A/N so this a small part of a large story I'm doing, but it won't be done for a while and I thought this part was cute and could stand on it's own.
The Joys of Fatherhood
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"Yo."
"Red, most other people answer with hello. You could at least make the effort for more than one syllable."
"I likes my syssysabls just the way I says 'em. What's up?"
"I just wanted to tell you that the house is finished. It's absolutely beautiful! You simply have to come see it. I didn't think the Baroque decor would meld with the necessary renovations, but it did! And the edging-"
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"…Are you going to come and see it or not?"
"Only if you don't talk about it."
"Fine….How is Liz doing?"
"Eh, the morning sickness has her on edge, but otherwise she's fine. I just wish she wouldn't try to exert herself so much. She could get hurt! She's maken' me nervous."
"Well, the twins will be here soon, and then you can worry about three people for the rest of your life. Just think of the fun you'll have! Watching your baby girls race along rock edges, jumping out of trees, fighting evil demons, dating punk rockers…"
"…Thanks, buddy."
"Don't mention it."
"…"
"…."
"…with lots of tattoos and piercings…."
"I will kill anyone who touches my baby girls!! And I will kill you if you corrupt them!"
"That's the father spirit, Red."