It was too cold out for shorts. I wore them anyways; the goose bumps on my pale legs were like medals, proving I could stand the wind. The last time I wore these shorts was in the summer. I was barefoot, like I was back then. I guess I still wish it were then. I sat perfectly still. I was sitting on the bench. Our bench. It hasn't been that long since we came here. School started yesterday, and it's already cooled down. We used to come here almost every week. We could sit here talking, or not talking, for hours. Now I come here alone.

I had been sitting there thinking for about a half hour before I realized my feet were turning purple. I shook them to invite circulation. No such luck. I stood and walked around for a minute. I sat back down. My attention was drawn to the carving on the left hand side of the bench. It says, "NO REGRETS. JUST MEMORIES." I remember him pulling out his little pocketknife with the mottled coloring from when it fell in the fire, and carving those words. He told me those were the words he lived by.

I shook my head. It wasn't good to dwell on the past. Two more years and I would (hopefully) be at Stanford. The sky started to lightly drizzle on my head. I froze, and watched as the bench turned from a light brown to a dark, soaked brown. I reached into my now damp messenger bag and grabbed my car keys. I hopped into my car and started the ignition. It was a good ten minute drive back to my house and I would have to leave now if I wanted to get back before dark. The rain started coming down harder. I could almost make out the top of my house in the distance. I accelerated, and sped along my mile long drive way.

Once safely in my room, I brought out my old yearbook. I hadn't looked at it since the last day of school last year. I flipped open to the page that read "Sophomores" at the top in bright red. I found his picture. Josh Hotz. Of course he looked perfect. He always does. Even when we went on that class trip to D.C. and everyone got food poisoning. He is the only person I know who can look cute while throwing up.

Directly above him is Claire Harrington. The evilest girl I know and unfortunately the girl that everyone loves. Claire's on top of Josh. How cute. That made me want to gag. Her twin, Derrick is next to her in the lineup. He is surprisingly normal for being related to her. He's always been nice to me. I don't know how he can be related to that supreme bitch, but she fools everyone else. Josh included.

I continued scanning the yearbook. A little ways up is Claire's on again, off again boyfriend Cam Fisher. But then again, she has gone out with almost every guy in school this year. But Cam is the one that mattered the most. They broke up for real in April, but I guess I still see them together. Not that they were good together. The whole time they were going out, she and Josh liked each other. I hate her. I really do. And Josh loves her. How screwed up is my life?

I realize I sound crazy, but Claire is pure evil. She takes you in with her little blue eyes, and then you are a goner. She was emotionally cheating on Cam for their entire relationship with his best friend. I'm still really surprised at Josh. Its not like he made a move on Claire or anything, but Cam is his best guy friend. He could have made it a little less obvious.

Josh says he's totally over her, but I don't completely believe him. Before school got out, she was going out with Kemp Hurley. Whenever Josh, Cam and I were hanging out at lunch period they would both just stare at her flirting with Kemp. I was like "Hello??"

That was a while ago. Things have happened. The summer was great. Well, most of it. We hung out all of June and July, but I was in Italy for the entire month of August. I called him as soon as I got home, but his mom said he was out. I tried again a few days later, but she said the same thing. Then I realized that something had changed. While I was away in Italy, something major had happened. I have no idea what, but I bet it has to do with that female dog Claire.

I flipped to the end of my yearbook where all of the signatures are. Josh wrote a page in his tiny, cramped writing.

"Dear Mass (M-Skillet),

You are such an amazing person. I love being around you and hearing your funny, no HILARIOUS jokes! Haha. You are my best friend and you give the greatest advice and not to be all "classic yearbook," but we are gonna be seeing a lot of each other this summer! It is gonna be the best summer yet! Thanks for always helping me with all the stuff that went down this year, and always being there for me…"

I slammed my yearbook shut and shoved it under my bed, knowing Inez would put it away later. I wasn't in the mood to read anymore of what Josh wrote. I grabbed my iPod and turned it on shuffle. An upbeat Vampire Weekend song came on. I clicked the next button. "The Ice is Getting Thinner," by Death Cab for Cutie came on. I lay back on my bed and started listening to the spine chilling guitar intro.

We're not the same, dear, as we used to be.

The seasons have changed and so have we.

There was little we could say, and even less that we could do

To stop the ice from getting thinner under me and you.

We bury our love in the wintery grave

A lump in the snow, was all that remained.

But we stayed by its side, as the days turned to weeks

And the ice kept getting thinner with every word that we'd speak.

And when spring arrived

We were taken by surprise when the flows under our feet

Led into the sea

Nothing was left for you and me.

We're not the same, dear,

And it seems to me

There's nowhere we can go

With nothing underneath.

That it saddens me to say

What we both knew was true

That the ice was getting thinner

Under me and you.

The ice was getting thinner

Under me and you.

Author's Note: Just so everyone is clear, this is Massie having a reflection the day that school starts Junior year. She's talking about them being sophomores because they were sophomores last year.