Closed up heart
Prologue
Do you ever have this feeling that you want to just fly away and leave everything behind you? It feels like you are an outsider, like you don't belong even to you own body. Suddenly you just feel like you are ripped out from reality and nothing seems quite real anymore.
There are beautiful things in that world you don't belong in. Those things are so beautiful that your breath gets caught in your throat and your heart is bursting just because of the beauty of it all. But there are also those bad and ugly things in this world of reality. Those are the things that make your stomach turn upside down and freeze your mind out of pure terror.
Sometimes it is nice to let all that go and fly to your own world that floats above the real world. When you are in this own world of yours, you can just watch those beautiful and ugly things feeling yourself as an outsider. Then you can see those things but they cannot touch you, they cannot destroy you. It is so much better to not let them touch you. Those things, everything actually, is easier to understand if you are not part of it. In a way it is also sad, but so much more safer.
Persons who are able, or cursed, to reach this feeling of not-belonging are mostly considered as aloof people. They seem cold and collected and their mind works rationally. People often think that persons like that do not care of things like 'love' or 'affection'. Actually they seem to lack emotions completely.
That image is quite far from the truth though. People like that are just afraid of their own emotions. They are afraid of what they might do to them. Their own hidden emotions are far more stronger than those of an average person's and that kind of feelings are powerful enough to destroy you, and others as well.
So when things are like that, the only option these people have is to seal away their emotions and just hope.
Because you see, my dear reader, those people who desperately seal their feelings away in order to protect themselves are always hoping. And what they are hoping is that there would be someone, who could see beyond their mask and save them from themselves. And until that happens, their hearts keep silently weeping…
Someday.
That word has an utterly cruel ring to it.
Hi again! This is the prologue of my newest story. I hope you like it. This is going to be longer than the others and totally different in so many ways. Enjoy!
Yours truly, Vatiatar