mission 1.

The team reached the Stargate in time and leapt through. Jack was having a relaxing cup of coffee when he noticed some thing was missing. HMMMMMM what could it be. THEN he realized there was an absence of a small niggling little noise over excitedly telling him about some thing he didn't care about. OH NO they'd forgotten DANIEL!!! And in Apophis' palace too dam this was going to cause a load of paperwork.

'Um sir we eh seem to have forgotten Daniel.'

'WHAT do you know how much paper work is involved in forgetting an archeologist, I've just filled in the paperwork for the last lost geek, man go and get him and do it discreetly.sigh.'Then he looked sympathetic, 'I know I know how easy they are to lose, these archeologists.'

'But sir I was meant to go fishing. Daniel can stay with Apophis for a little while I mean do we even need him back what does he even do sir?'

'He is the only one who will clean my room and car for ten bucks.'

'Well OK then sir.'

Jack was ticked off at being the one to retrieve Daniel. He went through the gate deciding to make a memo in his digipad ($10:99 from woollies) about remembering Daniel on his next mission.



Daniel's torture.



'Um yes my lord I know but I am sure Daniel Jackson needs to be tortured but I am unsure that a candlelit dinner in your room is the right approach.'

'Dare you challenge your GOD'

'Umm no my lord Apophis.'

'Good cos I am a god you know. Bring Daniel Jackson in.'

The two Jaffa warriors brought Daniel in. He was crying.

'Waaaaaahhhh they pulled my hair. And stole my glasses and....'

It continued on this vein for about two hours until Apophis and his first prime were so annoyed that they told off the Jaffa just to shut him up.

'Daniel Jackson' the first prime said 'You have been sentenced to have a candlelit dinner with Apophis.'

Apophis looked at Daniel as they carted him out. Hmmm how could they forget such a cutie.

That night the Jaffa ignored the screaming in Apophis' room as Daniel attempted to escape. Daniel tried to bang in the door but his puny arms didn't even make a noise on the door. Daniel decided he could not physically escape from Apophis so he used his oversized brain.

'No No Apophis I can't'

'Why not do you not find me attractive.' he said arching his eyebrows in a suggestive manner and flexing his muscles.

'Umm No No Apophis it's em not that it's just on my planet people must be married first em please respect my customs.' Apophis thought about this, an eternal married life with Daniel didn't sound so bad...

'OK we'll get married tomorrow' Daniel sighed with relief a day was long enough for Jack to rescue him.

jack

Jack was in the Apophis' place gift shop about to buy Teal'c an 'I love my symbiote' key ring when he wondered what he come here for. Hmmm oh well maybe he'd remember in the Pyramid arcade. He sauntered off and was faced by a man at the desk

'What will you barter for a game?'

'Um I have a zap.'

'OK 1 game'

After two hours of playing street hockey against Apophis Jack Victorious walked out into the street and fell asleep on the roadside. What was he here for again dam he knew he should have written it down ahhhh well he'd do it tomorrow.

'MOVE!!!!!!' my lord Apophis will come any moment and this dumb tramp is still sitting here.'

Jack looked up groggily at the Jaffa glaring at him.

'Why is Apophis coming this way?.

'Well his wedding to Dr Jackson is nearly over.'

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!

DAM DAM that was what he was to do get his archeologist back bugger. He ran towards the church damming his bad memory.



















DANIEL'S BIG DAY

'Do you Apophis take Daniel to be your lawfully wedded husband'

'I do'

'And do you Daniel take Apophis to be your lawfully wedded husband'

'EEEEEEEMMMMMMMMM I....I.....D....'

'STTTTTTTTOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'

Jack leapt in. Apophis sighed why did this always happen.

'Why?' the priest asked.

'Emmmmmmmmm because' in truth Jack couldn't remember what he was surposed to say. Oh why hadn't he written it down! Oh wait he had he fumbled with the piece of paper. Oh yeah now he remembered!

'Cos he's my archeologist I just forgot him.' Apophis looked at him incredulously. But jack was spared the rebuke by Teal'k leaping on Apophis screaming

'MARRY ME APOPHIS NOT DANIEL'

Jack threw Daniel over his shoulder and ran out of the church they reached the Stargate and ran through.

The whole SGC applauded Jack and Daniel gazed at him and said.

'My knight in shining combats'

OH No why ME thought Jack as Daniel hugged him.

THE END

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