First Impressions and Second Chances
The anonymous tip that led agent Phil Coulson's team to the abandoned warehouse was becoming increasingly less reliable. They'd been assured that the identity of the tipper was a trusted source, but Phil was never a man to blindly trust what his authorities told him. Years of experience had taught him that. His team, consisting of agent Melinda May and agent Grant Ward, continued closing in on the room hidden in a maze of halls and secrets entrances. According to the tip, they were only seconds away. Inside the room was, supposedly, information regarding the brainwashing of S.H.I.E.L.D. agents by Hydra operatives. The information could include the whereabouts and identities of these individuals, which was really the only reason Phil had decided to trust the tip. Information like this was rare and exceedingly important to locate.
Phil casually glanced over at Grant. The young man had become so much like a son to him following his betrayal to S.H.I.E.L.D., having been an undercover Hydra agent for the past 10 years. The rebuilding of their relationship had been a struggle unlike any other, but they'd come so far. Grant caught his gaze and smiled warmly at the older man; truly, this relationship was a miracle.
May allowed a hint of a smile to warm her features. She, too, had been hurt and surprised regarding the betrayal. She had not agreed with Coulson when he set his mind on Grant's rehabilitation, but his efforts had reaped a great reward for not only him, but the whole team as well. Grant was no longer the emotionless robot that they had grown used to - Phil broke through the younger man's guarded heart and secured himself in Grant's absence of a father figure. Grant responded to Phil's influence immediately, though the road since had been filled with fits of night terrors and long, hard therapy sessions with the two men. A lot of dark secrets surfaced, and a lot of tears were shed - but never once did Phil even give Grant the slightest hint that he would give up on him. Now, almost a year later, Grant was once again a functioning member of Coulson's team - this time, as the real Grant Ward.
Phil checked his GPS - the room was directly to their right.
However, none of them missed the distinct click of a cocked gun coming from their left.
A team of Hydra agents stood ready to take the team of three hostage. May went rigid and ready to attack at a moment's notice; Phil quietly sighed to himself and tried to recognize any faces; Grant sucked in a gasp when he did recognize a face. A girl, no older than 18, led the group of agents with a stony expression and a very sickly appearance - she was not operating under her own accord.
"Ellie?" Grant whispered, not quite believing his eyes. She looked so sick - how was she even clear for a mission? Of course, Hydra didn't care at all about their agents, a fact that sickened him. Her eyes flashed for a moment, recognizing Grant as a friend who'd treated her decently during his years with Hydra.
"So that's what happened to you," she muttered, disgust lacing her words. "You betrayed us for the monsters. They can't be trusted, Grant, you taught me that long ago."
"I was wrong," Grant retorted, not angrily but firmly. "Hydra is made up of nothing but lies and death. You're only 17, Ellie, you don't have to be doing this -"
"I am a highly trained agent fighting for justice and peace!" She shouted, her grip tightening on her gun. "You may not agree with how Master is attaining the Peace but it will all turn out right in the end. He's promised us, he's proven himself."
"Master will do nothing but kill innocent people and manipulate the minds of people who didn't know any better! I was 15, Ellie, and I still fell under Master's disillusions - you were only 11! He's lying to you."
Ellie listened but didn't want to hear anymore - his words hurt. Master would never lie to them. She lept into action, her men following suit, beginning their assault. May dodged Ellie's bullet and instantly retaliated. Coulson whipped out his own gun and took cover behind a stack of crates, and took out 2 Hydra agents before one man made it close enough to engage Phil in hand to hand combat. In the back of his mind, he prayed that Ellie lived through this. At the mention of her age, his heart lurched painfully - she was just a child. She needed a family, not a sick and twisted organization of killers teaching her how to grow up. If he could help Grant, he could help Ellie.
Grant fought hand to hand with Ellie, easily keeping up with her. If she'd been at full health, he knew that she would've given him quite a run for his money, and probably would've overpowered him. But that wasn't the case. Ellie was very sick - her sallow cheeks and pale complexion proved it. Her hair was flat and her eyes were dead; she was nothing like the terrified but lively and talented girl that Garrett had forced into Hydra "training."
Seeing that Phil and May had nearly finished off her group of agents, he stepped up his game. Ellie noticed and cursed herself - she would die in shame, to a traitor. During their time together, she'd looked up to Grant; maybe she still did. But she knew he'd kill her. Grant kicked the back of her knees and they buckled, and he threw her to the ground. Quickly grabbing an item from his vest, he injected her with an anesthetic before she could regain her strength. May slammed the last agent into the concrete wall, knocking him out cold, and turned to Phil with an affirmative nod.
Phil kneeled next to Grant and placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "I'm guessing we're thinking the same thing," he said, brushing a lock of dull blonde hair out of Ellie's now serene face. She looked like she hadn't slept in days. "She needs a second chance at life."
"I helped train her," Grant sighed, guilt evident on his face. "I wasn't terrible to her, but I wasn't kind. She had so much life in her. It's all gone, and it's my fault."
"It's Garrett's fault, son," Phil gently corrected him, nudging his chin up so that Grant looked him in the eye. "We'll help her. I'm confident that she'll see reason and begin to heal under our care."
Grant offered the man a small smile - he wished he was as confident as his surrogate father.
Hydra agent Elodie Carlisle sat in complete silence aboard the helicarrier. She had been placed in a secure interrogation room, a bowl of hot chicken broth sitting untouched in front of her. Phil decided not to introduce himself to her until she tried the broth - there was no use trying to get through to someone so firmly guarded. Soon enough, she couldn't ignore the savory fumes of broth that filled the room, and she slowly began to sip. She figured that if they had wanted to kill her, than they would have done so in the warehouse. The broth was soothing in her empty stomach, and she couldn't help the tiny sigh of pleasure at the taste.
Moments later, Phil entered the room. She placed the spoon next to her and looked him dead in the eye - she knew who he was. She'd been warned about him.
"Agent Carlisle," he greeted, a genuine smile on his face. He didn't see the need for a scary facade.
"Agent Coulson," she returned cooly. Truth be told, she didn't know what to expect. Master had told her that S.H.I.E.L.D. was full of treacherous agents who only sought destroy the Peace. Nothing about agent Coulson fit the description that Master had given her. However, she knew looks could be deceiving.
A part of Coulson wondered if attempting to rehabilitate this girl was even worth it - having been brainwashed for so long, since such a young age, made her a very difficult case. Grant should've been a harder dance, but having built relationships with the team, it was easier for him to change where his loyalties lied. Elodie knew no one outside of Hydra, save Grant, whom she seemed to despise at the moment. However, a bigger part of him believed everyone deserved a second chance at life. Her life had been ripped away from her and replaced with abuse and lies. Sitting across from her, he got a really good look at her - her eyes were soft green, her face was defined but not sharp. Her age would have been hard to guess due to the wear and tear of the past 5 years of her life. Anger bubbled up inside of him - who would be cruel enough to do this to a child? Knowing that she and Grant probably weren't the only ones that Garrett had done this to made him sick.
"I know you don't trust me - no, sorry, I know you've been conditioned not to trust me, or any S.H.I.E.L.D. agent for that matter," Phil began, his tone soft but very serious. "I know about Master - who he is and what he stands for. He's a man who kidnaps children and brainwashes them to accomplish his own twisted plans -"
"Master Garrett is a hero," Elodie spat venomously, clearly ignoring what Phil was saying. "He saved me, he gave me a home when my parents had burned!"
This peaked Phil's interest. "Your parents burned? Tell me about what happened."
Clearly pained at the memory but eager to prove Phil wrong about Garrett, she explained, "My parents were caught in a house fire when I was 11. I came home, and…" she paused to swallow down the emotion threatening to surface, "...my home was engulfed in flames, along with my parents. Garrett found me, and he gave me a home and a purpose. He is a good man."
"He is a liar," Phil contradicted.
"He has never lied to me!"
"I can prove it, Ellie."
"Fine! Go ahead, show me your lies, agent Coulson."
Not looking forward to doing what he then had to do, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a remote. He turned on the plasma screen TV hanging on the wall, and a video began playing. It was a news report, and a woman with dark hair and dark skin began speaking, "11 year Elodie Carlisle disappeared from her home last night, leaving no traces of any struggle or a plan to leave - not a single item was taken with her, leading us to believe she was taken by experienced kidnappers." An interview with a familiar pair of people played next. "We ask that people keep their eyes open at all times," a woman with Elodie's eyes and hair said tearfully. "Our little girl is so unique and talented, she's kind and she loved us and everyone she met - and we know she'd never run away. We just want our baby back." She choked back tears as a distraught man held her and shared her tears.
"Mama, daddy," Ellie whispered, not believing her eyes. She turned furious eyes to agent Coulson. "This is a cruel trick," she gasped, a sob taking her by surprise. She couldn't stop glancing up at the screen, as much as it hurt her. Phil quickly shut the TV off, not wanted to cause her any more pain but also feeling that they were far from finished. She gripped the arms of her chair, fury building in her at an alarming rate. She shook her head and snarled, "You're lying."
"You're father passed away in a car accident 3 years ago," Phil said gently. "You're mother fell into a deep depression after that. She's currently battling pancreatic cancer, and she's not expected to live for very much longer."
Ellie's breath caught and she could only stare at him. An unexpected rush of paternal protectiveness overcame Phil's reservations about the girl, and it took everything in him not to wrap her up in his arms right there and then.
Ellie felt a distinct part of her heart shatter as she threw the bowl of broth against the wall, the chair she previously sat in following suit not long after. Phil quickly vacated his chair and pressed against the wall as he witnessed Ellie's breakdown. She needed this - she needed a lot of things, but this emotional release was, he expected, long overdue. The second chair shattered against the television, knocking it off the wall and smashing into the floor. The table legs were bolted to the floor, but that didn't stop her from kicking them in.
"It's not true!" she screamed, storming up to Coulson grabbing his suit. "You have no reason to tell me the truth! I've hunted down and killed so many S.H.I.E.L.D. agents! You should kill me, I deserve to die!"
There it was. Phil wrapped his hands around her wrists, and watched as everything came crumbling down. "I killed so many, so many agents and I betrayed so many people, Coulson, I deserve to die," she sobbed, knees buckling. Phil caught her and held her close to him. Her entire body shook, and she yelled, "Why? Why can't I see the fire? I don't understand…"
"Garrett has a lot of practice with brainwashing, Ellie," Phil answered softly, "He made you believe that this vision he'd made up in your head was real. None of this is your fault. You were lied to for so many years - you had no idea what you were doing."
Ellie could only watch as everything she knew to be true fell into a dark pit of deception. She could feel herself unraveling, and she was so scared - the only thing she could hold onto was this immovable force that she'd believed to be a monster for so long. She didn't deserve this support. She pushed herself away from him, and slammed her fist into the thick metal walls. A fresh sob escaped her lips at the pain that blossomed from her knuckles, but she relished in it. She tried to hit the wall again, but Coulson pulled her away from it. She kicked him and tried desperately to rip herself away from him, but he was far too experienced to let her fit deter him. Quickly immobilizing her under his arm, he landed three sharp swats on her bottom, effectively halting her violent movements.
Deciding that this was what she needed, he began spanking her with vigor, never slowing or softening the swats. She gasped and grabbed onto his leg, but she never tried to jerk away from him. He didn't feel the need to say anything - it was obvious that she needed some sort of redemption, something to take her mind away from everything she'd done.
"We're not giving up on you, Ellie," Phil told her firmly, "You do not deserve to die. You deserve a second chance, to live the life that was taken away from you. You deserve a family, love, warm meals, a safe place to sleep, loving correction - and you'll get all of that. I promise you, you will never feel unloved again."
Ellie's whole body tensed, and she shook her head in disagreement. "I really d-don't," she sobbed, holding on tighter to Coulson's leg, silently begging him to prove her wrong. And he did just that. Aiming lower, he began swatting the undercurve of her bottom with a bit more strength than before. A fresh wave of sobs erupted from the girl and she involuntarily drummed her feet against the floor. He began softly talking to her.
"Why am I doing this, Ellie?"
"B-Because I need it," she choked out - she was not used to lying or beating around the
bush; Hydra had drilled total honesty into her head from day one.
"Why else?"
"I don't know!"
"I'm doing this because you deserve it, and not in the way you're thinking. You deserve loving discipline, not abuse. You deserve people who care about you and love you, not people that only want to use you for their own selfish and twisted desires. Right?"
She hesitated, but she nodded for his sake. Phil added, "Say it to me. What do you deserve?"
"I d-deserve…" As much as she tried, she couldn't say that pesky four letter word, because she truly did not believe that she deserved it. Phil, understanding and knowing that a change of heart was something they'd have to work on, instead asked, "Tell me what you don't deserve, then. And I do want a full answer, sweetheart."
"I don't deserve to die," she gasped, forcing the words to impact how she was feeling. She'd been lied to for so long - she knew in her heart that she would have never done what Garrett conditioned her to do under her own control, if she'd known how deceptive he'd been. A large part of her mind nagged her to stay loyal to the Hydra cause, but the revelation of her parent's partial survival had knocked her so out of whack that she just didn't know how she felt about anything. She did, however, believe that just maybe, she didn't deserve to die.
Stilling his hand, he instead rubbed Ellie's heaving back and said, "You are exactly right, my dear."
Elodie cried long and hard, feeling confused and hurt and enlightened all at the same time. She wanted so many things at that moment - she wanted to see her mother, she wanted to talk to Grant, she wanted to sleep. The last 24 hours had been so confusing and she was exhausted. An alarm set off in her head, reminding her that she needed to take her enhancement pill soon, or she would be in a very dark place very soon. Coulson lifted her up and wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight.
"I need t-to take my vitamins," she said offhandedly into Phil's chest, of which she was sleepily resting against. Phil thought the comment odd, and decided to have Leo and Jemma take a look at the vitamins which were no doubt in her belongings that they'd confiscated.
"I'm sure they can wait until you've had a good night's sleep," he said evenly, not letting on his suspicion. He remembered Grant's addiction to the enhancement drugs he'd taken prior to his betrayal, and the difficulties he had during the withdrawals had been difficult.
"I guess," she yawned. Coulson smiled and scooped her up into his arms, then nodded to the camera in the corner of the room. Moments later, Grant opened the door to the interrogation room. He looked down at his young friend, now fast asleep in Phil's arms, and felt a little relief at the sight. She really did look frail - while she was well built from excessive training, it was obvious that she was malnourished and overworked. Grant hoped that meant that Garrett was running out of agents to send out on missions.
Coulson settled Ellie into a room connected to his and Grant's, then proceeded to contact Leo and Jemma though their wrist comms. "Elodie is no longer an immediate threat," he informed, "but I'm afraid she might be addicted to the same enhancement drugs that Grant used to use. I'd like you two to be ready to check her over when she wakes up, please."
"Not a problem, boss-man!" the chipper voice of Jemma replied. "Do you have anythin' for us to do in the meantime?"
"I'd like you to look through her belongings and try to find any medication that might be stashed away in there, if that's not too much trouble. See if you can identify any that you find."
"Easy as cake!" Jemma quipped.
"It's easy as pie, Jemma," Leo grumbled before hanging up the call. Coulson shook his head fondly before hanging up his end. He looked up at Grant, who smiled tiredly at him.
"I really never thought I'd see her again," Grant confessed, looking distressed. "Most kids never made it past field training."
Phil saw the pain flash in his eyes and pulled Grant into his arms. The younger man sighed heavily and dropped his head onto his father figure's shoulder. While he understood that he'd been forgiven, that fact did not stop him from feeling intense waves of guilt whenever something from his past popped up. He felt so responsible for what had happened to Elodie, and he couldn't even logically explain why. His stomach twisted; he'd be having nightmares tonight for sure. He hugged Phil tighter at the realization, an involuntary and barely audible whimper escaping his lips. Phil heard it, though - he always knew when his son was distressed.
"You can always stay with me, son," he assured the younger man, holding Grant closer. "My room is always open, to you and to any other member of the team. I'm here to guide you, I won't ever turn you away."
"Thank you," he sighed, the tension leaving his body as the man's words and touch. "I think I might have to. Something tells me that my nightmares are gonna act up tonight."
"We'll fight them together," Phil assured him, nothing but firm devotion in his voice. Grant felt a twinge of guilt poke at his heart - he'd betrayed this man, lied to him for the entirety of their time together, and he was still treating him like a son. He didn't deserve that, though he tried his hardest to get rid of those feelings. Part of him feared that Coulson would realize that and toss him aside like so many others had; without meaning to, he tightened his hold on the older man. Sensing Grant's distress and knowing him well enough to know the poisonous thoughts invading the boy's head, he returned the tightened embrace and spoke calmingly to him.
Elodie woke an hour later, her face hot and her head throbbing. She knew immediately that she was due for her daily vitamin. Trying to stand, she barely got a foot away from her bed until she stumbled over her own feet and crashed into the floor. Groaning, she pushed herself back up and tried to rebalance her equilibrium. When she felt like she could make it to the door without face-planting the floor again, she went out in search of her belongings. The halls were oddly quiet - maybe they were in a meeting. They're probably figuring out what to do with me, she thought to herself, feeling a bit of panic at the thought. Most of them probably want me thrown into jail...or killed. I don't blame them. I would want me dead too.
Elodie halted at the entrance to the lab. Looking in, she saw her bag and vitamins resting on a metal table on the far side of the room. She couldn't hear anyone coming, so she felt safe in extracting her vitamins without them knowing. She needed them - surely they'd understand.
Shaking two out into her hand, she threw her head back and dry swallowed the little pink pills. Moments later, relief flooded her system, and she felt much more like herself. She pocketed the pills and turned to leave, but instead found herself staring into the eyes of Agent Phil Coulson. Though she felt like a kid with her hand in the cookie jar, she plastered on her most charming smile. "I just came to get my multivitamins," she told him, trying not to sound nervous. She cringed at the high pitch that the words came out in.
"I feel like we both know that those are a bit more serious than just plain old multivitamins," Phil said softly. "Do you know what are in those?"
She bristled slightly, and nodded. "Mostly, yes."
"So do I, Ellie."
"Then you'll know that the only enhancing element is erythropoietin."
"I do - however, there's two other elements in them that I don't think you know about; something to keep you coming back for more."
Coulson stepped over to the computers and pulled up the list of variants that made up her 'multivitamins.' He pointed to the different elements, saying, "Most of these are regular, natural ingredients. However, these two -" he stopped and looked at Ellie worriedly, "are certainly not usually placed in a multivitamin...ever."
Ellie looked at where his finger had stopped. Darvocet and Ritalin.
"For concentration and pain relief," she realized. "But...very addictive."
Coulson nodded solemnly. "That's why you felt so off even after just a few hours without it in your system." His heart ached at her instantly panicked expression. Reaching out, he pulled the girl close to him and she latched onto the comfort he provided. "It's going to be hard," he confessed, "but we have experience with this kind of thing. Grant had to suffer the withdrawals of Garrett's drugs as well, though they were slightly less addictive."
Though she grimaced, she was relieved that they knew what to do to help her. The last thing she wanted to do was go back to Garrett in some withdrawal-induced hysteria. Right now, she had energy she needed to burn, and asked permission to head to the rec room.
Phil nodded his approval. "I'd like you to take Grant with you; you two should reconnect, and I'd like him to make sure you don't overdo anything. You're not at your full health, please keep that in mind." He smiled warmly at her and released her from his fatherly hold. Though she'd not had her fill of the man's paternal affections, the last thing she wanted to do was come off as clingy and pester him away. She had a real chance here, with Phil and Grant; she felt so strongly that she didn't deserve it, which only caused her fear of messing it up seem more admissible.
With a stoic smile, she turned on her heel and determinately ambled out of the lab. Coulson watched her leave with a sigh. She was holding so much back; he feared for her emotional state if she held back her pain for much longer. Something needed to set her off...something big enough to give her the emotional release she so badly needed, but not traumatic as to close her off from them permanently. An idea popped in his head, and he headed out to find May for council.
"How are you adjusting?"
Elodie slammed her fists into the punching bag as she considered Grant's question. She glanced at him before grabbing a towel. "I'm doing ok, I guess. Agent Coulson is...hard to believe."
Ward looked confused at that. He was the most genuine person he'd ever come across. "How do you figure?"
"I just can't believe someone so good actually exists - he seems to intent to help people like us. I've never met someone so selfless and determined."
Understanding completely, Grant smiled at his young friend. "I remember feeling the same way - still do sometimes. Most of the time, if I'm honest."
Elodie shot Grant a sympathetic look. "It's hard believing someone loves me after believing for so long that no one ever would again."
"Exactly," he replied, swallowing down a sudden wave of emotion. They'd been doing a light workout and talking about everything and anything for nearly an hour. As Elodie towel-dried the sweat from her body, Leo peaked into the rec-room with a grin. "If you wouldn't mind, Jemma and I would like to get a quick blood sample to see how strongly your body is depending on the drugs, and to get an idea on what supplements you're lacking to get you back on track to being your perfect healthy self."
Smiling at the positively adorable engineer, Ellie promised she'd meet him the lab after she showered. Leo blushed at the wide grin she cast him and quickly scurried off back to the lab.
Elodie wasn't blind to the wary glances Skye shot her as she joined the team in the lab. Figuring that responding her distrust was petty and unwarranted, she ignored them. She understood her reasons for her weariness; this had all happened so quickly, and Elodie understood that Skye was harboring the notion that Ellie was still loyal to Hydra. I'd have to be dragged back kicking and screaming to ever set foot in a Hydra base ever again, she thought to herself.
Coulson and May were the last two to enter the lab. Everyone was working on their own projects, but Coulson was there to offer Ellie emotional (and physical, if needed) support. He felt relieved to see that she looked far more placid after her workout with Grant. Grasping her hand, he gave her his most reassuring smile, and she seemed to relax even more. "We're all going to help you through this," he told her. "This is only the first speedbump on a long road to recovery. It's nothing I or the rest of the team can't handle."
Grant took a seat next the cot Ellie rested on, opposite of Coulson. "He's right. We're here for the long run, and we've got your back. Family doesn't abandon family when the going gets rough."
Feeling as though her heart might burst, she forced herself to concentrate on Leo, who was preparing the needle to draw her blood. He took a seat next to her on the cot, and asked. "Are you ready?"
Looking at the people who, for some reason that God only knew, now considered her family, she felt a peace settle over her whole body. She knew it was only a matter of time before they realized she wasn't worth their time, but for now, she was happy. Giving Leo another dazzling grin, she whispered,
"I'm ready."
To Be Continued