down at his pile of salvage and lifts up the welder helmet. He asks "How much for this?"

We step out of Craterside, 16 caps richer, with 17 new .32 rounds. Looks like Kurama's Lee Enfield got fitted to take .32s. Walter took back the 10mm pistols and sold them. I chambered twelve of the .32 rounds in my two new revolvers, Kurama put the remaining five to fill up the magazine for the Lee Enfield. We're also expecting 66 or 67 caps once Walter gives us our bonus from the Silver bullshit…this could have been a lot worse than it is. I stick a cigarette in my mouth and wait for Sheriff Simms to light it for me…need new clothes…they're drenched in psycho-junkie blood. I smell like dried blood now, like I just came from a slaughterhouse. I say "Thanks Simms."

I take a drag, keep the smoke in my mouth for a bit more than usual, and then exhale. I feel my nerves calming down for the first time all day. Lucas lights Walter's cigarette and gets a 'thanks' for that. Kurama inspects his Lee Enfield, aiming the sights down at the setting sun. He says "I think I understand how to use this weapon." Lucas says "Ain't much mystery to it."

I ask "Where can we get clothes…you know…with pouches and holsters." Lucas says "Crow, one of the caravaners, he was here in the morning. Check again tomorrow, he usually has a good selection. Now, I believe it's time we paid Mr. Burke a visit." "Agreed," Walter says, unholstering his remaining 10mm pistol.

Approaching the front door to Moriarty's saloon, I run through my head all the crap that happened today. I got sucked into a Suzuki style dimension teleport attack, with Kurama, by a second-rate demon that I could have taken out with two fingers had I not been cocky, discovered that I lost damn near all my spirit energy while I got sent with fox boy to Mad Max's world, haggled over bottle caps in the sight of butt plug shaped robots and two head red cows, worked debt collection for an Irish pimp with fox boy and some weirdo that lived in a freaking footlocker, got into a full on firefight with doped up nutjobs that would just as soon do funny things to my ass with me dead as with me breathing, sold guns with Kurama of all people, and now with a posse, helping the shantytown sheriff arrest some nutcase that wants to detonate the local atom bomb. I gotta be careful not to blow all my caps on booze tonight. Caps…freaking soda caps.

Lucas Simms goes in first, followed by Kurama, then Walter, and then me. Bar counter, some dining tables on the left…woah, barkeep looks like a burn patient, his skin's peeling off. Looks like a freaking zombie. He bangs on some radio and yells "Work dammit!" Guy has a voice raspier then the raiders, least he ain't going to eat my brains, otherwise Simms would have shot him a while ago. I see an amber haired white woman dressed in a washed out grey leather jacket and jeans, smoking a cigarette. She spots us and starts heading upstairs. Behind her, probably the sleezy fuck that runs the place, Mr. Colin Moriarty himself. Gray hair, thin moustache, giant goatee, like almost a beard. Slightly wrinkled face with snake-like eyes, slightly tanned skin. Rocking a black leather vest, a white undershirt, and dark grey jeans. He has one of those 10mm pistols in a side holster, right hand too close to it for my comfort.

Guy laughs and speaks in Irish-accented English, definitely him "Oh, ho ho. Now on what occasion does the sanctimonious Lucas Simms dare venture into this wee ol' den o' iniquity? Think of the children! Oh, and the daddy's boy is with you! Could it be? Has the venerable Lucas Simms finally fulfilled his promise of defending his simple folk's property rights?" Moriarty could wrestle Genkai to submission in a sarcastic comment contest. Lucas says "What you have to discuss concerning Silver is between you and Walter alone. Right now, we need to speak with a patron of yours, Mr. Burke." Moriarty places his left hand on the counter and says "The bloke's here, just keep the fecker alive. Queerhawk but pays caps on time. He…didn't do anything now, right?"

I say "Oh nothing special, just trying to hire people to set off the little radiator down by the crater." Ain't going to let him be the king of wisecracks. Colin takes a step back, makes sure no one else is in ear shot, and says "You're talking out your ass, boyo. Burke just sits in a corner and sips on the top shelf scotch, no information like that could…Janey Mac, that bastard. You two the Japanese boys that came with daddy's boy?" I say "Yeah, that us." Colin scratches his back and says "Over in the corner, by Lucy West, the blonde lass. I'll appreciate it if you don't make a mess." Lucas forces himself to say "Thanks Colin." He starts moving towards the side corner of the bar, right of the entrance, as Walter says "We'll speak about Silver later." "You got the caps?" Colin asks. Walter says "Be patient." Colin gives a crooked look and says "Remember Walter, no money, no daddy."

The three of us break off from Moriarty and walk up to a white clean shaven guy in a gray pinstripe suit, sunglasses, and a brown fedora. Mr. Burke I'm guessing. He's sitting on a chair by a dining table, smoking a really harsh smelling cigarette. Lucas Simms draws his Type 56 and says "I'm giving you one chance Burke, explain your business in Megaton. Now." Walt steps up next to Simms, 10mm pistol in his hand. The blonde girl with the ponytail that Kurama and I saw earlier, she nervously says "Excuse me" and walks away to the back, leaving behind a half drunk bottle of beer. I take her seat, drawing one of my new revolvers from my jean pocket. Kurama sits down in the seat across from me, holding his Lee Enfield rifle on his lap. I watch Mr. Burke set his cig down on an ashtray and say "I'm sorry…Sheriff…what are you arguing about?" Guy has a really creepy American accent, like the bad guy in a Saturday morning cartoon.

Lucas Simms switches off the safety on his Chinese AK-47 and says "You know damn well what I'm saying. The bomb, you want to blow it up. Have you left your goddamn mind at the gates?" Burke laughs a bit, all creepy like, and says "Why Mr. Simms, there must be some kind of…misunderstanding. Surely…someone must be spreading these…obscene rumors. I assure you that they will be dealt with…" He turns to Walter and the two of us. Turning back to Simms, he says "Personally."

Lucas Simms no sells the threat and says "I'm placing you under arrest, until I figure out what the hell is going on." Burke frowns and says "I don't believe I can…oblige your request. I have very pressing matters to attend to. Step aside, now." Simms says "This isn't an open debate. Come with me now or I will put a bullet in your leg and drag you out myself." Burke sighs and says "Why must I mingle with knuckle draggers every waking moment? Very well, I will follow." Simms holsters his assault rifle and says "Good, slow and easy. Walter, you watch the rear." WJR says "Loud and clear" as Mr. Burke climbs from his seat. Lucas Simms steps toward the entrance, Burke follows, Walter right behind Burke. Burke takes one more step and drives his left elbow into Walter's nose, sending him to the ground.

Crap. I get up, fox boy gets up, leaving the rifle on the floor. Burke reaches into his pinstripe blazer and pulls out a 10mm pistol with a silencer screwed on. This is some James Bond shit. I yell "Simms, watch out!" Kurama grabs Burke's right arm and drives him to the counter, I reach for Burke's left arm. In my peripheral vision, I see Lucas turning around, bringing the Type 56 to his arms. During the struggle, Burke yells "You are all going to die! Feeling excited?!" I press my revolver barrel into Burke's left rib and get reward with a back fist to the chin, causing me to trip over a stool and land on my ass. Kurama struggles with Burke's arm, I see him get kicked in the shin. He backs off and then lunges in again, I hear two suction sounds, smell gun smoke. Blood sprays out of Kurama's back. Fox boy gets kicked in the chest and pushed back into his seat, groaning in pain, two red circles on his lower abdomen. Motherfucker!

Burke aims his silenced pistol at Kurama *BANG* *BANG*. First shot misses, second hits Burke's right wrist, causing the piece of shit to drop the piece before he could kill Kurama. The shots came from behind me, Walter I think. Burke yells "Damn! I just had this suit dry cleaned!" He quickly scoops the pistol up with his left hand, ducking under Walter's next shot. I adjust my revolver and fire into Burke's left calf. He yells and struggles to stay on his feet, what is this guy made of?

Lucas unloads a burst of bullets into Burke's right side, causing him to jump back and lean against the counter, shooting his pistol at the ground out of reflex I think. Smell of blood is thick, real thick, and the sharks are coming in for the kill. The three of us unload four, six, hell I think ten more shots into this guy. He keeps yelling and grunting in pain, shooting the floor, unable to raise his gun to shoot us, like this is some Sonny Corleone shit. I suddenly see Kurama, chest and pants completely soaked in blood, fingers too, aim his Lee Enfield and punch a hole through Burke's chest. Burke lifts his feet leaning against the counter, and then lets gravity bring him back down. He falls forward and lands on his face, his fedora falling off. Four of us unloaded enough lead in him to take down a rhino. The bastard doesn't move, just bleeds.

Kurama makes some weird coughing sound, drops his rifle, and falls off his chair, landing on his left shoulder, smeared in blood. Shit, fuck. Fuck! I yell "Get the fucking doctor!" Simms yells "Yusuke, you with me! We'll take him to the clinic! Walter, secure the scene, deal with Moriarty!" I hear the Irishman yell "I asked you to not make a mess!" "Shut the fuck up, boyo!" I yell, lifting Kurama up with my right shoulder, adjust my revolver into my left hand. Simms lifts Kurama up with his left shoulder as the blonde ponytail white woman rushes to get the door opened.

Running down the ramp, almost tripping on his feet, I hear Kurama cough and try to say something, only making out fragments of words that don't make sense. I keep hearing 'Natto beans' and 'report due Friday' and 'bacteria analysis'. He looks like he's drifting in and out of consciousness. I yell "Kurama, stay with me. Please man, stay with me. You had worse and you survived it. C'mon man!" He actually might bleed out.

He's fucking dying! I yell "Faster Simms! Fucking hell, faster!" We finally get down the ramp, Simms yelling "As fast as I damn could. CHURCH! DOC CHURCH!" I hear the door to the clinic swing open. I see a short very dark-skinned black guy in his early 60s step out, with a grayish white trimmed beard and short grayish white hair. He's dressed in a gray sleeveless shirt with dried blood on it, light green cargo pants, a leather purse-like pouch around his waist connected by a shoulder strap. He says "Christ, what we got here?" Sounds pissed off, like I just ruined his evening or something, asshole. My best friend is fucking dying here!

Simms yells "10mm gunshot wounds to the abdomen! Through and throughs, both of them!" The doctor, Doc Church, yells "Shit, bring him here! Hurry!" We head up the ramp to the clinic, find a shack door in front of us and a doorway on the right. Simms tugs right and I follow. I see a dark brown operating table and a shelf with see through mesh drawers full of surgical tools, syringes, some tiny bottles, gauze, and a bottle of vodka. You fucking better save that for the disinfecting, asshole!

Lucas Simms and I lift Kurama up onto the operating table, my hands getting greasy from blood. Oh fuck, he's bleeding fast and hard, do something damnit! Church yells "Out! Out! No! Stay close, outside! I'll yell if I need help!" Holding a syringe in his right hand, he grabs Kurama's left wrist, scans it for a second, and then injects into a vein. Simms grabs me by the collar and pulls me outside, saying "Let Church work, he knows what he's doing."

Outside, hands soaked in blood, shirt caked in dried blood. Sweating, hungry, thirsty, and not sure if my best friend is going to live through the night. I grab my hair and damn near rip it out. Simms puts me in the full nelson and says "Easy there, easy. We did all we could." I yell "Yeah, it was fuck-all that's what it's worth!" Simms transitions to grabbing my shoulders and yells "I told you to relax! Got it?!" "Yeah!" I yell, not giving a shit what John Wayne here says. Simms sighs and says "I can pull my shirt up and show you the stiches from four months ago, when Boppo put four .32 rounds in my stomach. Doc Church had me moving in a week. This is child's play for him. If he couldn't fix your friend up, he wouldn't have walked through the front door breathing."

I stop panting, stressing, letting my hair grow on its own. I say "Alright, alright…okay man…thanks. Seriously, thanks…" Lucas Simms smirks and says "Thank you and your friend. Seems I'm getting old. Wasn't for you two, I'd be the one on that table, and I don't think I would have entered the clinic breathing, if you know what I mean. Thanks." I sigh and say "Yeah, don't mention it. Heat of the moment, did what I had to do. Should have just shot him then and there." Lucas reaches for a pack of cigarettes in his cowboy trenchcoat and says "What they say about hindsight? Always 20/20." I nod and say "Yeah, ain't that a bitch."

He offers me one, I take it. He then pulls out a lighter and lights my cigarette, then tends to his. We start smoking in front of the clinic…I take a few steps forward out of habit, though I doubt people here care about that kind of crap. Dying from cancer that's not caused by radiation seems like a winning lottery ticket here.

A crowd stares at us, Simms gives them a look and says "Everything's under control." They seem to listen and not ask any questions, returning to their canned dinner at the Brass Lantern or their sermons with Cromwell. I turn around and eye up the wanted poster that Simms set up earlier. Like an old American Wild West poster, even comes with a hand drawn sketch. Says on top in red dyed letters 'Wanted.' The sketch, pretty well done I can say, better than I could draw…shows the head and shoulders of a white guy in his late 20s, dark pock marks on his face, black bushy hair, a scar on his chin. Low cheekbones and a bony rat face. Clean shaven. At the bottom, it says in red dye 'Declan Carruthers, Springvale Raider Boss.'

I ask "Who's Declan? I keep hearing that name over and over again. He the boss of those raiders in Springvale?" Simms exhales smoke and says "Yeah, took over after I killed Boppa, the previous ringleader." "Boppa?" I ask. Who the fuck calls themselves Boppa? Simms says "Big Robert Papadopoulos. The one man stupid enough or crazy enough to attack Megaton. We almost lost Deputy Weld, our robot down there, and I took four shots to the gut, but we pushed them back. Me, Stockholm, and Jericho. They attacked with more than twenty, lost half of their people before they realized how stupid the plan was. I got Boppa in the back before he could escape. He bled out, not too fast though. They killed Mick, this vagrant we had living outside, probably a mercy…poor bastard was always near dead from thirst."

I ask "What's the deal with Declan?" Simms says "He was in the attack on Megaton, escaped, I got a good look of the guy though. Been attacking the caravans, scavengers, making it hard to get supplies and good trade going here." "Why don't you send someone to kill that prick?" Simms knocks ash off his cig and says "That's why I made these wanted posters. If you talking about me sending some of my people, then not happening. I trust Jericho enough to not shoot me in the back, but I won't leave him in charge of defense while Stockholm and I would play cowboy. If you want to take a crack at Declan, go ahead."

I ask "What's in it for me and Shuichi?" He says "100 caps. Bring his body here for proof." I yell "What? 100 caps for a gang leader? I could get more from selling a few of their guns!" Simms says "You can also do that too, ain't stopping you. Listen, these raiders have made it difficult for me to collect tax revenue from the caravans. The well is pretty shallow here, sadly." I give him a look that says 'You got to be bullshitting me' and say "You saying that all you will give us, for taking this bastard out, is 100 caps. That is what you are saying." Simms turns to me and says "Yeah, and free surgery for your friend here." Oh. He continues "And my good graces. And maybe, just maybe, the right to own a house here."

He grabs my right shoulder and points at the shack across the crater, to the right of the Brass Lantern. He asks "You see that shack?" I say "Yeah, I see it. No need to go all grab ass on me." He lets his hand go and says "That's Mr. Burke's shack, bought it a month ago. He won't be needing it anymore. If you collect this bounty, the shack is yours." "Deal," I say without even thinking about it. Water may be worth its weight in diamonds here, but a shack in a walled town, in the middle of Kenshiro's playground? That's a whole 'nother precious gem.

Simms nods and says "Good, good." He turns to the ramp leading to Moira's store and watches Walter Joseph Karamazov approach the clinic. Walter waves Simms over to see him. Simms says "Pardon me a sec" and walks up to vault boy, who, from here, looks to be bleeding from the nostrils.

I turn around and put my blood soaked hand on the sketch of Declan, and I realize that, literally, right beyond this thin sheet of metal, Kurama is bleeding fast, getting stitched up in a clinic, at a post-apocalyptic shantytown where, hell, even the medical supplies are salvaged. I curl my right hand into a fist and look to the floor, and realize that my boat shoes are already caked in dirt. And that if he goes, the clothes on my back are the only things I have left of home.

I lost damn near everything today, just like that. Like a snap of a finger, a bolt of fucking lightning, I got cocky and stupid, and I lost damn near everything. My…family, nearly everyone I know. Kuwabara…Hiei…Botan…Keiko…damn…Keiko.

Please, man, whoever is out there, please don't leave me alone here, in this radioactive hellhole. Please don't take the one friend I got left. Please don't make me die alone in this crater.

For the first time all day, and like the taste of clean, purified water on my tongue, I feel moisture in my eyes, on my cheeks, on my shoes. A breeze goes by, knocking ash off my cigarette, onto the floor. Damn this all. I hear Walter speak from behind me, saying "Yusuke, we need your help. I think I can disarm the bomb."