A/N: Hides from angry Romy fans I'm getting back to the Romy Chronicles I swear!! Anyway, this Star Wars one-shot just popped into my head a couple days ago. It's a little missing moment from the New Jedi Order that takes place during the book Balance Point centered around my favorite characters Jaina Solo and Jag Fel! So enjoy and please review! XD
Disclaimer: All characters and belong to the Star Wars Universe and George Lucas.
Summary: After the Battle of Kalarba, Jaina wakes up in the infirmary to find that she has been blinded and is being put on medical leave. Later she receives a special visitor and finds that she's not the only one leaving.
Leaving
The beeps and whirs of medical equipment were the first sounds Jaina Solo heard as she slowly gained consciousness. A wave of pain pulsed though her body as she experimentally shifted her aching limbs. Bad idea, she thought, fully awake now, directing the Force in soothing ripples across her body. When she finally found the strength to open her eyes, Jaina was stunned to see, not the sterile whiteness of a med room as she had expected, but nothing at all.
She blinked desperately but all she continued to see was black. Starting to panic in earnest, Jaina found herself almost hyperventilating as her mind jumped immediately to the worst case scenario: she would never be able to see again.
"Calm down, Sticks," came a reassuring voice to the left of her.
Jaina didn't need to reach out with the Force to determine who it was. "Colonel Darklighter, sir," she said, not too overwhelmed to be unembarrassed her commanding officer had seen her freak out. She took a deep calming breath and turned her unseeing eyes towards him. "Do you know w-why I can't see?" she queried, stumblingly over her words.
Lack of vision normally didn't hinder a Jedi at all, and yet, her blindness startled Jaina more than she thought would be possible.
"I don't know if you remember but you went EV during the battle. Your ship exploded and according to the med droid you passed through some radiation that has temporarily blinded you," Gavin explained.
"Temporarily?" Jaina repeated, hope coloring her voice.
"Yes," the colonel confirmed. "You also sustained damages to your ribs and legs but both injuries are minor."
Jaina exhaled in relief but sensed that he was hiding something. "And how long am I going to be out of action, sir?" She was trying to stare him down but found the effort useless in her present state.
"You are to be deemed as out of action 'indefinitely'," he said rather reluctantly.
"Indefinitely?" Jaina echoed, feeling oddly hollow.
The look on her face must have been extremely pitiful. "I'm sorry, Jaina," Gavin said sympathetically. "Unfortunately, there's no telling how long the blindness will last. It could be anywhere from 3 days to 3 weeks," he admitted. He paused and Jaina could tell he was trying to gauge her reaction. But she had pulled herself together at this point and was wearing her very best imitation of her father's sabacc face. He continued firmly however, "And that is why, as of 1100 hours tomorrow, you will be put on medical leave."
"What?!" Jaina exclaimed, sitting up and ignoring the fact that her chest felt like a gundark was sitting on it. "I assure you, sir, that really isn't necessary. I'm sure with the right brand of Force healing I can be in top condition in only a matter of days. I—," Jaina would have continued rambling if Gavin hadn't cut her off.
"No, Lieutenant, I won't be swayed on this matter," the leader of Rogue Squadron stated. His voice grew gentler as he said, "Really, Jaina, I believe this would be for the best. I mean, you're just recently turned seventeen and you've already been through so much. You need a break."
Unfortunately, this only made Jaina indignant. "I'm not a child, Colonel," she said hotly. She had earned her spot with the Rogues and he made it seem like they had merely been indulging her for the last 6 months. "I don't need to be coddled," she added, narrowing her sightless eyes in his direction.
"It's not coddling," he replied, remaining frustratingly unmovable. "Any other commanding officer would do the same. I hate to lose you, but what you need right now is rest and rehabilitation and you won't get there here when we'll be coming up against the Vong every other day," he reasoned. Jaina felt him shift as he put his hand gently on her shoulder. "It won't be for forever, Sticks, I promise."
Jaina felt herself give in. "Fine," she conceded through gritted teeth, sinking back into the soft pillows of her med bunk. A sudden, urgent thought hit her. "Sir, do you know if my droid made it?" she asked, hoping Sparky hadn't met his demise.
Gavin seemed confused. "Uh, your droid?" he repeated, removing his hand. "No, I don't think it survived the explosion."
Jaina exhaled sadly. She had had Sparky since joining Rogue Squadron. They had been through a lot together.
"Anyway, your father has been informed of the situation," Gavin said, and Jaina heard him stand up. "You're to join him and your brother on Duro. I've arranged for a shuttle to take you there. So, I will see you tomorrow morning for your departure. Until then, try and get some rest, will you?"
Seemingly satisfied with her bland nod, she heard the door slide shut marking the colonel's exit, leaving Jaina alone with her emotions: embarrassment that she had gotten hurt in the first place; frustration that she was being sent away; and sadness that she had lost a good companion. She bit her lip before taking a deep breath and closing her useless eyes. She prepared herself to enter into a Jedi healing trance and her last thought before she slipped away was that she wished Jacen was there to help her. He's so much better at healing trances than I am…
Five hours later, it was the sliding open of her med room door that drew Jaina out of her trance and immediately made her tense and alert. She popped open her eyes and almost growled when she saw only darkness. Not stopping to reach out with the Force, she demanded, "Who's there?"
Barely a second after the inquiry left her lips however; she was assaulted by the visitor in question's beyond vibrant Force signature, a presence that she had grown quite familiar with in the last 6 months. "Colonel Fel?" she asked, shifting her protesting body to an upright position. Jaina sensed the young man's hesitancy as he lingered in the doorway.
"I am sorry to disturb you like this," Jagged Fel said in his usual quiet and stoic manner. "I should have foreseen that you would be resting. Forgive me. I will leave you to your—,"
"No!" Jaina blurted out, sensing him about to leave and desperately wishing to prevent that. She felt her cheeks warm in embarrassment but proceeded on. "I mean, it would be nice to have some company for a bit," she admitted, wishing she didn't sound so young and hoping he didn't think that when he looked at her.
It was so disconcerting being unable to see him, Jaina decided. For the last half year she had slowly come to pick up what the Chiss pilot's different mannerisms meant. His furrowed brow meant he was concentrating on something. His clenched hands meant he was nervous, which wasn't very often. His lips curved upwards when he was amused, which also wasn't very often. Most of the time though, his body language displayed nothing but raw power and more than once Jaina had caught herself staring in admiration. She wished she could see what his mannerisms now. She stretched out to his presence and felt more than a little uncertainty.
"Alright. However, if you start to feel the least bit fatigued you must inform me," the nineteen-year-old colonel ordered, coming over to the side of her bed and sitting down in the chair previously vacated by Colonel Darklighter.
Jaina rolled her eyes. "Sir, yes, sir," she joked, saluting lazily in his direction.
A comfortable silence descended before Jag cleared his throat. "Colonel Darklighter notified me of your accident," he told her. "Am I to take it that you cannot see me?"
"Blind as a mynock unfortunately," she replied sullenly. "More than my injuries though, I think my pride has taken more of a beating. I can't believe I had to go EV."
"It happens to the best of us."
"Oh yeah? Has it ever happened to you before?"
"Yes." Jaina arched an eyebrow. "Alright, no, I have never had to fully eject," Jag conceded. "But I have come close."
"Yeah, well, if I had been more careful, I wouldn't have been so close to the Champion when it blew. I feel so…green," she spat out the word like it was a bad taste in her mouth.
"This from the girl who has gotten as many kills in the last three weeks as her squadron's top ten percenters."
"Oh, you heard about that?" Jaina asked brightly.
"Yes, I did. Very impressive," he commended, and Jaina smiled, knowing that her friend didn't give out such high praise, or what he considered high praise, on a daily basis.
"Thank you," she said, lowering her head and letting her hair hide the blush that was quickly forming on her face. Why did his approval mean so much to her? Her forgotten frustration came back to her suddenly. "I just don't understand why they're putting me on medical leave. I can be more useful here than on Duro," she said stubbornly.
"Can you indeed?" Jag asked, his tone holding a glimmer of teasing. "I had heard that Jedi were powerful but I did not know that extended to being able to pilot a ship blind."
Jaina sat there, stunned for a moment. "Did you just make a joke?" she asked, wishing for what had to be the hundredth time that she could see his face. Were his lips curled upwards in that half smile that she had only caught hints of previously?
"I did. It has been known to happen from time to time."
Jaina scrutinized him as well as she could with no vision before chuckling in earnest. "Jag Fel, you are full of surprises," she said affectionately, wondering about this man who had flown in from the Unknown Regions and was slowly carving a place in her heart.
Another silence engulfed the room only to be interrupted by Jag once again. "There is another reason I came to see you actually," he said, and Jaina could feel his amusement fading away and being replaced with regret.
"What's wrong, Jag?" she asked, feeling the dread well up within her.
He paused with a moment's hesitation and Jaina almost couldn't take the suspense. "Unfortunately, my squadrons and I have been recalled back to the Unknown Regions," he finally divulged, and she didn't need the Force to sense his remorse.
"What?!" Jaina exclaimed for the second time that day. She struggled for her composure and lost. "But we need you here! The New Republic needs you guys! Surely the Chiss don't believe—," but the rest of what she was going to say was lost as Jag interrupted her.
"Regrettably, my superiors refuse to see reason on the subject," he told her, and although his words betrayed no emotion, Jaina could sense something akin to anger pulse in him. "And any word I could say to try and change their minds would be seen as insubordination."
Jaina rested heavily back into her pillows, feeling defeated. Despite Jag's rigid and mostly standoffish nature she had really come to think of him as a good friend. She admired him as a great leader and an even better pilot. Would this be the last time she would ever see him? The thought made something in her physically hurt.
"I'm sorry to burden you with this now," he apologized, but Jaina dismissed his apology with a wave of her hand.
"No, I'm glad you told me," she said ruefully. "I'd rather hear it from you than on the HoloNet sometime after you'd left."
They were both quiet after that, both reflecting on the war, on their respective governments, on each other. Jaina wanted to reach out and grab Jag's hand, but wasn't sure how he would respond to such a gesture. Suddenly, she felt something surge up in Jag but whatever he was about to say was effectively cut off by the sliding open of the door. A quick brush with the Force determined the new arrival to be a medical droid.
"I am sorry, Colonel Fel, but visiting hours are over," the droid stated. "I must ask you to leave."
Jag must have nodded. Jaina sensed the med droid turn to leave and heard the door hiss shut again. The colonel still hadn't moved.
"I guess this is good-bye then," Jaina said, a sad smile on her face.
"It would appear to be so." He paused for a second. "I'm glad to have met you, Jaina Solo," he said so quietly that Jaina wasn't sure if she was supposed to hear.
Jaina finally gave in to the urge to grasp his hand. When she reached out and couldn't find it however, she was gratified when Jag took her hand into his own. "And I'm glad to have met you, Jag."
"I hope we'll see each other again someday," he said, sending a shiver up her spine.
"We will," she said simply, her lips seemingly moving on their own.
"Is that Force intuition or simply wishful thinking?" Jag asked.
She laughed. "Call it both," she told him, not providing him with anything else.
He made a noise that almost sounded like a laugh before finally rising to his feet. "Stay safe, Jaina," he said, drawing her hand away from her and placing a soft kiss on the back of it.
Jaina almost forgot to breathe. She quickly swallowed the lump in her throat. "Clear skies, Jag."
The end! So, loath, love, like it?? Let me know! Thanks for reading!
Melissa