A little humorous one-shot where awkward Jane feels a bit more awkward when she bumps into Maura and an interestingly odd friend.
Author's Note: I haven't posted on FF in a while and just noticed that I haven't finished "Finale", which readers said was hard to follow due to the "teleplay" format I was using. I will rewrite that one, but first a little one shot that's been dancing around in my head after a real life bump-into with someone I am fond of.
Longest day ever.
That thought kept the beat of her grumpy footsteps smacking down on the concrete as Jane made her way back to the station to collect her car and go home.
She had abandoned her stakeout, something her mother called "creepy-crawly", after the last four hours being stuck in an alley behind a rotten dumpster waiting for Jonathan "Jack" Mason to exit the building. After three hours, Jane was inclined to believe she was given the slip. The snarling feral cat who stayed just out of swiping distance for those long three hours agreed too.
As she stomped on, the wind shifted and Jane was treated to the smells of receding deodorant, stale apples, urine and grease. Whipping her head around to confront the no doubt street person who just wanted a buck, Jane was steeled by her image reflecting off the windows of a corner bar. She stood there for a second, letting the wind carry the alley stench away, when her phone chirped. She fished it out of her pocket and was greeted by a message from Maura.
"Look up." It said.
A sense of dreadfulness pricked her skin and dripped into her veins as her matted head rose to the window beside her own figure. A bouncy-smiling Maura Isles was waving to her from a table in the bar. Jane lifted her hand in a slow wave back as she became more and more aware of her physical state and the polished woman sitting with the doctor. Maura motioned for Jane to come in. Jane shook her head. Maura said something to her guest and the woman looked up and smiled at Jane.
Jane shook her head again. Her phone chirped.
"Jane. Please join us."
Jane typed back, "I'm a mess, Maura. I'm stinky and gross." She watched the waiter approach, Maura give some sort of Maura-like-instruction, no doubt her glass slippers that needed polishing, or a bag of $36 a pound strawberries for her turtle.
Chirp. "I ordered you a beer, Jane. Now you must sit with us. It would be rude if you did not."
Jane's eyes fluttered closed as she resignedly slipped her phone back into her blazer pocket and began to walk to the door of the bar. She glanced over and saw that Maura's face lit up with the childish innocence of a girl that was truly tickled pink.
Lord, what she did for this woman.
Cool, spicy air washed over Jane as she pulled the door open. She stood in the stream for a few beats, hoping it would replace the haute-homeless bouquet she was trending on. Her eyes followed the earlier mentioned waiter and what was on his tray. He set a tall, frothy headed ice cold lager down on the table. Parched throat directed Jane's feet to waste no haste. In no time she found herself in front of the lovely doctor and her friend, someone Jane had never met before.
"Jane," Maura smiled as she stood, wrapping Jane in a quick-socialite-hug complete with a kiss on both cheeks. "How good to see you." She turned to the other woman and said, "Lindsay, I'd like you to meet—"
She was cut off by an over exuberant, "Oh, are you one of Maura's? It is so good to meet you. What is your name?"
Feeling a little lost for some reason, she glanced back at Maura who had her attention focused on her martini. "I'm Jane." She held her hand out to Lindsay, who took her hand and kept right on gushing.
"So good to meet one of Maura's! I'm just so jealous." A smile, then they all took their seats. Jane took a sip of her beer.
"How was your day, Jane?" Maura asked over the rim of her cocktail glass. Her hazel eyes walked lazily over to Jane's own browns and held fast. Jane felt her pulse jump.
"Oh, well I guess it could have been better. I hung out in an alley with a very territorial and unfriendly cat behind a dumpster for the better part of the afternoon." She sipped her beer. "In fact, I think I'll visit the powder room. If you two will excuse me for a moment." She stood and looked down at Maura who had fished a small bag out of her purse and was discreetly handing it to Jane. Jane took the bag and made her way to the ladies room.
Pushing open the door and viewing the facilities, she was instantly relaxed and relieved. This upscale bar catered to the female clientele with four private lavatories complete with sink, cloth towels, cushy chair and a toilet that was nicer than anything that Jane had seen in a while. Leave it to Maura to find a bar with a restroom like this.
Locking the huge oak door of the first private stall she came to, Jane decided that using the facilities was first. Squatting behind a dumpster for three hours after a Gran-Venti-soy-mocha-whatever was never the best idea. Finishing up, she unzipped the bag that Maura had slipped her to reveal lotion, perfume, some high end face wipes, and some funky looking mouthwash that on further inspection turned out to be hand sanitizer. Of course. Maura's favorite.
Getting down to actions, she stripped off her shirt and bra, turned on the hot water and began washing herself with delicate bars of soap, then she moved to her face where she scrubbed off the day with the face wipes. Feeling much better, she tossed the brown stained towel in a hamper and got into the lotion. The first scent brought her thoughts to a crash. Maura. Pure Moonlit Maura. Maura after a long shower, relaxing in yoga pants.
Her phone chirped through her thoughts. "Fall in?" Maura's attempt in humor.
But it did make Jane laugh as she lotioned herself and slipped back into her clothes. She made it back to the table in record time where her beer still stood and little plates of food decorated the rest of the table.
"I thought I'd order for everyone, Jane." Maura slid her eyes over a fresher Jane, "Please help yourself."
The soft clinging of plates being passed around then, "You said earlier that you were behind a dumpster all day?" Lindsay was asking Jane, "Why on earth would you be doing that?"
Jane opened her mouth, but Maura beat her to it, "Part of Jane's job, Lindsay, can be quite undesirable. Police work, after all."
Lindsay's face contorted, "A cop? I thought she was a model?" Her voice climbed an octave louder than Jane was comfortable with. Jane shot a look over to Maura.
"Ha, no model here," Jane laughed. "How many models you know that can drink beer?" She took a healthy swig and dribbled down her shirt. Maura used her napkin to blot up the beer from her exposed chest. Jane batted her away.
"Jane is a third grade Homicide detective with the city. Youngest female promoted to detective." She looked curiously at Jane, "Youngest detective, right? Not just youngest female?" Jane nodded.
"And you two have known each other for a while?" Lindsay said between mouthfuls of her own martini, a pink concoction that could have been a cosmopolitan martini. A real one: vodka, fresh lime juice, a touch of Grand Marnier and a splash of cranberry juice. Not like the swill they sloshed together these days. "Now how is that possible?"
Maura and Jane exchanged puzzled looks. "We work together. Have for just about three years now."
Lindsay's eyes bugged. "You're a cop too?" She stood with her glass, "I had no idea!" She turned and walked to the bar.
"I'm sure our waiter will be happy to-" Maura trailed off. She slumped a little. "Oh, lord."
Jane gave her a look. "Who is she?" Chuckling, "I've never seen someone so not fit to be having drinks with you. And I came from behind a dumpster."
Maura sipped her martini and signaled for the waiter. "I don't know how this could have happened." She looked up at the waiter. "I apologize for my guest's intrepidness. She must not frequent establishments such as these." The waiter smiled knowingly, for he knew Maura was hosting this foolish young woman who thought that she had to order drinks at the bar. He knew where his tip was coming from. "I would like another cosmopolitan, please. And Jane? Would you care for something a bit stronger? Perhaps a Bookers with a little ice?" Jane nodded, "And for her. Thank you."
Maura bit into a spear of asparagus. Jane tried not to stare at her perfect lips or hear the soft pop as her teeth bit off the tip. She could feel herself growing flush and knew that if she blushed she would never escape the Eagle Eye of Isles.
"So," She countered, "Tell me about the head case you brought for drinks." She looked at the object on her plate. "What's this?"
"Petit Fromage Tarte with Funghi Veloute." Jane frowned. "It's a cheese tart with a mushroom crème sauce. Eat it. You'll like it. As for her," She glanced at the bar, "I was just trying to be nice. Sharon, my friend at BCU and I were supposed to meet tonight for drinks. She called and asked me to her lab to give a second opinion. When I got there her assistant, Lindsay, was there too and when Sharon told me she had to cancel tonight, Lindsay offered to go in her place. It took me weeks to get a table here. I figured with her IQ, we would at least have something to talk about for an hour or so. But right after her first drink, she started acting weird. Talking too loud, that sort of thing. I'd say she was drunk at work, but I know that Sharon would never allow such mêlée. Imagine my relief when you appeared. I saw you walk by and stop. It was like you knew I was in here, the way you turned at looked right into this window."
Jane crunched the last of the tiny tart. She looked around the table for more. "Yes, my hero, indeed."
The waiter appeared with their drinks just as Lindsay was making her way back to the table. Jane took a sip of her drink. "Who. That's some smooth stuff." She sipped again.
"Bookers is a small batch bourbon that is hand distilled so that almost every batch is between 121 and 150 proof. Each batch is different. I do enjoy a sip from time to time." She helped herself to the snifter and took a sip, her eyes never leaving Jane's. "Mmm, tastes like a 125 to me."
Lindsay stared at both of them, then turned to Maura, "Oh my gosh! You are so smart!" She looked at Jane, "She is so smart!" Back to Maura, "And you are so beautiful." Back to Jane, "Isn't she just gorgeous?" Jane faked a nod and took a sip of her drink, but the onslaught continued out of this weird girl's mouth. "Well, isn't she? How did you two meet?"
This again.
"We met at work," Jane said, slowly and evenly. "We" She gestured between the doctor and herself, "Work together. Work." She felt Maura nudge her a little.
"That's right! You're both cops!" The assistant who never should have been smiled, "I can't believe you're cops!"
Maura's eyes took a faint sparkle that let Jane know that she was in the mood for some delicate ribbing. "I'm a doctor. She's the cop." Maura said, sipping her drink with amusement.
"True story," Jane said, "She's a genius. Her IQ is like 145 or something."
"Wow!" She turned to Maura, "I love your hair. And your eyes. I just love your eyes."
They both looked at Jane. Maura's eyes honed in on Jane's and with a small squint, locked Jane dead to rights. Jane had nowhere to go, even when Maura asked her in the all too innocent tone she used to get Jane, "Well, you tell me. How do I look tonight, Jane?"
Jane flushed, tried to look away. Maura held her tightly until Jane flushed and muttered something about her hair and her eyes being very nice tonight.
"I'm sorry, Jane. I didn't hear you" Maura almost whispered. Jane glanced over at Lindsay who was busy digging in her purse.
"I said, your eyes look wonderful in this light, and you are the only one I know who can look this good after a workout."
Maura smiled.
Jane smiled.
Now how hard was that?